tsuki

@kieranperez Okay. Why are you contemplating then?

@kieranperez You are looking for answers. Existentially, satisfying answers are what extinguishes curiosity. Instead of satiating it with thoughts, it's more fruitful to balance it with doubt. You're doing great.

@kieranperez Yes, it gives no satisfaction to a mind that rages with curiosity.

@kieranperez There is no such thing as belief in my experience. There are thoughts about beliefs, but there are no beliefs themselves to be found anywhere. These thoughts form theories of cognition that explain the workings of what we call a mind. They are used to justify coherence of experience, which is ultimately unjustifiable. It is a feeling that appears by pure miracle. Metaphysically, I would say that beliefs are the substance of the mind. If I were to get cheeky, I would say that beliefs are a belief.

@mandyjw Yes, striving for enlightenment as escape from fear is counter-productive. The thing is, that you probably wouldn't have realized that if you haven't cleaned yourself with the said practices. The problem is that until now, you have chased enlightenment because your understanding of it promised benefits. Is it a problem with enlightenment, or is it a problem with your reasoning? Didn't you hear that enlightenment cannot be imagined? You have probably outgrown your model, so it may be a good time to re-evaluate your direction. I think that dropping the practices because of it is throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

We drew a hexagram for my wife. She asked: What should I do with my life? The response was 20. Seeing. The Judgement: The ablution has been made, but not the offering. Full of trust they look up to him. No changing lines. This is not funny at all. If I were to answer her question myself, I wouldn't be able to come up with a better answer. This hexagram deals with looking up to authority for acknowledgement of one's existence. We are both perfectly aware that this is one of her biggest issues in relationships - with me and professionally. Supposedly, it is instilled by the collective ego in childhood as a false belief that a child needs to be seen in order to have its needs met. This is how striving for visibility/fame is born. Out of fear of neglect. This is not funny at all. This shit blurs the line between superstition and transrationality. SHE NEEDED TO HEAR THAT! If I had received this message, it wouldn't fit! It's completely different from what I've received so far. It's also been a difficult test for my translation skills, as I've read this chapter in Polish out loud. I'm getting better at translating things on the fly. This book has very long sentences and unusual words. It's strange that I get the meaning of the sentence without having the full knowledge how each word maps to its Polish equivalent.

Yesterday I asked for hexagram for today and I received 33. Retreating/hiding. Changing line 6. The judgement: Retreating. Success. In what is small, it furthers to be firmly correct. Line 6: Cheerful retreat. Everything serves to further. The hexagram was useful yesterday. We watched Taxi Driver and it proved to be very unsettling emotionally for me. We had a discussion about the movie and it triggered a lot of guilt in me. This guilt is what is referred as 'small' in hexagram. Being firmly correct refers to the inner no. Priming my subconscious mind with hexagrams and the text is very fruitful for deprogramming. We're still struggling with the aftermath of the fight. It was not without an argument, but I followed the Sage's advice given in line 6. It refers to the fact that the Sage retreats for the sole purpose of teaching the person that he is acting from egoic standpoint. Depriving the ego of energy it feeds off is the best strategy to resolve the situation. We were even able to transform this energy to ahem, cardio exercise. My wife had a lot of insights about herself today. She even uttered something about working on her relationship with her father. She admitted to projecting a lot. Fingers crossed. Today, I consulted the sage on a method I'm supposed to use and I received guidance to keep reading all changing lines, but also transform the hexagram and read it as well. So, today I drew: 49. Renewal/Revolution/Ending fate. The judgement: On your own day, you are believed. Supreme success, furthering through perseverance. Remorse disappears. Line 4: Remorse disappears. Men believe him. Changing the form of government brings good fortune. Line 5: The great man changes like tiger. Even before he questions oracle he is believed. Line 6: The Sage makes changes like a panther. Without help, one molts only in the face. To be firm and correct brings good fortune. Hexagram transforms to 22. Grace: The judgement: Grace shows success. It is not favorable to create form for its own sake. Hexagram 49 mostly deals with renewal and its difference from revolution. It is explained in terms of Oracle's cosmology, the former being a Cosmic term, while the other is Collective ego's. The most important fact that I spotted is that Renewal has to do with removal of mistaken beliefs without installing any other in its place. Revolution on the other hand overthrows one egoic system with another. Apparently, it is a sign of ending of fate, which I associate with the banishing of my demon. My wife even asked me to ask the oracle for directions on her behalf. Let's see how this unfolds. The changing lines are an encouragement, but also contain warning. I am believed in by the people, but I am not to believe that I can lead them. I am also to be weary of trying to change them. Lastly, I should be weary of forming self-images with respect to this process. Hexagram 22 is about grace, which manifests as beauty of something through its uniqueness. This hexagram warns against creating form for its own sake and it clicked with my recent detachment from my work. I'll be mindful of that tomorrow.

