RendHeaven

between you and Leo, you are clearly the frustrated one

Yup that's a mic drop

You would get destroyed by an effeminate fuckboy smoothtalker going lay for lay.

and another timestamp. nail in the coffin.

first 20 minutes are extremely on-topic for this thread. vid timestamped for the punchline

Spiritual ego.

Congrats on the surgery. I read you as being very vigilant and wise. Indeed you took every precaution - it's hard to find any oversight in your mindset or actions. Personally, I'm not so guarded about plastic surgery. I think it's totally cool and entirely up to the individual. Maybe I'm only able to take this stance because I am a monkey-brained male (i.e. I'm not the one going under the knife, so my emotions are not personally involved. This "insulates" me from the downsides of plastic surgery, while I only experience and observe the positives) But fundamentally we must ask, is it so wrong for a woman to willingly want to be more beautiful? Like, really? How could you possibly fault any girl for wanting this? There is something so pure and honest and celebratory about wanting to be the prettiest flower (independent of the male gaze. I'm talking about pure aesthetics - consciousness admiring its highest instantiation of structured orderliness). I reject the idea that beauty is a totally arbitrary "standard" wrought by the whims of society. Human aesthetic beauty at a high level boils down to proxies for health, fertility, sexual dimorphism, and geometric balance. (key word: PROXIES. For example, being beautiful does not guarantee you are healthy or fertile and vice versa. However, there is a high-level abstract association which is undeniable. The is a reason we celebrate glowing skin, hourglass curves, thick long hair, etc. rather than dull blemished skin, brick-like bodies and whispy damaged hair. This is not arbitrary whim. Also notice how youth favors the former and not the latter. Again, not an accident) There is a real deep intelligence behind my preference for an instagram model over an obese saggy crusty grandma. This is not a mere social construct. Though, of course, from GOD's POV both are equally beautiful - but that's beyond the scope of this convo lol tl;dr: you are faultless for investing in your aesthetics - especially since you already accounted for all the physical/psychological traps. P.S. your politics are very impressive as well, very stage yellow.

Right, which means psychedelics must be a fuel, by your logic, since they leave me so charged!

gotcha. just be good looking AND have the most fun. simple!

He's not lying folks, total chad. Damn 80%+ reject rate ... That's inspiring!

This all pains me. Spectating aggressive, willful ignorance and bluster physically hurts. You want to slap them across the face and FORCE them to see the obviousness of their wrongness. But you can't force these things, you can't argue with stupid and expect to win. And more fundamentally, the need to change people for their wrongness is a lack of acceptance on my own part. The best move may be to just stick to your epistemic guns, and vocalize what you see as right (+be willing to admit your wrongs). Reach the people who are willing to hear you, completely ignore the rest (you can't change them). Trust higher Intelligence to course-correct eventually, whether it be through the organic growth of truth changing minds one at a time - or more likely, everyone suffers until we snap and begin to guillotine the devils (karma).

I use sports research https://www.amazon.com/Sports-Research-Verified-Mini-Liquid-Softgels/dp/B00JGCBGZQ?ref_=ast_sto_dp&th=1

No wonder I feel so charged after a psychedelic trip

This is really impressive. It's a strong description of the Intelligent Self-Organization and Self-Comprehension of Consciousness. Peak states for me play out much like you describe but taken to the nth degree. However, in ordinary life, my faculties appear more limited (whether that's true or not), and much of my time is spent going through each node in linear one-dimensionality. But I'm fond of it so it's ok.

Year 4 of eating beef and rice every meal every single day. 26 more to go

@CoolDreamThanks That sounds very authentic for you man, Godspeed

This is palpably wrong to me. My deepest trips have all been traumatizing, teetering on total panic/meltdown territory. This is a category of terror beyond anything I've ever experienced as a human. All of my daily mundane fears are an offshoot of this greater primordial fear of confronting Consciousness. Nothing scares me more than psychs.

Because my human life is Love.

take this https://www.bdsmtest.org/select-lang

@Schizophonia I thought you were scared of 5meodmt lol

@aurum how do we feel about this?

Correct - and my point was that I myself reject my own insight. And nobody here is above this. When I say: "In fact, Infinite orgasm, Infinite Goodness, and Infinite benevolence are all the things I listed earlier" - part of me can't accept that. That tension is by design, and I don't trust anybody who claims they can "effortlessly surrender" to Truth overnight. Ultimately, yes, Truth/Love must be effortless because it is all that there is. But that's a Platonic, holistic meta-insight, and not any of our lived experiences. In practice, we are the ones that make Truth/Love difficult. That's not a "limiting belief," that is an essential cornerstone of the Awakening journey. And it will never go away. Because there is a bottomless wormhole in surrendering to Truth, and Consciousness will always have its tolerance limit (an ever-expanding ladder of Self-Acceptance. It doesn't end!) You must imagine even the most proficient spiritual guru has a a tolerance limit at which he recoils in horror, shits his pants and starts crying for mommy. Not because Consciousness is evil or bad, but because his current Identity is incapable generating and holding truly UNLIMITED Love for all. Because as much Love as this human can muster, Infinity will eclipse and circumscribe his mastered domain, and he is forced to "stretch" outwards, to "fill space" beyond his mastered domain, as his Love is Eternally tested. How is it possible that even an enlightened person would struggle with limits? Because God itself recoils at itself. That's all this ever was! But God Loves itself for not being able to Love itself, and gently guides itself further into Itself, resolving the conflict until it hits the next wall (which, too, is itself). Thus, being near the bottom of that ladder, we inevitably recoil (at the horrors of our own vastness) after a certain level of exposure to Truth. Truth/Love is a project of progressive overload. The exposure level at which you recoil today will be effortless to you 5 years from now after you've familiarized yourself with more Consciousness. This project of ascending the Infinite Surrender ladder is not a human project across linear time. It is the MO of the ONE Consciousness, and this is all You have ever done and will ever do for Eternity. The high-level telos of this progressive overload is the Actualization/Flowering of metaphysical Love. It's designed as a ladder with threshold guardians as rungs because this is most compelling way to make the Love obvious and visceral. Anybody who thinks that the exploration of Consciousness is a cakewalk simply does not fathom their own depth and has never even reached the first threshold guardian (of which there are Infinite).

Yes, he did derail I will grant you that

@Eskilon In fact, Infinite orgasm, Infinite Goodness, and Infinite benevolence are all the things I listed earlier.

Right, but the teacher reserves the right to stay silent - and yes, judge - until the student proves himself capable of a more earnest heart to heart. The student doesn't get to demand answers or accuse the teacher of being "egoic" when considering the larger dynamic.