tsuki

@Shakazulu Damn, I really enjoy when people enjoy my words

One man's reward is another man's curse. One man's failure is another man's lesson. Which one of them do you embody?

@deci belleThank you. Your praise seems important to me. Why do you like what I suggested? I'm working through it and it may be helpful to me (just so that I don't sound like a creep after the first sentence ).

All I can say is this: remember to forget to forget. You are what you forget as much as what you remember. This 'deconstruction method' is simply attention to self-reference in thought. Thought is blind to itself. I think that I write, but really I write that I think that I write. That was also blind to itself. When you get this - there will be a shift.

@Maycol When it comes to books, I can recommend Heidegger's Being and Time and Wittgenstein's Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus. They are dense, but worth it for people with analytical minds that get trapped into solving riddles. You can also look into Derrida and Stoicism in general.

Repeated exposure to reality shattering on me and attentive watching it rebuild itself. I had four major events in life that shred my image of what I even am. You can read about two of them here: I simply always wanted to get to the bottom of things. To know the truth. Then I understood that reality is illusion. Now I'm trying to understand how and produce these posts. If you want to hear more I'll keep answering questions. It's very helpful to me as well to formulate them clearly.

Try not letting this 'brain fog'/'empty head' stop you from talking and doing your things. Try noticing it and carrying on like nothing happened. This is how meditative state announces itself out of meditation sessions. This is effortless meditation. It does not interrupt you from doing stuff. You interrupt yourself when you notice it. Notice it, but keep going so it can 'stick'.

Nothing. Addiction and passion are the same phenomenon from two different perspectives. Let's call this phenomenon drive. When you have a drive to become an entrepreneur, you may strive to meet Elon Musk. Passion is when you want to spend a few hours now and then with him and learn things about making money. Addiction is when you hang around him to feel special and successful. These two are equivalent when you see that you want to learn entrepreneurship to feel special and successful. Passion is a positive descriptor of drive. Addiction is a negative descriptor of drive. You can substitute LSD for Elon Musk, sage for entrepreneur and reality for making money and you will get the same conclusion. @Solace As for the OP: life is a game itself. Your real friends are NPCs. You are the one that make them alive and vibrant, just as you brought videogame characters to life. It is your recognition of them and passion/addiction you embody that create the world. You cannot know a person any better than you can know a videogame character. Everything you know about them is your interpretation. Reality is real because you are addicted/passionate about it. Calling 'real world' reality and 'videogames' illusion is a choice you make to uphold the idea of progress. Just wait and see how their roles reverse at some point. Spending time with videogames and learning about friendship from them is a form of self-medication that lets you protect your childish innocence from abusive/manipulative family members. You couldn't take it, so you took off. That was wise. Do not hate on your past self.

Meditate more. It will come to you over time by itself. You will start noticing how your state outside meditation sessions is similar to meditation. You haven't meditated enough to see it.

@TylerJ Let me walk you through what 'all love' is. Imagine that you fight with your girlfriend. That shit really gets down so much that you throw plates and shit. You learn that she cheated on you and took a 2 week trip to Hawaii with her boyfriend and lied that she went to take care of her mother that has cancer. You really loved her mother and she was always a wonderful person and you were depressed for two weeks and now it turns out that not only she cheated on you, but her lie made you suffer while she was happily whoring herself out! And yeah, she took all the money off your car fund that you saved up for your dream car because she told you that her mother needs it for surgery and she spent it all on the trip! You told yourself: uh oh look how enlightened I am, I don't need this car and my poor peasant unelightened girlfriend needs her mother so of course I will give her money! I am a good enlightened person! You were so stupid and so short-sighted! And guess what? That boyfriend she took off with is your best friend that was supposed to be your best man on the wedding you were planning next year. You love this guy and knew him since childhood and it turns out that he's also fake? What the fuck?! This is what love is. Not the love to your girlfriend, but the love of reality. If you really imagined that, lived that, you saw the face of love. To love reality is to forget that you forgot. You forgot that she is not your girlfriend, but a projection of what you imagined about her. A mental construct. You think that it's impossible to imagine this vividly? To forget that it is just your imagination? Guess what - you forgot that you forgot that this is a text made of letters that are made of pixels of your device. You forgot that you have eyes that need to blink and that you breathe. You do not see love because you love to not see.

Thank you. Like I said: there is no such thing as an 'idea' when you talk. When you talk, you are (the) talking. Ideas arise when one talks about talking, writes about writing and thinks about thinking.

@Shakazulu Make sure to post back. Language was an important path to many of my realizations. @Shakazulu My fiancee also likes to hear about this stuff In small doses, but still I can talk about this for hours.

