tsuki

I agree. "Spoiled" is a word with a very rich meaning. If a child is treated with no regard for its feelings, it is taught to think that it has no value. In the meantime, the mind learns to refer to itself the way a parent treated it, and if thoughts are believed, the predicament becomes stable. Vulnerability is demonized as 'weak' and treated with disgust, because the parent treated the child this way. It is a form of acquired self-hatred. By disconnecting the person from his/her feelings, you destroy empathy, which in turn is required to see other people's value. This creates the window for violence that is fueled by anger that is never even seen. It is there because there is no concept of boundaries for a person that thinks it has no value. First, the boundaries were destroyed by parents and then, this process was internalized and perpetuated for the whole life. That is why sociopaths are violent. Not just because it pays off, because there is no point in being successful if you think that you're worthless. I'd say that Trump's wealth as a child had a very little effect on him compared to how his father behaved.

Like having your psyche mutilated by him? I also didn't like his reactions to the material. He had a very clear agenda.

Imagine striving for 50 years, accumulating power and success to find peace, and failing because you're unknowingly trying to fill the vacuum your dad left after eviscerating your heart. That's my definition of hell. I feel genuinely sorry for him. I bet that not only is he incapable of feeling that he's been monstrously hurt, but he also is thinking that he's invincible.

"Not being as something" does not imply being unreal. You cannot experience it though.

Time does not exist as something. It is not 'now'. Time is the precondition of temporality, the possibility of past, present and future. In my particular existence as a human, I can only experience the present moment and imagine its consequences or origins.

I recently started appreciating having a place that listens, so I think that I will start posting again. I guess it's time for a new avatar too. The most significant development that happened recently was the fact that I experienced how, exactly, I am bringing the anger from my childhood into the present moment. I don't know the exact configuration of events that trigger me, but I have the general picture about the circumstances in which I have a high chance of snapping. Currently, I'm working on aggression: it's roots as well as its healthy and unhealthy manifestations. I'm reading Jesper Juul's book on aggression, but I can't seem to find its international title to share.

@Onemanwolfpac While I see that being a one man wolf pack is a way to avoid the gender wars, it is a solution only in subjective sense. I believe that the connection with the other gender is worth taking the risk and I hope that one day, if the opportunity presents itself, you will not be afraid to take the shot. I never had a home as a child, so the only one I will ever have is the one I will build. Bless you.

Either the threat is not severe enough, or the political scene is not mature enough to have a conversation about sexuality. I suspect the both are the case. Traditional marriages are dissolving because the way in which we raise children is different. We understand first hand the raising is different from training and that enforcing rules by punishment does more harm than good. However, we don't know the alternative yet and we're very confused about how to express our not-so-desirable emotions, so of course all kinds of relationships suffer. Marriage is particularly difficult because of generational trauma. While it is good that women start to stand up for themselves, men can't see their own involvement in the problem because: they usually think that they are invincible by shutting their emotions off were raised by mothers angry at their husbands with no outlet for that emotion other than a defenseless boy. The first step for healing is to acknowledge the existence of a deep wound that has been perpetuated for generations. The second step is to approach the other gender with empathy instead of insults, anger and shaming.

I absolutely love this channel. Movies are some of the best sources of knowledge if you know how to read them.

This is very interesting. Dan Saks talks about how to connect with people that have used C for years and how to convince them to try C++. This is not a talk about programming languages, but about people, psychology and paradigms.

Consider the possibility that you are pushing yourself too hard and not respecting your own boundaries. As random as it may sound, Shrek is an awesome character to study if you want to learn more about that.

Objective facts exist, but there is nothing objective in how we use them.

If you feel that it's important to you, then it's not stupid. You are ridiculing your feelings. It's perfectly fine to be unsure whether you want to have children or not. It is also fine to avoid committing to a partner that forces you to make this choice prematurely. However, there are two points to consider: The perfect partner does not exist. There ought to be incompatibilities, even huge ones. Still, love is a choice. Once you choose to love a person, it's very difficult to un-love her. Moving on to the next woman may leave you comparing her to the former one. Making choices when you're under the influence of strong emotions is a bad idea. Even if you make the right choice, you may feel unsure afterwards for a very long time and second-guess yourself. Let it cool off.

yep

@WHO IS In the absolute sense, there is no evil. Relative to my feelings though, there is. It exists because freedom is more fundamental than anybody's convenience. Some people bring their unhealed trauma into the present moment and react to it. Sometimes, it's impossible to get through to them. In many cases, it's because everybody is too busy judging the 'perpetrator'. Usually though, it's because nobody is strong enough to love him/her and show them the other way. It's absolutely impossible to force someone to change.

It's the hallmark of enneagram type 6. I'm a type 6 myself. MBTI and enneagram are not behavioral, but cognitive and can't be reliably tested. I suggest typing yourself after you've learned the system as a whole, by inspecting your experience. This is an awesome channel that goes through the enneagram types: https://www.youtube.com/user/LaursenBo/videos And here's one for MBTI: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmDcT_Pujk8vOcxk_IcnxtQ

I do. Can get pretty hairy though.

The very fact that the mathematics is defined as non-contradictory is what makes it a terrible language for this kind of work. The Absolute is the ultimate paradox.The Father of all paradoxes.

Sigh, I guess it's time for playing with my ass .

This is the part I don't fully grasp yet. I mean, I can see how the relative is the absolute, but I can't see how the absolute is the relative. I can see that the relative is how the absolute expresses itself, but I can't draw equality between expression and being. I guess it's my masculine bias.

Didn't intend to sound like I'm invalidating your experience. All I wanted to ask for, is for you to frame it. How is it possible that the relative can influence the absolute? How is it possible for an entity within the relative become conscious of the absolute? If you don't have an answer for these questions, it does not mean that you're wrong, but I would appreciate if you admitted it. It always does and I'm open to the possibility that I'm bringing beliefs to the table.

Because it's relative. There is no "fundamental" level within relativity. Every single relative thing is dependent on some other circumstance. You may alter the chemistry of the brain and it's definitely the basis for how the brain works, but chemistry is dependent on some other thing. That other thing is more "fundamental" in this sense, but it's still contingent, relative. Any chain of dependencies within the relative cannot possibly lead to the absolute. Every finite thing has no separate existence and is grounded in some other finite thing. The relative, as a whole, is infinite because it allows for this chain of infinite dependence, but it is infinite only because it, as a whole, depends on the absolute that does not depend on anything else. The absolute is the primordial infinity within itself. It includes every opposite and does not contradict itself. I remember that you once provided me with a metaphor that individual ego is the prism through which Love shines different colors. I think that this metaphor extends to this instance. We can only know the Absolute because we are it, prior to any happenstance we're identified with within the relative. Hence the idea of moving the human aside. I can see how seeing vast swaths of relativity may help to convince someone that it is infinite and psychedelics can be helpful with that. I don't believe though that it can take you to the Absolute. I'm not an experienced tripper, so these are just my beliefs.

@Verdesbird That's an interesting start for an answer, but it's too short. Care to share some pointers?

It just seems silly to me. There is this question that bugs me: to whom enlightenment happens? Well, obviously it does not happen to the human, but practices are performed by the human. Is the goal of the practices to simply get the human out of the way? To be clear, I also include psychedelics as a practice. Like, how INSANE is this that doing anything in the relative domain would get "me" closer to realizing anything? This simply does not compute in my monkey mind. Just imagine striking a silly pose and I'm instantly enlightened to the nature of the mind. How silly is this? Why any particular thing would get me any closer to self-realization than any other thing?