@Zetxil When I was talking about the world built of hierarchical theories, I was referring to a psychological perspective of a hypothetical CEO, not a "physical" world. You misunderstood my point. No, we're not. We falsely attribute the invention of civilization to ourselves. We humans flowered out of nature and civilization flowered out of us. Human nature is still nature. Not going to argue with you, though.

@Pouya So, you are saying you live because you have ambitions. Wouldn't the reverse be true as well? You have ambitions because you live. So, you live and therefore have ambitions so that you can live. Isn't it the same as just saying that your survival takes care of itself? Your brain came up with thoughts to convince itself that it needs to live and you are watching those thoughts and buying into them. It is not wrong to buy into thought-stories as long as you do not put the cart before the horse. You are chasing your own tail, don't forget that. Your mistake is that you think that you think. Thinking is like breathing. You do not have reasons to think. Thoughts arise, like saliva drools. If you will require a reason to live, your brain will come up with one, and if you won't - it won't. You can only die now. Regardless of what plans you have, they will all be obliterated upon malfunction.

@Pouya Are you afraid that you will have no reason to survive once you lose your ambitions? Is this why you are not awakened yet? Enlightenment is realization of the absolute truth. It has been true your whole life, unbeknownst to you. Why would it change your life?

Do you need a reason to take care of your survival?

Only the ones that think they need reasons to do things. What is the reason you breathe for?

Chase, like a dog that chases its own tail not realizing whose tail it is? No. Chase, like a dog that chases its own tail for no reason in particular? Yes.

@mandyjw This whole business of afterlife sounds to me like an outdated vehicle for being detached from the present moment. Fortunately/unfortunately, we have science now and people are suspecting that something's up and the payday will never arrive, so they lose the benefits while retaining the downsides. How is enjoying the present moment foolish? Is presence opposed to thinking and planning? Don't you have to be present first, in order to plan? When exactly do you think about future? Aren't thoughts about future appearing always now? People get the weird idea that once you become enlightened, you become a catatonic that is unable to attend to himself. You are realizing the absolute truth. It has always been that way, even if you were ignorant. Don't expect fireworks.

@Truth Addict While I think that your observations are poignant, the depressing part comes from the fact that you're not taking it far enough. The company built on the shoulders of its employees is only possible through slapping an oversized cortex on a chimpanzee without giving it instruction manual on how to operate it. We are losing ourselves in ideas of future and past and the enslavement does not come from external exploitation, but through our unwillingness to admit that our plans are full of holes and external dependencies. This forces us to become blind, which manifests either as ferociousness, or compliance that gets us to the so-called top, or locks us as a helpless piece of the system. Living in a world that is constructed of hierarchical theories never leads to liberation. A CEO that builds his company by exploiting employees will find himself at the top of the human ladder only to see that he's now competing with companies instead of people. Companies that are waiting to bankrupt him and strip him of his luxuries. This is ignorance, samsara, fate. The truth is that we're animals, but we have the capacity to bullshit ourselves otherwise. We exchange energy freely, to eat, sleep and procreate, but our minds convince us otherwise. This bullshit is what we have to wake up from to be free.

Yeah, it's your mantra. It's perfect as you wrote it. I'm done trying and I'm doing it. Now it the time.

I like that sentence. It spells peace very well. You could simplify it down to: Know nothing, understand everything.

