RendHeaven

@The0Self I feel that so hard

Me too Life Purpose (in the way we talk about it on this forum) is overwhelmingly masculine, I feel. Perfect for me! I foam at the mouth thinking about Life Purpose the way we've been taught by Leo (Mastery, 1000% commitment, World-Class, etc.) For others though, I imagine Life Purpose can look far more modest and carefree. If your heart tells you that expressiveness and exploration are more fulfilling than narrow specialization and absolute command of your craft, listen to that!

I'd like to add that there is a component of mindset as well. If you have sex with the mindset that "oh no what if I cum too fast I have to prevent that!" you're gonna cum in 3 seconds flat lol. If you have sex with the mindset that "I will cum on my own terms and she will feel my fire" you're gonna last forever. I used to sprint competitively in high school and that really taught me a lot about mindset: If, before the race even started, I had the mindset that "I know my competitors are fast, I'm gonna try not to lose," I would always lose lol. If, before the race even started, I had the mindset that "I will give this everything damned the costs. I will win," I would actually shock myself and pull out some wins! The performance of your body is HIGHLY dependent on your frame of mind. P.S. as you and others have mentioned, Kegels + Body Awareness are critical.

@somegirl Hey I'm trying to start an online brand using my name as well. It's comforting to know that someone the same age as me (I looked at your birthday on your profile lol) has similar goals~ Looking forward to your art

I strongly disagree. - Don't take advice from women about sexually attracting women. They are totally unhelpful in this domain and it's far better to listen to men. - Do take advice from women about the actual relationship aspects (post-attraction). Listening to only men in this domain is like shooting yourself in the foot. The whole point of a relationship is that you listen to the perspective of your partner (in this case, the female perspective).

Leonard Bernstein is a mind-boggling, legendary musician, scholar, and educator. He oozes mastery to the point that I want to cry just listening to him...

I constantly think of sex with my ex in moments of weakness too. At the end of the day though, that is always my lower self rearing its ugly head. My higher self still loves sex but does not prioritize it or yearn for it desperately with a girl from the past. My higher self is in love with life purpose first and foremost

It'll all be over one day anyway, no matter how hard you cling. She is not yours. That is the simple Truth. I am 99.9% confident that you two will break up sooner or later, and although it will suck, you will come out the other end stronger and wiser, and looking back you will feel like a total moron for letting her have so much power over you. You realize that her being "yours" is a story that you invent, and then you spend every single day defending and reinforcing that story? And when that story is threatened, you feel helpless despite being the architect of this entire situation! You're a total fool for caring so much. Life is infinite and this is what preoccupies your time? Focus on greater things.

All of your top values should be higher consciousness/noble (if you care about living an exceptional life) e.g. Freedom, Purpose, Wisdom, etc. <These are some of my top 10 higher consciousness values. Sex is also a really high value of mine, but I've made the choice to put it at number 11, underneath the more meaningful values. Why? Simply, I'd rather lead a life of wisdom (for example) rather than a life of sex. Just because I prioritize wisdom, doesn't mean sex suddenly vanishes - the key difference is: which value is YOUR ENTIRE LIFE ANCHORED TO? In your case, I would strongly advise not to put video games in your top 10 values. You can still love and cherish video games - just like I love and cherish sex - but you have to have some foresight and be dignified when you design YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. Think about your tombstone in ~70 years... "Here lies Sunnyboytoni. His life was about video games. RIP." Hey who knows - maybe that sounds good to you right now because you really like video games. But hopefully you see how this scenario is not the greatest of possibilities. How about this? "Here lies Sunnyboytoni. His life was about adventure and connecting with others through video games. RIP." Notice in this new scenario, video games are still included in your life, but they are no longer the centerpiece. In this new scenario, your life is about adventure and connection, and video games are merely a vessel through which your higher and more authentic values shine through. Don't just take my word for it: really ponder this, hard. Good luck!

@Leo Gura AW shucks I was really rooting for you there. She'll come to you one of these days.

This is untrue at the deepest layers. You cannot be Truly Selfless without Self-Love, and you cannot have True Self-Love without being Selfless. They are identical. The selflessness you speak of is partial I understand. Good luck!

These same "selfless people" you see "getting shit on" due to their lack of boundaries end up complaining for days and weeks and months and years about how they keep getting shit on. Why? Because they're fucking selfish. They're not actually selfless. It's so obvious. Listen, maybe selfless people without boundaries do exist (in the form of sages and saints). But these people never complain because they have real self-love. Unless you're literally a saint with 50 years of cosmic contemplation under your belt, your best bet toward selflessness is to set firm personal boundaries.

"Emotional/Caring" people are NOT necessarily "Very selfless" "Emotional/Caring" people can be just as selfish as narcissists. You're not doing real inner work if you consider yourself "very selfless" just because you happen to be "emotional/caring." Why? "Emotional/Caring" people tend to use emotional vulnerability as a way to bargain with someone else: "I'll be emotional for you, now you must show me approval and love." Caring can also be egoic attachment (in fact, 9/10 times it is egoic attachment. If you insist it's not egoic attachment, you're kidding yourself). Consider that narcissists and "emotional/caring" people get together because they're BOTH SELFISH. A truly selfless person would have enough self-love that their emotional vulnerability is no longer a bargaining tool; their caring, no longer mere attachment. A truly selfless person would have enough self-love that they have high standards and crystal-clear personal boundaries. A truly selfless person would have nothing to do with a narcissist out of respect for themselves and the narcissist.

