WaveInTheOcean

<3 <3 Thank you, best of luck to you too brother <3 <3

Sure, will update. Thank you. Indeed.

As God I'm imaginging everything. So yes. And my imagination is infinite in every infinite way. I created - that is imagined - everything out of a desire to imagine, create, explore myself. I am infinite and thus there is infinite imagination, infinite exploring, infinite possibilities. It's nice. It's God. It's fun. It's Love. It's horrifying. But horrifying is exciting. It's all just infinite imagination. My plans for the future is to probably study pscyhology at university. When I get my degree - Phd or whatever - then I got some "credits" and it's easier to do work perhaps. I will also be smarter -- in a relative sense, cos absolutely speaking I'm already perfect -- about how human minds work. Anyway, I will use that degree to make psychedelic therapy mainstream, so we can help ppl with depression and other mental issues. Right now with SSRI's and stuff we're just symptom-treating, and it's not good. No i have not tried that. Dno what it is.

Yeah good question. I dno why I do it actually. I've always laughed at the dudes who made these kind of topics. I'm just having fun I guess. It's nice talking to someone (i.e. talking to yourself through someone). I really don't know what to do. Gotta stay grounded and keep my life as it is, making small changes towards my life purpose which is to help people. I can't really see any other point in my life other than helping other people.

