billiesimon

@Emerald If you want to pick on my paranoia... I remember that you are very evolved in this topic.

Ok, I've watched the video. It's very interesting and a deep deep topic. Tyler is very good with women and I've followed him in several videos. He is also very attuned to female energy and can relate very well with them. But in my humble opinion this video just reinforces my theory. When he approaches with weak intent the girls avoid him because he is not "cool", there's no validation in interacting with a nerdy introverted guy with no social skills. On the other hand when he's natural and smooth the girls can feel the high value coming from him and they want their share of validation in talking with him. It's just like if you see brad pitt disguised as a homeless person. You don't want to talk to him. But if you see him as himself you DO want to take a photo with him and talk.

Thanks for the detailed response. Yes, I've read david deida, but I need to do it again since I don't remember much. Yes, women like being validated because it's part of their social bonding instict. But the quoted part it's also a very corrupted part of this sexual nature. They want to always be in control of the situation and always be the ones who reject you and humiliate you. I really DON'T understand this about women. Why is it necessary to do that? Can't they just enjoy an interaction or a relationship without being control freaks and rejecting everyone left and right just for the sake of rejecting? I really don't understand this and this of course stops me from integrating all of my female components, even though I already am an emotional and sensitive guy.

As I stated in the other topic, women tend to go about dating on a validation journey. For what I've personally seen, and for what some PUAs teach, girls generally don't care about sex and intimacy, they are just hooked on the validation they get from guys. It's a way of feeling importance and above other people in status. Girls always say that they dress sexy for themselves, while some dating advice teachers say it's to get laid/relationships. They are both wrong. They do it for the ego boost and the feeling of being more important than you or than other girls. A lot of PUA advice, which I don't find ethical, is based on the fact that if you make her crave you validation she will give you sex as a form of exchange for your validation. Which actually works, and it's creepy as fuck that it works. Tells a lot about female psychology. If you remove this validation factor women just don't care about sex nor affection. But it's not politically correct to say it.

@Etagnwo There's a lot of nice advice in this thread, especially high quality pick up advice. I see that you follow rsd. Owen is a great teacher and he's transcending into stage green too. A lot of meditation and spiritual suggestions come from him nowadays. But there's something I want to ask you, since I'm still new to approaching girls in venues. I've had bad experiences as a teenager with girls, and got rejected badly a lot. My blindspot is that I tend to see girls as only interested in validation and egoic approval, and then reject you. I also tend to perceive women as not interested in your authenticity but only in the egoic boost you can give them (status, emotional spikes, etc), even though I SEE that authenticity turns them on. What do you think about validation? Do you think it's the major component of female to male attraction? Or is my perception just scarred from my past?

Um... it's not how it seems. Generally girls go to the club just to get drunk with friends and receive validation from guys who look at them. It's not about finding a interesting man.

By the way, I love Teal Swan one of the best spiritual teachers

I presented a thesis, which is also validated by a lot of sexual psychology. Women are generally attracted by authenticity, charisma, leadership and solid character. Which are neutral factors, not related to being bad or being good in society. You can be a great positive and cheering leader like tony robbins and get a WHOLE LOT of girls. In fact he's very good with women. And also a very good hearted man. Show me the hardcore data proving that being rude to people is the key factor. Yes, because they are not authentic. They are people pleaser. If you are genuinely good hearted women will like you because you are being true to your core. A lot of nice guys are just weak assholes and I don't like them as a man. They are often very resentful.

I'm not saying that bad boys don't get laid. They do. A lot. I'm just saying that it's not the bad character. It's the confidence and the charisma that works.

Actually, no. It depends on the level of the girl. Girls with damaged souls tend to be attracted to bad people. But, generally speaking, girls DON'T care if you are a nice guy or a bad guy. You can be a complete asshole or a completeley honest and caring guy and get the girl with the same results. What matters is your social skills and your natural charisma. Being a bad boy with a boring character doesn't get you laid.

