traveler

What are some steps I can take to improve my life?

.

This could might aswell have been my words, I have went through the exact same.

Seems like the desire is for this to be known, the desire for the knowing that YOU have reached the end goal of your own disappearance. That YOU have opened yourself up to peace, happiness and unconditional love... Let go of that and there's just what is, whole already. "Problem" is there is no free will, no one to let go, which seems to be the trap for the individual.

Seems like you really resist this message. If you dont judge the message from a standpoint in separation, is the message then really coming from a "guy" who doesn't have an idea what he is talking about? When we find ourselves judging others we can seemingly always find the things we judge others for in ourselves. Try doing thework by Byron Katie on Vegan, I promise you an awakening to more love and openness ? only a suggestion. Let me know how it goes. Go to TheWork.com - then download the worksheet.

Lol that's on point.

I'm curious what Tony said about this phenomenon of apparently going in and out of self and nothing. The individual is apparently a loop of seeking energy that traps itself within itself. Every move to get out of the loop is fuelling the loop. The falling away of the individual has nothing to do with the individual itself, as it is the falling away of it DUH lol. Because of that it seems as if the experience of that energy never happened. The individual then apparently pops up again/nothing attaches itself to a position and tries to understand what just happened, and round and round we go again. This is what is happening here. There's an intense amount of egoic energy seemingly attacking itself, then a release of it into unknowing, then the return of the egoic energy, and this just goes on. There is no real problem, obviously, this just seems to be a pattern.

Can't imagine Tony phrasing it like this. I do like this guys videos though.

The resistance, contraction, frustration comes from trying to know what this is. When you are deep in thought loops trying to catch the "now" the "answer" is 180 degress in the other direction. The "problem" comes from trying to know what this is, which paradoxically makes you ungrounded and insecure. The resistance you feel when you try to "unknow" this is coming from a knowing energy trying to unknow this to the point that it knows it even more. It is a loop of knowing and it is unfulfilling because the reality is that this can not be known. It is already not known. The answer lies within the "resistance of trying to make this real and solid" itself.

Yes. The ego is a constant state of unsatisfactoriness and uneasiness. Child like wonder is the natural state, open and one. Simultaneously nowhere and everywhere, nothing and everything. No location, always home. Paradoxically grounded. There is apparently methods that can help the mind untangle from itself. As I said, byron Katie has a great worksheet for this. Might seem counterintuitive as if it is fuelling the dream, but no, it's a tool to recognize how futile the story actually is.

I love this message. One thing though: I feel that this message can disconnect you with love, compassion and truth for that matter. The ego picks up conditioning from every "teaching" and then uses it as a way of avoiding awakening. The "relative" can be disregarded and "no free will" can make you uncaring and unmotivated. What I'm getting at is that this is it, BUT there is an apparent continuous dropping away of conditioning that makes it feel and look like there is progress. You can easily bypass working on blind unconscious patterns if you misinterpret the message Vegan speaks. This happened here for quite a while. There's nothing "wrong" with not working on these things, but the message can seemingly dismiss every form of free will and "doing" making one passive and unbothered, even though the "experience" is calling for action and inspection, apparently. One thing I really recommend to everyone on this forum is trying out TheWork by Byron Katie. This can shed light on the stories you're believing about others. Stories that creates a duality between you and that person. It shows you that your judgement about others applies just as much if not more to yourself. It opens you up to greater love and compassion and frees you from destructive beliefs. It is very effective. Look at her website for the worksheet, TheWork.com.

Pure wisdom ❤?

Thanks for making this bro. I've been doing it once in a while, but never 3 rounds and never routinely. I did it this morning and holy shit I feel so much better. It cleared out my sinuses, I have chronic blockage. It put me in a much more clear and "fresh" headspace. My body feels amazing. I did not do the cold shower tho. I got to ease myself into those. It's the absolute last thing I want to do in the morning, but I know you feel great afterwards.

Absolutely beautiful. Really resonated with your experience, it reminds me of when god showed himself to me. The infinite tug of war between resistance and surrender but residing in absolute love untouched by it but still fully experiencing the horror and beauty of it. The "fall from grace" only to realise that the finite is a gift. The absolute/finite speaking at the same time.

With God-consciousness it is seen that there are no others. Everything is god. You can not escape god. Therefore there are no other people who haven't realized God-consciousness. Apparently there is, but with a closer look, it's just you/nothing saying stuff that has no meaning whatsoever. It's just appearing, for no one. You're still projecting lack. You're still projecting a story onto your experience. Sure you have had that experience, probably way deeper than here, but high experiences always come with a low, which is the mind typically creates a very strong belief/story around it. With all of your apparent psychedelic use, I find it impossible for you not to be full of unconscious egoic beliefs. Why? Because "I've" seen "God", and the spiritual search and ego was tenfolded when ego showed up again, and that was full immersion on WEED.