Hi Actualized-forum Back in 2019 I did 2 Ayahuasca ceremonies over the span of 4 days in a place somewhere on planet Earth. We were 10 participants, and there were 2 facilitators/"shamans" (not really shamans, but one of them had done a lot of training with a real shaman in Peru). There were 5 sober helpers as well. So very safe setting it felt like. A few days ago I finally managed to do a trip report of my two ceremonies. I shared it on the closed Facebook-group for the Aya-retreat-people. However, I thought why not also share it here. To stay somewhat anonymous I have deleted all names in the report. Warning: long wall of text ahead (3000 words). But it's good and I have read it through several times to fix the worst errors. Happy reading if you go on. TLDR: Ayahuasca changed my life for the better. <3 I finally wanted to do a “trip report” of my 2 ceremonies on *deleted* back in *deleted* 2019. The reason I have waited so long is probably due to the fact that the real work really happens after you have been shown all kinds of things by Mother/Spirit-Aya. And I have struggled a bit to integrate all the things into my life, and thus didn’t want to do a trip report until now, as I somehow felt it would be premature. Introduction A bit about me and my motivation to do the Aya-retreat: I’ve never done Aya beforehand. I’m 25 years old (24 at the time) and have done some other psychedelics, mainly LSD, which back in 2015 triggered my general “spiritual interest.” In the winter months of 2019, I had a really bad depression, where at one point I was basically at the last step before actually trying to commit suicide. I had it planned out and was about to do it but in the last minute my love my for my family stopped me (I didn’t want to burden them with the pain my death would probably create). Anyway, I got out of it and got to a much better place inside my head during the summer. I wanted to do Aya mostly out of sheer curiosity and a desire to understand myself and reality better. For spiritual and self-development reasons, I guess you could say. I was feeling fine mentally at the time, although struggling a lot with sleep issues (which also was one of the primary drivers of my depression back in winter). Because I also was so nervous about doing Aya, I slept for 0 hours the night before my first ceremony. Because I knew it probably meant quite a lot to go into the experience with a rested and clear mind, I was close to calling it quits. But my good friend, *deleted* – whom I travelled to *deleted* with – convinced me to get my shit together and get myself out of my door. I’m glad he did, lol. So yeah, when we finally got there, I was told by *deleted* to come up with an intention/wish for what I wanted to get out of the first ceremony. Because I was so worn out I think I wished for Aya fix my sleep problems (;D). And some other things (spiritual/self-development like I already mentioned). Luckily for me, my first ceremony was a great experience. I had feared it would be shit due to my lack of sleep. However, I’m sure that my experience would have been much more lucid and clearer if I had slept properly. Cos even though it was a great experience, it was also somewhat chaotic and confusing. First ceremony During the come-up I puked a lot. And I could early on feel that I was in a for heavy ride. I think I’m generally pretty sensitive to all kinds of psychedelics (lost my mind very, very hard on my first ever 150ug LSD trip, not in a pleasant way I should say). I just tried to relax, and the pre-meditation *deleted* and co. did with us definitely helped me stay calm. During the peak of the experience I felt what I can only describe as a “God-realization”. I realized that I was God, and I had a very strong feeling of omnipotence. I had very lucid internal discussions with myself/God/the Aya-spirit/”inner beings of my subconscious mind”. I felt very free as God. And I remember a desire to just stay in this space of God forever, not wanting to return to WaveInTheOcean. Wouldn’t it be easier to let WaveInTheOcean be (i.e. kill him/suicide) and stay as God 24/7? Soon after, however, the omnipotence was contrasted with my actual life as WaveInTheOcean, i.e. at first hand it didn’t make sense to me why I can’t find out how to sleep if I’m God, hehe. I remember I asked: “Why am I experiencing the life of WaveInTheOcean right now with all its struggles, both good and bad?”. The answer was: “Relax, everything is perfect, exactly as it should be. You/I have chosen to experience WaveInTheOcean because it is a unique, worthwhile experience like all other living beings are in the Universe. Yes, your life may not be all-easy, but a game isn’t fun if you set it on easy-mode. If it’s too easy, I get bored, if it’s too hard, well that of course isn’t that much fun either”. I was very satisfied with that answer, intellectually and emotionally. I agreed that WaveInTheOcean was a life worth living. It then felt like I consciously chose to continue the life of WaveInTheOcean. (When we get born into life it always feels like we didn’t have anything to do with it. So now, to be able to sort of freely choose to live on as WaveInTheOcean – that felt nice!). I then remember a strong presence of “two beings” (I couldn’t see them, only talk with them) that were able to do two things: 1. They could show me whatever I wanted to know, as long as I promised to be a loving and honest person. 2. They could reprogram my subconscious mind if necessary. (3. They had a lot of fun with me and mocked me a bit for my general ignorance of things, however they were benevolent, clearly). I remember being shown some – perhaps basic, perhaps advanced, what do I know – spiritual insights of love. That the most important thing in reality/the universe is: Love. By extension of this insight I was then shown one of my little brothers in front of me. His face, his personality, I saw it clearly. And right thereafter I was, as ‘Consciousness’, “thrown into him”. I became him. I took on the mask of my brother. For a brief moment I experienced exactly how it is to be my little brother. This showed me that the raw experience of being another person is exactly the same experience as being me, WaveInTheOcean. All that differs is the “dreamlike”-content of the mind/ego/personality-structure. Even though God-realizations/Oneness-realizations sometimes perhaps can feel very lonely (cos you see that only God exists and that you are God), close to borderline solipsism, this experience was the complete opposite of solipsism. Yes, I and everything may be God, and nothing is not-me/not-God, but that also means that every other person is “me”/God tricked into believing it is not-God, but instead a living human person. Anyway, I may be rambling and struggling to put it into words, but it was beautiful to say the least. Anyway, these two beings I was in contact with, I then begged them to reprogram my subconscious mind in order to make it easier for be to fall and stay asleep. It seemed like they obeyed and did their work. I don’t know how this works, but after the ceremony I slept like a baby and felt pretty refreshed the next morning. (Currently in my life I’m sleeping pretty well. There have been setbacks, like, I had a minor depression in winter 2020 as well where I also slept like absolute shit. I have later thought about how this reprogramming may be a work-in-progress, because ultimately speaking, it is *I* who is doing the reprogramming. And I know now that I sleep much better the more relaxed/at peace I am with myself/reality). Anyway, that was my first ceremony. A very mind-blowing experience, unlike anything I had ever tried before. It really felt like I dug deep into my subconscious/the underlying source code running my mind. I laughed a good bit under the experience as well, cos it was also fun. During the trip it just felt like everything about reality made absolute sense. Everything was fine. And yet I didn’t really understand it, either. And that was the fun part, I suppose. Second ceremony – Intro Well, the second ceremony was a much more intense and deeper psychedelic trip. Before I get into that I would like to mention that I did the kambo-frog-medicine the morning before the second ceremony. That was a very unpleasant experience, lol, but I also remember feeling very grounded and grateful after the intense flu-like feeling had vanished. I puked a lot during the kambo. I didn’t puke at all during the second ceremony. And I had a bigger cup of Aya than during the first ceremony, so naturally I went deeper, and the trip was a few hours longer. I was much calmer and more rested before the second ceremony. Second ceremony – Hypersexual phase The first phase I enter after the initial come-up is what I would like to call the hypersexual phase. I had a really, really strong connection with my sexuality and libido, and I remember feeling very horny -- in a spiritual way perhaps, lol, cos it was all in my mind, there wasn’t much blood down there=D. I remember having strong visualization/closed-eye visuals of me having sex with some persons in my life. It also felt like – in some ways – that I had sex in a spiritual plane with one or two of the women in the hall, haha. I was just lying on my mattress the whole time. This ceremony in general had a very strong feminine vibe over it. I felt a feminine presence around me showing me what good sex could be like, haha. And that sex is very natural and a “good” thing (not that I had any real doubts about that before, intellectually at least). I felt like Mother Aya mocked me for not having enough sex in my life, since she could clearly see that sex is actually pretty important for me / something I enjoy quite a bit. Second ceremony – Childlike phase Anyway, that was interesting enough. I then enter the next phase which I would call the child-phase. I basically became a little child (4-5 years old of age I’d say). My sexuality is thrown out of the window and I have never in my adult life felt so ‘pure’ and ‘innocent’ before. I had no real grasp of what right and wrong is. And EVERYTHING is exciting. I’m touching the walls around me with great joy, moving a lot with my body on the mattress, touching all of my body parts, hitting myself in the head for fun, making all kinds of funny noises with my mouth, laughing a lot, watching my hands make movements in the air. My body and everything just feel immensely fascinating to me. When some of the helpers try to calm me down by touching my feet and saying “shh”, I remember feeling rebellious and just wanting to act out even crazier. However, somewhere deep in the back of mind, a voice tells me “Relax, WaveInTheOcean, you’re high as fuck on Aya”, so I don’t react to all the child-like impulses. I, however, have massive amounts of energy in my body, and I feel like screaming for fun and even go out and run around the building. I didn’t do that, however, hehe. During this child-phase, I have been absolutely stripped – as much as possible – of all social conditioning. I feel like I simultaneously “know everything” and also nothing at all. I haven’t learned how to behave as an adult. But that also made me feel so pure, innocent and free. This experience clearly showed me how much of one’s adult personality is due to social programming from adults and peers in one’s childhood. Currently, I’m working as a helper in a day care center (I hope to study psychology in *deleted* this summer), and this experience really helped me understand the kids on a new level. I have since this experience felt it’s a lot easier for me to view things from a child’s perspective. This experience also showed me how important it is to listen to the inner child inside us. Of course, it has to be controlled and tamed, but you also have to listen to it and give in sometimes, otherwise your life will get boring and your inner child will become depressed. Second ceremony – Peak experience After this child-like phase I enter the peak experience of the ceremony. I experience an overwhelming sensation of pure ecstasy in all of my body. I have never tried anything like it before. My whole body began trembling/vibrating. It was almost too much. Right after this intense energy surge/body-trembling I enter an extremely clear headspace where I get a deep realization of now having woken up to a new reality, where I can see everything in a much clearer light. I remember thinking: “Now you have woken up, WaveInTheOcean. You will not understand this later when you get sober”. I got a deep intuitive insight telling me that everything that have happened in my life up to this point was so that I could experience what I’m experiencing right now. Nothing in life is random. Everything that happens, even though it may seem extremely twisted and at first “not-good” is ultimately happening due to and out of: Love. Life is a love-simulator: How loving can you be, towards yourself and others? And you will get hard-tested in mysterious ways, don’t doubt that. During this peak-experience I felt relaxed and at peace, like I haver never in my entire life felt before. It was a deep relief. A deep realization that everything that happens is God’s will. Nothing is happening without any deeper love/wisdom laying behind it. Everything is perfect. Everything is exactly as it should be, and whatever happens from now on will also happen exactly as it should happen. Every time I feel sad or depressed about something in my life, I always try to remember this feeling I had back in *deleted*. That everything is going to be okay. I’m so grateful that I have experienced this. Second ceremony – Return to my sober self (still tripping though) After this peak experience I slowly began returning to my ego-headspace of WaveInTheOcean. But I could still feel I was very much under the influence of DMT-molecules bouncing around in my nervous system. At one point I got caught up in a very dark headspace. It was like “adult WaveInTheOcean” was returning to my experience, and this was a very sharp contrast to the child- and peace-like feelings I had previously just experienced. My sexuality has returned, although not in a hypersexual way, just in a very normal way. And I’m now again very conscious of what is right and what is wrong. Social conditioning is back up and running. This scares initially the shit out of me, this returning to my ego. I became very aware of all the other people around me in the room, and the self-critical “WaveInTheOcean” had returned with full force and was wondering if I was “a good enough person” and if it was wrong of me to have just experienced what I had experienced. I sit up on my mattress and look around like a scared child. My eyes meet a helper, xxxxx. She instantly sees that I need a hug and I crawl over to her and hug her. It was amazing to be in your embrace for these few minutes. Thank you, xxxxx <3 You calmed me down a lot. I then lay down on my mattress and close my eyes again and the trip begins to take on a very practical-oriented focus. How can I integrate into my life what I had just been shown? How will it change me? How should I change? I also start reliving some periods of my life in my head. I soon start crying a lot, even having trouble breathing. I relive my depression last winter and it becomes obvious to me how close I was to killing myself, and how badly I mistreated myself (negative thoughts and so on). I really see how far out I was. It feels very nice crying and just letting it all out. I cry as I beg for forgiveness towards myself and some of my family/friends I have hurt in my life. I say “sorry, sorry, sorry” several times as I cry. Another helper comes to me, yyyyy, and she supports me in letting it all out. She says that “whatever you have done, Mother Earth forgives you. Give it to her”. And I do. Thank you, yyyyy <3 At some point I was done crying and I just feel so much peace inside myself. I’m still tripping a bit, but not a lot. Before I go to sleep, I think more of how I can use this experience to change myself for the better. Among other things, I realize that I have to be more vulnerable, more honest, more loving. I realize that I have to take better care of myself in some ways. That taking properly care of yourself is the best way to living a happy life. I also realize that I have to let go of some of my OCD-tendencies/inner control freak. It’s okay to let go of control some times. Everything is going to be fine, no matter what happens. As a person I often have a hard time getting started with something new in my life, because I want everything to be perfect before I begin. I realize you sometimes just have to let go of that and just fucking do it. Like I did with this trip to *deleted*. Everything is perfectly imperfect! I also saw how pointless it often is to worry about what other people think of you. As long as you stay true to yourself and your own values. And how important it is, again, to give space to one’s inner child. This inner child contains a lot of energy that you can use if you open up for it. Use it consciously. I also saw that even though all patterns of behavior are “fake/programmed” they still serve a purpose. Namely the purpose of staying civilized while being with other human beings. I see social programming/conditioning as a sort of “technology” (that can be used in both good, conscious ways and bad ways). Just don’t overdo it. Be free as well. Open. Conscious. Loving. It’s a balance. Final thoughts Today I’m still really grateful for the two ceremonies and I look forward for a 3rd and 4th ceremony on *deleted* to see what else Aya has to offer. The atmosphere at *deleted* felt so nice – a perfect balance of both a relaxed and a serious ‘vibe’. And *deleted* and *deleted* and all the helpers and the music really helped me to feel safe all the time. Today I have never been happier in my life. I know what I want, I take care of myself, I have more confidence and I feel more at peace with myself than ever before. And I have now done a lot of the things I told myself I’d do at the end of the second ceremony. I’d say that today I’m more vulnerable, more loving, more open, while at the same time feeling very grounded in myself. I finally -- after many years of hesitation and pressure from friends -- created a Tinder profiler 1 month ago, and on my first date I met a girl, who I already feel like is a potential soulmate (there are many weird coincidences here, but then again not so weird anymore, hehe). But it’s not that my happiness is dependent on whether or not this blooming relationship actually becomes something serious or not. Either way I’m happy just to have met such a girl. I have also recently contacted an old friend, finally. And yeah, I just appreciate life so much these days. I have to lastly include that during the corona-lockdown I did a few 2CB-trips (2CB is LSD’s little brother I’d say). They were all very healing, especially 2 of them had strong “Aya-vibes” in them, and they really deepened the insights I got under the two ceremonies on *deleted*. So that helps:D Thank you *deleted* <3 Especially thanks to *deleted*, *deleted*, *deleted* and all the helpers and participants who helped making my first *deleted*-trip unique and special. And thanks for reading if you made it this far. <3

