Charlie_B

Thank you @King Merk your response made me see why I triggered by the whole situation in the first place. It all just blown away. I didn't really make a fuss about it but I did speak to my manager and pointed my constructive views on not handing over my team to others. Hopefully the transition goes smooth. Anyhow, I'm not burdened by this thought anymore. Truly appreciate your post.

I have a situation at work. Our management made some hierarchal changes in my team recently. As part of it, my team ended up merging with a couple of small teams from different technologies. Out of 3 the technology that I'm in is bigger and has more business users. Yesterday they announced a common supervisor/manager for all of us as one single team and one technical lead who is from a different technology. The thing is - I'm leading my team as tech lead so far and merging with other teams compromised my position as the management is new and do not really have any idea about my platform and the work we do and the involvement of my team in depth. They chose this tech lead as they are familiar with him and this guy happened to work in my technology years ago in support. I have more experience than any other guys in the whole team and my level of expertise is unparalleled. I'm not really taking this change very well as I do not wish to report to someone who has half of my experience and not brilliant than me in my field. I really want to question my management about the quality of leadership model they implementing and it feels like all of my experience and my hard work is for nothing. I know that these days people are not really questioning their work environment as most of us are either insecure of the job market, or instead of questioning we simply move on to something else. I'm not sure I should do the same. My thought process has changed incredibly over a couple of years watching and following Leo. I understand that I'm viewing this situation from my ego perspective. May be this doesn't matter after a few years. But I don't know how to best handle this situation and what to learn from it. Can anyone advise me whether I should question or move on?

@Viking I liked @Elisabeth 's response to your post. I can somewhat relate to your problem as I often find myself reticent in social gatherings and I don't really find it interesting to communicate with others. I find everyone pretending and being selfish and people just bother about themselves. I never got to the bottom of it as I didn't see that as a problem until recently. I'm reading Alan Watt's autobiography and it has a different dimension to his story that how deep someone can connect to the self and the surroundings alike. Everything that he describes in the book made me feel like I was having a tour of every nook and corner of his life. He couldn't have shown us what it's like unless he finds it interesting first to go through that experience. My meditation practice since an year and half, following actualized.org and reading about self/high conscious people has made me realise the fact that I'm one with the Universe and I'm the Universe at the same time. I somehow drawn to see the world with a fresh pair of eyes. Nothing is monotonous to me anymore. Below are some of my findings which helped me break my introverted cocoon and I'm somewhat a social animal now 1. Be genuinely interested in the world around you. Everyone has a story to tell, it's your chance to see what they have seen, to feel what they felt. 2. Listen before you speak. If you listen properly you definitely find something to appreciate in others. 3. Try and learn from your conversations no matter how simple and small it is. 4. Read and improve your knowledge. It need not be something related to your life or fetch you something in return. Just read to soak into it. 5. Ditch all electronics at least a couple of hours before going to bed. (It made a great difference to my mental health. You will see the point if you actually do so). 6. Contemplate as often as you can. It will give you great insights and drive you towards betterment. 7. If you actually mould yourself to appreciate your won company then others will get automatically attracted to your energy and vibrance. 8. Try and keep a journal. And read your journal at least twice a month. I really want to make it look like a list of 10 commandments, but can't think of any more at the moment Hope this helps. Good Luck. P.S: Don't beat yourself up. Just chill and take life as it comes to you. There's a reason why people still read this book in 2018 and it tops every list of self-help books : How to Win Friends and Influence People - by Dale Carnegie

@beatlemantis I completely agree with @MIA.RIVEL There's something honest and true about our intuitions. They always tell us when something is going wrong. Trust your intuition. The very foundation of a relationship is reciprocity. What is the point of hanging in there if you are not happy with it. You are the only person who can put yourself first. If you can't do it then don't expect anyone else do it either. I'm not saying to end it. I'm just encouraging you to be smart enough about what you might face in future. You don't need approval from anyone. You don't need suggestion from anyone. You just know what to do. Trust yourself.

