RendHeaven

Same story bro What's your life purpose? Focusing on LP (aka self-love) seems like the only way out...

Why hello there dream girl ??

You just answered your own question lol. The chances of meeting a sexy and ELITE woman on the street is already like winning the lottery... the chances of meeting a sexy and ELITE woman on a dating app is nonexistent.

Ya'll making fun of Leo but meanwhile you make no effort to proactively find your dream girl I don't know about you, but if I was a woman I'd hit him up (not joking). I mean, did you see his freaking picture? He was drinking his SUPER HEALTHY BLUEBERRY SMOOTHIE RECIPE!!!

That's cap lmao

I don't know about you, but there's no way I'm letting anyone who hurt me live in my head rent-free

I like how you focused on my cheeky jab instead of self-reflecting. This is how you perpetuate your own suffering. Just look in your response how personally attached you are to the idea of her as YOURS (you even bolded "FOR ME," lol), it's totally absurd. I'm going to be extra harsh on you here to try and wake you up especially since you said not to be harsh I've been in a similar position as you in the past, and looking back, I wish someone would've slapped me in the face. Try not to take any of this personally. Try not to refute me or defend yourself. Any DEFENDING you do is simply more ATTACHMENT, do you see this? You have no idea what it's like to fuck her brains out as she creams all over your dick, utterly vulnerable and submissive. You have no idea what it's like for her to have a panic attack in your arms, her tears soaking your shirt as she melts into a degenerate mess. You have no idea what it's like to make daily, small loving gestures to each other as a reminder of how grateful you are of each other. You have no idea what it's like for her to withdraw from you (or cry to you) because you hurt her. Or, maybe she's just incapable of being vulnerable... you wouldn't know. I'm sorry, but all of these stories you spin about her being perfect is a total self-lie. You never really knew her or loved her. You only know and love your personal, constructed, and imaginary version of her. You "know" and "love" "her" as she appears through the lens of your worldview, your wants, and your needs. You don't know her or love her as she imagines herself to be, or as she appears to herself, nor do you know her or love her for who she actually is. What's HER perfect man? From her point of view? What does she desire and aspire to? What is she like in the absence of men? Have you ever thought of this? "I'm not good enough for her" is NOT actually thinking of things from her point of view. "I'm not good enough for her" is your own personal fantasy. You're injecting yourself into her story. You've been loving your own self-injected story of her this whole time. Maybe for her, you're just not in the picture entirely. Can you imagine that, fully understand and empathize with it, embrace and accept it, be grateful of it, and deeply LOVE it? This "perfect FOR ME" (in your own words) girl is 1% truth and 99% lie. You made up "perfect" and then you tried to cram her into it. This is very unloving of you. ME ME ME ME ME. That's all you've said in this thread. Isn't that true? Scroll up and see. Every time you talk about her, it's really about you. Is this surprising? Does it suck to have that pointed out? Don't fight it. Putting up a fight is more attachment, more ego, more self-deceiving. Just drop this insane story and move on with life! She's simply not perfect. She's not. "But you don't understand, you don't know her like I do!" She's. Not. Perfect. There are millions of girls out there that are better than her. "You don't get it, she's perfect FOR ME" Nope, you're doing it again. ME ME ME. This is not love. This is TOXIC. In fact, the more perfect you insist she is, the less perfect she actually is. You're totally blind until this clicks for you. It's laughable that you have this idea of her as the best possible girl "for you" without even having dated her. I would be much less harsh if you actually had a long relationship with her and you were feeling this way, but that's just not the case. When I was a teenager, someone grilled my ego on this forum, and I grew a lot from it even though it sucked at first. I hope you choose to grow. Sincerely, wishing you the best man

Check out my journal. Our situations are different, but maybe there's value there My now-ex was a 10/10 and straight up dumped my dumbass. I guarantee she was superior to your crush by every measure (joking, but not really ) Except, I actually committed myself to her and got punished for it. Soooo... from my perspective, you are just really silly for being so attached to someone you haven't even had deep intimacy with (but then again all attachment is silly and I'm silly too!) Hopefully at a minimum you can see how unoriginal it is to think, "nobody is possibly better than her!" and find some peace in that In fact, I myself am finding peace in this very thread. You got this, brother.

Fucking a lot of girls (aka "experience") does not equate to competence. Part of sexual competence is bringing emotions out of your partner - something he's clearly not succeeding in. At the same time, maybe you're not really trying either... it goes both ways I think all I'm trying to reveal here is that yes - even though this is a personal, internal issue - your partner nonetheless plays an enormous role since sex is a shared experience. If your partner is not making you feel incredible, that's his deficiency. Don't beat yourself up for that!

