tsuki

Oh my god, it's so simple. So simple. It's so simple that it's totally outrageous! All it takes is to follow your heart, listen to what feels right and surrender to it! It will cost you your self-concept, the way you think you are, but the payoff is worth it. Good riddance!

I think like the insight you're trying to convey is a personal one. No clue what you're talking about, but I'm glad that you're having fun .

I was under the impression that Sadhguru does not disapprove of psychedelics in themselves, but rather of addiction (reliance on external substances). He is marketing his own method this way, which is supposedly free of such reliance.

All I ever wanted is to feel good, which is identical to being myself AND being truthful? What the actual fuck?! Who would have thought?! It's JUST that?!

I still keep giving authority over what I feel to other people. Why would I ever do that? Why would I ever look for someone else's approval if I can approve of myself? I can't understand this, why would it be this way, why would I habitually choose to give my freedom away? There is absolutely no benefit to it, it's not like even other people can appreciate it when I give them power over me! All I do when I give myself away is to piss myself off. This is so unbelievably stupid! This realization is so freeing, so beautiful. I feel like I don't need anything anymore.

@mandyjw I guess that when the ox is finally tamed and driven back home, there is no difference between ego and awareness. For now, it feels so much better to feel love, connection and freedom rather than the other end.

Reality has this interesting property that existence is asymmetric. There is light, but darkness is merely the absence of it. There is love, but hate does not exist, it is the lack of love, the distance to it. Then, there is freedom so absolute that you can tie yourself in knots and be constrained. The reverse is not true. You cannot have so much darkness that you will start to see. You cannot hate so much that you start to appreciate the other person. Finally, you cannot be so constrained that you will feel that you are truly free. Maybe he's appreciating that fact within spirituality, that presence and separation lie on the same spectrum? Still, it takes a hell lot of awareness to appreciate the highs and lows of emotional turmoil.

I can't count how many times I cried to this song. Probably well over 50. I was wondering about the vibrational frequency of crying and how sadness and healing are alike in this respect. Sadness is very low on the scale and that does not fit with healing, like AT ALL. That is because healing has the frequency of appreciation, freedom and love. This whole association of sadness and crying is so fucking false that I can't even wrap my head around how this could have gotten any more confused. When I cry, I RELEASE MYSELF from the state I'm in! Anyways, I appreciate @Nahm's help so much. I am so grateful for having emotions, for the inner compass of truth. I am also grateful for this Universe, in which what feels right, is true. I could not have imagined it to be any better. It is truly Heaven on Earth, a place where all wishes are granted.

The real irony is that a hardcore flat earther would look at the sphere and say: See? I told you! It looks like a disk!

Alright, that's quite difficult for me right now. I guess that I don't accept the lower vibrational states right now and I can't be at peace when she's pissed/walled off, etc. Just looking at her when she's like that is difficult sometimes, but at least I'm eager to crack a smile. I noticed that can't even accept my own low vibrations for themselves. I can stomach their existence as means to orient myself in the frequency scale and rise, but I don't enjoy them for their own sake. Maybe if I think of them as signs of healing, perhaps, but even that doesn't work for me. And what if we do our "I" in the vicinity of each other and we interfere with each other's stuff? Do I use that as an opportunity to work with my thoughts on the fly, or do I disengage and do "me" somewhere else? I like that, a lot. "You can't pretend you are responsible for her resonance" is a very good description. So, maybe I should focus on the fact that she's having her own resonance instead of focusing on her misalignment? That does feel better actually, thank you.

Looks like you're resisting your feelings of insecurity. I have that too, can't stand being low on the emotional scale. Supposedly, fear, insecurity, jealousy, hatred and anger are all love, but I don't feel that. I can kind of see that they are simply saying that I'm far away from being myself, so I'm being lovingly guided back to alignment. My lack of acceptance of these emotions seems like trying to be something other than myself I guess, trying to take the steering wheel and become a different person, in accordance with my shoulds. It's like I already want to be there, complete, but not accepting directions from anybody, even myself. You do realize that the difference between the child that is being rewarded and the child that is entitled is entirely of your own making? Not to lecture you on raising your kids, just trying to get back to depriving yourself of contact and throwing it down the trash when you're feeling insecure.

