LastThursday

@Kamo don't get me wrong. I subvocalise with the best of them. Just not computer code or thought. I wish I could read without doing it too, it would be cool in a nerdy way. Reading isn't thought though. I'm very intrigued to know what happened to you at 24? Hopefully I won't regret the question?

Indeed my perception differs which is why I go on about it. When I do computer programming for example, I don't actually talk to myself in Javascript, that would insanity. No. It is thought, but it's not my internal voice. It's a mixture of images, memories, "knowing", finger memory, intuition and so on, there's hardly internal voice going on at all (except to curse at bugs). It seems completely alien to people that they could actually think without talking to themselves, I find it amusing and weird.

Yeah PR is about as sexy as climate disaster, I hope there's an upswell eventually and the system changes. As with any sort of major shift, there's always pros and cons. The Brexit/pandemic timing is just serendipitous (if I can use that word) in terms of vaccine performance, it's blind luck. There may be eventual upsides to Brexit, but in the short to medium term it's pain all the way. Anyway, half my heritage is European so I can't talk calmly about Brexit without my blood pressure increasing. Call me biased. That's a good observation and probably some truth to that.

@mandyjw that's making me hungry, time for some light lunch, hopefully my ego's waistline doesn't get bigger.

I'm reluctant to feed the ego but here goes: YES YOU (and others of course). I only found it out after I started taking the lessons, she seemed like any other normal Aussie. If anyone ever offers me a choice between two different coloured pills, I'll going to change my name to Neo and learn some martial arts.

What the country lacks is choice. It's basically a two party system, and power flip-flops between the two. The Lib Dems are out of the picture now. One solution is to have more even power sharing and proportional representation (PR) so that alternative parties are more accurately represented. This is the norm in a lot of European countries. The Green Party would immediately get a boost in MPs if PR was in place, for example. Brexit itself is a calamity, both in terms of firmly dividing the populace, and for costing the economy billions for no apparent gain (and probably mostly loss). But it's not a surprise, we live on an island, and that isolationist streak runs through the British mindset. The irony being we invented globalism. France is only 20 miles away, and yet we couldn't be more different.

You could say that spirituality doesn't concern itself with matters of survival. But if you're into understanding reality for what it is, then survival is right in there in the mix. In the early stages spirituality may even harm your survival chances, but later on you learn to integrate both survival and spirituality - they're not mutually exclusive.

Guillermo why don't you do something with your talents instead of wasting time doing not much at all? I've had that sort of sentiment directed at me from various different sources over time. I get jarred by it, both because what I choose to do is my choice, but also because some - irritating - part of my agrees with the sentiment. I'm predisposed to both agree and disagree at the same time. It's like informing a pretty woman that they are wasting their time by not being on a catwalk. What dawned on me eventually, is that this sort of thing is coming from a place of love. Most people close to you genuinely want to see you succeed, especially if you have the talents to do so. They want to live vicariously through you. This seems to be why talent is so prized in our society, especially if that talent is god given. There's a realisation that talent doesn't come for free, and that it's not bestowed on the great majority of people. I had an odd phase some time ago where I had a hankering to become an actor. To a degree I'm a show off, or an exhibitionist, I like some attention sometimes. It seemed like a good fit. I took some preliminary acting courses, just to test the waters. At that basic level it's all exercises to build trust and to expose your inner self, and to be childlike again to some extent. I very much enjoyed the experience. My teacher had even starred in The Matrix films (the irony isn't lost on me). When I told people about my new direction in life, they were excited for me. I liked the attention. But as it was it fizzled out, I'm not sorry in any way, I learnt valuable skills along the way. I see some talent on this forum, both spiritually, intellectually and in writing ability. Yes, I'm pointing at YOU. And I just feel like that irritating guy. So, why don't you do something big with that talent you have there? Stop wasting time, make it pay and propel you forward. If you become famous, I can name drop you, and you can keep me on your Christmas card list. Of course, I promise to do the same.

Even these are dubious. Aren't they nouns? Nouns and verbs just carve out reality in different ways. Neither are true.

Questioning humour isn't funny. Laughter is a signal to say everything is ok, once danger has passed. I'm not sure humour is just laughter though.

Take a yoga mat.

