Rilles

Such an interesting purpose! Will be interesting to see what you do with it!

To me its crazy how someone can go from skinny to fat so quickly, I have been skinny all my life and I have always struggled with gaining even a little weight, but like somebody said he probably has a serious food addiction and mental issues.

I made a pretty negative post about toxic life purpose a couple hours ago, felt like balancing it out with something positive. Even if youre not an actor you can get inspired by the mastery these actors have achieved in their field in whatever you do! My personal favourite, pure fucking mastery!

Wow. Thats funny. I have something similar sometimes. Im definitely not attracted to men though, lol. I think I just have poor boundaries and some type of mental OCD lol.

Is there anything in particular you like/love to do? Something that gives even a tiny spark of excitement in your heart? That could be what leads to your purpose. The good thing about having a purpose nowadays is that you barely have to walk outside the door, so if youre a loner its perfect. For example you could write about your hellish life and gain a huge following or something. Just an example. You have to find what you like of course. I have moderate social anxiety and I dont think speaking to a camera is very scary, it is a bit weird but not at all on the same level as talking to a stranger.

He clearly is not well. I guess my meta-point here is to not create low consciousness garbage.

He has millions of subs dude, What I wouldnt give to have a million subs, Its definitely a purpose and one he has worked hard at, but its a really dumb one, a dumb one thats killing him slowly.

this.

Why make a thread if we cant change your mind. Seems kind of dumb.

As toxic as a vat of radioactive acid.

@Blackhawk Watch this video if you have time. Maybe if you feel like youre lonely and depressed having a purpose could help, so you can focus on something higher, give your life to something special to speak. Or maybe its nice to just hear someone is going through similar things.

I've down Ecstasy twice in my life, I had some anhedonia, depression and anxiety about 3-4 days after. Its gonna be a bit rough but you just gotta ride it out. Youll be back to normal soon enough, or you could buy some 5-HTP but be very careful to not use before youre sober again, it can cause serotonin syndrome, use 5-HTP maybe 24 hours after youre back to normal. Try to not have any urgent plans after you come down, cozy up in bed and watch some stupid Netflix shows or something.

Just take a step at a time, no need to completely break down all the norms, I would say if you work hard at it might take you 10 years to become truly authentic.

Lmao I knew what video this was before I clicked the link! Classic! Leo escaping his ego.

Fair enough.

Got it. Im open to that.

@Blackhawk Did you ignore my posts on purpose or did you miss them? I think they could help you make friends if you take them seriously.

I imagine alot of things that turn out to be helpful. I can imagine myself cutting myself with a knife and thus it prevents me from harming. Obviously death is a thought because I am not experiencing it right now. I dont see how realizing that death is a thought will help me though... So what, I obviously wont be Rilles forever, something will happen called "death" but I dont know what it is.

1.People in my society die all the time, Im a human or atleast identified as one, so I conclude that I wont be here for ever. 2.I fear dangerous things, it prevents me from harming my body, so I assume that means if my body goes I will die. 3.An intutition that I will die.

Lol, is clear noone here has a clue what happens when you die, why cant you just admit it instead of using non-dual jargon. Except for Shin, he seems more reasonable.

Probably, but life is long, how will you keep up your habits when life hits you hard.

Some questions to ask yourself: How much do I trust other people? How important are others opinion of me? Have other people ever hurt me deeply? What do I think of other people, what do my daily thoughts tell me about them, what are the core themes? @Blackhawk

Why is that? You have to deeply analyze what led you to your loneliness, go back in time, years back... it cant be only not being liked, even unlikeable people have friends, like narcissists for example. Ps, I doubt youre that unlikeable.

@Blackhawk Are you on medication? Are you for it or against it?

Okay and why is that? Youre obviously looking for some way out of this, what do you hope to get out of talking with a non-professional?