PsiloPutty

I did a retreat a couple weeks ago, and the teacher addressed this "How can I tell if I'm getting anywhere with meditation?" question. He said that it's often extremely subtle changes at first, but he said to ask yourself if you feel more compassionate than you did before you started a consistent meditation practice. Compassion for other people, compassion for yourself, compassion for animals, compassion for everything else making its way through life. He said that's often one of the first changes that people (when asked about it) can see. Are you doing one of the breath-focused methods? With those, I think it's easier to gauge some sort of progress by noticing that you go longer and longer between arising thoughts interrupting your focus on the breath. But with techniques like Do Nothing, it may be harder to see the small advancements you make, because there's no obvious yardstick.

Thank you, my man. I was looking under "All Videos."

Well man, it's possible to simply fall into a good, productive trip, despite having done everything to discourage that from happening, and maybe that was your strategy with the mushrooms, but I hope you get a little more serious with the ayahuasca. People don't go out on the town and try to score some strange after dosing psychedelics for personal growth. That's called recreation. I'm glad you apparently had a happy trip and learned something, but I hope you plan to treat the ayahuasca retreat with more respect.

I've looked, but I can't find any post-retreat videos that have parts 1, 2 and 3. What is the title?

Good for you. I didn't know they did 1-day retreats. I just got done with a 7-day myself. I'm no expert, but since nobody else has popped in, I'll talk to ya for a few minutes. 1) When you say "a thought process" are you referring to realizing that your mind has wandered away from your breath and moved on to actual thinking? If so, that's when I label it "THINKING" and go straight back to my breath. You don't want to be pursuing thought processes if it's something that you're actively participating in (what should I tell that guy at work tomorrow? etc). If it's not something you're participating in, but rather an organic thought that pops your head, you can label it HEARING or SEEING or THINKING or however the thought manifests itself, then focus on it without manipulating it until it fades. If it doesn't fade or seem to be going anywhere, I ditch it after 10 seconds or so and go back to my breath. 2) Don't get hung up on 7 seconds. There's nothing special about it. His point is to not immediately let these things go without focusing on them at all, but also do not focus on them for too long. 7 seconds is a rough timeframe for this sort of intense focus. If the sound of a car going by comes at you and takes center stage in your mind, focus on the sound (or the memory of the sound) until it fades from center stage. If that's a couple seconds, so be it. If the car parks in front of your house and revs its engine for 3 hours, focus on that sound until it doesn't command your attention anymore. If you have the thought "I like this," just acknowledge in your mind "LIKING" or ENJOYING and move on. You don't have to dwell on everything for 7 seconds. Only focus on the things that take you away from your breath and demand center stage attention. 3) For one thing, stop looking at the clock. Sitting down to meditate is a binding contract between you and you. Set your timer for 30 mins or whatever, close your eyes and don't open them again until it buzzes. Yep, you might get pissed off. Yep, you might want to do other things. Yep, you might want to sell your soul to the devil to make the timer sound. Just treat those feelings as opportunities for growth. You can label it FEELING ANGRY, focus on the feeling for a few seconds until it fades, then go back to your breath. This, I believe, is one of the most important aspects of Vipassana: realizing that thoughts can simply be acknowledged and released. When you repeatedly encounter FEELING ANGRY and focus on it and watch it disappear, you start to realize that letting go these thoughts doesn't have to stop when you get up from meditating; thoughts in your waking life can be treated in exactly the same way, and that's powerful. 4) Are we talking about Strong Determination Sits here? If so, that's the whole gist behind the practice, man. You can't hurt yourself in a 30-min sit, or even a 2-hour sit, so you just greet the pain, label it PAIN, focus on it until it stops hogging center stage, and go back to your breath. If it doesn't get off the stage, play with it a bit by wondering "who is feeling this pain?" Pain sucks, but that's part of a SD sit. They aren't fun, but Shinzen Young says they're one of the quickest ways to progress. 5) Ha, we've already covered that. Once you get a few months of this behind you, you'll realize that those thoughts don't come up nearly as often, and you'll be able to sit for longer and longer without mental or physical discomfort. You are doing this correctly, so don't get disheartened. 6) Yeah, this stuff takes a lot out of a person at first because it's so foreign to us to sit for that long, and our ego gets freaked out and lashes out at you in the form of thinking you can't do this anymore, or that you need to jerk off for that familiar dopamine fix that it provides. You will get better at it! Damn, I wrote another book. Sorry!!

OP, where do you live? Have you looked closer to home, where they might even be free of charge? If you haven't, just Google something like "Vipassana retreats" and you'll see that they're all over the place. I did a 7-day retreat last month at Shambhala in Colorado, and it was wonderful.