Hehe I would say the same to you based on your comments in here. But let's agree to disagree. That's also fun <3 For lulz, credits and brags I could add that I've had several direct experiential encounters with states of no-ego, God-realization and even talking to God (that is, my self). But hey, who cares, I'm sure you've had the same. As Wittgenstein says language is a funny thing. How do even know we're talking about the same thing? =)

Sure. But what drives a dude to eat and drink is fundamentally the same forces that drive him to pursue a girl and pursue a career=)

How can something come from illusion? It can't dude. EVERYTHING, and I mean EVERYTHING in life comes from God's will. It's God's will to create illusory separate selfs believing that their goals and wishes and thoughts and doings come from themselves and not from God. That's Gods' will. God's love some play, some drama. Sure, let's say Eckhart surrenderd all. Or let's say in a more precise way that what happened was that God surrendered all illusion of Eckhart, so that the ego, Eckhart became more God-like. To say that Eckharts work now is not the result of personal ambition is true for all human beings. Cos there is no persons. No egos. Trump's "work" is also not the result of any personal ambition. It's God's will. Only Trump doesn't know that, cos Trump is God so lost in Trump/not-God that Trump is the biggest devil God has created in the dream. Eckhart Tolle as a person just reflects God's true nature more than Trump. A lot more. That's all. And therefore you could also say that Eckhart Tolle is more free, has more free will. Cos his persona/ego is so aligned with God's nature that Tolles' thoughts and decisions are happenings created by God real-time, while Trump is a somewhat predetermined, done, created Devil that God no longer has "control" of (except of course he still does, he just forgot that he chose to lose control by his own will ;-) )