Amongst some of my friends it's well known how much I despise wage slavery. Since I've been working at home in the pandemic, with one friend in particular we joke to each other by asking "have you started work today yet?" Often I reply no. Some days I actually do no work at all. He is similar, but he has a young daughter and a house to maintain, so he has his own distractions. It's my own form of private protest. I see very much like this: it was not my choice to be born into this society. Naturally, I acquiesce to the extent I'm prepared to. I work as a wage slave because I have no other choice. The flipside is that I live a comfortable life as a result. There are pros and cons and nuance to everything in life. Really, what I'm a slave to is my own fear of living a shitty life, or worse, death. A mediocre life is better than a crappy life. Business is about maximising profit. You push some capital out up front, in the hope that you get the capital back and more. It's a form of gambling or at least risk taking. It feeds into our innate greed and need for more and more stuff, especially money. It is not money per se at the root of all evil, but our greediness. For example, no business would ever cap it's own growth and profits, it seems insane to do that. If the business starts employing more people, then those people are surviving from that greed. What's so bad about that? It's not possible to escape the system. Starting your own business, is just more of the same, you now become a slave to your clients. Maybe you can be conscious and cap your business's growth? You make enough money to give you a comfortable life and no more. Alternatively, you somehow try and escape having to work whatsoever, you live on government handouts. I know deep down I'm doing the wrong type of work. My lack of motivation speaks volumes. The inertia that used to keep me going - my love of computing - no longer does that. My focus is moving to other things, it wants to move to other things. I feel that intensely. But in order to jump the ship of wage slavery I will simultaneously have to do something I have no mastery at and decrease my standard of living. My core being is like nope. The temptation to simply quit working for a while is high and possible for me to do. But, it's no fix for the situation, not really. Previous times I've been in the position of freefall with no income, it was anxiety inducing. If I'm going to do it again, I need a very clearly defined plan of escape. I'm not fighting the system, I'm fighting myself.

A jolly tune - well I like it: Flow, my tears, fall from your springs! Exiled for ever, let me mourn Where night's black bird her sad infamy sings There let me live forlorn Down vain lights, shine you no more No nights are dark enough for those That in despair their last fortunes deplore Light doth but shame disclose Never may my woes be relieved Since pity is fled And tears and sighs and groans my weary days, my weary days Of all joys have deprived From the highest spire of contentment My fortune is thrown And fear and grief and pain for my deserts, for my deserts Are my hopes, since hope is gone Hark! you shadows that in darkness dwell Learn to contemn light Happy, happy they that in hell Feel not the world's despite Hark! you shadows that in darkness dwell Learn to contemn light Happy, happy they that in hell Feel not the world's despite

You are all of them. Wherever you look in the universe, you are there.

Big picture thinking allows you to connect lots of smaller things together. It's like zooming out on Google Earth. You get a real feel for how things interrelate and fit together, how Africa relates to Europe relates to Asia, oh and America North and South. You realise there's more water than land. It automatically recontextualises the finer detail. It's a very useful skill to be able to approach understanding from many different levels of zoom, especially in this day and age of narrow specialisation. What's the bigger picture of your university project?

Yes, you're the only point of view. But it only seems that way, because you imagine yourself to be watching it all. In fact, there's no one watching, it is all just pure awareness. By definition awareness is aware of something, the whole of consciousness/the universe is aware of itself. There are an infinite number of points of awareness.

Every story about reality is only partial, what isn't told is everything else.

@Roy Yes, it's like you were appreciating the artists before, but now your realise how deeply personal it all is. I really appreciate where you are now, I had a period of my life were music and art would make me emotional to the point of tears, often - and both how silly and liberated I felt.

Absolute love is just that, absolute. Whether you self-improve or not, it is still there. Self-improvement is a thought relative to who you are now.

All these different things feed into each other and affect each other: Stress Sleep Diet Exercise/fitness Mental clarity They are the actors in the movie of Preety. If you change one thing the others will also change in harmony. Some things you will have control over, some not, so you can only change the things you have control of. There's a lot of easy things you can do in all these areas, that will improve things fairly quickly. I'm no expert, but there are experts on this forum that can help in these areas. I know a fair amount about good sleep hygiene if you're interested (it's my favourite activity).

There's likely a strong influence from diet and fitness on your mental state. The good news is at least you're doing some exercise. I don't know how difficult it would be for you to improve your diet? Also, what are you sleep patterns like, do you get enough sleep?

What are you levels of exercise and fitness? And do you think you have a good diet?

You also have to master patience and mastery also doesn't have a finish line. Why would you be able to play a Bach fugue, solve differential equations, or be the world's greatest footballer right now? It takes a long time for your mind and body to learn the right movements, jargon and thought patterns to do anything. There's a reason it takes 10,000 hours to get good at something. Saying that. If you have previous mastery in lots of different areas, then learning new things can be very quick. It's a virtuous cycle. If you already know how to walk, then running is a lot easier to master.

Dreams have as much meaning as waking reality. The difference is they tend to be more metaphorical right brained than analytical left brained.

It depends on what you mean by effort. I think most people regard effort as an unpleasant activity, usually some sort of activity that you would rather not be doing if you had a choice. So you practise avoidance of effort and then hope for the best. This doesn't work. If you do nothing, nothing happens. If you do something, something happens. Sustained commitment is more important. Even low effort over a long period of time can bring results. The trick is to make the effort seem worthwhile. If you start seeing results from your effort, then this will sustain you. Or if your plan or vision is strong enough, then your efforts are for a good reason. Or you could just redefine what "effort" means to you. If you actually enjoy what you're doing, then it stops being effort and it becomes joy. Go find that thing.