tsuki

Daaw, it just wanted me to hug myself lol. Who designed this shit? Where is the instruction manual?

I want the little lovely shit to come to me and say: "daddy, please take care of me" instead of throwing plates at the floor for fuck's sake.

What do you do with a little shit that throws tantrums solely for the sake of getting your attention? You give him attention regularly when he's not throwing tantrums, right? But what do you do right now, to get him to stop? If I start to calm him down, then that's giving attention and it just tells him that it's the way to do it.

The only thing I want right now is for this feeling to stop. This is my sole desire, to enjoy the rest of the evening without a 3 year old running rampant in my heart. All it wants is attention and is getting all of it from me.

How do I let it out?

I'm scared it's gonna stay that way . It's not gonna stay that way, right?

Oh my god, make it stop! Needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy needy NEEDY!

Spiral dynamics is a hierarchy, while MBTI is not. They are fundamentally different. SD is an ordered structure that is showing the challenges that individuals need to overcome to grow. MBTI on the other hand aims to expose the underlying mechanism that gives rise to various personalities. It does not order those personalities into better or worse, higher or lower. They all come with pros and cons and are carefully balanced. It is similar to Enneagram in this respect, but enneagram talks more about how we cope with suffering.

On MBTI and Jungian typology Jungian typology is a cognitive theory that attempts to dissect experience into parts and show how these parts interact to form the basis on which the personality is forming. This theory is not scientifically verifiable because it does not make behavioral predictions. It is purposefully vague and its application is intuitive. MBTI is the attempt to make Jungian typology into something that is scientifically verifiable. It makes behavioral claims and attempts to infer a person's type from automatic tests. There have been many controversies about MBTI and it has been generally considered unreliable in determining a person's type.

This one is also very interesting for me. I have some insights on it and I will get to it eventually.

For me, personally, understanding of the psychological self came first and shadow work second. The former is the set of observation skills that let you notice the workings of the psychological self while they are occurring. The latter is about solving the core problems that make the psychological self do things in the first place. These two interlock because without observation you are trying to solve problems you cannot see and you have no material to work with. Without shadow work, you are perpetually struck in correcting yourself from meta-perspective and basically developing a new psychological self on a higher level. It is said that your relationship with your mother and with your father form the basis for your relationships with women and men respectively. They are something of a template, archetype, through which you perceive other people. You bring this to the table when you interact with them, so to speak. These archetypes are called Anima (feminine) and Animus (masculine) and I think that you could benefit from learning about them. Apart from that, looking into the overall narrative of your intimate relationships could cast some light on what could be done to minimize the pain. As cruel as this may sound, unless you own the responsibility to develop your psychology - you may be attracted to partners that will hurt you. This mechanism should not be viewed as self-loathing or sabotage of any sort, but your intuition being desperate to communicate the need to heal and providing you with means to self-reflect.

@Shin That's the attitude. Dark souls is life. You don't play it to enjoy progress, but to get your shit wrecked.

@Shin Git gud. I don't even remember how many tries that little fuck took me. All I know that I threw a controller when I was fighting Pontiff Sulyhvan.

@jbram2002 Yes, Mr officer. I'll be good to my spouse from now on .

Oh yeah, fighting with your husband for his own good is the best excuse I've heard. Now it even has a spiritual twist - shadow work.

You know, there is a reason why shadow work works best with people you can't punch in the face .

I've been contemplating this stuff for quite some time now and this model can be distilled down to the following metaphor: If experience is a movie, then: sensations are the camerawork, thoughts are the script, feelings are the scenography and intuition is the editing.

Intuition is something of an eye into "your" subconscious world. It is not exactly yours because there are non-personal aspects to it, but the bottom line is that there is much, much, much more to your unconscious than to your conscious mind. What you think, feel and see is just a tiny speck of what is actually going on and those things are not apart from your intuition, they are interwoven with it. If you conscious experience is a movie, then sensations are the cameraman, thoughts are the scriptwriter, feelings are the scenographer and intuition is the editor. Intuition works through other parts of experience to convey its message and it is never explicitly stated until you start to interpret it. If you find yourself to be distrustful towards it, then it probably means that you haven't developed it and you don't know how to read its messages. The process of learning this is, funnily enough, the process of healing your subconscious traumas. An undeveloped intuition will get you to do all the wrong stuff until you self reflect and connect to the parts of yourself that you reject. It may be the case that following it here will bring you enormous amounts of suffering, but it will also be a great opportunity for growth. When it comes to your long-term goals, there is a very important aspect in it of how those plans actually mesh with who you are subconsciously. The plan may be great and very well reasoned, but it will only succeed if you are able to follow it without painstaking discipline and effort. Your intuition can tell you that and this is why you need to let it speak to you to get the full picture.

And how exactly would you distinguish the former from the latter? You seem aware enough to know that you probably wouldn't recognize the truth if you stumbled upon it. If this place is really just an arena for mental masturbation, then finding a way to genuinely contribute (apart from meta discussions) seems like a good challenge to genuinely grow. Aren't the worst places in the biggest need of help?

Intuition is not a thought, not a feeling and not a sensation. Its domain is gluing together of thoughts, feelings and sensations into experience. It is the interface between the conscious and subconscious mind and it works through meaningful coincidences. It is knowledge without the possibility to explain its origin. In order to develop your intuition - stop treating thoughts or feelings as your compass and go with the flow of life and see where it guides you.

I've been contemplating my recent essays in Sacred Space and it's scary to continue them, to draw more conclusions and go deeper. I think that this fear is rooted in the possibility that I will end up empty-handed again. My reason for stalling is that I can see the INTJ staring back at me from those writings. There is a hint of universality in it, but it takes a lot of distillation and care to observe it. I've been pondering about the nature of introverted intuition a lot lately, mainly to understand other cognitive functions. I can see the distinction between thinking and feeling and turn introversion into extraversion here pretty well. The difference between intuition and sensing and the attitude towards them are still a mystery to me. For an INTJ, preception axis is greatly polarized where introverted intuition (Ni) is dwarfing extraverted sensing (Se). In order to squeeze myself into extraverted intuition and introverted sensing I would have to flip my attitude towards these functions and it is surprisingly difficult. Intuition is the most subtle of all cognitive functions, even more so when it is introverted. On top of that, it is my primary function and it is something that is supposedly so heavily used and natural that it feels like breathing. I began to observe its workings only recently, just a few years ago. https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Jungian_cognitive_functions#/Intuition https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Intuition

Fish don't invent water and humans don't create understanding. You are exactly as original as the present moment.

The first thought that came to mind: suffering.