traveler

@astrokeen I did not write that, it came out of nothing. I don't understand it either. I don't want to label or act like I know what is going on at all. The barrier between a psychotic breakdown and a mystical experience is hard to differentiate. What is happening is simply what is, if there are stories about psychotic episodes and mystical experiences that is also what is. What I'm pointing to is the immediacy of what is. Definitely seems like OP needs a cool off period.

The dangers of a glimpse is that you think that it is important and meaningful. When the fireworks and bliss dissipates you face plant into the ground. A fall from grace it can feel like. Now there is actual hope for the person, and dispair tenfolded. You've seen the possibility of infinite orgasm, so now you want it, you want to own it and know it, have it for yourself. You don't jump into the lake, you are the lake appearing as a seperate you that is too afraid to jump into the lake. What the fuck are "you" supposed to do? You're not real, you are an illusion thinking it can do something to get rid of itself. What can an illusion do other than bask in it's own illusion? "I'm am a real something that has to do something to get nothing, when I get nothing I will let you know" derp.

There is no path for you to choose. A path assumes a beginning that you can choose and an end goal which is enlightenment. That is total bullshit, it is a story. It is a dream of fullfilment in a future event, a dream of an insight that will destroy you forever. You will never find this. It is too close to find, it is already everything. Look at anything in your surroundings, just use the phone screen or computer screen. You're expecting something else, you are subtlely looking for something else than the obviousness of what is. You expect enlightenement to be a big event for "you", a real shift where you can finally say "I am enlightened." that is a dream. You want to know what this is but you can't, it is unsatisfactory so you look closer, you expect something to suddenly click and then you'll get it, but that click will never come because you are looking for "something" in "nothing." This is totally empty and unknowable, it already is what it is. When "you" fall away nothing actually changes, because "you" were a total illusion. This is the opposite of what the person wants.

The unraveling of the ego can be incredibly disorienting and terrifying. It seems as if the energy in the beginning chaotically expands into deeper and deeper levels of the story. The story is infinite, it can go infinitely deep. This period is a though time, it feels as if there is meaning to all of this suffering you are going through, there must be right? You will fail to find any meaning and achieve total fullfilment until the ego some day is completely trapped. I can say that it is hopeless now, it really is, but you won't be able to understand that until you do. When you are totally hopeless, when you have finally understood by looking for infinity, that there is nothing to get, no escape, then there can be a realization that this is it. This is it already, there is actually no purpose to this at all, it is whole beyond words by being just what it is. It is simply this. All of what was just said is a story, it is not real, there is no meaning in these words at all.

Check out ashwagandha maybe. I've tried it but it didn't do anything for me, maybe it will for you. To reply to your assumptions: There is no here and now, there is only now. Not a now AND a past and a future. Only now. Now is not a state of consciousness, now is just what is. Every attempt to get closer to now moves you farther away from "it". This is because a movement towards it comes from an illusory point of view that is seperate from everything/now. There is only ever this, you can not move closer to it and you can't move farther away, it is just what is. Anyone who proclaims that they know what this is, are still in the dream. This is nothing being this, it's ordinary and whole. You don't exist.

<3

Yes, it is absolutely impossible and at the same time the only "thing" possible. Boundless perfection. Everything roars with impossible Love. There is a strong urge to talk about it, but every attempt to do so moves away from the total unknowabilty of it. You can not own this, you can not know this, it is freedom.

The ego can not understand awakening. It only has one choice which is to make it a part of it's dream. Awakening is awakening to the realization that the individual was never real. The individual can not do that, because it does not exist. It is an afterthought, an illusion that takes credit for everything. Everything you look at is overlayed with ownership and relationship. It is not real. This is it already, but the individual will never know that.

Haha, it is understood. It is indescribable when Love's infinite complexity reveals itself, so what you wrote is as close as anything gets. It is always fresh and whole, it moves, it hides, it remembers. It is always this, and it is not limited to that. Might be the most important insight. The insight that ends it all.

There is no god. You are God appearing as a person with a real life. This doesn't recognize you because you are literally infinite Love appearing as this. There is an energy of escaping. You wan't to get away and lose the seperation. This energy is what creates your suffering. Realize that the energy is what it is, and you'll recognize that it is all there is. It has no opposite and can therefore not create suffering anymore. The suffering comes from a misunderstanding. It is a dream of something else, a preference with meaning attached. You are trying to escape infinite Love and you get the experience of being seperate from it, but you can never actually be seperate from infinite Love because it is what you are. That is how EVIL God is.

Holy shit, I gave up reading this after 10 min. Let's sum it up: GOD GOD GOD GOD GOD, LOVE, GOD GOD GOD GOD GOD.

How could this be "evil"? There is not two. You be the judge if it is evil or not, it can only be evil from "your" standpoint.

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Yea, it's God damn amazing and impossible, but it is the only way this could be. Similarly I looked around at work looking at things and recognised the utter incomprehensible complexity of everything in sight. It is infinitely complex, but at the same time very ordinary. There are infinite stories, infinite adventures, infinite depth, but it is absolutely free to be just what it is. Because it is what it is, it could not be any other way, you can not escape Love. People searching for this are just Love appearing as a character looking for Love. They cant find it because Love has forgotten Love in that particular adventure. It is always whole no matter what appearance Love takes.

By trying to find heaven you declare that it is not here. Heaven is all there is, trying to find it is hell, because you can't.

A full letting go is out of your control. It might feel like you are in control of satori, but you can recognize that satori is this already and that the energy of wanting to have it, know it, control it, seek it, is what creates a sense of seperation and hides it. This is it already, God (this) can appear as a seperate person writing or reading this, from the persons point of view it is personal and meaningful, but really it's always just God (this) appearing as whatever is appearing. It is impersonal, and the biggest mind fuck is that this isn't actually happening, the person in control is a complete illusion, it was never there.

???

This is it.

There is Nothing for "you" to do. This is free to be what it is. It is always whole, fully pregnant with itself.

I've seen both parts. They're great!

I'm closing up on 0,70% though, looking to get to that 1% in a couple of months time. Just got to grind and work hard, meditation and extreme focus. That is my plan! ?

Love you too brother. No way, I'm happy I now know that ad exists!

Lmao gotta love a good Dad joke! ?