LastThursday

On balance it's emotionally easier just to say goodbye and cut all communication. It will sting like hell to start off with, but it will get easier with time, to the point where you won't think about them very much. See it as an opportunity to grow. I'm still friends with one of my exes, as we share a lot of friends in common. So it really depends on circumstances. And I would say even now I can feel slightly awkward around her, even though it's been 20 years, she's married and has a teenage kid. Every relationship is different.

Yeah you're right. Although I didn't think it through too deeply. But Queen a3 instead is a much safer square, and poses more danger to the white King.

It's been a blessed relief to finally get home and resume normality. I've visited friends, and got proper sleep, and eating food I'm used to, and back in my own environment. In the end I simply had to ignore my Dad's flatmate (see previous post). I felt bad and childish for doing so, like I could have handled the situation in a more adult way (by asserting boundaries), but it was too much and she needed to get the message. We also had a family meeting online - at my instigation - between us siblings and my Dad, which helped me vent and make them all realise this wasn't all on me. I was super relieved when my Dad said he would spend Christmas with his flatmate and boyfriend - he wouldn't be by coping by himself at his most vulnerable - but also, I'm sure, he would talk things over with his flatmate and calm her down. Unfortunately, my Dad has a tendency not to plan anything but expects people to pick up the pieces when things go wrong. He also has this "rabbit in the headlights" approach to stress and challenging situations. It's a pattern my Dad's brother finds intolerable and he has largely washed his hands of him because of that. It's a shame because he lives relatively close to my Dad and could have helped him quite a lot more. Having got to know my uncle a lot more in the last few weeks, I realise that I'm extremely like him in many ways. My Dad is an eccentric bloke in a lot of ways and deals with life in odd ways, and has unconventional beliefs - my uncle is like the more everday "normal" version of my Dad. My Dad will go back home today, and I'm hoping that he just plans for his future and begins to have a stronger and more proactive approach to his health and wellbeing. I sound like a corporate manager. Of course, he'll do no such thing, but I'm secretly hoping that this spell in hospital has frightened him enough to take some bloody action for himself. I'm hoping I don't have to deal with more shit. Anyway, more normal stuff today. Visiting a friend in London and the skies are blue. But first, breakfast.

I think it'll be good to get out things that arise and put them down in written form. I have so many lost thoughts and ideas, and some of them were very good.

Rook d1 yes, but then black Queen b8 to get out of danger (or a3 is better). White Queen f6 to restrict black King. Black bishop e8, to anticipate white Rook eventually d8. White Knight e7 check. Black King f8 but very exposed in any case. White Rook d8.

Puzzle 6. Surely it's white's move, since white is in check?

Put's mine to shame, and I thought it was a lot.

Like anything it's easy to assume that what you see as beneficial, is actually beneficial to others also. On here you're preaching to the converted, so it seems obvious that expanding conciousness is where it's at. But to give an extreme example, it's just like a mafia boss who knocks off the opposition, and sees that as beneficial and asks: why doesn't everyone do that? The bottom line is that everyone is different, and there isn't a "right" thing to do in life, it's all relative. Maybe even, for a lot of people expanding consciousness is actually a bad thing to do.

How does white respond to Black Queen c1 in your scenario? Unless white wants to lose their Rook, they have to move it. There are only two safe squares for it, a2 or d3. Neither blocks the black queen going to g5 on the next move. White could just ignore the Rook threat and do Bishop c2 threatening mate, but Knight d7 to f6 stops that and threatens their queen in return. Even if white Queen g6 to avoid the Knight, black can do Queen g5 and things are looking equal after the queen trades.

I've been feeling a lot of stress lately and I'm concerned about its effects on my health and sleep. Anyone here now how to clear stress hormones quickly from the body, and how to reverse the bad effects of stress hormones?

My take on Puzzle 5. Black Queen takes White Bishop for free. White a3 Rook has to move away somewhere safe. Black Queen g5 check. Then black knight f4. Looking like checkmate unless the black knight is taken.

WTF? I feel stressed just reading that. Thanks all, some great suggestions. I'll try crying, moving a lot, and hanging upside down. Perhaps some humour for good measure.

I didn't read the whole book, because I got the gist in the first half of the book. It's just another one of those books that puts people into a set of categories, and explains everything through that paradigm. But it's good for making you aware that these categories exist, the competitive go-getter, the people pleasers and so on - which is useful in itself. It also explains how the four categories might interact well with each other and their inner motivations. Who doesn't like to categorise themselves? It could have been a slimmer book. Awareness is nine-tenths of the law. Or am I mixing my metaphors?

The saga with my dad continues, he is still in hospital but due for imminent discharge. He's still very weak but at least able to dress and bathe himself now. He won't have anyone at home after discharge, albeit for one day perhaps. I'm back in the UK (thank god), but I'm very concerned for him. I could have stayed, but that would have been for an indefinite amount of time, and I had to draw a line in the sand somewhere. I feel bad for doing it, but also hugely relieved. Selfishly I have to look out for myself first, otherwise the stress and worry will make me ill and/or make me unable to help my dad in the longer term. At some point he will probably need to go into home, especially if he loses any more mobility. His flatmate (she only temporarily stays there and can't look after him long term), is a nightmare. She's very domineering, combative and only thinks about getting her own way, and is completely dictating how the situation should be handled, and my dad is too soft to stand up to her. I for one don't want to deal with her too much, I need time to think and plan and not be consantly hounded - she has caused me more stress in the last three weeks than my dad's condition has. Effectively, the situation is simple, he either goes home and largely copes by himself or he doesn't and goes into a home - all this extra drama and hysteria is completely unwarranted. My sister pointed out that both his flatmate and my dad have not really planned or thought about this eventually at all. The flatmate runs a business with him also, and there's about 35 years between them. It was obvious that at some point my dad may get ill or infirm and that would be it. So, in effect I'm in the middle of it picking up the pieces and fielding communications left right and centre. I think my dad will just about cope with living at home, and it will get easier over time as he regains his strength after lying in bed for three weeks. And if so, that my dad will seriously consider his options, he still has his faculties thankfully.

