billiesimon

Thanks a lot, your response is the exact one I was needing Uhm... In my humble experience girls became attracted to me over time... I never saw an immediate attachment. The best example I have is my last ex. She was acting very neutral all the time we were seeing eachother (we exchanged a lot of messages and then went to four dates). Immediately after I kissed her and had sex with her (i mean the same day) she went completely out of the blue from neutral and receptive (but still completely blasè) to completely attached and loving and hugging/cuddling. I was sincerely shocked, but since I was already interested I chose her as my girlfriend then. And the same with the other two gfs. I mean, it might be ME that trigger this kind of "emotional defense" in women, since I've always been CAREFUL and afraid of emotional pain from women. Maybe this triggers them to be "cold" to create the complementary character to mine. But once I have sex with them I become more relaxed and peaceful and they BOOM become attached like they totally lost their coldness. In fact my worst problem with women is that I tend to see them as completely cold and heartless in the first part of dating, and very warm once I reach full sexual intimacy. Which I like! because I'm an emotional guy and I love cuddles and hugs, but I also have self esteem issues with love and affection, I feel poorly worthy of love. I think this might trigger these emotional defenses in women at the beginning of dating. Some of the responses are awful I'm sorry for the bad experiences, but I think I really understand you because I'm a male version of that, even though now I have a better self esteem. But my first gf for example neglected me a lot, while the last one was very caring with me, and at that point my self esteem was somehow decent already. By the way, your experiences are somehow a gift to you and the world since you can now help a lot of people (especially men, to be honest). I agree. No more paranoia and feeling wortless of love for me. I actually found out recently that I am becoming really really attracted to affectionate, caring but also self-respecting girls a lot. They give me some kind of authentic compassionate vibe. Well, thanks a lot again.

I can't get these facts straight. I have some female friends who have had experiences with assholes and I don't understand what's really in the female mind. Disclaimer: I have already talked a lot with them about it and I already know their emotional experience, but I'm here to discuss it rationally and analize it with the actualized girls on this forum (guys too). I have some female friends who have dated assholes for some months and then dumped them because of thei emotional shallowness. Now, the issue that I have with this is that IN THE BEGINNING of their dating with these guys, they were emotionally addicted to them. We're talking about one or two months of dating, and then they rejected these assholes and moved on to find a more balanced guy. But the fact remains that they were absolutely hooked like hell in those short periods of time. And these are nice girls, not emotional whores who are addicted to drugs or alcohol and social media. In fact they moved on exactly because they are nice girls and not damaged souls. But still I don't understand why they were MORE hooked by these assholes than by more balanced and actually cool guys. What's wrong with female nature? I know I sound judgemental but I don't mean to. I just want to understand why girls prefer so much extreme negative emotions over a more balanced emotional guy (I'm not talking about boring plain guys). I'm not here to judge, I just want to hear a female opinion and some insights!

It's just a clickbaity title I'm curious about the feminine, and what the feminine feels. I've had problems understanding women in the past so I'm curious now to reintegrate this.

Well, yes. I personally prefer a more evolved woman. But this doesn't confict with my interest in social dynamics of the average people.

I never said this is for me. I actually said that I'm not interested in being an asshole prototype, but I'm just inquiring the social dynamics. in fact I have my own detailed preferences about girls.

Yes, I'm very familiar with spiral dynamics. Well, I already know this theory, but that's only the most primal level. If you go around town smashing sexual competitors' heads, women won't date you. In fact in the attraction community it's very well known that aggressive males in modern liberal countries are not attractive because women in the first world tend to be attracted by social and sexual skills, which are leadership and success-related skills. The "aggressive male" prototype was useful in the early days of humanity, while over millennia women started to select more and more men based on the tribal/civilizational skills. Which means: great leader, great influencer of people, great seducer, great explorer, great emotional fitness. In fact if you go around in the clubs and bars and parties you will see that the most successful guys with women are very peaceful BUT also emotionally manipulative with people, which makes them great leaders of a social circle. That's because human sexual selection evolved to become more socially oriented than violence oriented.