Can you re-formulate this question? I'm having a hard time understanding it. Ideas are not masked by language. If you think that you need to 'plan' your use of language and its results are ideas to transmit - notice this: When you talk to somebody, you are not aware of the mechanism you use to talk. Your mouth and vocal chords move by themselves. You do not blow your lungs. You do not move your hands to tap your keyboard. They move by themselves. Try to align your mouth and blow your lungs to mimic a sound you make when you say 'vase'. Try to manually tense your muscles to produce a movement that taps letters 'v' 'a' 's' 'e'. It's impossible! You are (the) talking. You are (the) language. Language is hollistic. There is no you that is not language when you express ideas. The same goes the other way around. When you read these sentences, you are not piecing the letters together manually. You are not moving your eyes. You are the text. Everything you make of it is you. It appears out of thin air, just like that. That is the God's creation at work. You literally, physically, create me (@tsuki) out of nothingness. This is why there is no you. Everything you see is you. You are 'out there' not 'trapped inside with your ideas' behind the curtain of language. There is no language!

No. Ideas are not contained in words. You make them up as you read these strings of letters. How did ideas become associated with words? Let's look at an idea of a vase. I know that something is a vase because somebody pointed to this vase and said 'vase'. But how do I know that other objects are vases as well? I encountered different kinds of vases and saw similarities between them. Now somebody may ask: "what is a vase"? I may respond with: A vase is a cylindrical object used to contain water and a plant. But that is not a vase. Vase is this or that. That are words. Problem starts when you think about: What is a cylinder? What is object? What is to use? What is to contain? What is water? What is plant? What the fuck is 'is', 'and', 'or', 'this' and 'that'? To explain an idea you need to understand more ideas. You need to not notice that you don't understand them. Nobody can explain what is 'is'! Not to mention more complex ideas such as 'god'. There is nothing I can point to that is god! Pointing at anything is god. God is a tautology. Yet we talk about gods all the time. We use gods to explain lots of things. Language is literal magic. Nobody can explain this shit, and yet this shit is used to explain!

@Sukhpaal @Leo Gura Is it fair to say that nothingness is like a camera that does not understand the image it captures? Like a video with nobody to watch it? This is what I imagine a trip-induced death to be. An experience so overwhelming that it cannot be named. Returning from that would be a life-changing event.

In my understanding of meditation, it has to necessarily include both, movement of time and timelessness. Breath meditation is learning how breath can be voluntary and involuntary. One does breath meditation when sitting and listening to his breath. One also does breath meditation when working and ignoring it. Meditation from this perspective is seeing how consciousness is unconsciousness. Ones unconscious bowel movements are the same as his unconscious shining of the sun. When one consciously reads this post, he is unconscious of himself reading this post. One can neither meditate, nor not meditate.

I'm glad that we agree

When everything is truly equally meaningful, nothing stands out and everything is meaningless. Meaningfulness = meaninglessness from my perspective.

Only if you believe that there is a possibility of communication with 'others'. Any understanding you read from this post is your own. Anything you ever know about anybody is your projection. There are no ideas in language. You make them up as you piece these words together. I am you.

Your urge for meaning is resulting from finding meaning meaningful. When everything is truly meaningless, having meaning is meaningless as well. Meaningful meaning is meaningless. Meaningless meaninglessness is meaningful. This is not a game of language. This is how your mind works. In order to find peace you need to see how meaning is meaningless.

Dominance and masochism come hand in hand. You can be attracted to being a dominant because you are afraid of your strength to hurt others. Hurting others would be a torture to yourself. You can be attracted to being a masochist because you are afraid to trust others. Submitting to others would be an act of dominance upon yourself. BDSM is a deep topic when you treat it seriously. Don't be too quick to judge your preferences.

Pain and pleasure are the same form perspective of having release. Sex is enjoyable because you can orgasm. Being tired is enjoyable because you can rest. Painful agony is enjoyable because you can die. BDSM is a way of seeing how pleasure and pain can be indistinguishable. Did you explore it?

Tell me how is pain different from pleasure?

Death has been a powerful contemplation tool for thousands of years. Most people fear death and avert their gaze from it. They do not see its valuable lessons. I sometimes wonder what would I do if I was diagnosed with cancer and had two years left. Would I go on living like I do, or would I spend all my money on a bucket list? I like to think that nothing would change and I would go down silently - carrying on like nothing happened. The only difference is that you know your expiry date. The most hilarious thing is that you do not have to hear a doctor's diagnosis to know that you are dying. Taking this simple fact seriously is an incredibly powerful tool for a day-to-day contemplation. Each passing day seems like a gift that way, so is every passer-by. They are all perfect from that perspective. I'm engaged and the ceremony is scheduled for 29th October. Imagining my fiancee's funeral when I stand above her coffin, crying, is the most powerful petty-quarrel stopper. Even her most dreadful sins seem like a gift and a blessing.