Preety_India

Swan wiccan started on 21st September. It has given me huge relief from depression and solved my problem of having a trajectory in life. It feels good and peaceful finally. Finally my soul has found peace and the continuous restlessness is gone. I can finally breathe and be confident to move on and put things in order finally. I know I was never very mentally tough. But I found a way.

There are a tons of challenges in life and we have to somehow get through them. Find a place, a heaven of peace. A place where we can rest and feel better. I'm trying to do the same since the past few days and it has been difficult with both my emotional and health problems. Nobody wants to be fucked with. Nobody likes that. And you waste time with energy vampires and suckers. There are suckers, fuckers, users, vultures, scavengers, bullies and players everywhere and it's difficult to deal with it. But one day I will emerge stronger above all, find my path, get healing and move on. I won't let myself be permanently damaged. I can do better and I will do better.

@seeking_brilliance Thank you

I reported the bully Speedscarlet. I hope he won't post anything on my journal again. Thank you.

Don't bully people on their journals.

What

He is deleting his comments after posting them.

@Speedscarlet hmm. What is it about?

16th October I'm depressed. I'm trying to heal. Today is a bad day.

Chapter 45

Did you get your high? Happy? This world is not as much a sad place without food or a home as it is with people like you. You are a cyber bully.

Chapter 44

Chapter 43

Chapter 43

Chapter 42 3 concepts 1. If I wasn't so hungry for affection I wouldn't been so needy. This neediness is not fake. Rather it's a sign of a deeper hunger due to lack or deprivation at early stages in life. This deeper need was never fulfilled even once as a result there is a gaping void that is left that was never fulfilled that in turn gave birth to extreme emotions, feelings of inadequacies, insecurity and low self esteem and lack of trust in others. Leading to hyper vigilance and hostile defensive behavior. Also causing moodiness and low motivation. Never felt motivated enough to do something for someone else. To live for others. That maturity never came. There is a huge difference between attention seeking Narcissism and deep hunger for love.. In hunger real help is needed. Its like saying to a homeless person seeking a home, "you are being very selfish." this is very abusive. And there was nothing to compare to. No positive emotional state to compare to. Nothing to draw from. No earlier or previous boost for self esteem to rely on or draw from. 2. Projection of character. If a person does not try to put effort to understand you better and make you to be something you are not and project your character to be something it's not, and this is consistently happening and despite you requesting them that's its just their misunderstanding, they still do not believe you, then such people are only going to hurt you more down the line. It's best to avoid them because eventually they will only shate and disagreement. Those misunderstandings are never going to be resolved no matter how much you hope for it. And such people are eventually going to prove to be toxic to you. Therefore you should avoid them and they should not have a place in your life especially when you did nothing wrong and they are still misunderstanding you. Their misunderstanding means they don't deserve you, because you don't deserve people who misunderstand you despite claiming they love you. You deserve people who understand you. 4 qualities of people who love you. 1. They care about every little thing about you 2. They have deeper communications with you 3. They fight and get angry and upset and possessive about you. 4. They do not want fights with you. So they believe you 5. Let go. When someone tries to project your character in a certain way then they are either causing huge misunderstanding or they are doing this on purpose because they don't want to put the effort in understanding you. They just don't want to be on the positive side of you or think positive about you. This I will refer to as either lack of understanding by mistake or on purpose, when it's on purpose for narcissistic self serving goals then I will call it projection of character. If someone is trying to project your character in a way which is not even remotely close to who you are then they are covertly demonizing you. This is a covert attack or covert bullying. In such a case, this person does not deserve to be in your life as your friend/partner for the simple reason that the person who truly loves you will try to understand you in the best possible way, mostly in a positive affirmative way unless you are showing very abnormal behaviors where it's difficult for them to support you, otherwise they will mostly be supportive of you and they will try to resolve any misunderstandings and they will know you for who you truly are. This line is golden. The person who loves you knows you best, that is, they know you for who you truly are, and you know yourself better, you know who you are and how you feel so there should not be much difference between what person thinks you are and what you think you are. If there is a huge difference then it means either there is a true misunderstanding or they are trying to judge you on purpose mostly to serve their own goals. But love is sorta intuitive. So eventually at some point the misunderstanding will resolve as the person tries to live you more and know more about you, Narcissistic Behavior article excerpts Calling you things that you are not A classic example, “You’re cheating on me,” when you are not, but you can bet they’re cheating on you. Or, “You’re selfish because you don’t want to do what I am asking you to do. You only think about yourself.” Meanwhile they are the ones who constantly make up excuses, break promises, are unreliable, think only about themselves, or compete with you. Not only that, they will forget all the things that you have already done for them. 2. Projection. One sure sign of toxicity is when a person is chronically unwilling to see his or her own shortcomings and uses everything in their power to avoid being held accountable for them. This is known as projection. Projection is a defense mechanism used to displace responsibility of one’s negative behavior and traits by attributing them to someone else. It ultimately acts as a digression that avoids ownership and accountability. While we all engage in projection to some extent, according to Narcissistic Personality clinical expert Dr. Martinez-Lewi, the projections of a narcissist are often psychologically abusive. Rather than acknowledge their own flaws, imperfections and wrongdoings, malignant narcissists and sociopaths opt to dump their own traits on their unsuspecting suspects in a way that is painful and excessively cruel. Instead of admitting that self-improvement may be in order, they would prefer that their victims take responsibility for their behavior and feel ashamed of themselves. This is a way for a narcissist to project any toxic shame they have about themselves onto another. For example, a person who engages in pathological lying may accuse their partner of fibbing; a needy spouse may call their husband “clingy” in an attempt to depict them as the one who is dependent; a rude employee may call their boss ineffective in an effort to escape the truth about their own productivity. Narcissistic abusers love to play the “blameshifting game.” Objectives of the game: they win, you lose, and you or the world at large is blamed for everything that’s wrong with them. This way, you get to babysit their fragile ego while you’re thrust into a sea of self-doubt.

