RendHeaven

I think we both know that you're delusional (but also not!?) I'm still 21 but I've been in a committed relationship with my dream girl already - and the fact of the matter is, once she left me I was back to ground 0 with the same sense of emptiness inside as before and even during the relationship. Girls cannot fulfil you. Period. That being said, I also understand that lack of experience can suffocate your mental health. There is definitely something freeing about experiencing what you've been "missing out on." I think the healthiest way to forge forward into the future is to take risks and put yourself out there with the goal of having new experiences (with women), but ultimately keep in the back of your mind that none of this leads to true fulfilment. Strength from within.

@SamC That's so funny that you of all people would say this because I've been silently lurking in your threads and strongly relating to the questions that you've been asking this forum, lol. Been thinking of reaching out, but had a million excuses not to. Guess it's time to stfu and say hi lol

Everyone. I'm actually still a college student. I'm asking this because I'm trying to extinguish social anxiety once and for all. Currently I have a self-made rule of: "say hi to literally everybody I see in public." This is made possible by the small student body size of my campus + the fact that not many people are out and about anyways due to 'rona. Still, it's incredible how hard this baseline "rule" is to maintain. I have about a 75% success rate with just saying hi (that is to say, 1/4 of the time I freeze up and say nothing). Sometimes, people shuffle by me looking busy and I can't muster the strength to project my voice at them because I'm afraid of "bothering" them. Anyhoo, the small talk only happens if I get a receptive greeting back. Some people bluntly say hi or grunt, to which I just smile (under my mask lol) and move on. If I feel that their energy is higher or more open, I'll follow up by asking their name, what they're up to, or making a stupid comment about my day, etc. I generally consider myself super charismatic once I've gathered momentum. The hardest part for me is step #1 of putting my foot through the door. The second hardest part after that is logistically following up (which is what I'm asking about here). Sometimes I'll exchange amazing energy with someone, get their name, crack some jokes, and end with a positive "cya around" only for no meaningful connection to have happened at the end of the day. It's like I know 1% of everybody, but I'd rather like to get to know 90%+ of a handful of people instead. Do I just stay patient and wait for it to happen organically, or is there some leadership aspect that I'm missing? I am also afraid of hyper-focusing on one person and really pursuing them with intentions to get to know them. That again feels like I'm being a "bother." All my life I've had people come to me and I think I'm trying to uphold that vibe but it's simply inconsistent. Is it up to me to pursue even further? Any way to frame this such that I'm not a "bother?"

I agree with Origins. Depends entirely on the Quality of woman. If she's 100/10 with intimacy, a whole army of women wouldn't even compare

They'd pass you in a heartbeat. This can work IRL if you do it with confidence + a smile, but dating apps are a totally different atmosphere.

Found it and lost it. Back to square 1

approaching will forever by my #1 enemy. I still haven't figured out how to make friends with it after the initial approach though, everything is always fine. I'm not too worried about what happens next (in retrospect). I'm not just talking about romantic seduction btw, but just any socialization in general.

I am good looking and charismatic but I still don't get any ladies falling into my lap. Just shut the fuck up and approach. Just shut the fuck up and approach. Just shut the fuck up and approach. That's what I have to tell myself every day. The alternative is loneliness.

@Emerald I don't agree with or endorse the video creator's message. However, the reason I shared it is because it nonetheless represents a fairly common sentiment among men. If it's in your interest to understand male struggles, listen to struggling men.

Break up.

This perspective is worth taking seriously. Be wary though. The guy who made this short, Alexander Grace, is a toxic ideologue with suppressed resentment towards women. Generally, I would advice everyone to stay away from his content, but this one video I've linked actually does explain the perspective of some men pretty well.

"2 wrongs don't make a right!"

finally

@longusername12345

I am curious to see if anyone has payed for his current business content as well

@Emerald I love you lol. You effortlessly dismantled me once like 3 years ago when I started a judgmental thread. It seriously helped me grow Glad to see you're still slaying~

At least you look absolutely stunning in the meantime

"Good guy" gets dumped for the hot dude as well, so it goes both ways. Maybe you addressed this. I agree that ultimately you want to be both. But there's a reason that most men are more obssessed with becoming the wild sexy chad. It's because most of us are simple, shy, and caring at heart and we grow up facing sexual rejection. So we have to work on being aggressive and sexy. To achieve that balance you're talking about. None of us are too wild and bad and need to learn to be a "good guy" lol. Sure people like this exist but they're probably doing crack at a party, not contemplating on the actualized.org forum.

Lol I didn't realize this thread started right after the previous "dumpster fire"

@soos_mite_ah Pickup can also teach shy, harmless men to attract a lovely girlfriend. Ideally, the process is so seamless that you the woman wouldn't even know that pickup is happening. Ideal pickup looks like an interesting conversation. Nothing more. Catcalling, physical grabbing, and pressuring is not actually a part of any (good) pickup repertoire. It seems to me like you're conflating degenerate men and horrible, butchered pickup with all pickup. Everything that you said is real and valid. It's just not the full picture

@Leo Gura Any way to increase success rate, in your opinion?

Woah..

@Forestluv Holy crap I love you

BRO ME TOO I got stuck at the end of the values segment and have been stalling for about a week. Let's change that today...

Hey, thanks! I didn't realize you watched and read the content I posted