@Leo Gura that's true, but I still have a lot of confusion about your stance on dating and approaching. In your video about PUA you suggest to find a more authentic and non-technical approach to dating. So is it ok to learn the process of dating as you suggest in the quote? Or is it inauthentic and deceitful? I still don't get what you suggested to do with approaching girls with honesty in practical terms. Is it ok to flirt? To plan the logistics of the date?

Noooooooo do you realize that I looked it up and pasted it just for you? I spent almost 2 minutes to find it and write the last lyrics what a waste of my gift. No, it was not to mock you, I've always been peaceful in this conversation. It just came up in my mind while reading the word "paranoid", also because english is not my mother tongue and "paranoid" just triggers my memory of this song and also to make the discussion lighter, you're too tense

No, I just gave you a nice seventies song about it. . . Which you ignored probably didn't even listen to I am also somehow decent at playing it. Maybe.

Yeah, didn't you know? Now the liberal center is the epitome of political extremism and potatoes grow in the stratosphere.

Is this some kind of political flirting? I'm flattered by such a persistent woman (I'm joking, don't get mad XD) I like nutella hazelnut chocolate, which is very popular here in Italy Peanut butter is for lame americans

And so as you hear these words telling you now of my state I tell you to enjoy life I wish I could but it's too late Communists were anti-nazism, nazis were anti communism. Both were insane. These are extreme ends of the political spectrum, not the ACTUAL center. Learn the difference between poles and center much love. Changing political compass has nothing to do with the single ideologies. Ideologies are static. People change according to what is their walk of life.

I'm genuinely shocked by this lol.... Nowadays you can't EVEN be a classic liberal. The historical and quintessential definition of a good hearted, tolerant and egalitarian politician. Motherfucking JFK is a fuckin nazi!!! LOOOOL that's sooo ridiculous!! Ahahahah Tomorrow hippies are going to be called the new KKK, according to the left

Ok, I thank you for all your clear explanations. I really don't like SJWs who scream loudly and can't reason with people. So I really really like your calm minded and logical explanations, thanks. I think you missed the point that a lot of feminists are just plainly sexist towards men in speech and articles. Not all of course. But if you've read the literature you have to know that some are sexist as fuck. You can't run a movement for equality with some big rotten apples inside. And then talking to me about classic liberals being nazis LOOOOOL. If someone is a classic liberal in ACTIONS he/she cannot by definition integrate with far right ideologies. What the heck... This is textbook example of naziphobia from the left. Everyone who disagrees with communism is a nazi. Everybody who says that antifa is SLIGHTLY violent is a nazi and a rapist. What the fuck is going on in the world? I like most of your reasoning, don't get me wrong! But you clearly suffer of naziphobia and project german nationalsocialist values onto CLASSIC LIBERALS like JFK or martin luther king WTF!!! How in the heaven's fuck is it possibile for a true classic liberal to become entrenched in nationalsocialism or the italian nationalsocialist party? (fascist party) That's the definition of insanity! Leftism nowadays is just pure insanity and anti-rational. I just want to be honest, no offense for you. But who the fuck cares if some fake classic liberal in the past changed idea about nazism and joined it? That means he was not really a liberal! This is the exact same insane and hysterical argument we all hear from far left crazies who see everybody, including people following martin luther king and Kennedy, as NAZIS!!! that's literally worth of mental institution!!! I want you to really think about that. Hugs and kisses study classic liberalism and then talk

SOME?

