RendHeaven

We're rooting for you

You got this

You know, my ex used to "play" this "game" with me. Eventually she dumped me because, just like you, she didn't want to play it anymore. It became fake for her at some point down the road. However, there was once a time in the beginning when she played this game willingly and enthusiastically, because it empowered her. So actually, it IS possible for you to authentically "treat her differently" without a forced effort. Don't box yourself into black-and-white thinking (i.e. "ALL special treatment fakery"). It is genuine affection is effortless if you're both in the same headspace (heartspace?) Reading your post though, it seems like y'all ain't in that heartspace. And that's totally fine! Don't shy away from separation if you hear it calling. At the same time, don't close yourself off to the possibility of becoming an affectionate lover one day.

My personal opinion is that if you have a specific aspect of your face or body you don't like, just change it if there is a surgery for it The only thing about plastic surgery that turns me off is when people go overboard and change a majority of their features to the point of being unrecognizable. At that point it's like, "Ok bro you're really compensating there and not giving yourself any self-love." You know this is the case because they keep going under the knife, and they get addicted to the compounding procedures. It never seems to be enough. (Keep in mind I'm not morally demonizing the latter group, just expressing my aversion to such life choices~)

@Michal__ A lot of the OP's views are drenched in subtle sexism. This is true. The key here is "subtle." The majority of sexism is no longer men yelling "I HATE WOMEN." Be more nuanced You don't see it as a guy because you cannot fathom what it's like to live as a woman having to deal with male shit.

@Carl-Richard I love you lol

@Thestarguitarist14 I agree with Khr. Growth from relationships are priceless. 1) This is a laughably narrow worldview. I can tell you've never been in a life-transforming relationship (or if you were, you never recovered from the hurt). Open your mind to the possibility that a beautiful-but-painful relationship might be the best thing to ever happen to you. 2) This is what it looks like when you refuse the call to become a hero. A failed relationship is a cosmic invitation to grow. It's not the woman's fault that so many men decline this invitation. Bingo. To be fair though, a man does want to be on the same team as his woman. Ideally, you want a loving dynamic of "shit-giving." Constant blaming and withholding is just insufferable and erodes a relationship (though you're right, either case invites you to grow!) This is the most absurd shit I've ever heard so far. Maybe you chose all the wrong kinds of women. @Preety_India You make excellent points on this thread and on this forum. However, in this instance you are not entirely correct, and you are missing a deep truth that @Thestarguitarist14 is sharing. Almost any dignified woman will leave their partner if he becomes unattractive (aka losing his 'masculine edge'). This is what is meant by "ends up being a provider." Do not contend with me on this. I have multiple brutal experiences (fresh out of one, actually) of being in a relationship with an incredible girl only for her to dump my dumbass after an year or 2 when I begin to put her before myself (aka she becomes my life purpose, I do everything for her but at the same time I need her, I lose my 'masculine edge,' I become a provider). These painful experiences did NOT happen because I "chose all the wrong kinds of women." They happened because I did not love myself. I think this is what the original post is addressing

Ask yourself

@Tim R ohhhhhhh boy haha You're watching a criminal with his back against a wall sweating bullets!

Nice. Very predictable Do read the guidelines though. You can choose to ignore me, but not the guidelines.

Bruh lmao Government: "Middle English: from Old French governement, from governer." Yes, it's literally just French. "Ment" is just a typical adverb ending. You pulled this "mind" stuff straight out of your ass. Politic: "late Middle English: from Old French politique ‘political’, via Latin from Greek politikos, from politēs ‘citizen’, from polis ‘city’." All it takes is a google search Parasites? Really? I honestly can't tell if you're serious. If you're serious, well, wow. If you're just joking/trying to be fancy with metaphors, notice that you've still said nothing. Yes, you are being ideological. You are holding a biased and partial view of the world and not acknowledging how it is a construction of your own mind. When called out on it, you accuse others of close-mindedness (which, even if it's true, does not excuse your own close-mindedness). "I am sharing views" is meaningless. Any spoken or written word is "sharing views." The reason people are pushing back is because you're just wrong lol. Re-read the forum guidelines: "NOTE: This is NOT an anything-goes free speech zone! You do NOT get to say toxic & fallacious things here with impunity." Nobody is "triggered." The insistence that "You're so close-minded, you won't see the objective truth that I have" is a convenient shield to avoid admitting and working on your own close-mindedness

@Forestluv Shall we be optimistic or not?

Never, ever, ever.

Lmao, "do you feel threatened" More like somberly impressed at how attached people can be to their own beliefs

1) Yeah, you don't want to study law. It's pretty obvious from over here~ 2) Gosh, my whole life right now is learning to shut the hell up and have Trust/Faith in myself and the grand order of things. I'm not even sure where to begin. This is stuff that you can't really talk about (though we all try to do so on this forum, lol) If you have specific questions, shoot.

"Sad" music is so powerful IMO because it reminds us that suffering is the human condition, something so much larger than just "my experience." I'm especially blown away when they don't have lyrics (or in this case, the lyrics are ancient scripture and we can't make sense of them in the moment) Sometimes a piece just screams pain through pitch and rhythm alone, and, well, WOW. "Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world, have mercy upon us." Just read the YouTube comments under this video while listening. You might cry!