Is this happening right now, or are you imagining things about future? Does this worry help you stay aligned right now, or are you afraid of losing alignment in the future? How does "being aligned in the future" even work? Have you ever been aligned in the future? Notice that when you were projecting full force, you were aligned as fuck, in stark contrast to when you were judging yourself for doing it later. Please write something more about "emotional support". Does it not feel good when she hugs you and tells you that everything is going to be okay? What other support do you need to distract yourself from the self-harm that your mind is doing by judging itself? You seem to want to be completely independent of others, as if others existed in the first place. You are consoling yourself when you ask your mother for consolation, it's YOUR decision to go there! All of that is a thought story. Here's an all-caps for you cause I know you love them: OH LORD, MY GOD, PLEASE LET ME NEVER MAKE A MISTAKE EVER AGAIN BECAUSE MISTAKES ARE OBJECTIVE FACTS AND NOT ME, JUDGING MY PAST SELF FROM A WISER PERSPECTIVE THAT I INHABIT RIGHT NOW. I PROMISE THAT I WILL JUDGE MYSELF FOR THIS FOR WEEKS, SO PLEASE, PLEASE, PRETTY PLEASE PROTECT ME FROM MISTAKES SO THAT I WILL NEVER HAVE TO INFLICT HURT UNTO MYSELF AS A PUNISHMENT EVER AGAIN! I AM HURTING MYSELF RIGHT NOW TO FEEL GOOD LATER AND I'M DOING THIS FOR YOU, GOD, MY LION, MY TRUE SELF, BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. YOU ARE THE ONLY RELATIONSHIP I CAN HAVE, SO I WILL RIP MY HEART OPEN AND GIVE IT TO YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE SOOOOO MERCIFUL THAT YOU WANT ME TO SUFFER. Fuck, I had so much fun writing this, I hope that it shows.

It seems to me like what really doesn't feel good is the self-judgement coming with the thought: and projections themselves are completely innocent and spontaneous. That judging thought is not vibrating with love, but rather - irritation, impatience, or high expectation. It's no wonder it doesn't feel good. Instead of asking "how can I stop projecting onto others?", a better question would be "how to stop projecting expectations onto myself?". Can you see time in that thought?

@mandyjw I acknowledge that you care deeply about your shadows, but have you ever met one outside of your thought stories about how the world/you works? How does the shadow hunt make you feel?

@Gnosis They were! So filling too! Couldn't finish them in one go! @Nahm I have a few more questions for you. I was wondering about the beliefs and the emotional ladder. So far I can see that by working my way up to love, I am changing my beliefs about something that distresses me. Let's take the particular case that I'm working on: my wife has a low mood, gets pissed quite easily in my company but acknowledges that it's "her stuff" and keeps it bottled in to resolve on her own. I obviously don't want to push her to talk, so my only option is to learn to enjoy it somehow . My question is about the method. Should I take the: active approach, where I change the thought story about her mood until the feeling gets higher on the emotional scale, or passive approach, where I change the focus of the story away from her mood until I find something that I love about her (like the way she smiles for example)? Also, I'm wondering about the attraction of frequencies. Let's say that I'm feeling great, joyful, etc, but my wife isn't. I can feel it and it kind of drags me down along with her. Is it possible that we're influencing each other's frequencies by mere presence, or am I making excuses and blaming her within my own perspective? Why is she dragging me down rather than me bringing her up? When I'm responding to her troubles by inviting her to a higher emotional state, she does not take the offer and prefers to stay there. Am I just focusing on her negativity and that's what's keeping her locked in?

I'm just climbing the emotional ladder with respect to my beliefs about my wife's "bad mood". I'm at faith atm and I'm trying to get enthusiastic about it . I just can't work myself up there, I have no thoughts that can help me to build the story lol. Never been enthusiastic about someone's anger before . Any tips?