@Unwiring This book laid out in depth details about how to put mantras in practice. I read author's autobiography and this book could be his own experience as well, as the tantric practice seems to be his speciality. He enumerates the methods that probably would have worked for him. Please note that ancient mantras were built in sanskrit and might be associated with some deity. The sounds that helps to invoke a mantra are all in sanskrit. But I think one can instil any mantra without associating it to deities into the method that he laid out. And some of his revealings shocked me to the core - as using a partner, in some cases, corpse for tantric practice! More over, mantras/practices were never been accessible to common people before as the knowledge stayed with some set of elites . I'm not really sure any of the books available in the market are authentic either. This is the first book I read which actually explained the detailed methods end-to-end. However, reading a book and putting it into practice are entirely different things. I myself not sure how far I can go. But I would like to try as it worked for me in someway. I'm just curious to know if there is a greater possibility. I haven't yet started the method play though. My practice was very immature and I didn't even know that it works. I used to repeat a mantra during my meditation for an hour twice a day. And unconsciously I used to repeat the mantra while commute, at work and whenever I notice that my mind slips into past.It somehow pulled me into present and gave me a new perspective. That's the main reason that I was drawn to this book. If you want to know the methods that were used by ancient sages from India then go for this book. Or else you can also research for more westernised version of the concept of mantras. At the end it doesn't really matter which method one follows - what matters is the journey whether we trusted enough / enjoyed enough / immersed enough / learned enough / experienced enough and ultimately lived enough! P.S: The book is more like "Mantras for dummies" am sure there are more advanced details in ancient scriptures. But it can serve as a good start if you are really serious about mantras. The religious context that you see everywhere is just a package with different prints on it, the product lies inside. Don't judge the product by the package wrapped around it Good luck.

Hi @MrDmitriiV. I read this book recently and found it very fascinating. Do mantras work? Well, there's only one way to know Practice. I recently started shedding all my christian beliefs and practicing a mantra many times a day knowingly or unknowingly. I started this practice to avoid/come out of the mental trauma I have been through after a painful break-up. After everything I tried for two years to help myself, just practicing a mantra in a couple of months impacted my thought process entirely. The tangible result I can see clearly is the sense of lightness in me and my widening openness to life and world around me. I didn't know the process of initiation or any subtleties regarding mantras before, but after reading this book I wanted to restart my mantra as per author's guidelines and would like to see where it leads me. why Leo doesn't mention it? I wonder May be he doesn't know everything. But I bet that Leo always encourage us to explore and grow. I hope you are not waiting for Leo's reference or approval P.S: This book is definitely fascinating and invokes your sense of endeavour. But sticking to the practice is by no means is an easy task, though it was described with great simplicity in the book. Good Luck.

@Soulbass This book might be off topic but if you want to understand more about Ayurveda and wellness in general (in Indian context though) then this won't disappoint you. I found it recently which I haven't yet completed, but would like to share as it was brilliant so far. "The Wellness Sense: A practical guide to your physical and emotional health based on Ayurvedic and yogic wisdom" by Om Swami https://www.amazon.com.au/Wellness-Sense-practical-emotional-Ayurvedic-ebook/dp/B00QKQYFE0 I recently read the author's biography "If truth be told" as it was mentioned in one of Leo's Top 200 self-help books. It was a great experience reading his life. And am exploring other books by this author and every book is a gem. I hope it helps you and others in this forum. Good Luck.

@Soulbass Herbal infusions are very good if you use the right kind of herbs that suit your body . But, before you opt for herbal infusions try to identify your body type. Below link can help you do that with a quiz. This is just a basic guide to identify the doshas of your body. Depending on doshas, you can choose the right herbs for you. Otherwise a wrong herb can aggravate your doshas and create unnecessary problems in the long run. If you are serious about finding the right combination that works then Its better you do some research further, before settling for an infusion as all infusions doesn't work for everyone alike. May be I'm proposing an entirely alien topic for you, but hope that it helps you make the right choices. https://www.banyanbotanicals.com/info/ayurvedic-living/learning-ayurveda/vata-pitta-and-kapha/ Good luck.

I lost two of my family members and I know what it's like loosing someone forever. Believe me when I say your absence will haunt every member of your family for the rest of their lives. They always wonder why they didn't get a chance to help you in any way possible that might have changed your decision. When I think about my father who died at an age of 42, my memories always wraps into his responsible arms. Never did I resent his death even though we lost him too early. His thoughts still motivates me to keep up my spirits as that's what he always reflected through his life. I no longer feel sad about him as I know that his life was worth something. On the other hand, I still mourn for my brother who killed himself at an age of 22. Not a single day goes by without him crossing my mind. Nothing in this world could bring a tiny moment of joy to my mother which she can trade her sorrow for her son. I don't remember his mistakes, I don't care his failures. My life experiences made me understand his death but part of me also died with him. I don't know your situation, but if your life is not worth living for yourself, I suggest you try to live for others. No matter how lost we are, we will find a way which can lead to our destiny. try and try ...my brother ... live to love your life ...until death itself comes for you. That's what I would have told my brother if only he would have asked me ....just for once. Give yourself one year, and try to do things which you want to leave to your family/ loved ones to be proud of when you die after an year. Give them something to cherish in your absence. Then decide if you want to live or not. That would be fair if not reasonable.