PsiloPutty

Happens that way with me, too. When I explore a new technique, the freshness of it becomes my fuel, but after the novelty wears off, I have to dig for the deeper fuel.....the fuel that drives my whole practice.

That's a simple yet great idea for breath training. It beats carrying around a whole string of Japa beads! At work I often keep track with pen and paper. When I remember to bring myself back to the breath, I put a hashmark on the paper. Your method is more mobile.

Damn, forget whether eyes open or closed, tell us more about.....your buddy. I would still try it for 30 mins, even with a demon riding shotgun.

Zen master? We aren't talking about Shinzen Young are we?

@now is forever That is Mingyur Rinpoche.

Sounds like a wonderful trip. Glad you had it!

@Arman *golf clap*

I always fast for ~6 hours before dosing. I think 2.0g would be a nice dose for your first time, but it won't likely be anything profound. If you bump it up to 2.5g I bet you'll be happier with the trip afterward, but that's just a suggestion. The more you try to control the trip, the more the mushroom will laugh at you. You should set an intention beforehand, like I want to learn more about my social anxiety, but don't actively try to steer things too much while the trip is happening. That's a recipe for mindfuckery in my experience, especially on the higher doses. WHERE you trip is even more important to a good trip than the dose. Make sure you're in a quiet place where you feel safe and won't be disrupted by people coming and going. People who do their first trip out in public almost always have bad experiences.....just too freaking much going on. How are you consuming these fungal friends of yours? Just eating the dried mushrooms? Grinding them up in a coffee grinder? Making a tea? I always grind mine up, add an ounce of lemon juice, let it sit for 20 mins and then down it all. Have fun!

@Solace Namaste to you. That was a beautiful read.

I love your thoughts and how you express them.

@Girzo Conversely, I'm sure that many thousands of monks found that they could more skillfully help people after monkhood than before.

I use it as a meditation tool sometimes, but never with my main meditation sit of the day - I always do those totally sober. There have been times where I just want to fall asleep as soon as I sit and close my eyes, but there are other times when it's very effective at both getting me totally focused on my breathing and also taking me to "that place" that all meditators love. The place where you have no immediate concept of who, where or what you are.....you just are. You're just breath. I won't lie, I also sometimes get high and chainwatch Bob Ross episodes.

An enlightened person might tell you that your eyesight mainly generates duality in the first place, so losing it might be a blessing in disguise, as it would get rid of one avenue of lies coming into your experience. You could meditate all the time if your were blind! I'm not enlightened, so I still think it would kinda suck to lose my sight.

@Gabriel Antonio Ahhhh yes, understood. That would have been a dodge, you're right.

@Peanut What are you sick with?

@Gabriel Antonio How do you know that it wasn't just your tricky, threatened ego telling you that monkhood would be a dodge?

I know my brain would get used to having my eyes open, but I'm an eyes-closed meditator.

@Dorotheus I'm not sure which of those would best describe me, other than knowing that I'm not the first one you described. Maybe a combination of the others.

@Rilles Ha, that'd be the pinnacle of temptation. And there's Rilles, his robe around his ankles, goin' at it with a cute little girl monk, both moaning Ohhhhhhhhhm in the throes of forbidden pleasure. You would go down in Swedish monklore.

@Prabhaker@Prabhaker I think some monks still go out with their begging bowls every day as a lesson about pride. @Rilles LOL, I always think you dudes are older than you are. And why Sweden? Because of all the buxom blondes over there to test your resolve?

Don't expect a whole lot of HUGE changes in your life after one retreat. Retreats are an accelerator of progress, not a portal into a changed person. You probably already knew that. I had a lot of emotion come up at my retreat earlier this year. Like going back to my room, getting on my hands and knees and bawling my eyes out a couple nights. It wasn't even sadness or pain, in fact I felt like I was watching it all from a relatively happy place. Something about no communicating with anyone at all brought this about in me. It forced me to go internal for everything from chit-chat to serious inquiry. I had very real ego backlash for a few days after the retreat let out, which proved to me that something got monkeyed with (in a good way) in my head. I also could meditate at the drop of a hat for a couple weeks afterward. Like sitting down and becoming totally locked onto my breath in less than a minute. Met some great people there, too.

@Prabhaker In the marketplace as a monk you mean? Like begging for food?

Whatever he said to you...…..there's a part of you that you don't like, and that part of you agrees with what the guy said. Do a Loving-Kindness meditation and send healing love to yourself and this other guy.

@Shin Mmmmmm, yes! Also full of shit are you. (that was my best Yoda)

Sounds completely cool. 50 mikes is bigger than a microdose, though. Your English is very good, by the way.