Meaning is use. Wittgenstein taught us the limits of language. It ain’t what you say, it’s the way that you say it, and the context in which you say it. Words are how you use them. Are we even talking about the same thing, when we use the words "liberation", "satori", "permanent enligthenment" etc.? Anyway, there is no god damn operator. That's the illusion. There is nothing to remove! All there is to do is to see through the illusion. No virus to remove. However, of course, I speak here in absolute terms. Relatively speaking, even Peter Ralston -- who claims to have permanent enlightenment/satori, whatever that means -- still has ambitions, goals, a wife, certain preferences and survival-needs. He still eats food. He still teaches/helps people. If I call out his name: "Peter, there is a bear behind you!!" he will (if he trusts me) react to my yelling and turn around. How can Peter Ralston do all these things? Only if he still sees himself as a person, i.e. still has an ego that wants to survive and thrive, even though it may survive and thrive in a very conscious, loving, light-hearted and selfless way (these 4 markers are the ones I use to decide how enlightened/liberated a person is). There is no ego, not before, and not after englithenment. It's just an illusion - like everything else - and only that differs: Before you weren't aware, after enlightenment you are. You have woken up. But Peter Ralston -- even after his "permanent" satori -- still functions as though he has one to protect, just as all living human beings do, Jesus, Trump, Buddha included. You will object and say "The body responds by itself. You as Consciousness can ‘sit back, relax and enjoy the show’. Turns out God is an excellent driver." But aren't you just creating more dualistic baggage now by making this statement? I mean look at the average Joe in the streets of New York. He isn't enlightened. He has no conception of the Truth that he is God/Consciousness and that everything in life is dream/illusion. Right? But there still is no ego within this Joe. Joe is just God running around fooling himself to be not-God, but Joe! There is no Joe! No ego. Yet he still runs around doing stuff, having a job, buying gifts to his GF, eating food. Just as Peter Ralston does! So what the fuck is the actual difference? Both Peter Ralston and Joe are living human beings -- and by that defintion alone -- they both act like they have an ego! The only *real difference* between the two is that Ralston KNOWS that he is playing a game, that he is in actuality God acting out Peter Ralston, while Joe believes he REALLY is Joe, and that life is a veeery serious thing. Or in other words: Peter Ralston knows that he himself, Peter Ralston, the ego, is imaginary/a joke, while Joe takes his own ego for granted. This is to me satori/enlightenment/awakening. Simply knowing that the ego doesn't exist, only God does (which is what you are). Ralston says: and: Isn't it funny how Ralston contradicts himself? First he says that he is in a constant state of satori. Then later the says that no state is satori. hahaha "The body responds by itself. You as Consciousness can ‘sit back, relax and enjoy the show’. Turns out God is an excellent driver." The body has always responded by itself. It did so before enlightenment and it does so after. Everything is God's will. Nothing changes with enlightenment, except that God now knows -- through the dream/form of a "person", e.g. Ralston -- that he is God and not Ralston. Ralston was and is just a joke, an imaginary being. But the imaginary being continues to live after enlightenment -- (unless of course you choose to commit actual biological sucide by hanging yourself or something, but that would be stupid imo, but each to one's own taste). Trust me, God/Infinite Consciousness always sits back and enjoys the show. Always. Even when God was an unenligthened jew in a concentration camp in Germany, God was enjoying the show. God is enjoying everything, cos everything is his will, his imagination, his creation, his love. Nothing is outside of God. Of You. God loves some drama. It's only funnier to him when he gets so lost he forgets his God a whole human life. Nothing is more exciting. Of course it's also exciting to finally turn 360 degrees (when the human dies) and remember that it was just a joke. Puh, what a relief. I'm still God! Yay. Next drama, hmm, maybe Trump? Maybe Leo Gura? Of course when God wakes up within the dream through a limited human mind, the dream of that human person gets more relaxed, loving, light and conscious. In other words that limited human mind reflects more of God's real nature than other "normal"/"unenlightened" minds. And God likes that too. God likes it all man. --------------- Anyway, lastly I will just return to Mr. Wittgenstein and come up with the following idea: Could it be that what Ralston calls "permanent satori" is something Leo Gura, for instance, reached long, long, long ago. Maybe to Ralston it is just the "trivial" knowledge/awareness of being God/of Ralston being imaginary. And then what Leo Gura calls "omniscience" during some deep 5-MeO-DMT trips is something Ralston believes he also has "seen" but in fact has not? Could that be? If Ralston calls his permanent state of satori a state of no-ego. Then what does he man by no-ego? An an unenligthened dude also has no ego? So what's the difference? Ego is illusion, remember? What does Ralston really mean by "permanent satori"? Only he knows. That's my point. To explain such a subjective state precisely with words is impossible. And as I said, the imaginary ego still functions. If I kill Ralston's wife, he will still get mad and sad at me. I'm not doubting that a second, and I'm glad he will be that. Not being mad or sad at me for killing his wife would be borderline psychopathic. Look, Jesus was sad too when he was hanging at the cross. This masculine idea of permanent enlightenment being a state of no-ego, no feelings, no preferences, total independence, no goals, no wishes, nothing.. it's just so immature and reflects a deep lack of real insight into the human condtion/reality/God. God wants to play. Let's play. And if God wants to play a human being striving for becoming completely dead by not having any ambitions at all, then let's play that too. Sounds boring to my ego, but hey, who am I to judge?

A dude living in a cabin in the woods would still have some ambitions. Such as an ambition for surviving: getting water and food. Absolute zero ambitions is where you commit biological suicide. But yes, I agree. I think ambitions is "good" though:-)

@Meta-Man The serious brutal eality of death you say. Well, isn't death an illusion? What's really dying during a peak mystical experiance? Nothing. The curtains are just being lifted, right? "Hehe. See, the driver of awakening is suffering." I agree. At least in the beginning - or perhaps later. But you can get past then and experience blissfull ego deaths later on. "What really matters is the Light of Consciousness. Life, while it is entertaining, is like a distraction. " I can sympathize with that, sure. "Funny how Ralston cut down Leo’s assertion that ‘permanent satori/kensho’ is not possible, except for short flashes. " Did Ralston do that? Link? It depends on what you mean by satori/kensho. If you define it as being able to 24/7 see the dream for what it is: dream/God's play, then I surely say that's possible. If you define it as "having no ego", then how come you will still respond to someone calling out your name? See my point is merely, that being a human being entails that you keep your ego/persona. However, sure, you can be loving, conscious, selfless, light permanently. Let's define that as permanent satori/kensho/enlightenment, shall we? Then doing peak mystical experiences you can actually experience brief complete ego-death experiences. That's another thing. But if you want to keep that 24/7 then you're not alive, but death. And I mean physical biological brain-death, not able to respond to any stimulus. "To me my happiness is directly proportional to how little of a person/somebody I am. The less I am, the more I AM." Haha. Well I can sympathize with that, too. However, be wary of the spiritual ego. If you define yourself as having little to no ego, then you simultaneously in another way also define yourself as having a big spiritual ego=D "With a little wisdom you would know that’s not reality" Well, look at healthy children (4-5 year olds for instance). They have zero clue that they're God. Yet they seem happy. However, while writing this, I also realize that in some ways small kids also - unconsciously - know/live as though they were Gods, so yeah...:D "What I can say is that awakening is what we all seek, knowingly or unknowingly. We long for what we fear the most, paradoxically. That’s the human dilemma." I fully agree with this statement, actually. But we should also consider that some people may reach some kinds of awakening in subtle ways that are not clear for the outside perceiver. Hell, maybe some people can't even put it into words like you and I do. Nice weekend to you too <3 Feels like we have had a somewhat fruitful discussion so far. Rare.