Mmmm, bean muffins, made by my wife. She's such a good cook when she's riding the rainbow ?♥️.

Dude, that is THE holy fucking grail of emotional work I've been looking for YEARS. Thank you so much! Does it always have to be on paper, or will I be able to just zip right through it on the fly at some point? What I've been doing so far is writing how I feel and observing how that very thought that I'm writing is creating that emotion. It all boils down to judgement, like you've been saying. It is either spatial separation between "me" and "something else" and attributing that emotion to that thing over there, or temporal judgement where this whole situation is wrong and it will be wrong in the future if I don't change. When I see this, the emotion vanishes and I feel peaceful and collected. I was afraid yesterday that my anger will keep me from falling asleep and thanks to you/me, I was able to go to sleep peacefully. Is this what I'm supposed to be doing? I feel amazing, empowered, energeric, so I'm guessing yes. I do appreciate your description and the scale though. I will work on that when I'm lower on the emotional scale (this is a judgement, huh?). It seems like all of these emotions on the scale are actually love, but this love is covered up with thought stories/delusion to create all the other feelings all the way down to fear. Is this description accurate? Let me ask you one more thing, about the attraction thing. So, I attract things that are in line with my own emotional state, "frequency". If I keep being up the scale, all the goodies will just naturally come to me? Is this how paradigm lock works? Not that people are stupid or something, but they are literally influencing reality with their minds, their emotional states, and creating stories about that to prove that they are right? How does LOA work, exactly? Why was I attracted to you (all the way from jealousy to boredom lol)? Am I creating falsehood by using that scale to measure people like that? Am I "explaining" things again?

I am resisting my anger. SO much resistance, so much avoiding, so much manipulation of myself and of my circumstances. It's that simple, just look HOW you create that anger. Write it down and see. Stop thinking, start writing. It all boils down to self/other and past/future.

As I was reading the first paragraph, it stuck me that it is like an instruction manual for inspecting beliefs. So I tried that, asking myself, what's preventing me from loving the cleaning? It is the belief that if I don't hold my wife accountable for her mess, she will keep doing it. On a deeper level, it is the belief that we inhabit the objective space, as bodies, brains etc, and that there is a momentum, tendency, to do things. It's like I assume that we're both asleep, mostly mechanic, and that if I don't "nudge" her in the right direction, she will not change (to my liking <~ that is a judgement). Anyways, something clicked with me and it seems like you're suggesting that feeling is the criterion for validity of thoughts. I don't feel good, then it means that I'm lying to myself and creating my circumstances by reacting to my thoughts. So, I sat with my anger and wrote: Then, I cried for few minutes because I understood the lie. I'm indeed fragmenting myself and judging these fragments, blaming them for "my" misery. When I understood this, thoughts stopped for a few minutes and my anger is gone. I feel good. It's not that thoughts are separate from feelings. If I feel bad, there are thoughts "pending" that are untruthful. Are they the feelings themselves? How does this work? This is what I was resisting. She has used google translate before to read this forum and it does not do a good job translating to Polish. I had to explain it and she rejected it. I stomached it and wrote: I'm not angry because she did something. I'm angry because I created distance between us and judged her and in doing that, judged myself. That is what I'm angry about. I need to stop explaining things. It's counter-productive.

Impatience.

This post was an analysis and it's gone.

@Nahm this description is spot on, even talking only on my behalf and the 100 lbs armor part. I will read on the need to be understood.

@DrewNows So, what would have been the right behavior on your part? Talk with her about your insecurities, about what you think of her occupation? Introspect in private, acknowledge what baggage you bring into the relationship and leave if it's too much to care of at once? @Nahm Please share your thoughts. This is completely mind-boggling for me. There is such a disconnect between what I think of what I'm doing and what the therapist and my wife think of that. It's like I think that I'm doing great, that I'm learning and changing a lot and they're like: nope, you're closeminded and what you're doing has zero effect whatsoever. Then, they're like: ever since we started the therapy, you've been improving until now. What the fuck?