billiesimon

Yes, you can't "sell yourself" into a relationship. But if you act unavailable and you are an ungrounded and directionless guy, you will get no women. They are attracted to the masculine polarity of direction and confidence, not the emotional avoidance. Emotional avoidance is not value, just dysfunction. Value = masculine energy/willpower/direction. There are a lot of PUAs who play "direct game" and show absolute authentic interest in the woman, they even ask for instant dates, and they have massive success. There's no evolutionary reason to be attracted to avoidant behaviour, since you can be totally avoidant but weak and non-confident at the same time I was totally emotionally unavailable in high school and no girl wanted me. Because I was not confident and not determined in interacting with them. But that's just my 2 cents.

From what I see girls are attracted to grounded and determined men, not avoidant men, unless these women are dysfunctional. So how would it be possible for a man to get a girlfriend if he had to be constantly unavailable? The best couples are the ones where both are emotionally open.

Very interesting! I need to go deeper Right now I have still not experience absolute infinity, but just timeless/eternal awareness, formless attention, and ego death. With ego death I mean "this body is the same as this floor, sky, objects, sounds etc". I clearly understand that the body is just a dream image. There's also the clear sensation of timelessness and eternity. It's basically realizing that I am an eternal Eye who watches reality forever and ever. I can also distort the images of reality on my will, when I have awakenings. I see houses and cars and streets distort on my decision. They are my first awakenings. I've had only three. * 1st with 4-HO-MET (tryptamine), 13 mg plugged (medium-light) - This one was just a raw and powerful explosion of unconditional Love, where I also saw reality turn into fractals while crying of absolute happiness and love. * 2nd with LSD, 160 ug plugged - This one was deeper and I could SENSE the quest for awakening that consciousness was having through my human life. * 3rd with 4-HO-MET, 16 mg plugged. - This is the most powerful thus far. I've clearly felt that I could be killed at any moment and my awareness of existing would have remained the same, and only the body would have died. I've also deconstructed the Mind as total illusion and a tool to navigate the world of forms. Amazing feeling of being invicible and being this floating formless entity, the Watcher, as Eckhart calls it.

Yes, this is exactly my direct experience with awakening. It's all just a dream texture, where objects exist only when observed. That's because attention on something, manifests that thing. But reality is structured in a way where the mind can operate without freaking out. If there was no consistency, the mind would become insane. But it's just a dream, a videogame world, so to speak. When you play the videogame, the map gets rendered on screen as you move on. Apart from this, consciousness is still a huge mystery with lots of unknown areas.

Absolutely So you can have an actual experience of God different from the sense of being eternal awareness?

What I don't understand is that I keep having awakenings in my trips, but they all point to the same revelation: I am not a human but a formless "attention/awareness". Everything else feels like a dream I am having. But I feel no God. Just "I". And this "I" is as clueless as my human form, but it is perfectly conscious of living a dream and that there's no death, just eternity. Isn't it awakening?

I've only had the facet of awakening related to "I am the only entity, and my ego/human form is a dream." I still feel no God in my awakenings. There' just me as pure eternal awareness. Aren't they the same type of awakening?

Your signature sentence is exactly what I mean with my thread I have realized "god" in my psychedelic trips, but the fact remains that it's not god but it's ME, with capital letters An entity entirely made of "attention" or the ability to just be present. It's hard to explain. I don't like the term god because it tends to create separation, while in fact I am being it right now but I'm just not enough awake to feel it now.

I'm not talking about the ego, I'm talking about the awareness, the attention that is ever present in existence. The attention that gives form to the formless. Ramana Maharshi, as an example, called it the sense of "I", which is not to be confused with the identity

Yes, but what I'm trying to say is that there's just the sense of "I", which is ever present in the human experience. God is a word I don't like, since it tends to create separation. It's just ME, but I am not conscious enough to feel my own power and ability to manifest this sensory reality in the present moment God is a problematic word, "I" is a lot better, because you can clearly feel this I AM in every moment of the day, if you concentrate on existence itself.

Hahaha what do you mean with cheat codes?

My ego/identity. But at the same time there's no difference between ego and consciousness, since the ego is just a thought structure that consciousness is observing and becoming absorbed into. So, you could also say that the observer is actually trying to trascend the ego by using the ego itself, with intentions like "I want to awaken/ I want to find my true self". It's some kind of paradox, because in oneness there's no difference between ego and awareness.