Also a last point: You gotta consider what the fuck the point of life is. I already said it is simply just to live. That may be one way to look at it. A more in-depth way to look at it may be to say that the point of life is to be happy. How can anyone fucking disagree with that statement? Enjoy life. Do whatever it takes to make yourself happy. To me -- and I believe for most people, but cannot be sure -- my happiness is often directly proportional to how conscious a person I am. But hey, maybe some people can have zero clue that they're God and still live a happy life? Seems totally plausible to me. Just as it seems totally plausible to me that you may have a sad life even though you're aware that you're God. Yes, nothing matters at all, absolutely speaking. But love man. Love. <3 <3 To pursue enlightenment with the goal of becoming a depressed monk living completely alone in a cave in the mountains for the rest of your life seems beyond retarded to me. Beyond, man. If "final" enlightenment in the end makes someone depressed and sad, I'm sorry that they chose to pursue it. They should not have done it then, in my humble, humble view. Be happy. The end. Love.

I gotta be brutally honest with you here. But your seriousness around this topic very clearly shows me that you have a lot to learn still=D Sure, seriousness is necessary if you want to go down the path towards awakening. But once you finally "get there" you should be light as a feather. And you seem a bit heavy to me, bro, even though you act like you're the smartest sage around town. First of all, yes, you are right. People often think ego-death is always a walk in the park. And I agree, often it can feel just a brutal as a near-death-experience where you were resurrected by some doctors. However, from what I have gathered, heard, learned and directly experienced myself, the experience of ego-death can differ remarkably. It can differ in how deep it is (there are infinite depths to ego-death). Secondly, it can differ in how it is felt. It can either be easy peasy to go into ego-death-space or it can be brutal as fuck. I believe it depends on how calm and able you are to surrender. If you have a hard time surrendering, cos you're clingy, low-conscious and a "bad" person, and not at peace with yourself: expect a bumpy ride. If you're naturally at peace with yourself and have an easy time surrendering: expect bliss from the get-go. :-) Yes, you could say that awakening is something that radically changes everything. However, the opposite is just a true: Nothing is changed. I hope you are also aware of that. Anyway, you fall into the trap of mixing absolute truths with relatvistic truths. And it always tilts me as fuck when people do that, and shows me they're still big n00bs ;D (I consider my self a noob by the way, lot to learn still). Of course, absolutely speaking, yes, for instance, time and death are seen to be illusions. But so is everything else. Life/reality is seen to be a dream. An imagination. An illusion. So not only is time and death imganiry, so is your body, your thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, the whole external world. But as I said, it's pointless to "discuss" absolute truths. Totally freaking pointless. Either you get it (because you've directly seen it) or you don't. Simply as that. Instead, what we can do, is discuss the relativstic truths inside the dream. How does the dream function? Time seems to be an important aspect of the dream. So does death. So does the external world, feelings, thoughts, the body. Right? :-) And same goes for the so-called "ego". "Ego" to me is - by the way - 100% synonymous with the word "person" (most of the time, the words can soometimes mean slightly different things when used in special contexts). Anyway, yes, the persons/egoes, you, Meta-Man, me as WaveInTheOcean, they are - absolutely speaking - illusions just like time and death are. However, relativistically speaking -- in speaking of how the dream works -- they are very real. Just as real as trees in the woods and cars on the subway. To contrast this, let's imagine a dragon flying around belching fire. To believe such a dragon exist on Earth -- relativistaclly speaking -- is to me a false belief. But to believe a tree exist, or that I as a person exist, is perfectly geniune beliefs , relativistically speaking. To believe a dragon really exist - outside books and film - serves no real purpose other than play and fun. To believe I exist as a person, WaveInTheOcean, serves a big purpose, namely it helps me to survive and continue on in the dream, among other things. Anyway, the point of all my rambling is, in order to function as a human being -- whether within society or in a cave in the mountains -- you have to believe that you exist as a person. My real point is that it is completely utterly retarded to view "real persistent enlightenment" as a permanent stage of "no-ego/no-self/no-person". Completely utterly retarded. And I'm glad @Leo Gurahas finally realized this, lol However, in another context, if we talk of "no-ego" in terms of: "very loving", "very conscious", "extreme selflessness", "very light-hearted", then we're talking about an entirely different thing. I view these attributes as very important markers of how enlightened/awake you are. And obviously, both you and me have a looooong way to go, right pal? If not, let's agree to disagree. Have a wonderful the rest of your Saturday. I think I have made my point here <3

I get what you mean. Awakening is a suicide of the ego, the feeling of being a self. Yes. But let's differentiate between that -- ego-death -- and then *actual physical biological suicide* which was what I was refering to. I'm sorry to hear that. Well, I guess there are two ways you can go when you become seriously awoke to the reality that you're God and that nothing matters. 1. Go back and help people / have fun / live consciously with your knowledge 2. Kill yourself physically, biologically (or perhaps just socially by going into the woods to live alone). I'm sure many dudes have chosen option 2. And I don't blame them. Option 1 just seems so much more fun to me. Why hurry up the death process? We all know our bodies are gonna die at some point anyway. To me, Alan Watts very obviously chose option 1. He had fun. He toured around USA talking. He digged talking like birds like to sing. Then late in his life, when his body and brain was beginning to naturally rotten, he grew tired of life obviously. He didn't really want to live anymore. And again, I can't blame him. I myself have no real hopes of getting past the 60's (25 atm), and I'll surely do something risky to make sure I'll not reach 80 at least. Watts did the same. Instead of just commiting plain suicide, which his family and friends probably would find awful (he knew that), he just chose to dull himself and slowly kill himself with the bottle. And again, I fully understand him. At some point you have seen enough of life. You're tired of it. Better let new fresh eyes see the world anew again!