Same story bro What's your life purpose? Focusing on LP (aka self-love) seems like the only way out...

Why hello there dream girl ??

You just answered your own question lol. The chances of meeting a sexy and ELITE woman on the street is already like winning the lottery... the chances of meeting a sexy and ELITE woman on a dating app is nonexistent.

Ya'll making fun of Leo but meanwhile you make no effort to proactively find your dream girl I don't know about you, but if I was a woman I'd hit him up (not joking). I mean, did you see his freaking picture? He was drinking his SUPER HEALTHY BLUEBERRY SMOOTHIE RECIPE!!!

That's cap lmao

I don't know about you, but there's no way I'm letting anyone who hurt me live in my head rent-free

I like how you focused on my cheeky jab instead of self-reflecting. This is how you perpetuate your own suffering. Just look in your response how personally attached you are to the idea of her as YOURS (you even bolded "FOR ME," lol), it's totally absurd. I'm going to be extra harsh on you here to try and wake you up especially since you said not to be harsh I've been in a similar position as you in the past, and looking back, I wish someone would've slapped me in the face. Try not to take any of this personally. Try not to refute me or defend yourself. Any DEFENDING you do is simply more ATTACHMENT, do you see this? You have no idea what it's like to fuck her brains out as she creams all over your dick, utterly vulnerable and submissive. You have no idea what it's like for her to have a panic attack in your arms, her tears soaking your shirt as she melts into a degenerate mess. You have no idea what it's like to make daily, small loving gestures to each other as a reminder of how grateful you are of each other. You have no idea what it's like for her to withdraw from you (or cry to you) because you hurt her. Or, maybe she's just incapable of being vulnerable... you wouldn't know. I'm sorry, but all of these stories you spin about her being perfect is a total self-lie. You never really knew her or loved her. You only know and love your personal, constructed, and imaginary version of her. You "know" and "love" "her" as she appears through the lens of your worldview, your wants, and your needs. You don't know her or love her as she imagines herself to be, or as she appears to herself, nor do you know her or love her for who she actually is. What's HER perfect man? From her point of view? What does she desire and aspire to? What is she like in the absence of men? Have you ever thought of this? "I'm not good enough for her" is NOT actually thinking of things from her point of view. "I'm not good enough for her" is your own personal fantasy. You're injecting yourself into her story. You've been loving your own self-injected story of her this whole time. Maybe for her, you're just not in the picture entirely. Can you imagine that, fully understand and empathize with it, embrace and accept it, be grateful of it, and deeply LOVE it? This "perfect FOR ME" (in your own words) girl is 1% truth and 99% lie. You made up "perfect" and then you tried to cram her into it. This is very unloving of you. ME ME ME ME ME. That's all you've said in this thread. Isn't that true? Scroll up and see. Every time you talk about her, it's really about you. Is this surprising? Does it suck to have that pointed out? Don't fight it. Putting up a fight is more attachment, more ego, more self-deceiving. Just drop this insane story and move on with life! She's simply not perfect. She's not. "But you don't understand, you don't know her like I do!" She's. Not. Perfect. There are millions of girls out there that are better than her. "You don't get it, she's perfect FOR ME" Nope, you're doing it again. ME ME ME. This is not love. This is TOXIC. In fact, the more perfect you insist she is, the less perfect she actually is. You're totally blind until this clicks for you. It's laughable that you have this idea of her as the best possible girl "for you" without even having dated her. I would be much less harsh if you actually had a long relationship with her and you were feeling this way, but that's just not the case. When I was a teenager, someone grilled my ego on this forum, and I grew a lot from it even though it sucked at first. I hope you choose to grow. Sincerely, wishing you the best man

Check out my journal. Our situations are different, but maybe there's value there My now-ex was a 10/10 and straight up dumped my dumbass. I guarantee she was superior to your crush by every measure (joking, but not really ) Except, I actually committed myself to her and got punished for it. Soooo... from my perspective, you are just really silly for being so attached to someone you haven't even had deep intimacy with (but then again all attachment is silly and I'm silly too!) Hopefully at a minimum you can see how unoriginal it is to think, "nobody is possibly better than her!" and find some peace in that In fact, I myself am finding peace in this very thread. You got this, brother.

Fucking a lot of girls (aka "experience") does not equate to competence. Part of sexual competence is bringing emotions out of your partner - something he's clearly not succeeding in. At the same time, maybe you're not really trying either... it goes both ways I think all I'm trying to reveal here is that yes - even though this is a personal, internal issue - your partner nonetheless plays an enormous role since sex is a shared experience. If your partner is not making you feel incredible, that's his deficiency. Don't beat yourself up for that!

Let me guess - you got with some really incompetent (awkward, selfish, hurtful, boring, etc.) people

Incredible, I'm out of a relationship too except she broke up with me. It's crazy to me that every post here is about self-growth. You seem totally unphased by your "loss." There's a lot for me to learn from your energy