Hey, I've made a lot of spiritual progress in the last year, especiall with shadow work, awareness of my own mental patterns, I've healed a lot of projection, social problems, family problems, and I've had glimpses of awakening with psychedelics, and improved a lot of my mindsets towards life. Nonetheless.... I have recently encountered A LOT of depression and total lack of motivation in building a passionate life, and builing my life purpose. I have a life purpose, I have several passions, and I actually HAVE A LOT OF DESIRE to create this things. But... It's just that in these recent weeks, after the small awakening and the HUGE progress with shadow work and uncovering my childhood traumas.... my motivation has disappeared out of nowhere, everything seems meaningless, but AT THE SAME TIME I really really want to achieve these dreams!!! I really want them!! But now they seem so far away.... I feel like ALL MY emotional ghosts and skeletons are emerging to the surface and they are suffocating my life force and demanding my constant attention, while in the past they were buried under the subconscious and they were operating in the background without my awareness of them. Now I AM AWARE of them at such a level that they are suffocating me and depriving me of life force. THe irony is that my awareness is still a lot higher than before, and I can clearly feel all my insecurities and shadows. I am definitely more mindful, but it seems like a debilitating skill... What should I do? How do I regain the motivation and empowerment to achieve my dreams? I feel so drained right now. Thanks for the advice

The law should be equal and everybody should be able to rely on it if they get mistreated by another person. It doesn't matter which gender you are. Men and women are just illusions made by the mind, there are no men and women. Society must enforce safety and respect for everybody, it doesn't matter if it's a man or a woman. The best laws and social norms are gender neutral.

Yes, I want enligthenment I also want to keep working on my passions and dreams. And sometimes this passion becomes weaker because I feel lost. I trust that alignment with oneness will guide me towards the good life.

Thanks Leo

Yeah, it definitely feels like a lot like recovery pain. I'm going to push forward. Thank you for the personal anecdote

Starting from the small things to move towards a more positive vibe I see. I was so focused on the big goals that I have completely forgotten the importance of cultivating a nice vibe with small things. It's a nuanced and very interesting advice, I will start today. Thanks Yes, I guess I can only reverse the negative vibe with positive vibe, starting from the details. If i think big I get depressed because I feel far away... Thanks again

Yeah, I meditate everyday for 50 mins, and practice shadow work sessions too But it doesn't help much. Which beliefs do I have to let go of? I don't understand the hint.

Frieza is an excellent example of stage red's hunger for power and egomania. On the other hand, Goku is an excellent example of a stage green warrior. He has very little ego compared to other people in the series, and cares a lot about defending almost everybody

I have no experience with DMT but I'm interested. Can you get a huge effect out of a small dose of DMT by using a huge dose of MAOI?

Now I understand why we love ignorance and living in autopilot. This is too much. We need to escape into fantasyland, because our deep existential nature is TOO MUCH!!!! It's just a story!!! My life is just a story!!! A screenplay!!! I am not the movie character, I AM and that's it!!! I need the story because the story gives me contrast, it gives me the ILLUSION of separation in order for me to OBSERVE MYSELF!!!! I am IGNORANT about my own existential nature, thus I unconsciously project A STORY, a human life, to find myself and to discover my nature. There's no meditation, no self inquiry and no psychedelics. IT'S ALL A STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am already awakened, but this is also a HUGE PARADOX because I realize that the story is necessary for me to awaken, I AM BOTH AWAKENED AND ASLEEP!!!! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO PROCESS WITH HUMAN LOGIC!!!!!! Humans are just a story. Being male is just a story. Chakras are just a story. @Leo Gura is just a story!!! this one actually made me feel REALLY ALONE, because I have decided my own awakening WITHOUT my conscious consent!!!! This is both awesome and HORRIBLE!!!! Because now I can feel how I am all alone, without answers, without another one beside me, and in this eternal seeking forever. Yet I don't want to get back to ignorance, because I feel free, I feel happier, I feel like now I am authentic. But..... everything is collapsing. It's just a story........... a movie......... perfectly written. My ego is so sad and depressed now. It's just a story. It's just a story. The only reason to exist is to find that "WHY?". Why? I AM here to look for that why. But this life is just a story. I was never unconscious. The past does not exist. Yet I was unconscious. And yet I've always been awake. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for the great advice ? Which ironically comes from and goes to the same entity

From my experience with psychedelics and glimpses of awakening, it seems like psychedelics are just random chemicals just like water, rocks, iron, bleach etc.... They have no special powers. It's just that God decided that some particular chemicals can be used as a catalyst for awakening, but it's completely random. There's no actual meaning behind the chemical formula of psychedelics. It's just a movie basically. At least that's what I feel when I use them and awaken.

Thanks a lot I'm also going to read your dreamboard thread and try it! Does visualizations and classic vibrational techniques still work?