Lol using memes to debate deep topics makes no sense. There are similar memes about the left and about the right, and about libertarians. You can make fun of every single position because no one is perfect. Centrism has many meanings, and does NOT mean being open to every single political move. A centrist is generally a moderate position where you take elements of the center-left and elements of the center-right. Get your facts straight lol. What you described in your nazi example is the common masses who are ignorant of politics. Not centrists. But it's true that centism changes with the evolution of society. Nowadays centrism is basically classical liberalism from the 60s - 70s adapted to our times. In fact I'm a classic liberal, I like left wing elements like public funded medical care, basic senior welfare for everybody etc, but also I like right wing elements like less economic regulations and boosting entrepreneurship. Centrists also tend to be very socially liberal, they appreciate free sexuality and free speech. By the way free speech was a very important victory of the classical left in the past, but now the left is completely rejecting it lol. I suggest to follow some free thinkers from the american and english political center, not to use examples from the '30 in germany. Today they tend to fall in the classic liberal archetype. Also you're displaying the typical intollerant left behaviour. If one has a slight slight different approach to politics from a left winger... he's a nazi LOL. Centrists are just liberal folks who don't like extreme reformation of society and extreme welfare programs. But they still like a lot of the products of the old left. No, the family court is run by feminists. Men just want to see and raise their children. No one on the conservative party would say that a father should stay away from his kids. That's just feminism. Anyway.... I think that the ONLY solution to these problems, womens issues and mens issues together, is to stop arguing and start doing. I don't care what we call these solutions, but we have to stop arguing amongst political parties and start solving these problems for both genders. And I literally mean BOTH genders, not just womens. Women need to have their issues solved, absolutely, and so do men. By the way I remark again that you see no women caring for true male problems, but there you have all the men caring for women in the left. Including me

The ironic part is that I'm one of the most peace and love people you can find, but that doesn't mean that I like seeing one gender being treated like an evil entity. Otherwise it is called being a doormat. Or a slave. Sorry I forgot a point Another thing that worries good men (I'm not talking about assholes) is that while there are A LOT of progressive men who help womens issues to be fixed, there are almost zero women interested in fixing at the same time mens issues. Men are just thrown under the bus by divorce courts and unjust and unfair legal systems, including the atrocious and inhuman treatment of losing your children forever in divorce. It's NOT a small issue. Men love their children and love being fathers. But women just don't care, while we still care a lot about fixing their issues. Just look at how many men are there in the progressive crowds. It's very sad because I just want both sexes to help eachother. Probably women just care for human issues when it's theirs.

I completely agree. Completely. I totally appreciate your effort, but it's not you the problem. The problem is that if you even DARE to chat about mens issues like suicide, not having purpose in life etc the left destroys your life and attacks you like you were the KKK, and at the same time they want tolerance for terrorists and ISIS. I think the left is in need of an insane asylum. How can you trust such a "progressive" movement? And I'm not from the right, I don't like conservatives. I'm very centrist politically. Another thing that worries some men and boys, in my opinion rightfully, is that we hope that once the womens issues are fixed, which I'm ALL IN FAVOUR and supportive, we can also get attention and empathy towards our problems. And at the end to get a pleasant society where everybody is accepted and not screamed at. Where there is no slut shaming and no "kill all men" and "all men are rapists". Why is it so hard to just care for our own life and let the other live their own? As a very calm and peaceful young man I find it very very cowardly to be classified as evil by the left. At the same time I don't like hearing slut shaming, because it's none of people's business what a woman does in her life. What I'm trying to say is that you can't fix some biases towards women by treating men like monsters, we are people with emotions and feelings and fears too. We love and breathe too. But to the left this is just nazi propaganda.

I'm not anti feminist. I'm just against "only one sex perspectives". Womens issues and mens issues are both important, at the same level.

I generally agree with you. Dating evolves in a more honest and warm interaction. Two people discovering each other. I just don't agree completely with point B. If you completely reveal your intentions of "finding love" or "finding a girl to connect with" to a girl... she will freak the fuck out and see you as a clingy and shady person. She wants you to be slow and hard to get to start dating you seriously. I'm NOT the one deciding the rules of the game. It's women. If it was easy to just say "i want to find a really nice connection" every guy would drop the "must hold myself back before love" thing. I mean nice guys, not stereotypical assholes. I just mean nice guys with experience with women. I tried to be honest but girls don't like it IN THE BEGINNING. They like it after they already chased you. Again... I'm not the one deciding the rules. It would be wonderful if I just had to state my honest intentions of finding love. But if a man does it the girl gets scared as fuck. She has to say it first, then as a man you're safe saying it

@Leo Gura I would really appreciate to hear your opinion on this subject. Do you think that approaching girls in a natural and authentic manner is ok for a full stage green? I don't mean classic PUA style, but just approaching to find a nice girl to date.