Flowerfaeiry

In a way. And a lot of it is just an attempt to understand women. We tend to have the emotional upper hand and play our own games. Learning about how some men deal with that brings light to our own behavior lol. Pua and red pill aren't abuse. I mean it can get that way sure but it's not synonymous with it. Again, red pill and pua are not synonymous with toxicity(not saying I can't become that). It's a response to women's own emotional manipulation. That we often deny left and right hahahaha. I set boundaries around toxicity by being in the fullness of myself as an actualizing human and woman. Sometimes that looks like telling someone to shut up and sometimes that looks like letting them figure it out on their own.

Is that the vibe you're getting? I went out with a guy once who "playfully" mocked me but he really just didn't like me. Lol

Girl, guys who mock are the worrst and have a special way of making you feel like shit. That insecurity will just keep showing him the places he can mess with you.

Tbh, as a woman I've gotten a LOT out of learning about red pill and pua. I know a lot of women are turned off by those things and it makes sense, but I think there's much to be learned about men in those ideas. In terms of using crude language, it's a turn-off but just says more about the maturity of the individual and its easy to shake off. Men would need to have a change of heart of sorts to not curb what they're saying. I want men(and everyone) to express themselves wherever they are and come to conclusions themselves, not just because a woman may be turned off or feel unwelcome. Although that can be a starting point.

I really don't want you guys to curb what you say just so you come across as welcoming to other women, but your right, thats just me.

@Vagos Damn that sucks. I've been healing my brain from drug abuse many years ago. Do you feel depressed about it or just not much of anything at all? Going forward, you may not experience emotions in the same way you did before Zoloft, but your brain will most likely heal and create new and different pathways. It will be a process that takes some time though, so don't get discouraged too quickly. Be healthy, get fresh air, stay active. Don't smoke weed or do any other drugs. In terms of psychedelics, I don't know. If you're experienced maybe try with small amounts, but in several months? Either way, ease into it and go from there (this is all just advice from my perspective and experience). I'm not knowledgeable on supplements for the brain but there are a wide variety. Just be conscious and aware with that stuff. Even when it's "natural" it can be powerful.

Very poetic

Wow thank you so much, all really good things to think about.

Bro I'm the BEST housewife Also, it's deeper than that.

I knew it was a joke. I'm not intimidated by crude comments, just kinda makes someone seem careless plus, I know my power as woman.

It got harder with covid but yea even then, a lot of people don't know what they like and that's not a good match for me.

The last few guys I've chosen have been pretty masculine, I didn't even think about that. Progress haha.

Just to clarify--there are many different ways of doing "no poo" and that is one of the worst-- although most popular. I'm kinda possessive of this method because it's worked really well to heal my scalp and hair so had to defend my advice a bit lol. I just water wash and occasionally use shampoo to remove buildup that comes from life.

Do you live in a dry climate? Are you hydrated? Tbh some people just run more dry than others and there's not much you can do internally to change the body's natural constitution, sorry to say. But if you are a naturally dry person, foods that are higher in quality fat and staying hydrated can help. Don't be so opposed to topical solutions. Once you've done all you can internally, try shea butter, olive oil(made for skin) castor oil, these are all natural, single ingredient moisturizers that can actually improve skin's dryness and overall quality. Something else you might consider is doing "no-poo" which is the no shampoo method for your hair. It allows your hair to regulate back to its natural cleansing routine and will help with dry scalp as its oils are not being stripped (any shampoo, no matter how gentle, is stripping the scalp of its natural oils).

Oh, that was you! I still think about that lol. What do you mean by the controlling behavior?

No you're totally right. I find myself longing for a partner more in the times I'm feeling sad or worse about myself.

This is huge. And unsettling lol. I've always chose feminine men because I couldn't fathom receiving in that way.

Grew up in it. Dad had classic books like How to Win Friends and Influence People and Think and Grow Rich and raised us with self improvement mindsets. But I don't recommend this way of being introduced to self-actualization. Because for YEARS I was lying to myself about improving when really I was just doing mental masturbation. My parents are also of very low integrity and I'm pretty sure the self improvement stuff has just been a cover up for their problems. It's actually shown me how easy it is to half-ass this type of stuff. And the difference between being serious and kinda just doing it willy-nilly.

@somegirl I LOVE ordering a fancy virgin drink when I go out. Look at their cocktail list and see if they can do one without alcohol. Or it doesn't even have to be fancy. Ask for a club soda with a lime and have them give it to you in a glass with a straw(if they first reach for a plastic cup). I like to tip well for special requests like those. It makes you feel good about having something nice to drink and you can stay healthy

I appreciate your perspective. It IS hard to meet just good people in general.

Thank you. You're right. I'm going to explore that as things are opening up more in my city.

Just -practice-. If you're not even doing that, no matter what type it is, you're not gonna go very far.

There is a lot of good advice here on the forum. I often go to post something here and then realize that I already have the answer, I just need to sort it out in my mind a bit better. No need to criticize yourself about that. Just keep asking more and better questions based of the answers you get and your own exploration. It's good that you're thinking and learning and asking questions. If you want to make a post you could make one that is about an insight you have or something you would like to teach us. Don't worry about what other people think about your posts, just put some good thought into it. Try to taper down the time you spend on the forum. For example if you spend 2 hours on it a day, start spending only 1.5 hours on it per day. Become really mindful of the time you spend on it. That will be a good place to start.

I've wondered about that...

In what way? Like going back to all your unhealthy habits? Not really, unless you only stopped the addictions for the retreat.