Ok, you mean that they have fully developed their masculinity and so they have the same skills to attract a woman but at the same time they are pleasant to date. Well, that's nice to hear!

Yes but I'm not talking about me here. I'm not interested in the asshole route, I'm just studying the dynamics. Sorry, I think I'm not getting it. You said that the girl will always choose the asshole because the emotional charge is so powerful that she falls for the trap. How the heck is the cool good guy better at this if he doesn't use the extreme emotions?

So basically in a completely practical manner, it's better to be an asshole than an actualized guy to have success in dating. If average women tend to prefer the asshole over a cooler guy then it makes no sense to be a nice man with them. I'm sorry if I'm being materialistic and cold but this is just the cold truth. I'm just analizing the facts.

Thanks for the deep reply. Yes, I've seen that video in the past, but he does not explain if women prefer balanced guys or assholes, he just explains the leadership/confidence traits. To quote Ross Jeffries: "I don't care what women say they want, I care what they respond to". Saying "i want a nice guy" doesn't mean shit if they actually despise nice guys, or even cool badass balanced guys! So again I ask you: between a balanced fully developed man and a hardcore asshole, which one will the woman date? Are the emotional hooks so strong that the balanced cool guy would become invisible?

Of course I've seen some cases of boys recovering faster, but the general trend I've seen and also confirmed by friends and acquaintances is that girls have a very quick and deep downfall and then a sudden rising of mood and self esteem, while boys tend to remain calmly depressed, in a steady manner for a long time, also remaining inactive for a bit. That's also my personal experience. My exes moved on very fast even though they were affectionate and loving towards me, while I remained somehow below the surface of neutrality (between apathetic and depressed) for a long time, with a tendency to stay idle. In my opinion girls move on faster because they have a lot of options to forget about their last bf. They breakup already texting and keeping contact with new guys, and this helps them to enjoy their new dating life almost immediately. What's your take on this? I appreciate female opinions especially

Well, techically purple stage was already dead in european culture since the roman republic (in italy) and then completely disappeared in western europe with the advent of christianity which leveled up all the barbaric folks to red (feudal castles) and blue. U.S.A. was born in an era where europe was full solid blue, and so were the founding fathers. European culture was very fast to dismiss beige/purple/red in general.

Thanks! I like RSD in general!

Great explanation, now I understand a lot more. But I needed the perspective of a woman, especially one on the path of self actualization. I've had problems in understanding the feminine in the past and now I'm on the path of rediscovering it. Also, a big problem I had to remove, and I'm on the right track now, is anima possession and seeing women as cold and manipulative, which has damaged me a lot in the past. Thanks again much love

Thanks! I really appreciate the honest and deep answer. Regarding (1): is it possible for a young man as myself to develop this? And how do you suggest doing it? Regarding (2): I have a very close female friend who's very feminine, and she listened to my issues about my last breakup. Do you think it is a nice form of becoming emotionally healthy for a man? Regarding (3): why? if the breakup is peaceful and openly discussed (as my breakups have been) what's the point in hiding feelings? I don't get it. You can breakup in an honest manner.

Hey Leo. Well, I never said that there are no women under a dark spell in a relationship. Of course there are and I'm sorry for them. I'm just talking about the average decently sociable girl, which has a lot of support from friends and a lot of parties where to find new boyfriends.

Yeah, that's probably the reason! But isn't it unfair for boys? I mean, men in the wild didn't have the luxury to waste their time too. So why do we suffer longer? I don't get it.

When humans lived in nature as wild animals resources (food, shelter) were hard to gain. If men were wired like women, all humans would be extinct. Social guys are attractive not because of "feminine qualities" but because they can be leaders in a primitive tribe. Thus leading the group to survival. Both social and logical men exist because they have different skills to keep the tribe alive. Leadership and technology (axes, spears, shields, traps etc) are different skills.

