RendHeaven

Hey - how did this go?

Alright... Most deeply I want life to feel magical, like you. (Though I am taking this wording from an old Leo video) Everything I desire is either consciously or subconsciously aiming at that goal. As for something I like? Hmm... w̶o̶m̶e̶n̶ I like the sensation of brilliantly voiced 7-chords and extended-chords in solo piano music :3

@aurum This is steamy I'll 3rd wheel.

@aurum Hey, what have you been up to recently? I'm seeing a resurgence of posts from you and it's really exciting. I remember a couple years ago you were a mod and a lot of your posts were stage yellow, but now they seem turquoise

I'm curious to know what you consider "sad" music My favorite music is both sad and happy at the same time - like most of life. I'm not a fan of blocking thoughts. It makes your energy more dense. Rather, try fully feeling the emotion and allowing it to be. This is WAY harder than blocking off, but it's more healing!

It's amazing how some people responding to this mere suggestion to "make more friends" come off as tense, like an attack dog baring its teeth. A lot of people retaliating against the word "need," as though they need to correct this language to guard their status quo I think @ivory has a beautiful perspective. The patience in their replies is telling

Fearless. Loving. <These are critical. Develop them by any means possible. Notice that your entire life contributes to your fear and love levels. Anything else is pretty trivial Absolutely do not make a habit out of porn. Once in a month or so is fine, but you need to learn to connect with your body without shiny screen-pixels hypnotizing you. Find a way to make masturbation (by which I mean edging; ejaculation is optional) feel magical again.

Trump's appointments to the supreme court are unbelievably toxic and problematic. Their entire modus operandi is to STRIP FREEDOM from women, minorities + poor people. So yes, they are the antithesis of freedom. Nobody is trying to get rid of the 1st amendment. This is a conservative myth

Np I feel surprisingly content rn I will continue to detail all of my crippling insecurities and the letting go process. I really hope that will help other guys in the future. That is one thing that I really like about your journal, when I find relatable moments it gives me a boost

Love your realness

You're right on the money Experience, experience, experience.

Well, back when I posted that comment I was still in a relationship, haha. But not anymore... Wrote about my feelings in my new Journal

Here's why real change is way harder than merely doing self-improvement exercises: Real abundance is when you know deeply that you've got the power to drop her ass in a heartbeat. If you're already needy, you might work on yourself to the point that you tell yourself that "I have the power to walk away," but you'll never actually do it. You're too attached to the sex and validation. You'll constantly try to save the relationship primarily, with "walking away" being a distant, neglected option even if you convince yourself that you've unlocked that option.

You're probably right, but I am coming at this from the perspective of longevity~ Do your damned best to keep it going Just don't be surprised when it all crumbles... from my experience when I become needy, the relationship is doomed to fail in a matter of time (no matter how I try to hide it or change myself). Doesn't hurt to be honest though: "Hey, have I been making you feel [uncomfortable/overwhelmed] recently? I've been feeling ignored, how do you feel?" Don't expect rainbows and sunshine. She might give you 2 word responses like: "I'm fine" If that happens, DO NOT respond with shit like, "See you're doing it again" Phrasing things in a way that blames her (no matter how true it seems to you) is actually a part of your neediness, and she will realize that you're full of shit. Instead, say something like: "Yeah, you're fine as hell~ I'd love to hear more tho, I'm here for you if you ever wanna talk" To get her to pay lots of attention to you again, you will have to prove to her over and over that you're not an insecure bitch. This means dealing with her games without playing any of your own games.

No, he is still fucked if he does this Source: Tons of irl experience ^this

Yes, you are needy, and from a survival standpoint you're fucked, lol. I've been there (still living it, if I'm honest). It will never, ever pan out in the long run if you play these attention/power games with each other. Why? Because every time you play this game, you hurt her (and she hurts you). Even if you "ignore her to focus on yourself" you subtly aim to pull away from her (the same way she pulls away from you - as if to say "you hurt me so I'll hurt you!"), and she feels that. Conversely, if you "focus on showing her love" you subtly aim to guilt her - as if to say, "I've given you love so now you've gotta give me love!" - and again, she feels that. You gotta cut the shit from the root. End your neediness and drop the games. That is the only solution. Way easier said than done though. If you are like 99.9% of men, you'll pretend to not be needy while secretly being needy, all the way to the end of your relationship...

