PsiloPutty

OK, thank you. Will just roll with it.

Did any of you guys have ego backlash when you first started this? I'm not sure if mine today is from doing the holotropic breathing on Sunday afternoon or if it's from just starting to implement kriya yoga, but I'm having a hard time with a despairing voice in my head. I'm going to do my best to just continue on with the path I'm on, and expect that the voice will quiet down.

@cetus56 My 1st belly laugh of the day, thank you!

@Spacious Wait a sec, exactly how much cannabis did you flush? Ha, just kidding, sounds like you had a great thing happen. Mine was good, but I can't say I had a samadhi experience like yours.

@onacloudynight OK, gotcha. I'm in the middle of reading Lesson 4 right now. Thank you.

@Psyche_92 Yes, I remember someone saying that there might be a resurgence of temptation/emotion after sex. Thanks, brother.

That's it, man. And huge kudos to you for recognizing this stuff at your age.

Finally had sex. Now the game of No-Whack-A-Mole is back in effect!

Ayahuasca was my first step into this whole process of self-development, and mushrooms have been my go-to since then. They give me glimpses of what it is that I am. Having that peaceful knowledge as my baseline conscious state is a thought that I love and am striving for. I would still be drinking vodka like water every day if psychedelics hadn't come into my life when they did. They are helping me shift into a different gear in life.

@see_on_see I did it for 45 minutes yesterday. I can't be sure, but I'd say the psychedelic-ish stuff started at around 20 minutes. As with actual psychedelics, I'm guessing everyone has their own experience with this.

@moon777light Looking away and saying "wow!" is what I did the first couple times, but if you keep your head about you and continue to gaze, you'll go deeper into it. It's like you crawl through your pupil (or someone else's, if you're doing it with a friend) and into some kind of calm sense of knowing and seeing. Takes me 15 minutes to get to that point, though.

I think he and I and many others have used that term because it's very apt, at least when I compare it to how my mushroom trips go. It's not exactly the same, but if someone wanted to know what psychedelics were like, without actually taking anything, this exercise would have given me a VERY reasonable glimpse of what the mushroom realm is like. Your mileage may vary.

@blazed Great post. It reminded me that I was very nauseated during the first 10 minutes. Retched a few times and would have vomited if I'd retched a couple more times, but I got myself calmed and went on. Having a puke bucket closeby would not be overkill for this exercise. I know I will next time.

Nice to talk to someone else who has done this stuff and saw/felt the same things. I sure don't know about the awakening part....I've only just begun this journey, and some days I feel further away from it than ever. ETA: Finding a willing partner to look at instead of yourself is at least as effective as mirror work, and maybe even more profound, as you'll end up seeing yourself in their eye after ~15 minutes of staring. The less you blink, the better. The person you do it with has to be into it. If they aren't, they will look away a lot, move around a lot, and laugh a lot, because it's incredibly difficult to look at another human in the eye for this long; it's just so foreign that a lot of people get squirmy about it really quickly. As with any meditation, those movements are distracting and will make you "lose your place" and have to start again each time it happens. It won't be like starting a whole new session, but it briefly takes you out of the moment. I think doing it with someone else is a great lesson in seeing that we're all the same, not just similar. It's profound.

So I am only on Lesson Four. Should I sit and do the Nadi breathing and the Ujjayi breathing as my session, or wait until I know how to do more? Are just those two pranayamas are enough to do by themselves?

@phoenix666 Right, some of the faces I see look very ancient, sometimes even proto-humans, like neanderthalic faces. When you mentioned loving them, it reminded me that yes, I purposely send love to every new face I see, no matter how twisted and frightening they are. It helps with the fear. The eye is always the same though, and looking into it I see myself in all of the faces. Strange, but even in conversation with other people, I find myself looking at their eye, and I often see myself.

@dude My session was the opposite in that I couldn't form a fist at all. Hands were far too numb to feel, let alone make a fist.

You can try it. You can stop at any time, so this isn't like getting on a rollercoaster and not having the option of ending it when you feel in danger.

@i am I AM Thank you. I can't say that I'm truly grasping the thread that you're offering me, and that's frustrating, but I'm trying.

I'm sure thousands upon thousands of people have ditched emotional trauma without doing this particular exercise, so no, I sure wouldn't waste time worrying about it if you can't do it. It's one tool.

This made me laugh! But it's also true, and while I don't go quite that far, your post made me realize that I might be talking to friends (not casual acquaintences) too much about my thoughts and pursuits.

Yes, and it's trippy. I get comfy in a seated position in front of a mirror, get close to it (8" away or so), pick a pupil and simply stare into it for 20 minutes without breaking the gaze. Face will morph into other people's faces, men and woman, old and young, attractive and ghastly. I gain an appreciation for myself and others afterward. It can be scary, though.

I can understand what your saying.....but only as a concept. I don't KNOW what you're saying. And yes, I posted that so maybe Lora would read it, think about it, and decide that it was just ego/fear that was holding her/him back on this. In a physically healthy person, what might be holding her/him back here, if not ego-induced fear? I'm asking humbly, as someone who is genuinely curious.

After the 45 minute session yesterday, today I feel the muscles in my neck are quite sore, which makes sense. I had my head turned upward for a good chunk of time as I breathed. When I bend over and touch my toes and let my head hang down, it feels tender inside. Not really a headache, but more like the feeling you get in your head after puking strenuously the day before. Like the dura mater around the brain is tighter than usual. Those are the physical after effects for me. The mental feeling now is basically good, except maybe I feel a little peevish and grumpy. Could be the ego kicking, like Leo warned about in the video, or maybe it's just my emotional reaction to the slight physical discomforts I'm feeling this morning. I might do another session tonight, but only if the soreness has subsided. I don't want to add soreness on top of soreness.

Unless you have some physical affliction, that sounds like what your ego wants you to think.