"Awaken and you’ll understand. " To go live in a cabin in the woods for the rest of your life is equal to committing suicide for me. To do it momentarily (months/years) to deepen ones enligthenment = an entirely different thing for me. "What it means to LIVE, is very subjective." , Indeed, my dear friend, indeed. And I'm glad there is someone who is laughing here. Dear friend, aren't you -- and in a very obvious way even -- contradicting yourself here? To me - subjectively speaking - I would rather die an alcoholic than die alone out in a cabin in the woods

What is life/reality? It's a dream within God's mind, imagined by God, seen by God, created by God, created out of God. God = Consciousness = You = I = Love = Absolute Infinity Now, why does God dream/incarnate as a dog/cat/Human? Because it's fun to forget yourself. And you will always get back to your real being - God - when you die. The more twisted and lost you get in the role/dream, the more fun it is to get back to yourself at least. It's like when you read a good book or watch a good movie: some times during the reading/watching you can become so extremely identified with the persons in the film/book that you forget you're watching/reading a book/movie. When the person gets a sword through his stomach in the movie you may for a blink of a second feel that you also get that sword through your stomach. When the movie ends you are excited and relived: Oh it was just a film, oh god, haha, what a film! What is the point of life? To live. So simple. The point is not to wake up/realize your God doing your dreaming. It is a possibility that this can happen for some human beings. And it can be lots of fun to realize you're God within the dream itself. But it's not "better" than living a whole life, not realizing it. It's just a different type of experience. Sure, when you realize you're God within the dream it gives you knowledge, wisdom and power to influence the dream more (exercise more free will within the dream beyond the will behind the creation of the dream itself). I have always found Leos idea of "hey, I may close everything down and go live in a cabin in the woods for the rest of my life" silly and unmature. Why the hell do that? Sure, I can see the point in going on some long retreats to deepen ones God-realization. It can always be deepened, because God is Infinite Consiousness, and the human life is limited. So it's a never ending development. But do it for the rest of your life? Why? In God's name, why? The point of life is TO LIVE. And sure, it can be nice to live while knowing you're God. But when you know you're God, then for God's sake, go live. Teach, help other people, get lost (consciously) in loving relationships, do something for Earth/society, make an impact, have fun! That's also why I have always found Alan Watts to be one of the most awakened dudes on this planet. This guy knew what's up. And he lived life. Also look at Jesus and Buddha. When they become God-realized, they didn't leave society behind. They came back and wanted to help and change the world for the better. Anyway. So when you within the dream remember that you're God and not the form of the dream, sure, it is obviously God himself remembering he is not form, but God. But he does that "remembering" >>>through a form<<<. And I will just say that I do believe that this remembering through form is only possible through the human form (at least on Earth). Why? Because humans on Earth seem to be the only form/species where God --within that form-- have completely forgotten that he is God. Look at a cat. God -- through the cat -- has obviously not forgotten he is God. Thus he can't wake up to realize he is God, cos the God -- through the cat -- is already "aware" of the fact that the cat is God. You see? But because God -- through the cat -- is already aware of its Godhood, God is simultaneously not aware of it. It's like a man being born blind never seeing light his whole life. Does the man <know> what darkness is? Obviously not! Precisely because darkness is all he has ever seen, he does not know <what it is>, cos he has no opposite of it to contrast it with (light/colour). God -- through a human being -- sees the light all the time (light = ego/existence/separation/form). Thus God -- through the human -- forgets that its true nature is "darkness" (= God). But God can -- if he wants to, through the human form -- close his eyes and look inward and find the darkness, he once forgot. And thus -- if God does that through the human form -- God can see that darkness is light, light is darkness. I.e.: ego/form is God, God is ego/form: he is God, God is him. In other words, because God -- only through the human form -- is able to "know" the opposite of God -- ego/separation/form -- he is thus also able to, rarely, know himself: God. "Father Ocean, hear my song You're the wave I was made from Take me back to where we once began And tell, my love, how I went wrong Years I've tried to be someone Could it be your darkness holds the key? When we close our eyes we may begin to see... Father Ocean, hear my song You're the place where I belong Now take me back to where we once began Ocean Father, I was wrong Years I've followed just the sun But now I see your darkness holds the key And then I close my eyes and I begin to see When we were alone." <<<<<< He wants to go back to the beginning. To emptiness. Before time. Before form, before life. To the universal consciousness that exists behind all appearances. Behind all masks. (‘persona’ in Latin = ‘mask’). You could call it death. But death implies life. Life implies death. You cannot have “up” without “down” and vice versa. In order to really live life, you have to also know death. 'Life' is dualistic, inherently. But 'being' is non-dualistic, inherently. Much of his life he has chased the “goodness” of life. The next achievement. The next dopamine kick. The next “golden nugget”. Now, he has become tired of this process, this constant hunt. He wants to regain what he once lost. The knowledge of who he really is. "But now I see your darkness holds the key And then I close my eyes and I begin to see When we were alone." ----- He realizes that in order to understand who – or what – he really is, he has to cast himself into the darkness. Turn inward, look inside. “He closes his eyes” = he finally goes inside himself. There he sees ‘real being’. He sees that before himself as a person, there was (and is) just pure universal consciousness. God. Infinity. Nothingness. Love. He realizes he truly is everything. There is only ‘oneness’. And that can feel a lot like being completely alone. But it can also evoke deep feelings of love, this deep realization of the interconnectedness of all things. You see that you are the other person and that the other person is you. >>>>>>

My point is. To say "I am God and everything is God" and "God is Love, Infinite Consciousness, Nothingess" etc etc All these statements are Absolute. You can't argue about them. You can't make arguments for the statements. You just either know it or you don't. Only way to know it is through DIRECT EXPERIENCE. Good. Now we are here in this forum. Hopefully we shouldn ot discuss whether our true selves are God or not. We should discuss some aspects of life that are related to this absolute knowing. And in discussions you have to use your thinking mind, you have to be logical, dualistic, rational. Don't mix absolute statements with casual dualistic discussions here. Casual dualistic discussions have their purpose. For example, do you get laid by being needy or unneedy? We can discuss that without saying "I am God, the girl is God. You don't need anything"

Read the rest of my post and you should get it. In an absolutely sense, yes everything is identical. You are Me, God, Cat. Etc. But we are discussing the dualistic/rational nuances of life here. Of whether or not other animals than human beings can become God-realized/enlightened. So stop fucking around and acting retarded:-) It's funny how this spiritual jerk-off-forum often gets used in retarded ways. Like: people blindly believe Leo: "Yes I know I am God, cos Leo says so, and I believe him. So I know it" and then they start using non-dualistic/absolutistic arguments for everything. It's just being dumb. We are discussing the dualistic qualities of the dream of life here. Discussing the non-dualistic qualities of God/Being is impossible. We can only point to them through dualistic language. So anyway, where were we? Oh yes. Your post. "Maybe God is the cause of both our thoughts and actions" of course, duhh. You are God. Leave this forum and get that. Then come back "After all, how can you attribute those qualities to a cat - all your judgement is based on its actions only?" Well, all our judgments/thinking -- both urs and mine and Leos -- are always based on an external world we never have direct acces to (unless in a deep meditative/psychedelic state perhaps). So your statement here is equal to saying: "You are saying the sky is blue, but does the sky really have a colour?" In one sense the sky doesn't have a colour. In another sense it does. "Maybe the cat is contemplating itself through you, via the medium of consciousness/God?" May be.

