tsuki

Why would you call it ambition, if it is a desire? Desire is internally derived, ambition is externally derived.

the word itself, its etymology Yeah, go ahead, justify it.

Probably, the most radical idea of mine in the context of this place is that ambition the single most destructive force in the entire universe. It is impossible to spend your time wisely if you're preoccupied by creating things for the sake of looking good in front of others.

You will have to write more of your reasoning because I don't see how it connects at all to what I wrote. Trauma is a record of past events that is stored in the nervous system. A traumatized woman will act differently than a traumatized man because of the differences in their biology. What I said about traumatized men does not apply to traumatized women. I would not expect that traumatized women will avoid having children, like traumatized men. I would expect the opposite: that traumatized women would weave their identity around being a child-bearer. I did not write this before because I have no experience of being a traumatized woman, so it is a pure speculation on my part.

Childhood trauma manifests differently in men and women. That is because men have feminine unconscious, while women have masculine unconscious. This is explored in Jung's works, and shaped in children by the relationship with the parent of the opposite sex. Trauma blocks mens' ability to empathize with themselves and others, while women become dependent and meek. The whole "daddy issues" and "mommy's" boy ridiculing is grounded in it. lol wut? Are men on trial here or something?

@levani Crying is, in my experience, absolutely crucial for emotional balance and well-being. I cry every chance I get. Every spare time I have when alone, I end up crying. At least several times at weekends. Took me a long-ass time to get my crying back and I'm enjoying it. Haven't cried for years prior to that.

I think that I do have better chances of raising high quality kids as well, but I don't feel up for the task for the time being. What I meant to express in the previous post is that the unconscious desire to have kids that is present in both sexes is skewed in men into conscious desire to have sex. I believe that this happens because of generational trauma that makes men escape their hurt into abstract intelligence. This compounds with their natural tendencies to systemize more than women. This is the reason for the seeming irresponsibility of the majority of men. I think that aligning our conscious desires with our unconscious ones is the path to healing. I think that women are much more honest in how they experience parenthood. They know what it's all about from the start and prepare for it deliberately. You're welcome. I enjoy conversations with you. Thanks to your questions I was able to formulate my position more clearly.

I, personally, am scared that a child will learn how I act and reflect all of my shadows right back at me. I'm terrified of growing up this fast. If I fail, I will pass on the generational trauma on. Too tall of an order for me, as I've struggled of getting free of it for my whole adult life. So, if I were to generalize my experience, I'd say it's probably a result of trauma in men. Many of us did not experience a proper childhood and a genuine connection with our fathers, so we don't feel secure in our ability to connect with a child. World wars happened and traumatized the previous generations, so our fathers suppressed their feelings to the point of exclusion, just to make it to the next day, survive without breaking down. In doing so, they alienated boys because they didn't learn that a man feels. Manliness became pure skill with the exclusion of feelings, but underneath all of it, men didn't learn that the suppressed parts of us, rule us. So we transmute our feelings of hurt into aggression or explosion, can't cry, can't express or even name what bothers us. Aggression became part of masculine identity as a rationalization of trauma. Some traumatized women find it hot because of how their fathers treated them. The cycle perpetuates itself through generations because we can't step up and be more conscious. Of course, mothers have their touch in all of this as well. They married an aggressive, emotionally scarred man that controls them because men are so emotionally fragile that can't allow anything that defies their expectations to happen. So resentful mothers raise their sons by instilling the idea of a "divine woman" that shall never be hit, that shall be revered, to protect the next generations. In this, boys are treated like culprits of sins they have never committed and the only escape is into the mind that disassociates. Of course, this fuels their abstract intelligence because they can seemingly "look at the world objectively", without self-bias, never learning the the true self is still there, never even recognized and pissed as fuck. So, the societal pressure to "act manly" deteriorates our unconscious desire into something easy to measure or score, like the amount of times we've got laid. How hot of a women are you able to bang, on the objective scale from 1 to 10? Where are they on the "crazy-hot matrix"? All of this is fueled by our reverence of ambition. We believe that external, objective recognition will make us feel alive, while it is us and our disassociative minds that create this need in the first place. We are more autistic than women and this is both socially and biologically predetermined.

@ivankiss My wife has very little inner monologue and the chemical imbalance that influences her depression manifests as the inner critic. When I inquired into how she thinks, what she does after I ask "how she thinks?", she responded that she's seeing images. Like, literally, images, imagination. This fascinated me to no end.

