Flowerfaeiry

I feel like I’ve been in a dark night for the past six years. I have moments of happiness, but then am plunged back into the dark. I’m fighting it hard because I don’t want to give up.

So, he’s been psychotic for 7 months? And he’s still taking drugs? He won’t be able to heal unless he stops taking everything. Once he’s sober from all the substances, he needs to prioritize his health. In my opinion you can only help people to an extent, I would say, just be there for him (support and relationships is vital) and help him get off the drugs by reminding him about it.

Yes absolutely, I have. I find cats to be very enlightened animals. I had taken mushrooms and tapped into a cat’s consciousness by looking into his eyes. It was cool, it just felt like consciousness, it’s no different than staring into the eyes of a human in that sense. I find it easy to put myself in animals’ shoes and understand where they are coming from. Mostly cats and dogs but I can do it with other animals too. It does take practice and experience, however, and I am also careful because it can be easy to project human experience onto them.

@mikelyons sigh. You’re right.

@Dean Walker thank you, I am working on doing that

@Leo Gura super, thanks!

Dude just be careful with making people "gods" of sorts because you like their content. I did that too much. Also I totally feel you on the mental masturbation. I started implementing a lot more and OMG it's hard. It's so hard. This isn't something we can just listen to anymore, we really do have to do the work.

@Scholar Thank you for this. I have been working on acceptance.

Several years ago I attended my first meditation course. I had been into "spirituality" and self improvement for a few years before that, but absolutely nothing serious. In fact when I got back from the course my main takeaway was how much I was fooling myself with my fake practices. The other thing it showed me was how much suffering there is in life, and how much work I had left to do if I wanted to live a good life. Fast forward to today (about 7 years) and I am still in a very dark place. To be frank with you all, I don't think I'm doing enough. I do some, I meditate, journal, exercise. I've had profound experiences on psychedelics. My life is good and easy in the traditional sense. Nothing is really hard and everything on the outside is a walk in the park. In fact if I wanted it would be so easy to just skid by life like this... taking the easy way out. But I have this feeling that's part of the reason I'm suffering so much. I'm just not sure if that's the case with me... My childhood left me with a lot of scars that I've been trying to work through. I go to therapy. Everyone around me comforts me, they tell me that I just need to relax, to not be so hard on myself. I see progress but then there's just this nagging voice that tells me I could be doing so much more. Leo has some videos where he talks about stuff like this. Biting the bullet that self actualization will be hard. And I have a feeling that I just haven't bitten this bullet. But I just don't know. I mean, people around me are into "self improvement" enough, like they have their shit together fairly well. Setting some goals. They tell me I'm doing really good. But I'm just stuck on this idea that there is more. So much more. But here I am, not making the hard decisions, not taking chances, not doing what is emotionally difficult. I just like, ride the edge. Right before it gets too uncomfortable I bail and go onto the next exciting, promising thing. I guess I'm looking for advice, have you found this idea that you need to "bite the bullet" and just do what is hard, to be true? So many people around me tell me lots of things that make me think I'm doing good but I just don't feel like it. I'm not sure if it's because I'm hard on myself, or if I don't have enough friends that are into real personal development. So I'm here. Because Leo got it into my head that there is more out there, and I'm honestly questioning the validity of that as everyone around me doesn't seem to get it and I'm wondering if I'm overthinking his advice, or if I really do need to buck up and get ready to be uncomfortable. Thanks for reading : )

The real problems started when I got awakened to how much I was suffering after attending a meditation course. Haha. That’s when all this deep deep suffering began. Since then I’ve been clawing my way out slowly, and not without a massive fight. And I’m still not strong enough. Funnily enough, some of my most massive sufferings of late have been contrasted by huge feelings of bliss and happiness. Like, the work I’m doing is working, I’m catching glimpses of the light, but I’m still deep deep in the cave. I will look into the books you mention, I like the idea of running with my own kind of wolves, if I think I know what that means...follow my own path?

I know your teachings are male biased, I’ve wrestled with that before. I sometimes wonder if I’ve seen too much, in the sense that your videos have set the vision too high that I just collapse from inability to reach it. I’m working on taking small steps. Im glad to hear that they are still true regardless of the male bias, because that gives me hope that the things I see and the voices I hear are telling me something real.

Thank you, I would love to find a woman’s circle and get more in touch with that side of my path.

I do feel like Leo’s teachings are male biased but I think that the general message is the same. I have seen the videos, and I’ve wondered if they have “messed” with me in some ways, or if I’m really not strong enough. Actually the idea that there is a feminine side and masculine side to personal development is fucking with me because I’m like well, which one do I follow?? I see myself as very feminine, yet there is a masculine side in my that has been pushed down because it isn’t ladylike or whatever. And I’m so curious about that side, but also love exploring my feminine side too. Thank you for the love and support.

Thank you so much for your response. I’ve watched those videos of yours and I also finished the life purpose course. The course was amazing. It gave me so many tools. I was reading my values and goals every day and it was so amazing, the thought of my life’s purpose brings me to tears, and I am so grateful to you for that course. I stopped reading them every day. I got caught up in relationship drama, family drama. I am refusing the voice of God because I feel I am too weak. I’m looking to others for answers and wallowing in my sadness because I don’t feel strong enough to do what I need to do. And I don’t know, I guess I’m hoping that one day I will just bite the bullet but it’s hard. And that’s a really heavy thing for me to see in myself. Thank you again Leo.

I so crave for a deep connection. Someone who really understands me and the path I am on. I look for it in romantic partners and then get mad when they don’t understand. I do quite well on my own in the sense that, I can be physically alone and be happy. But as a whole, I don’t have anyone I can connect with and tell them stuff, I’ve tried with my partners and that was nice, it just, it’s different with a partner, and I’m tired of just making romantic connections in order to fulfill that need for a connection.

I don’t have my own sense of self. I look to others for answers on how to live my life, constantly comparing and matching myself up to what they are doing. I see a therapist and it helps a bit, I do need to take care of myself much more and better, that’s for sure. Thank you

@Matt8800 I love this perspective too, thank you so much, I’m going to look more into this type of thing.

@ivory wow thank you so much for this. I’ve been thinking that’s what I needed to focus on but wasn’t sure. I’m mostly not giving myself permission to, thinking that the depression is fueled by my not doing the hard thing

@ttom thank you so much! This was super insightful and helpful.

@ttom Thank you for your reply and for asking. What I expect from life is less suffering. I have been on and off depressed for years, I have anger outbursts and my relationships suck. Basically a lot of emotional problems and I carry a lottt of pain. I want less of that. I have thought of the idea that I'm suffering because of my thought that I'm not where I should be... But even then I still think that I could be doing so much more...but then I think maybe I'm just being hard on myself. I just don't know.

If you've taken the character survey did you also spend the money to get their extended information on your specific strengths? I'm pretty tempted to but figured I would ask here first. Thank you.

I was doing soooooo well with reading my Values and Goals every day. Then I missed a day it took me a couple months to get that far. Previous attempts I missed days at 15, 7, 5. Feeling frustrated and don't know how I'm going to keep going.

I AM very hurt by life, lol.

@Leo Gura thank you soo much for the support!!

@Soulbass How did you make a chart like this?