It's really quite simple. Yes, cats have no ego like humans do. Yet they still have a survival-ego-like-mechanisms built into it's brain like any living social animal has. (And cats are social animals to some degree, yet much less than apes and humans). A cat doesn't ponder why it exists. It doesn't really have a strong sense of self. It just does stuff very automatically without any reflection. Humans ain't like that. We consider our existence. We reflect a lot into what we do and what happens to us. No other animal does that. Not even dolphins or apes. So a cat may be a great teacher. It is a mirror for us humans of how to live life without any real ego. Yet, what is the opposite of God/Unity? ... Answer: Ego. Separation. You cannot have up without down. And vice versa. You cannot define what up is, unless you also know what down is. And vice versa. In precisely the same way, because human beings are the _only animals_ on Earth that feel separated/have a strong ego, they are also the only animals capable of realizing God. Our bread and butter/our natural condition is: *ego/separation*. No other animal has that as their "bread and butter". They only have survival. Because we humans have ego/separation as our basic condition - we "know" we exist, we know we are separated - we are also the only animals capable of realizing the opposite of that: God/Infinite Consciousness/Unity/Love/Nothingness. You can't have up without down. A blind-born man will never know what "darkness" is because he has never seen light. You get it? In precisely the same way, dear gentlemen, you cannot have "no free will" without also having "free will". Free will is a question of how conscious you are. Most people are robots stuck in the hamster wheel of society: they have 0 to very little amount of free will. The more aware - the higher the planes of consciousness you get to - you become of things like your ego, your true self and reality, the more free will you can exercise. (I really want you guys to watch Devs on HBO Nordic. Last episode is freaking amazing film man). So yeah, cats or mules for that matter, they may be God like everything else is, sure, (absolutely speaking). But they will never realize/know it, like we humans are capable of doing. Most humans right now will never realize they are God. And therefore they will also not really realize that they exist either, hehe;) (and thus have very limited free will as well). If more persons started to really dive into this natural human condition of existing as a separate entity/ego, they would become depressed as fuck. I have been depressed as fuck (I made plans 2 years ago how to kill my self, but love for my family denied me in the last minutes). You can't know what true love/happiness is unless you also know what the opposite is: deep depression. And vice versa. But who wants to become depressed? No one. In this time of age, you have to fucking happy all the time. Feel a little down? Can't have that, take an SSRI and get back in the wheel man! So we constantly distract ourselves from realizing that we are deeply separated and alone. And thus we also distract ourselves from realizing that what we REALLY are is: God. So yeah, human beings are the only animals on Earth capable of realizing God. I agree with Leo. Cats may be a "form" / "appearance" / "animal" deliberately put into the dream of life -- by You/God through the means of evolution as a tool for understanding/creating the dream -- to let us humans know what an enlightened life could look like (in some ways). My point is: Cats are enlightened beings in one sense (they act without a human-like ego). And in another sense they are not enligthened at all, cus they don't know they exist = they don't know they are God. Also a cat will do anything to survive by the way. It's very selfish just like basically all humans are:-) But selfishness becomes Love when you widen your definition of "who you are". If you constrict your sense of self to your own body/skin-encapsulated ego, then you are naturally extremely selfish in a "bad" way. If you widen your sense of self to everything and everyone, then you are still extremely selfish, just in a loving/conscious way:-) A cat will never widen it's sense-of-self like some humans are capable of doing. (except maybe beyond its kittens if it's a female cat). (Btw when I say animals don't know they exist, I don't mean they can't feel pain. Of course they can. It's You/God feeling pain when you see a cow mourn for it's new-born calf that has just been taken away from her.)

I would have linked the non-remix version of Father Ocean. My mistake. And Leo has a silly rule that means I can't edit fast (have to wait years it feels like).

Dear folks/spirits/souls/Gods Just sharing some random stuff. I stumbled upon this song yesterday. And the lyrics blew me away. They me blew my so much away that I had to write down my thoughts on the meaning of them before I could come back to life. This forum is about spirituality, right? So I thought I would share. Happy Sunday. Oh also btw, @Leo Gura and everyone. Watch "Devs" on HBO. A science-fiction mini-series created by Alex Garland. 1st episiode is great. 2-7 is decent. Last episiode, 8, is a masterpiece. Honestly, the last episode of Devs, is hands down the best hour of film I've ever watched in my life. Alex Garland - the person behind Ex Machina which is also a masterpiece - is a genius. The Stanley Kubrick of our times. The series, especially the ending, is very spiritual in ways I won't go into detail about here. Just f'cking watch it. Anyway, the song right. Here is my interpretation of the song: This song seems very spiritual. “Father Ocean” could be a metaphor for God. It could also be a metaphor for “the Shadow” according to Jung’s theory about the human psyche. Jung thought that one of the most important tasks for a person was to integrate his or her Shadow. Lastly, it could also be a metaphor for Jung’s idea of a “collective unconscious”. "You're the wave I was made from" ----- An ocean is vast. An ocean has many waves. The human global society is vast. It has many people. On the surface we all seem separated from each other. However, in truth, we may all be connected, we may all be ‘one’, just in the same way that all waves in an ocean are all interconnected and all part of the ocean. In fact, the wave IS the ocean. 'The wave is something the whole ocean is doing, just in the same way that ‘you’ is something the whole universe is doing.' (- Loosely quoted from Alan Watts). "Could it be your darkness holds the key?" ----- 'It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure. The very cave you are afraid to enter turns out to be the source of what you are looking for.' - Joseph Campbell "Now take me back to where we once began Ocean Father I was wrong Years I followed just the sun" ----- He wants to go back to the beginning. To emptiness. Before time. Before form, before life. To the universal consciousness that exists behind all appearances. Behind all masks. (‘persona’ in Latin = ‘mask’). You could call it death. But death implies life. Life implies death. You cannot have “up” without “down” and vice versa. In order to really live life, you have to also know death. 'Life' is dualistic, inherently. But 'being' is non-dualistic, inherently. Much of his life he has chased the “goodness” of life. The next achievement. The next dopamine kick. The next “golden nugget”. Now, he has become tired of this process, this constant hunt. He wants to regain what he once lost. The knowledge of who he really is. "But now I see your darkness holds the key And then I close my eyes and I begin to see When we were alone." ----- He realizes that in order to understand who – or what – he really is, he has to cast himself into the darkness. Turn inward, look inside. “He closes his eyes” = he finally goes inside himself. There he sees ‘real being’. He sees that before himself as a person, there was (and is) just pure universal consciousness. God. Infinity. Nothingness. Love. He realizes he truly is everything. There is only ‘oneness’. And this can feel a lot like being completely alone. But it can also evoke deep feelings of love, this deep realization of the interconnectedness of all things. You see that you are the other person and that the other person is you. <3 <3 <3

