PsiloPutty

Hahaha, I laughed. I love how he draaaaaags the ends of his sentencesssssssssssss……..

Still 4 months left of 2018. Think of the possibilities! ? I'm right there with ya in this awesome progression of life.

@cetus56 Oooo, that was GOOD!! ?

Honestly, I'd likely do something extremely austere. Monkhood wouldn't be out of the question. Meditate the shit outta myself and change the blueprints from the bottom up. Can you imagine the changes that a full year of 12 hours a day meditation would bring about?

Good post, and it's something that I've only begun to appreciate. It's definitely one of the main root causes for most people giving up on things that they know are good for them.

Are you a perfectionist? Do you think what you have is a confidence/self-esteem issue, or is it a control issue? What you described sounds like thoughts that I have at times as well, although I usually end up giving it a try (whatever the task happens to be), and that's usually enough for me to figure it out on my own. I think deep down mine comes from a confidence standpoint. If that's the root of it, it's nice to identify it as such. Shining light on a shadow makes it disappear. Don't be hard on yourself. Show love and compassion for yourself, even the parts that you dislike. Negative talk and feelings only compound things.

So cool! Is it safe to say that you're experiencing a pivotal year in your life?

I hear what you're saying, but also look at it froma legal standpoint. If they didn't address mental illness at all in their website, someone who's not stable could do the retreat, have a huge episode and sue, claiming that there wasn't any mention at all about possible adverse effects of prolonged meditation with their condition. Bam, the place is closed after paying the dude. From a business standpoint, I'd rather offend you a little than to have what I just described occur.

Our darkest hours come just before dawn. It does sound like you're doing quite a lot of actualization work, so you might have to take it down a notch, but I'd say stick with the practice for the most part and ride this wave out. I'm no expert though, and I do know what you're talking about. My own practice has gone through ups and downs with motivation and frustration, but always comes out of it.

Excellent, keep the momentum going.

Heavy metal sounds like the perfect ingredient for me to have a bad trip, but hey, we're all wired a little differently. Rock on!

I would keep going with it, despite the anger. The anger is probably temporary, and like you said, it is probably you working through some things that have been stuffed in the corners for a long time. My guess is that the mushrooms are doing exactly what you want them to do, which is to cleanse you and allow you to live more fully. I imagine you just have to get over this hump, and I wouldn't guess it to last very long. Your dosage sounds fine. Also examine the possibility that your anger is from you subconsciously expecting the microdosing to help more/sooner than it can. Maybe something like: "I'm so busy and stressed out lately, I think I'll do this microdosing thing, everyone says how awesome it is, and I need some of that in my life, this is going to be my ticket to happiness!.....What the hell? I've been microdosing for 3 weeks and it isn't helping! I'm getting angry! This was supposed to be the cat's meow, and everyone else is being helped by mushrooms except me! I'll never find a way to calm down and find peace!" Just an idea to explore; there might be nothing to it in your case. Either way, I would push through and continue dosing. I don't know how long you've been doing it, but give it a couple of months before you make a decision one way or the other. And don't expect loud miracles; if miracles come, they will be soft and gradual. ?

Well, don't get crazy thoughts like suicide. This is going to pass, friend.

Hi again. No, not controlling your breath, but just focusing on it. A lot of meditation techniques are breath-focused. Here's a very brief video for you. Something to maybe incorporate in with your nature sits. Even with focusing on your breath, you'll still get to hear the birds, feel the breeze, etc. It might actually make your nature sits better (eventually), as staying with your breath keeps you in the present moment.

I think we have to tolerate being full of shit sometimes if we are to grow. For example, I love to meditate. I've told myself that I'm a good meditator, that I enjoy it, and that it'll lead me to be a better person......all of which is mental bullshit stories that I tell myself. But without that bullshit, I wouldn't be as motivated to sit in meditation every day, and I likely would slip back into my old habits and thoughts. Bullshit can help lead a person out of bullshit. It's like, how would a person become enlightened without doing the things that bring enlightenment about? And what would lead a person to do those things if not having a bullshit idea about needing to do those things? It's all bullshit, but some bullshit is more useful than other bullshit.

I know what you mean, and it's also difficult to not think that we are "ahead" of people who don't give a hoot about waking up from the dream. I've said goodbye to a few friends with whom I don't have much in common any longer. Other of my friends are more open minded, so even though they aren't pursuing the same things as I am, they are at least curious and can see that it makes me a better person, so they're cool about it and we still have a good relationship. I doubt that helped answer your questions, but just an amen from others might help some.

Sounds like you're enjoying your newfound peace, Amy! That's so cool, and if you stick with it, it will mature and grow into something you look forward to every day because you'll know that each meditation sit furthers you into getting to know yourself. Do you watch your breath as you sit in nature?

The narrator sounds like he's from "Bah-ston" the way he pronounces Samadhi.

That's a great metaphor here. And I agree with you.

SD sits are a hardcore method for digging out the corners of your psyche.....the places that never get touched when you do your ordinary sweeping and dusting in there. These are the places that have been there, untouched, possibly since childhood or adolescence. It's always going to involve discomfort to see this stuff and deal with it, and you have to be ready for what it throws at you. If someone goes into it knowing this and expecting this, he/she will be far more apt to be skillful when this dirty gunk gets dug out of the corners. Someone who isn't expecting it might flip out when a huge pile of smelly childhood slime gets slung across the windshield of their mind.

If you do a technique like Vipassana, it seems to me that it would cover everything that you're encountering, as it allows all thoughts, feelings and emotions to be noticed and observed. It's the "here and now," whatever that means each time you sit.

@XYZ Post-of-the-week Award ? And.....gynocracy. ?

Dayyyummm, son! That was my best online Joe Rogan impression, because he's the one who inspired me to do float tanks stoned as well. ? That's one nice trip you had. I honestly call it a trip, because that's what it induces, I've been there. Have you done actual psychedelics? Going by your screen name, it's highly likely, but I would imagine they would evoke some really deep and profound stuff in you, based on your float tank experience. Do you put earplugs in? I never have, and never seemed to be an issue.

I love this. I am SO happy that you did it and that you benefitted from it! Ayahuasca changed the direction of my life and my interpretation of it. How long do you think it'd take for the world to change for the better if everyone 18 and older did a healthy dose? A week? Whenever anyone says that there's no way out of the mess we've gotten ourselves into on this planet, it's because they don't know that this exists. This thread makes me smile.

I comehere to touch base with like-minded people and pump up my motivation. To hear thoughts and suggestions from those who've already been where I am. Yep, this place can be frustrating as heck, and I take leaves of absence every so often when I feel as though I've gotten my fill.