Flowerfaeiry

@Angelite I was going to, thank you for the reminder: ) it contains words that relate to some of my strengths, such as appreciating beauty, creativity and curiosity.

I remember now

Personally I don't recommend protein powders as a regular thing. They are okay occasionally but they are all processed food product for the most part. Some people put beans directly in their smoothies. Pea protein is a thing people like but I still don't feel super great about it as its highly processed. I like to put nut butter in my smoothies sometimes but don't do that all the time as I have read that aerated fats are not good in the body. Try to go for a protein powder that has as few ingredients as possible.

You're off to a good start and asking some of the right questions. In my experience, finding the optimal diet seems to be a personal thing that you discover through trial and error. There is SO much conflicting information out there. Aside from all the bullshit I can say that getting food as local and as fresh as possible is one pretty solid principle. Farmers markets are great if you have any near you.

@Jed Vassallo holy cow! That is intense. It's good you weren't traumatized or anything. Thank you for sharing.

I have had two dreams with Leo in them. Both of them had the theme of me going into his house, or seeing his daily life, and having the realization that not even he has his life together. I'm pretty sure that was me realizing that I had idolized him thinking he was so perfect, forgetting that he is a human with flaws as well. Which is something I do with teachers or people I look up to.

@The Lucid Dreamer My grandpa died and then came back to life and he had no experience. My family says that when my great-grandpa died he saw angels and a lot of light. They were catholic.

Or if we die in a violent or scary situation?

@JustThinkingAloud I think that as soon as one knows a thing, they can go and do it. It's not someone reaches a point of knowing a certain amount and then they're like "ok I'm ready." Actually I think that for someone self-actualizing what will happen is they will get so sick of consuming information that they will start to take action. As the consumption of information can become a sort of addiction.

I've heard this too. Also doing dream work can help with that apparently.

Thank you. I've had mystical experiences, but I still don't think I really understand my true nature.

love. I am going to have a ceremony in a few months. I have a similar "intention"

Asian restaurants have some relatively healthy stuff. Sushi is a really good, probably the best option. Vietnamese restaurants have some pretty healthy and fresh stuff too with minimal ingredients. But unless you live in an area that has good Asian food you might be out of luck. Honestly, eating out isn't very healthy because restaurants, unless you go to a specifically "health-focused" one, use a lotttt of oil, salt and cheap ingredients. Then it's cooked in high heat which adds to the unhealthful qualities of the food. When you do go out just do it rarely and always get stuff that is fresh, not many ingredients, not super greasy etc.

I’ve been realizing that I have spent my entire self-help “career” taking on others’ teachings blindly. My parents have always kinda been into this sort of stuff and I just took it on without thinking twice about it. Im at a sort of cross roads now, actually. Realizing this recently, I’m second guessing if I even want to be doing this work, as I’m suffering so much and I’m tired of not fitting in and everything is just horrible. I guess in a way I feel I’ve seen too much, and now there’s no going back. But I’ve been having inkings that maybe I do want to give up, and live a normal life, no more of this seeking. Ignorance is bliss, I guess.

@DoubleYou I’ve been thinking about that too! But then I worry, I don’t want to lose everything I’ve worked for! So it’s kind of a two sided deal, I both want to give up and don’t want to haha. But I really have been trying to work with this idea of just letting go of all the ideas I have about myself, total transformation is upon me.

Thank you, this comment feels like a breath of fresh air

@JakeyAwakey Wow, this is incredibly insightful and spot on, you are psychic.

Haha I’m in the same boat. I think I’ve been putting the cart before the horse this whole time... ugh

@Nickyy yea that’s the thing with studies, they have to be technical. I read part of it and noted the part about cannabis which I find relatable in my situation because, I actually was using cannabis heavily during my binges. I think this study is really important though, while we can’t rule out the use of cannabis as being the cause of the memory loss, it’s hard to believe that my memory loss and paranoia is related to solely cannabis, and it seems more likely to be a combination of the two. I did find a bunch of studies that say they don’t know the long term affects of heavy usage, and also that MDMA is safe. But I’m not buying it, I’ve seen it mess with people and it messed with me. I think we can’t just look to studies. Sure these people may have been smoking cannabis, drunk or on something else, but those things alone don’t necessarily cause the devastation that can happen when MDMA is added into the equation. So after all this, I don’t know. I would have a hard time believing that someone who abuses MDMA for a period of time will experience no negative effects, but that’s because it seriously wrecked me so I’m going off my personal experience.

of course haha. how about this study? It's interesting looking into this. I'm sure I could dig up a lot more if i spent the time. I think it's also valid to note that not a whole lot has been done in the way of studying the effects of heavy usage on humans. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1525102/ Personally, I experienced significant memory loss and trouble retaining information after my abuse, I also experienced paranoia which I noticed was directly caused by the MDMA. There are others like me, too.

I questioned your story's validity, and went on to say that everyone is different. I'm not dismissing, solely questioning. Why are you dismissing my direct experience? You are biased too, can't get around that. And just because you and people you know didn't experience brain damage doesn't mean it doesn't happen.. I was part of the rave scene for a little too, not the early, hardcore rave scene, but I've raved a good amount in my life. My experience with MDMA sounds different from yours in the sense that I went on binges, doing it almost every day for months at a time. It 100% fucked with my memory and I wasn't doing anything else crazy, just MDMA, pure shit. I'm also a woman, of small stature and have a low tolerance for drugs in general, all of which play a role.

MDMA is most often laced with meth, the type of brain damage associated with long term meth usage is different from what happens with misuse of MDMA. Plus, I'm more interested in discussing direct experience.

@Nickyy I don't believe you, haha. For four years you have done MDMA every weekend (consecutively) , and sometimes three nights a week, and mixed with other things and you have zero negative effects? MDMA tolerance builds up very quickly, so you will have to be taking more and more each weekend. As such you are putting massive amounts of the drug into your system. There comes a point, in my experience, that MDMA basically stops giving you a high, and only destroys your brain. This happens with repeated usage ie using every weekend. So yea, when you say every weekend for years, you must not mean that literally. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1071023/ They talk about the memory loss here. And there's all kinds of studies out there proving it. Of course, everyone is different and everyone will experience different responses to heavy usage, but just because you or no one else you know has experienced negative effects doesn't mean it doesn't happen. It's common to hear of people who abuse the drug to report memory loss, and I have first hand experience of it.

You're right, it's not a psychedelic. However it is an extremely dangerous drug. Memory loss is the biggest one. MDMA can be safe in very small doses, done very infrequently. Anyone who has done it for years without problems, I don't believe/want more information from. It basically heats up your brain, and does cause actual brain damage, whereas psychedelics do not. It's not really something to be messed with. When it is done often, in large doses and without much time in between it can really fuck with memory and information retention. It also has the potential to send someone off the deep end, ie. can cause very paranoid delusions in otherwise healthy individuals. It can take years and years, with intention, to heal from excessive MDMA usage, and one may not ever be the same again, like you mention. So yea, it's not a joke. Of course, everyone is different, a small person will react differently than a large person etc etc however the jist is the same, don't take the drug lightly.

There's your answer. But honestly, you could go the other way and be fine, too. Both will be learning experiences.