Rilles

He clearly is not well. I guess my meta-point here is to not create low consciousness garbage.

He has millions of subs dude, What I wouldnt give to have a million subs, Its definitely a purpose and one he has worked hard at, but its a really dumb one, a dumb one thats killing him slowly.

this.

Why make a thread if we cant change your mind. Seems kind of dumb.

As toxic as a vat of radioactive acid.

@Blackhawk Watch this video if you have time. Maybe if you feel like youre lonely and depressed having a purpose could help, so you can focus on something higher, give your life to something special to speak. Or maybe its nice to just hear someone is going through similar things.

I've down Ecstasy twice in my life, I had some anhedonia, depression and anxiety about 3-4 days after. Its gonna be a bit rough but you just gotta ride it out. Youll be back to normal soon enough, or you could buy some 5-HTP but be very careful to not use before youre sober again, it can cause serotonin syndrome, use 5-HTP maybe 24 hours after youre back to normal. Try to not have any urgent plans after you come down, cozy up in bed and watch some stupid Netflix shows or something.

Just take a step at a time, no need to completely break down all the norms, I would say if you work hard at it might take you 10 years to become truly authentic.

Lmao I knew what video this was before I clicked the link! Classic! Leo escaping his ego.

Fair enough.

Got it. Im open to that.

@Blackhawk Did you ignore my posts on purpose or did you miss them? I think they could help you make friends if you take them seriously.

I imagine alot of things that turn out to be helpful. I can imagine myself cutting myself with a knife and thus it prevents me from harming. Obviously death is a thought because I am not experiencing it right now. I dont see how realizing that death is a thought will help me though... So what, I obviously wont be Rilles forever, something will happen called "death" but I dont know what it is.

1.People in my society die all the time, Im a human or atleast identified as one, so I conclude that I wont be here for ever. 2.I fear dangerous things, it prevents me from harming my body, so I assume that means if my body goes I will die. 3.An intutition that I will die.

Lol, is clear noone here has a clue what happens when you die, why cant you just admit it instead of using non-dual jargon. Except for Shin, he seems more reasonable.

Probably, but life is long, how will you keep up your habits when life hits you hard.

Some questions to ask yourself: How much do I trust other people? How important are others opinion of me? Have other people ever hurt me deeply? What do I think of other people, what do my daily thoughts tell me about them, what are the core themes? @Blackhawk

Why is that? You have to deeply analyze what led you to your loneliness, go back in time, years back... it cant be only not being liked, even unlikeable people have friends, like narcissists for example. Ps, I doubt youre that unlikeable.

@Blackhawk Are you on medication? Are you for it or against it?

Okay and why is that? Youre obviously looking for some way out of this, what do you hope to get out of talking with a non-professional?

@Blackhawk You seem to have some form of clinical depression and I highly recommend you find a good therapist instead of hoping that this forum will help you. It literally says in the guidelines to seek help for serious issues. Were just random people here, were not trained for this.

@Gianna Or maybe you just THINK noone understands you... You really think out of 7 billion people noone has or is experiencing what you are experiencing. Come on man...

Nighttime dreams are just daydreaming turned up a notch. Your imagination while for example thinking of a pink elephant or fearing your rent is due is very complex too but more fuzzy. If youre stonwd and close your eyes your imagination seems to get way more intense too. Everything is complex, I dont see why reality cant just be complexity and intelligence itself without needing to add anything behind the scenes.

Its such a deeply feeling rooted feeling that you will never really get rid of it. I have been alone for about 2 months in a new city(I mean physically, I still had contact with family through my phone), now Im back to socializing with real people and feel fine, but these months have provided me with a deep insight of social we really are. I have entertained myself as much as I can and sometimes life was fine by myself but that feeling of "wrongness" was always lurking in the background. Anyway, it was a good experiment, I definitely feel stronger now with more self-esteem, could easily do a retreat in the woods sometime in my life. TLDR: True loneliness is one of the hardest things to face. Probably incurable. Edit: Changed title from "Literally Impossible" to "Almost Impossible"