It's all fun and games until you actually experience what death means. You find out that you're literally all alone, there's no hope for help because there is nobody to help you, everything you grasp on to is you. "I've" been there many times. It can get real scary I feel ya. There comes an invitation or an opportunity in these moments though, it seems. Your egoic patterns and limiting beliefs are often much more clear in these states. You can see the games being unconsciously played much more clearly and how you limit yourself; create your own suffering. One thing that also gets real clear, (what the whole universe is literally screaming at you) is that this is it. Whatever is, is what is. The whole story of who you are as a separate individual covers this over and creates the experience that there is a problem here. That this isn't it. Why isn't this it? Because it doesn't feel like this is it. What's happening now is not what is supposed to happen... The individual always looks for a better experience a more "whole" experience, which in itself creates the experience that this isn't whole and complete already. I sincerely hope that you find the peace that you are looking for, my friend <3

Enlightenment isn't real. You will never achieve enlightenment. Enlightenment is not a state you can reach. If it was it wouldnt be full liberation, because states come and go. Everytime you believe in one of your stories about how you are on a path and how things will help you achieve the ultimate goal, you are on an endless road with no end in sight. How are you going to focus hard enough to become what you already are? You believe there is another "state' than this. You believe that there will come a moment where you break through the veil you so believe you are trapped behind. You believe there is something better than this and simultaneously you believe that this isn't good enough. What if the veil you feel is what is? What if this is good enough just as it is whatever is happening? What if there wasn't such a thing as other people less or more enlightened than you? What if the seeking is the game itself? What are you seeking?

Haha, I dont know about that.? Thank you though. One more thing: find something you love to do, a hobby that allows you to express yourself creatively. I make beats and I absolutely love it. Got lots of time to do it now because of the whole Corona virus thing.

These rude awakenings are literally hell, but as you say opens me up to the reality that I and so many others are resisting on a daily basis. One insight I had was that the "baseline consciousness" in people are often filled with fear and uncomfortability with the unknown. People would rather stay in the known and be unhappy, than step into the unknown and feel the freshness of what is. My mom's first reaction when I came home (I didn't know they were still awake at this time, so I was totally unprepared and way to out of myself to act normal) was "Go away, I don't want you to be here when you're like this" and I saw things for what they were and said "Why? Are you afraid?" This is not my normal response and is totally against the rules of the games we play normally and I could feel how she actually got afraid that I was pointing out the open secret. I realized that was very uncompassionate. The human games are seemingly the absolute hardest challenge on this pathless path.

So I just smoked weed again, I haven't smoked in a while. Every time I smoke I'm attended with a rude awakening. Everything falling apart especially in my relationships, my "I'm an ego" facade gets torn apart, while there's still something left there to try and act as if there is a story outside of me going on. It's literally hell. It's a total cut off from other people, no sight of realness anymore. This from the ego's perspective seems like a phase some have to go through to shed the ego. There's a sense that It's right here, but also juuust a little bit over there. Like this energy all over the body saying this is important, there something I haven't found, I have to change something about this, I have to get rid of myself, THEN I'LL be one with everything. LOL. It's funny, but very much not so for the experiencer that energy seemingly is attached to.

I don't really know actually. Seems like there's not much one can do to shed these unwanted emotions. Just have to wait it out, let it run it's course. There's of course things that could be done to help these emotions, such as cold showers, nofap, exercising, eating healthy, getting out of your comfort zone. These things are great, but it all comes down to if your going to do it or not, the normal thing for someone with depression or anxiety to do is probably not to do much about it because of the low self worth and lack of motivation. Hence let it run it's course and do what you can to make yourself feel better. ❤ I am by no means the right person to get advice for these kind of things, I'm not doing great in terms of friendships, family and work. There's less resistance to negative stuff now than there was before, I'm not depressed because I have absolutely no idea of what is going on so I can't create long stories about why these things are happening to ME anymore. Whatever is happening is what is happening.

I like that, "resting in paradox." In my experience there is absolutely nothing one can do to reach the fulfillment one believes there is on the other side of resistance, the resistance is what is and it's very nature is to feel contracted and uncomfortable. The paradox is then that there is absolutely no direction for one to take, no one has a say in what's happening, one naturally tries to surrender to the resistance but realizes that this effort is the resistance itself, then one tries to stop surrendering to the resistance but creates resistance out of that effort. Infinite resistance. The realization can then be that resistance is all there is, which simultaneously means there is no resistance at all, as there is no one outside of that resistance to judge it.