"The question 'why,' because it can be asked interminably, never leads to any interesting answers. If you ask me then why am I proposing this, I could say, 'Well, I'm making a living this way, or I have a message I want to get across to you.' But that's not the reason. I am talking for the same reason that birds sing and the stars shine. I dig it. Why do I dig it? I could go on answering all sorts of questions about human motivation and psychology, but they wouldn't explain a thing, because explaining things by the past is really a refusal to explain them at all. All you're doing is postponing the explanation. You're putting it back and back and back and that explains nothing." ~Alan Watts The point of life is life itself. Being a human. Doing great and stupid things out of an endless sea of possiblities. Out of love. When you wake up - -i.e. realize life is a dream -- there are no reasons to look down on the game or leave it behind (either physically by suicide or socially by going out in the woods/mountains to live in isolation ((even that is a game in itself)). There are no reason to judge people playing the game very seriously. They are great actors! Give them instead an applause for their great acting skills. You've always been an actor. You' ve just forgot it. You got so into the role of playing X, Y, Z that you forgot it was a role. Waking up is just the simple 'remembering' of being an actor, playing. Actor = God / Nothingness Role = Your ego Now that you've waken up to this reality - i.e. that life is a dream/game - you can still play it! And now you can play it endlessly more free than before. You will now be more open in your playing in constrast to your more constricted, closed-minded nature of playing before. Since you simultaneously realize that everything is one/You/'I'/God, your nature of playing will in most cases be more loving and passionate than before. Listening to music is at same time the most meaningless and most meaningful experience you can have as a human. Likewise is playing an instrument, say the piano. If you tell people "life is a game", most people will react in a negative way and say that you're just fooling around. But is a great pianist playing a great piece in a concert hall fooling around? No. He is most likely playing the piano very sincerely. Playing the piano is a game. But you can play it sincerly. So should you, awakened human being. Play life, not seriously, not foolishly, but sincerely Obviously my post reflects a lot of my inspiration from Alan Watts. Some people judge Watts and say "he wasn't really awakened, he killed himself being an alcoholic in his later years." I beg to differ. I find Watts to be one of the most awakened dudes I've ever come across. Sure, play the game sincerely until you get tired of it. Alan Watts obviously got rather tired of the game in his 50's, and instead of commiting directly suicide, he went to the bottle to dull his experience and slowly kill him. At some point you have to get rid of the old eyes to let new, fresh eyes experience everything anew. Children are so playful, engaged, passionate and interested in everything, because everything is new and fresh to their eyes. At some point we get so caught up in the game of being an adult, that we forget this playful "divine" energy. Hopefully, by one way or the other, most people will in their adult lives regain this playful energy at some point - let it be through psychedelics or any other way. See you out in the dream =) Let's play sincerly That is the most fun. Like, if you gather people to play a board game of some kind, it's only really fun if everyone takes the game "seriously" (i.e. they play sincerely with the goal of "winning"). It's not lots of fun if some people give zero fucks or ruins the game. Likewise, it's also not fun if someone are cheating or playing overly seriously, like getting very mad and aggresive as a result of not winning. It's a delicate balance. Life as a human being is a very complex game. The most complex game I know. The objective is not clearly listed anyware. Going over to a bit of existentialist philosophy, you sort of create your own goals/meanings. However, as we are all humans, we are all more or less bound to some basic human conditions, like getting food, the need of social contact etc. The rest is up to you. I suggest you do not intentionally: - ruin the game for "others" by being a mean egoistic bastard - take it all too seriously - give no fucks about it, even though it's ultimately meaningless (like any game is). Instead, as I said, I suggest you intentionally: - play sincerely. :> One of my old problems has always been the philosophical problem of free will. Is the world deterministic? Is it indeterministic? Do I have any degree of free will, or am I puppet being pulled by long cause-effect-chains with some quantum randomness mixed into it? What do I mean when I use the word "I" in the question "Do I have free will?" ??? I have come to realize that: 1. Ultimately speaking, I = An actor = God = Nothingness = You 2. Therefore I have free will, I'm God for f'cks sake. Yet I don't have complete free will, as relatively speaking, my experience is right now limited to being a human, and the question of free will has to be contextualized in some way, namely the human way. 3. Many things are determined, yet some things I decide on the fly. /rant off.

If everyone and everything is God, than the fact that 99,9999% people don't know they're God must be precisely what God wants - just as every other fact is a matter of God's preference. One may ask why he doesn't want to know himself, the answer may be: play . fun. kicks. . hide n seek . that in order to know himself, he simultaneously also need to not know himself. u cant have one state without the other. “And finally, you would dream where you are now. You would dream the dream of living the life that you are actually living today. That would be within the infinite multiplicity of the choices you would have. Of playing that you weren’t God. Because the whole nature of the godhead, according to this idea, is to play that he’s not. “So in this idea, then, everybody is fundamentally the ultimate reality. Not God in a politically kingly sense, but God in the sense of being the self, the deep-down basic whatever there is. And you’re all that, only you’re pretending you’re not. ” - Alan Watts

MDMA is a social drug I'd say. Taken with friends it can have the potential to you get to open up A LOT and talk about things that will heal you and 'enlighten' by the very act of talking about them. It can to some extent show you what unconditional love is. What deep empathy feels like. Taken at a party you will have a hell of a time and really feel connected to everything and people especially, but hey, you could so too without it I suppose. Taken with a pscyhotherapist, MDMA has been shown to be able to cure PTSD, and will soon be launched in the US as a treament-option for PTSD-sufferes.

It's not something YOU can bring about by will. You don't exist in the first place. I can tell myself "I don't have blue eyes" , but I still identify as a person having blue eyes. I can tell myself "I don't exist", but I still deep down believe and feel I exist as -insert-name- You have to directly experience that you don't exist as a body. How do you bring about such a direct experience? I can't say, but I've heard meditation and/or psychedelics can work. Psychedelics have surely worked for me.