I identify with all of it word for word I am struggling with the same things you are. My responses do not come from experience but rather, from intuition. I have nonexistent authority so do not trust me lol. My responses here are more-so aimed at myself rather than at you. I am at a crossroads in my journey and I need to be my own mentor sometimes Still, maybe you might find something valuable here~ 1) Deep down you know what you want. It's just very, very, blurry and concealed behind what you call "practicality." For example, maybe you know that you want to touch people's hearts and help them to have a certain emotional experience (see? you know what you want, it's just very very blurry) but this is concealed behind "practical" judgements such as "why would anybody listen to me?" "how do I even begin? I have no connections and I'm broke" etc. etc. So even though you haven't found your Life Purpose in all of its glory yet, you're not as lost as you think you are. 2) How can you trust anything? Nothing should be taken at its face-value. At the same time though, how can you trust your mistrust? What if your mistrust is a self-sabotage? Are you gonna mistrust your mistrust? But then you're just in a loop of mistrusting, which is actually trusting in mistrust. So maybe trust is inescapable There is deep value in trusting your instincts. 3) Leo's LP course is good. I'm currently working through it myself. Generally speaking though, your desire to find an external source of authority is a sneaky way to feel safe in a cocoon of theory. This will never replace the results of real action. Once you take Leo's LP course, your VISION and DESIRE will have greater and greater clarity (instead of being a blurry mess!) With this clear vision in mind, TAKE ACTION. There is always something that you could be doing in the pursuit of your vision which you are currently neglecting.

Wow! I needed to hear this

Excellent video. Roughly hits on points in line with Leo's critiques (assumption/convention vs truth)!

I think the 21 convention is total horseshit, but that talk was very useful for me lol

This is wise Thanks for your imput~

@Mu_ Everything you say resonates with me personally, but I'm not sure that any of it is practical for someone who is actively in a rut and considers themselves a failure. It's hard to take in these questions of "do you see/realize?" when you're feeling so low. The whole point of feeling down is that you DON'T see or realize how your rut is self-made. To you, your circumstances are real. If you could simply "snap out of it" or just "let go," global depression would be cured overnight lol In my (admittedly limited) experience, you have to take action and claw your way out of the rut, and only then do you realize in hindsight, "Oh wow, that was all a projection of my mind!"

Anything by Miyazaki

What a legendary title for a personal journal lmao~ Capitalizing LEO is also my favorite thing to do in this forum.

In a different thread, user @Michael569 wrote the following (incredible) advice: Start going for the quick wins: 1. Treat your body well: optimize your nutrition. Stop eating crap, sugar, fatty meals and junk. Avoid fizzy drinks, bacons, cookies and all that stuff. Base your diet on whole foods, vegetables, fruits, lean meats, whole grains and legumes. If you need any advice, consider buying a Mediterranean cookbook and a vegan cookbook and try a bunch of recipes. Take a D-vitamin (2000IU/day) magnesium (300mg magnesium citrate) and a B-complex (whatever you find) for 3 months. These may help you get some energy back. 2. Start each day with cold shower for 30 seconds, followed by making nourishing breakfast (e.g. oatmeal with bunch of nuts, seeds & berries_ and eating them while having your eyes exposed to daylight. Sit on the balcony or eat outside. Human retina when exposed to sunlight sends a signal through your whole brain to the pineal and other areas. This stimulates your mood, makes you more energized and happier. if there is some sunshine, take your shirt of and let the sun kiss your skin, maybe your vitamin D is low and that will fuck up your mood. 3. Sign up with a gym or just exercise outside. Buy a skipping rope and 1 kettlebell, learn bunch of easy moves and do them 4 times a week. This will stimulate your mood as well. Exercise creates bunch of chemical reactions that lead to progressive mood enhancement. If you can't muster the energy to exercise, walk every day for 60 minutes and time it. While you do that listen to some online comedy or an uplifting book. Something fun & positive. 4. Do not stay up late. Force yourself to go to bed at 9pm the latest even if it means lying there for another hour. Your body will adjust. Normal sleeping routine is necessary for mood enhancement. 5 Read & study. Find something you like. Take the LP course if you have to and find your calling. Start taking small steps every day to become the person you were meant to be. Following your life purpose ignites an invisible spark inside of you. I know this because I have seen it in my life. It has given me confidence in every area of my life (my looks are average as well). I'll add my 2 cents as well, since I am currently going through a self-discovery process myself: 1. Save your damn money and only spend on things that move you forward. For example, healthy foods, gym equipment, Leo's LP course. Do not spend on video games, trashy restaurant meals, alcohol, or even books. 80% of the time you can find a free-pdf version of a book on google. Just search the name of the book along with "pdf." 2. You need to know what deeply moves you and gets you excited to penetrate life. Again, save up for Leo's LP course. As a man, almost nothing else will fulfil you until you nail this down. 3. Literally uninstall your games right now, on the spot. I'm not kidding. I know you still have 1 last piece of gear to grind out before your armor set is complete, but that shit DOESN'T MATTER. One of 2 things will happen: You'll complete your armor set, feel hollow, and look for the next in-game achievement OR You'll leave this part of your life behind and grab life by the fucking balls. If you need help with more specifics such as "I don't know what kind of food is healthy" or "I don't know which books to read," keep asking questions