Chapter 43

Chapter 42

Chapter 41 5 symbols Mirror Water bottle Pendulum Spiral on rectangle Beaded chain

Chapter 40 Divination focuses on 4 qualities of God. They are 1. Truth and honesty ..... Mirror 2. Wisdom. Pendulum 3.Righteousness. . A spiral on a rectangle. Conscience 4. Love... A rosary bead or just a beaded chain or necklace string of beads. Scroll this string between the fingers as you chant to yourself that God loves you are cares about you.

Chapter 39 Empathy represents growth and love. Care. Psychopathy represents greed. Sociopathy represents sadism. Where do we invoke God Traditionally, the seven Christian virtues or heavenly virtues combine the four classical cardinal virtues ofprudence, justice, temperance andcourage (or fortitude) with the three theological virtues of faith, hope andcharity. We invoke God in hope, silence, faith, courage, love, peace, goodness, empathy, kindness and positivity and wisdom. So the cultivation of following qualities are necessary to feel the presence of God or invoke God or he closer to God apart from practices of prayer, meditation, reflection, and divination. The qualities are - Silence Faith Hope Charity or generosity Empathy Kindness and mercy Forgiveness Peace Goodness and abundance Grace humility and acceptance Courage Love Wisdom Gratitude Positivity Therefore people who show these qualities or traits or emotions in them appear more deep or spiritual because through these qualities they constantly experience closeness to God. These are not enough. The regular practices of prayer and inner self connection are equally important. Special mention of the word grace. What it means to have grace? It means going beyond your inclinations of trying to get the upper hand or revenge on someone who hurt you. Having grace in your heart and soul is choosing to be the bigger person. It does not mean forgiveness but acceptance that someone is choosing to do wrong but you will not choose to do wrong. You will stick to your decency even if the other did bad. You will be humble and carry on and accept defeat because it's better to accept defeat than take revenge. The other meaning of grace is to live in simplicity and humility and by God's will. Not considering yourself to be all powerful but rather surrendering to God's power and living in his favor, living in his grace and relying or trusting that God will take care of your needs and you will be provided for by his grace or favor. The difference between trust, faith and hope. Trust is built over time and exists because the past record has helped develop trust and so there is no room for doubt. Trust is broken only when there is deception. Trust is with a specific person or relationship. Trust is not blind and comes with logical reasoning and questioning when troubled with doubt. So trust is built through realization and rationality. You trust because you saw. You trust because you know. You trust because it has always been this way. So it's rational to believe that it will always be this way. Faith is blind. It is not based on logic or rationality. You believe without proof of a previous record or evidence. You don't need anything to believe. You have a firm belief that it is always good and that your faith will never be contradicted or shattered. You do not challenge your faith, you simply believe wholeheartedly. Faith is for both the present and the future. Despite dissatisfaction and disappointment faith holds on and hangs on. The disappointment is a test of faith itself. It is supposed that faith wins in the end. It's a quality that has to endure over time to prove that having faith was worth it. Faith breaks in exceptional circumstances when there is continual defeat of hope or only when something happens that is extremely contradictory or unbelievable. Hope is for the future. This is anticipation that things will be good. It is not based on trust but based in faith. It is based on the premise that the outcome wil be good if you hope for a good outcome. However it does not mean that bad things won't happen. It only means to have a positive outlook even in the face of uncertainty. It's like having a positive attitude is better than a negative attitude.

Chapter 38 Where do you see and find God. God is found in deepest darkest most silent moments. Most serious most aware. The words or phrase in weakness you find strength makes a lot of sense. In weakness, you try to find strength. You find this strength through God. That's where you find God. In darkness you try to bring light. That's where you find God. It seems like those who suffer more are closer to God. Because in suffering the soul craves or yearns for freedom. That's when it wants to come closer to God because being close to God symbolizes freedom.

Chapter 37 Both sociopathic and psychopathic tendencies are present in varying degrees in every person. You have to look for traits which indicate both sociopathic and psychopathic tendencies in every person you observe. Key elements to observe include Body language and facial expressions Words spoken or written. The meaning of the sentences. What is implied shows the thought process of the person. It's like a decoding technique. People who show lower scores on both sociopath and psychopathy are less of a threat. People who show higher scores are going to hurt directly or indirectly.

Chapter 36 mentalism project. Power of belief or placebo Power of intention Power of law of attraction Power of intention Power of mental state Power of suggestion Power of connection to inner self Power of loving care Oxygen, water and iron required for cells.

Ch. Three focus points Divination and mentalism and inner relationship with God

Chapter 35 Divination process Divination guidance box and divination Rituals. Connect with the voice of the conscience. Write down what it says. This tells you about righteousness. Connect with the wisdom of God/sol. Write what this wisdom guides to do. Move the pendulum to get divination wisdom. Talk to the scrying mirror. What truth does it reveal about you. This will need shadow work. Water bottle. What negative impulses tempt you now. Keep the notes in the divination guidance box.