tsuki

Yes.

I am telling you to listen to your feelings, to your body, about the matter. Your body is telling you that you are in conflict and I'm telling you that you will most definitely not get out of it by picking sides. Look into this matter, investigate what you promise to yourself that you will get out of "knowing reality". Then, investigate illusion and ask yourself whether or not "the prize" it is present there.

What feels creepy is a thought "I don't know" in the presence of belief that you should. You are under the impression that reality is somehow better than illusion and that knowing it will somehow make you more noble. All of this kind of thinking is false. Neither will knowing reality, nor living in illusion make you more noble. What you want is to resolve the conflict between the two, but resolution does not lie in more thinking. Thinking and speaking is for communication, not for knowing. Feeling is for knowing, just like you know already that you are in conflict. Do you want to feel good?

Hmm, that would be: why distinguish reality from illusion in the first place? These are charged concepts that create duality for the sole purpose of fragmenting your awareness.

I've been giving this some thought recently, and investigating into the nature of the dream. Your, so-called "waking state" is a glorified state which seems more real, simply for the purpose of creating duality between rest and non-rest. This duality is used to mistify your sleep and to create a sacred ritual which covers up the true gifts sleep brings. Then, these gifts, are what you promise to deliver yourself if you stay wakeful and alert. In my particular case, I was promising to myself that I am working to attain freedom and safety. Of course, there is nothing more freeing and safe than the dream you are experiencing during the night, because even if you have night terrors, then the worst that can happen is to wake you up, or you fall into deep sleep. Coincidentally, this is exactly what happens to you during the so-called "wakeful state", but it is all covered up by the "sacred ritual" of going to bed early.

@Derek White It all depends on your energy. If you are a mature masculine man, then making your woman feel good will turn you on and will be a pleasure in of itself. Think about it. Why wouldn't it? How could relationships ever work out if it weren't possible to like making other person feel good? This is not the same as being in a relationship as a sole source for the other's happiness. This could never work out. I'm using "mature masculine man" as a technical term and not a moral judgement. It is perfectly fine to be a feminine man, or in the process of learning. In fact, I think that it is absolutely crucial for a man to get in touch with his femininity.

@Vision When you are under the influence of false beliefs, and reality does not meet your expectations, then you want to change reality so that its nature is different. This means that you are actively working to make things worse. This is how culture, or collective ego, was created and its intent is to actualize false beliefs. Its nature is inherently in opposition to what is real, or good. Actualization of false beliefs is ego's terminal goals, but there also exist convergent instrumental goals, such as self-preservation, self-improvement (amassing power), conflict and cooperation. These are the characteristics of what we conventionally call ego in western culture, but these are not its defining traits. The definition of ego is the intent to actualize false beliefs, or in other words, ignorance. Inheritance of false beliefs is a part of the self-preservation agenda. One of such false beliefs is the notion that you are an entity that is separate from its environment, that this environment is hostile and that you cannot rely upon anything other than your intellect. This set of host beliefs create the illusion of the small man living under your skin that has to be protected with deliberate thought. Mind you, that 'ego', or 'collective ego' are not 'somethings', that you can grasp, smash, or otherwise fight. Ego is what you do when you react to your false beliefs. Collective ego is culture, which exists as institutions whose purpose is to spread ignorance. Not all of your beliefs are false and not all institutions are collective ego. True beliefs, however, are like dead mind tissue that obstruct what is apparent, and serve no useful purpose. This is the method by which the collective ego twists and turns honest expressions of truth. It does so by teaching it without practical application, as a theoretical concept, thus making real knowledge beliefs that are up for misinterpretation. Other than that, there is a false belief in that our nature is inherently flawed and that we have to develop abstract virtues of character. This only gives rise to pride and comparison, which in turn create hierarchical order within society.

Read Meditations on the Tarot: A Journey into Christian Hermeticism if you're interested in Christian mysticism.