Let me guess - you got with some really incompetent (awkward, selfish, hurtful, boring, etc.) people

Incredible, I'm out of a relationship too except she broke up with me. It's crazy to me that every post here is about self-growth. You seem totally unphased by your "loss." There's a lot for me to learn from your energy

We're rooting for you

You got this

You know, my ex used to "play" this "game" with me. Eventually she dumped me because, just like you, she didn't want to play it anymore. It became fake for her at some point down the road. However, there was once a time in the beginning when she played this game willingly and enthusiastically, because it empowered her. So actually, it IS possible for you to authentically "treat her differently" without a forced effort. Don't box yourself into black-and-white thinking (i.e. "ALL special treatment fakery"). It is genuine affection is effortless if you're both in the same headspace (heartspace?) Reading your post though, it seems like y'all ain't in that heartspace. And that's totally fine! Don't shy away from separation if you hear it calling. At the same time, don't close yourself off to the possibility of becoming an affectionate lover one day.

My personal opinion is that if you have a specific aspect of your face or body you don't like, just change it if there is a surgery for it The only thing about plastic surgery that turns me off is when people go overboard and change a majority of their features to the point of being unrecognizable. At that point it's like, "Ok bro you're really compensating there and not giving yourself any self-love." You know this is the case because they keep going under the knife, and they get addicted to the compounding procedures. It never seems to be enough. (Keep in mind I'm not morally demonizing the latter group, just expressing my aversion to such life choices~)

@Michal__ A lot of the OP's views are drenched in subtle sexism. This is true. The key here is "subtle." The majority of sexism is no longer men yelling "I HATE WOMEN." Be more nuanced You don't see it as a guy because you cannot fathom what it's like to live as a woman having to deal with male shit.

@Carl-Richard I love you lol

@Thestarguitarist14 I agree with Khr. Growth from relationships are priceless. 1) This is a laughably narrow worldview. I can tell you've never been in a life-transforming relationship (or if you were, you never recovered from the hurt). Open your mind to the possibility that a beautiful-but-painful relationship might be the best thing to ever happen to you. 2) This is what it looks like when you refuse the call to become a hero. A failed relationship is a cosmic invitation to grow. It's not the woman's fault that so many men decline this invitation. Bingo. To be fair though, a man does want to be on the same team as his woman. Ideally, you want a loving dynamic of "shit-giving." Constant blaming and withholding is just insufferable and erodes a relationship (though you're right, either case invites you to grow!) This is the most absurd shit I've ever heard so far. Maybe you chose all the wrong kinds of women. @Preety_India You make excellent points on this thread and on this forum. However, in this instance you are not entirely correct, and you are missing a deep truth that @Thestarguitarist14 is sharing. Almost any dignified woman will leave their partner if he becomes unattractive (aka losing his 'masculine edge'). This is what is meant by "ends up being a provider." Do not contend with me on this. I have multiple brutal experiences (fresh out of one, actually) of being in a relationship with an incredible girl only for her to dump my dumbass after an year or 2 when I begin to put her before myself (aka she becomes my life purpose, I do everything for her but at the same time I need her, I lose my 'masculine edge,' I become a provider). These painful experiences did NOT happen because I "chose all the wrong kinds of women." They happened because I did not love myself. I think this is what the original post is addressing

Ask yourself

@Tim R ohhhhhhh boy haha You're watching a criminal with his back against a wall sweating bullets!

Nice. Very predictable Do read the guidelines though. You can choose to ignore me, but not the guidelines.

Bruh lmao Government: "Middle English: from Old French governement, from governer." Yes, it's literally just French. "Ment" is just a typical adverb ending. You pulled this "mind" stuff straight out of your ass. Politic: "late Middle English: from Old French politique ‘political’, via Latin from Greek politikos, from politēs ‘citizen’, from polis ‘city’." All it takes is a google search Parasites? Really? I honestly can't tell if you're serious. If you're serious, well, wow. If you're just joking/trying to be fancy with metaphors, notice that you've still said nothing. Yes, you are being ideological. You are holding a biased and partial view of the world and not acknowledging how it is a construction of your own mind. When called out on it, you accuse others of close-mindedness (which, even if it's true, does not excuse your own close-mindedness). "I am sharing views" is meaningless. Any spoken or written word is "sharing views." The reason people are pushing back is because you're just wrong lol. Re-read the forum guidelines: "NOTE: This is NOT an anything-goes free speech zone! You do NOT get to say toxic & fallacious things here with impunity." Nobody is "triggered." The insistence that "You're so close-minded, you won't see the objective truth that I have" is a convenient shield to avoid admitting and working on your own close-mindedness

@Forestluv Shall we be optimistic or not?

Never, ever, ever.

Lmao, "do you feel threatened" More like somberly impressed at how attached people can be to their own beliefs