@FoxFoxFox Ignorance of the mind comes from its finitude. Ignorance is not an insult, but a law. It is not in the mind's power to cut or restore the connection to the higher self. It is not your fault to be born and it not your accomplishment to die. "Now" is directionless. Laws of causality do not apply to it, so don't expect causal reasoning as a response. The closest you can get is a strangeloop.

Once you're born, you are not responsible for your own birth.

@Adilbek Because both lying and honesty are devil's playthings. By being radically honest, at least you're doing a service to others so that they can be weary of you and think for themselves in your presence. An empty mind can neither lie, nor say the truth.

@Zigzag Idiot What are the mechanics of transforming a hexagram to another one? I just found this.

@now is forever I changed it back to tea-ching. I like that more. I laughed at itching, but there's not much I can say in response. Great pun. Do you use traditional forms of divination?

Yesterday's hexagram allowed me to stay centered during a fight I had with my wife in the afternoon. It was about me failing to meet her expectations that resulted in internalized anger. This anger was not expressed by her at the appropriate moment in fear of taking responsibility of the evening. My observation was that the emotional center (that responds to the moment) was hijacked by the mind to justify its subversive attitude. While the feeling of anger itself is energizing and positive, the mind's tendency to say no to whatever arises is what produces angry tantrums. The yesterday's hexagram was useful in that it allowed me to: grasp the proper meaning of self-inquiry, putting awareness on awareness being mindful during the fight and not buying into readymade solutions suggested by the Ego What was unusual is that I did not respond to her anger with calmness, but with raw energy devoid of hostility. She was very confused, but was able to see through herself. The morning was a little tense, but still very fruitful. I kept being mindful of the arising resentment and said the internal no to it. She admitted to having this feeling by herself it and we had a heartfelt conversation about it. Today, I drew hexagram with no questions like advised by the Sage and received 31: Influence. The judgement: Influence. Success. If one is firm and correct in taking the mate offered, it brings good fortune. I also received the 6th changing line: The influence shows itself in jaws, cheeks and tongue. The judgement brought peace to me after yesterday's turmoil. It is unsettlingly poignant. The author's comments about this judgement has led me to read more about imps, demons and dragons, which allowed me to identify a demon of my own. It was confirmed with a firm yes in the RTCM that it was the message. The demon manifests itself as a flash of primal fear with a mental image when I'm having showers with my eyes closed. The image consists of a figure... as I'm writing this I started wondering if bringing the image of the demon to my inner eye feeds it, so I asked the sage whether it's appropriate to describe it in the journal and I received a firm yes. So, the image consists of a short anthropomorphous figure, approximately half my size. Its whole body is covered in black fur. Its neck is very sturdy so that its head is basically forced to look straight ahead. Its eyes are round, fish-like, but they are mounted at the front of the head, carnivore-style, as opposed to the sides like herbivores have. It has very long claws reminiscent of Edward Scissorhands. It appears during showers when I'm standing with my eyes closed. It's waiting outside of the cabin, still, looking at me. I meet this flash of experience with curiosity and it lasts less than a second. I did the mini-meditation #3 page 553 with the image of the cosmic vacuum cleaner. As the demon was being sucked in, a few associations came to mind. They were about my cultivation of anger towards my manager and about biting my fingernails. Apparently, I also have imps and dragons and I am to repeat this mini-meditation tomorrow. I have a few hunches what are those, I'll investigate them later on today.

@Zigzag Idiot I've been thinking about the format of this particular journal because I don't consider it mine. It's okay if you share them here, but I'm neither encouraging, nor discouraging. I stumbled upon something similar in the judgement of hexagram 35. Page 301 in my edition. It's was about receptivity to openness of another person. I struggle with it a lot in my relationship. I've been sitting on the hexagram I received and I stumbled upon this post by @Preetom: As I was reading the article, something clicked within me and I experienced what it means to put awareness on awareness itself. It's very similar to what I call presence/being in the now, but has an empty, timeless quality to it.

I drew the hexagram 23: Splitting apart The judgement: Splitting apart: it does not further to go anywhere. and received two changing lines: Line 1: The leg of the bed is split. Those who preservere are destroyed. Misfortune. Line 2: The bed is split at the edge. Those, who preservere are destroyed. Misfortune. I have a lot to say about those, but I'm going to listen to the Sage's advice and simply let it sink in.