This topic is very interesting. The problem with moving from full orange (with zero traces of blue ideology) to green is that green feels A LOT like blue dogma. It has some kind of religious and ritual feel to it that's scary to an individualist. Also our western recent history puts a lot of emphasis on the gaining of freedom and pushback against collectivism (world war II, cold war, and the history of indepedence gained from monarchies all over europe/north america. The value of freedom and personal responsibility is very strong in the west and this is what creates fear and distrust towards green, because it has that "cult" feel about it, like some kind of modern religion/traditionalism. I'm using myself as an example, because I grew out of blue stage in my teenage years and this strong repulsion towards collectivism and group-think is sometimes triggered when I see green activism or green dogma. But I get it that it's just a phase, and I'm already halfway through green myself.

If you actually tried game, you would know that money has ZERO impact in attracting and dating modern women, in the western world. Looks... it's good in the first periods where you are getting to know each other, but it fades away very soon. Game, if we define it as charisma, social awareness and masculine energy, is the actual attractive force for modern women. Resources (money) were useful to attract women in the previous centuries, but especially in very very ancient times, because we were tribal or even nomads and women had to choose a mate who had a lot of resources to provide to the kids. In the postmodern world money is actually the worst thing you can show to a woman, because it displays that you are so fucking desperate and socially low value that you have to bribe them. A nice "currency" to modern women is social proof and social awareness. Because it displays that you are a good leader of people and possibly a very pleasant emotion in her private life.Try going to a club with "money" and see what you get. 99% of girls will laugh at you and the rest will exploit your money while fucking the socially calibrated and funny guy behind your back. Money is also a very "beta male" thing to show off to girls.

I mean that heaven and hell don't exist. If you truly care about your spiritual well-being, then start the inner work.

Distraction is the ego's favourite defense mechanism. There's also a video on Leo's channel. You're avoiding the solutions we gave you. WHO CARES about heaven and hell. Imaginary places of an imaginary god. You have emotional and spiritual problems, and you keep on distracting yourself with bullshit concerns like Mordor and the hobbit's Shire. Watch Leo's video on life purpose and life vision, and also the video I gave you, which is specific for avoiding and stopping the downward spiral your ego created.

Dude, there's no paradise. If someone kills himself he's going to disappear forever. And lose all life opportunites. There's no paradise and no female virgins awaiting you in the afterlife. I'm the same age as you and I was very hopeless and demotivated a few years ago. You can do it. Reconnect with nature, find bliss in just taking a break in the park with a bicycle, or walking. Feel the connection with pets, if you have one; bond with friends. You are just reinforcing the negative beliefs and this pattern is making your ego TRICK you into believing that suicide is good. It's not good, dude. It's just your ego subjugating you, and enslaving you with pessimism. This will help a lot. WATCH IT.

I'm going to embarass myself for the sake of being honest and sincere here. I've had some girlfriends in my life, and I'm 29 this year. I'm having a deep sexual crisis right now, like some kind of "end-of-twenties crisis". I feel like I've only had serious gfs and this is making me feel like I've wasted my youth (of course I'm still young but not super young) on monogamy. I see a lot of girls I know as friends who have a lot of casual sex and fuckbuddies and this makes me feel inadequate, because I can clearly see that women have random sex while me, as a young man, am not. Also this reinforces my shadow conflict with the feminine because I feel like they (girls) can have sexual fun and I can't. I have this strong ego push to try a period in my life where I'm just the fuckboy (or fuccboi ). It's very very hardcore, it's keeping me awake at night, while some of my female friends keep on telling me how good they fuck with random people (no judgement of course). This is completely ruining me, I truly need to have this "degenerate" period in my life, or I'll continue to feel in competition with women. What's your opinion? Is it unhealthy? If women are allowed to do it then I can do it too.