@Preety_India @Gesundheit You are not seeing forrest for the trees. These wants are similar in having the same effect. Babies. The fact that men stop one step short in their wanting, focusing on orgasm, is of little significance. Unconscious, biological, drives run deep within us, and the fact that we do not consciously recognize their end-goal is by design. These matters are much more important than the whims of our intellect and ego. What we talk about these drives is complete garbage and fantasy for most part. Total delusion. Sure, people fall in love, care for each other, etc. But these BIG processes have little to do with conscious choice. You gotta pay your dues to the body and it will collect them whether you like it or not. The intellect is a tiny speck on top of the biological momentum. It's not in the driver's seat. It is so delusional that it is not even able to see they it's bound in ropes, sitting in the trunk.

You missed the rest of the paragraph that contained the point. The distinction between wanting to have a baby (women) and wanting sex (men) is relatively recent. So saying that men don't want babies is inaccurate because men want sex.

Oh, sorry then ?

@Preety_India Sorry, can't tell whether you agree or disagree. I feel like you just repeated my previous post.

There is also a semantic point to be made here. Distinctions are dual. When we define women as humans with the biology that creates babies, then the other category has to be opposite. When you ask the question "why women want babies?" in this setting, it does not make much sense. In this setting, you cannot be a woman if you don't want babies. It's a matter of identity, on top of biology.

They do want to have babies as much as women do, but this desire is apparent to them as the drive to have sex with hot females. We are only capable of avoiding having babies because we can: foresee the consequences of ejaculation (not at all obvious) have the means to do so (contraceptives, technique, etc). We are able to do this effectively for the past 100 years, maybe. The most sex a man can get is in a relationship. When a woman in a relationship is pregnant, you are both pregnant. Unless you are a sociopath, that is. I don't understand this question. Oh, and sorry for ridiculing you, this was actually fruitful.

Seriously? lol Khe khe Darwin

@mandyjw Thank you, that was helpful.

Wanting to have a baby . She was not doing it for you, you were not there (yet).

Consider the fact that yall moms did not give birth to you for your sake, but out of their selfish agenda.

That's a good one.

Meditation is a skill you build. Psychedelics are substances that take you places. Which is better? This is a trick, context-dependent, question.

Probably bought himself a bike and felt awesome for needing just one spare tire.

Reality is such. It has been, it will be, and it is love, regardless of whether you believe it, or not believe it. Your belief makes no difference for reality, but it makes one hell of a difference to you, especially because you are trying to orient your life in accordance with it. It does not matter that your belief is factually correct. Nothing follows from the statement "everything is love". This statement is so underconstrained that anything can be read out of it. It is an expression of experience that is already gone, and trying to make sense out of it when you don't experience the reality of this belief is a dead end. Now, the truth behind the statement "all is love" can be experienced in various ways, enlightenment, satori, awakening, or whatever, but it is besides the point. It is not your job as a human to become infinite love, by loving everything. Infinite love already is, and "is" precisely because it isn't, it is not-a-thing, it is no-thing, it has no bounds, it is emptiness. It is transcendent of form that exists in it, and it is immanent in its existence. The "you" that you speak of, the one that has likes and dislikes is not supposed to become empty. If you squint hard enough at the core of you, you will see that it is exactly nothing, and yet - it is an unique facet of it. Your job, as an incarnated being is to give expression to this uniqueness, so it is no wonder that you are attracted and repulsed to things. Within this framework of "unique nothing", spirituality exists as a path of shedding beliefs that cloud your apperception so that your uniqueness shines through your actions without obstruction. "Everything is love" is then experienced as surrender, continuously falling, into unknowing and being held in the world's embrace, experiencing its mercy. Shedding of beliefs is synonymous to transcending ego, because the "I" that is held as a belief deteriorates into fantasy of being a human, of being a body, of being a female, male, child, father, employee, etc. It is made of rules and regulations that mimic behavior that already happened and worked, but is devoid of presence, of seeing what is appropriate here and now. On the other end, the capital "I", the I that is experienced and not believed in, is awareness itself, is seeing what is here and being guided by what is appropriate. There is no other way to experience this capital "I", than to include what you feel is appropriate for you, personally. This is the paradox of self-realization, to be something and nothing, simultaneously, without contradiction.

Amazing quote!!!

I appreciate that you posted this because my inner critic decided to wipe his ass with your post and smear it all over my face. Thankfully, I was able to see that and I took no offense in what you wrote.