I burn about 3 sticks of incense a day at home, and I do enjoy picking up a whiff of it while I meditate. I usually seem to smell it when I'm coming "off point" with my breath focus, and the smell wakes me and gets me back on track. You don't really think your bike wreck was because of incense do you?

If they don't *snap* when you break them, then yeah, they still have H2O in them. How much? Hard to tell, and that's the corner we get stuck in when they aren't dried properly. I guess if I wanted a 3.5g trip with those mushies, I'd weigh out 4g and cross my fingers, but you'll be obsessing about it as the trip starts, which leads you down the wrong path right away.

Nope, but don't try to tame it. Let it happen and welcome it.

@cetus56 I always get good stuff outta your posts. I find it hard to follow the thoughts of some folks here, but yeah, I'm guessing it's because I still think I'm me.

@Alex Busch Right, gotcha. I didn't get into Holosync, but for months I would use binaural beats to meditate, and found that it helped me "learn how" to meditate. Like you, I eventually found that I could meditate much easier than before without listening to anything. I still use it a couple days a week. Same here with the extra 5 minutes of silence once the sound stops. I explore the idea that I'm not who I think I am, and I also conjure up strong feelings of love to end things on.

Sounds like Kundalini moving? I've had the vertigo, and also something similar to shivers of current going through me, but maybe different than what you describe. Anyway, I'd take it as progress. Careful to not want or expect a repeat of it. Curious about your experience with Holosync. What about it led you to meditate longer? What differences do you notice, when compared to your previous meditating?

Thank you much for that. Next week is my first retreat. Nervous, excited and curious as heck.

Hey, here's a thought for you. I've done this and it sorta works. Pause a movie, youtube vid or TV show when a person is up close to the camera and looking right into it. The closer their headsize (on the screen) is to a normal headsize the better it works, but get a foot or so away from it and eye gaze with them. Who knows, doing that enough may help you with your phobia. Desensitization practice.

Sure, I understand that. And finding a stranger to do it with is tricky in any case. Going up to some dude on the sidewalk and saying "this is gonna sound odd, but do you have 10 minutes?" isn't quite normal. When I'm in it, I forget that I'm looking at another person. It's as though I'm alone and looking at myself. Just talking about it makes me want to go find a willing partner!

Right on, sorry for the confusion. Oh man, I've had some very intimate sessions with other people. I can't even describe the feelings I get while doing it, especially with someone I don't know very well. If I had only 10 minutes to get to know a stranger, I would forego all conversation and go straight to the eye gazing. LOL, obviously they have to be onboard and doing it too. Every time I do it with this one girl, I see my ex-wife, plain as day in front of me. I don't think the girl's face or eyes look like my ex, so no idea where it comes from, but I send love to my ex when I see her, and it helped me to heal old wounds. It's intimate regardless of whose eye I'm looking at, and I usually have loose tears rolling down my face by the end of the sessions. If it wouldn't get me beat up and scorned, I'd do 15 minutes with every stranger on the streets.

No mirror involved when eye gazing with another person. Was that what you wanted to clear up? I'd be happy to talk about eye gazing with another person, though.

@okulele Wow, that's weird we both posted RS videos. I like his approach with people. Calm, friendly, probing.

If you get to a mellow headspace or get stuck on a thought, this might help to generate a new path or idea.

That's great, man. If I think of any vids that you might find useful, I'll post them. But have a productive time. Have you done LSD before? How much are you planning on taking? I hope you have a breakthrough that rocks your foundation.

@Mikael89 That's a great description. I've never not seen my face, though. That'd be something!!

I love doing mirror work. I do get more out of it with another person, though. Adds a new layer of "self" to the process. It's very touching and fulfilling.

Wow, three hours is beyond impressive to me. What about nature's call? Unless I was purposely on the dehydrated side, I'd surely have to pee during that time. That's not even addressing the mental side of this. I think it's great that you're able to go that long without flippin' out.

Got me a chuckle reading your comment above.

Thabk you again. I can easily stay focused and meditate happily for 60 minutes if I'm not doing a strong determination sit. The physical freedom of being able to move a degree or two this way or that, it makes a lot of difference in relieving pain in my back. The mental freedom of not doing an SD sit is probably the bigger component, as I don't feel "contractually bound" to not moving. Kind of like putting a straight jacket on a sweet little old lady.....she's gonna go nuts when she starts fighting it! I'm being extreme, but that's the gist of it. I don't know, for me it seems worth pursuing that mental challenge, despite the anguish involved.