I see some advantage to putting the white Rook on E3 first, but not much. Otherwise just take the black Knight with white Knight, then White Queen to H5 (whatever happens), since pawns in front of black King are pinned, then in a better position for mate.

Bear in mind high IQ is orthogonal to happiness. Normally it's inversely proportional. Ok ok stupid people are happier and get more sex.

If I was playing Blitz my instinct would be Knight F6 to E4, exposing the queens. Instinct would be to exchange queens after, but may as well take black bishop. But then black Knight F2 for check, but white can counter with taking it with their Knight, and I retaliate with black Rook. But then what? My other instinct is the Black Queen + Rook diagonal pair is the crux of the puzzle. But I can't work it out.

Bear in mind high IQ is orthogonal to sexual prowess. Normally it's inversely proportional. EDIT That's my usual chat up line.

Do what you love? Otherwise, DON'T work 10 hours a day.

More random stuff from @LastThursday please bear with me, loading... Tom boy A-Ha on CD repeat Out of Blue Comes Green Auburn hair Lulu Short hair Excitable Stripey Tights Stick insect Milton Keynes Bowl Was Not Was Big watches Sexual exploration Innocent love Jealousy Crying Kabooey Gillygogs Running round and round Weightlifting In bed kissing all day T'Pau: China in Your Hand 1988 Wet T-shirt, yikes Summer high jinx Shooting GF's brother with air gun (oops) Soul II Soul Crow (Lindsey!) Kissin' on a bench Empty tube trains home The Venue: clubbing and dry ice Fool's Gold Barrowboy (f**k him) Garry (f**k him) KFC Chicken Burger ... South Kensington Sick (original) parquet flooring Encyclopedia Brittanica (Fourier Transforms!) Fish tanks Curry and Coca Cola (bliss) Frisky Bull Dogs Glow in the Dark Stars Gladiators The Twilight Zone The Nuns of Monza (!) The Lost Boys 9.5 Weeks St Etienne: Only can love break your heart Gladiators Go! Apple IIgs Airheart Bard's Tale (mega printout colouring in felt tip forever) Spinning 8-bit wireframes A-ha cubes Jangling keys opening schools at six o'clock (nearly killed me) Mopping floors Hydrochloric Acid + urinals Super Dodgy Woodpecker council estates Drunken taxis Getting mugged Getting to know my mugger Walking home for two miles Getting away from home Network 7 The James Whale Show Get Stuffed! Impromptu naked duvet discovery (and nearly misapproriating an illegal cherry) Nosey sisters Officious ginger brother The Dew Drop Inn Close to Me: Cure 15 going on 16 Unbearable holiday wait Will you go out with me? Green chequed shirts Drainpipe grey jeans Basketball shoes Have my cherised calculator (supernerd) New girlfriend meet old girlfriend Baggy happy acid hoodies Paisley shirts!! (I loved them) Hi Tec Badminton

@Someone here I'm happy to choose whichever angle suits the conversation. I say "non-living matter" within the context of the OP and you understood what I meant. Of course I didn't actually say those things. I'm equally happy to say that everything is within consciousness and leave it at that.

Just get it out Guillermo. I continue to be in Dublin and having to sort out things for my dad, whilst he is still in hospital. He's due to be moved to another hospital for rehabilitation for his mobility. As it stands there is no way that he can live by himself. The hope is that he recovers enough mobility to be able to do that, but even before he went into hospital he was borderline, and was struggling to think clearly and keep on top of things. Saying that, he's a lot more compos mentis that even before he went into hospital. My dad's always been a dreamer and getting him to be practical and pragmatic is a real effort. Getting him to help himself is even harder. Your parents bring you up and then they turn into children and you become their parent. I really just want to go home and to stop having my dad as the focus of all my attention, it feels artificial and unnatural. And I want to stop living in his flat by myself. Why is it me that's on the hook for his care? Don't my siblings give a shit? Why does his own brother not give a damn? And for the love of god why don't the hospital find him a place for rehab, being in limbo is slowly killing me. The last few weeks has felt like months. Over and out.

You can separate out the emotion from the act. You're right that your mother just wants the best for you, and you should see her actions through that lens, and forgive her when she doesn't get it right. Take her advice only if it feels right to you. Of all the people in the world that can trigger you most emotionally, it's your family. Just allow yourself to be upset, don't try and rationalise it or ruminate on it, let it pass naturally. If the emotion is too much, just say to your mother that you will talk to her another time.

What is the right way to live life? The answer: there isn't a right way. The world and their brother will tell you what to do and what you should be doing, and they're all wrong.

This is the genius of life, it is simultaneously separate and an integral part of the universe. It's separateness comes from its ability to maintain a set of patterns of matter through time. The actual matter itself rushes like a river through an organism, so it isn't the matter that is alive, it is the patterns it makes. The patterns have a type of will, but like a fractal have a repeated structure through time as well as space. That fractal is able to "absorb" being disrupted by that rush of matter and recover. A fractal is a never ending feedback system, that creates unlimited complexity from simple ingredients: matter and laws of nature.