Yes, that is because you try to manipulate your experience to illicit some effect. That will never lead you to the truth of the matter. The experience of 'human stuff' is an assumption that you have about what you are. This is a deep rooted assumption reinforced by culture every step of the way. It seems that you don't know a lot of stuff about the world, or that the world is full of contradictions, but that is merely your own conflicting, contradicting and untrue beliefs. Only by inspecting them, seeing what they are, that they cover up, or otherwise deny what is true, you will see the truth. As for the method of inspection of beliefs, observe how you feel. Feelings are the connection to your true nature and you will feel whether a thought is true, or not. Some thoughts, are so deeply rooted that you think them to be true, you think that you are supposed to feel this way. This is the feeling of "human stuff" you are doing. You are not supposed to add beliefs that would make it seem as if reality is connected. This is the original feeling of "I", being whole so much that there is no difference between you and the world.

@LSD-Rumi Karma is your actions biting you in the ass. Then, you don't recognize this, get angry with the world, and try to fix the world, which further reinforces the notion that your will is free. Acting in reaction to false beliefs will never create harmony, because they oppose the natural order which is already present. This seeming opposition of the world is resistance that you experience and take to be the little man inside. It does not go any further than this.

@LSD-Rumi You have it ass-backwards. It is the narrative of free will that spawns the narrative of limitation. The belief in free will goes basically like this: You are a small man living inside of your head. This small man has ideas about the world that are not caused by anything else. This is why the small man's will is called free, because it acts without any strings attached to him, his thoughts are uncaused. Now, since the small man cannot do whatever his free will dictates, he says that he is limited. What I am saying is that there is no small man inside, and that his will is not free. Everything that happens in your experience is caused by something. You developed the belief in a small man to cover up your lack of self-understanding. Then, you invented limitation to cover up your lies. Then you invented God, as an abstract entity in the transcendental realm that is not up for questioning, to excuse your imagination and delude yourself that this fantasy is perfect. In reality, everything, the whole, infinite, intelligent chain of causation, is God, and it is perfect, but you do not yet realize this, because your don't see deeply enough.

@EntheogenTruthSeeker Contemplate what is culture and what keeps spiritual circles together, as a small society.

Then let me ask your question back to you and do your best to answer it: What does this have to do with free will?

Notice that this is the exact answer Lucifer would give, you sneaky little devil.

@LSD-Rumi Drop the expectations and the truth will be apparent. Good luck otherwise.

That is a belief. What is limitation without the false concept of free will? Will is not the ability to influence reality in accordance with your mental images. Will is understanding. Will is not free, as in a mental image that says that there is a small human within you that controls the body. That image is a false belief. When you truly understand how something works, you act without resistance to it. That is will, and it is not yours, but God's. The Universe does not intervene. It is in perfect harmony with itself, and you are the totality of it.

You are God.

First of all, stop with judgement. You and your family are experiencing whatever is exactly right for you to grow. If you feel that it is difficult, then that is because you do not yet understand how this works, and you are working against the rules that govern your life. Life is way bigger than you currently imagine, while you are convinced that you know how it works. You don't and your suffering is constantly proving it to you. Keep a modest attitude and you will return to harmony eventually.

@Lyubov I would like you to give deep consideration to the possibility that you are not just reacting to a loved one being on a different path, but having a traumatic response to losing a parent. Loving her securely would mean that you would let her go, or go with her, whatever your heart desires. Love is clear, open and connected. What you have here is a lot of thoughts, confusion, and fragmentation. I cannot tell you what is right for you, but I can give you some suggestions where to proceed. First of all, the Universe does not give you lessons you cannot handle. Please do not act out of fear, jealousy, or immaturity. Perspective is essential. Imagine you would die tomorrow. Would you regret staying here, or coming with her? You are going to die Lyubov. What kind of life do you wanna live? What is the best thing for you to do?

Survival is not the same as persistence. Survival is persietence in a hostile environment while being ill-equipped for the task. That is a false belief, when concluded in regards to humans.

False beliefs we inherited from culture.

@Lyubov What is it that you have here that you won't have over there? Why is it a me and my accomplishments vs my romantic happiness situation?

@Leo Gura Have you met your dream girl?

You are under the impression that something is different from nothing. It isn't. This is how nothing 'looks' like. It doesn't matter. We're not in disagreement.

This is not correct. Reality is not a box that contains things. It has no bounds. It "is" nothing. Just nothing.