Hello? Did LEO grow amazing hair and put on a suit?

This is very inspiring Keep it up, I am eager for updates~

Sounds good on paper, but you're making it completely about sex and that's not reality. Even if you (think that you) have the best sex game on the planet, if you're not fulfilling other critical needs, she can always leave you for someone else who will. Trust me on this one

Enjoy! Decent translation of the Japanese here: https://www.reddit.com/r/SakuraGakuin/comments/5zr7tm/translated_lyrics_for_cosmos_song/

1) I asked before, "What do you think she owes you? What about her do you think is a limited asset?" You haven't fully answered this yet. It goes at least 10 layers deep. Spell out each layer for yourself (it may hurt). If nothing comes to mind, take a rest and contemplate the same question once again at a later time For example, if you answer the above questions with simply, "loyalty!" You still have to break that down and ask what loyalty really means to you. What if she is technically your "girlfriend" by name, but she spends ALL of her time and energy with other dreaded men? She could argue that she's being loyal, but I'm willing to bet my left nutsack that your jealousy would be off the rails and that in your head, you would classify this as a soft form of BETRAYAL (the feelings of betrayal comes in degrees, it's not an on/off switch). Go deeper. Why is this betrayal? Well surely you must of had some expectations of her, which she did not meet. Maybe in this particular example, you expected her to devote disproportionate amounts of time and energy to you relative to other guys, an expectation which she failed to meet. GO DEEPER. Why did you have this expectation in the first place? Do you OWN her time and energy, or is she free to spend it however she likes? Do you WANT to own her time and energy? If so, what feelings do you hope to feel from that ownership? Or, if you concede that you aren't entitled to any part of her, why do you insist on certain unspoken expectations? For whatever answer comes up, go deeper. You said: "When I say betray it’s basically go with other guy. I don’t care about her having fun with friends." You keep dancing around the word "SEX." Isn't that right? Think about it... 2) I feel you brother. My questions come from experience, lol. 3) You said: "I don’t fully understand why she is looking for attention in other places.(Instagram for example) But it something that women do, I guess." You phrase that as if to say, "She ought to be content with MY attention ONLY! Grr!"

Lmfao, stage coral commentary. Yes, because all women are sex sluts who can't say no to some good dick even if the guy is a pathetic ball of jealousy -__- That is your implied message~ You sure you want to stand by that? Imo, addressing the "pathetic ball of jealousy" bit is more important than the "good dick" part, because I believe that women (in general, some more than others,) have genuine wants that are unrelated to sex Oh god yes, it's so funny how your mind starts spinning self-defense narratives to preserve your pride: "she wasn't that hot anyway," "I wasn't really that seriously anyway..." It's the same sore-loser mentality of a 12 year old who lost a game in Fortnite: "Pfft winning isn't such a big deal bro," "I wasn't even trying bro..."

Go deeper. "jump on the opportunity?" What does that even mean? The opportunity to do what? Why don't you trust her with whatever it is? "my main fear is to trust and get betrayed." Again, what does this mean? What are you trusting her with? To not enjoy social interactions? "Baby how dare you enjoy hanging out with him! I trusted you!" Lol What is your understanding of "betrayal?" What do you think she owes you? What about her do you think is a limited asset? The answer might not be pretty. Be brutally honest with yourself. Why do you monopolize her? Have you thought of how she feels and what she wants? What if she just wants to express her freedom and enjoys the social energy of hanging out with other guys, but you're seething in the corner with dense energy? (yes, she does feel it) Does this make her feel loved and trusted, or the opposite?

I've noticed social confidence is a different category from spirituality in my own life. The more isolated and contemplative I am, the more harmony I have with the universe - however, simultaneously I become less charismatic lol. I think I get too comfortable with being alone and suddenly thrusting myself into a social atmosphere brings back old programming about how I ought to be behaving, etc. and I stifle myself into a self-made box. The solution of course, is to simply interact with people more!

holy shit is this real? At first I read "cum" and though "hehe nice meme" and then I thought of it more seriously and it seems really profound