Armando Gutierrez

So basically, my dad said he would take out loans for my bachelor's degree ONLY IF promised to pay them off. I feel like I'm probably going to pay them off for him like I promised... But I wanted to get your guys' opinion. Part of me says "I promised him that I would pay it, so that's what I'm going to do.... even if they are not legally in my name" Another part of me says "What kind of parent indoctrinates their child that you have to get a college degree or else you're a loser...and then when it comes time to go to college, neglect to provide any financial advice or guidance" The loans under his name amount to $57k with around 7% interest...On top of that, I have about $20k in my name I know I'm just bitter and obviously slightly regret my decision. But ya. Btw, I only slightly regret my decision because I found my wife in college, and in many ways I feel like she saved my life. What do you think?

@Armando Gutierrez The indoctrination about college started when I was probably around 7 or so. You make it sound like it's easy to 'refuse' indoctrination from your parents. I was taught that's just how the world is, and though "why would my parents lie to me?"... And my dad did not "lose" $57k... it's a loan... which he signed. I am in no way legally responsible for the loan. Student loans are on pause for now until COVID.

@integral Sorry for the confusion, I graduated in 2020 from a public school

I graduated with a B.S in Computer Science in December. It's been hard to find a job, especially since I don't have a passion for what I am doing. I guess I just need some advice. I have a passion for jazz saxophone and my life's work/purpose is teaching it to people online. I am working minimum wage right now, and my loan payments are on pause due to Covid until September. My question: Should I work to get a software job and then make money with the sax on the side? Or should I just get right into monetizing my music skills? I want to jump in with my passion, but my $77,000 of debt scares me. I feel like I need to get a better paying software job to pay it off, but that requires extra skills that I don't really want to work on. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

@TheSunKing That's actually a pretty good idea. I'll consider that genuinely. Thank you. @Tetcher That's true, the 77k was probably a mistake lol. And you're right. I did do CS because I was scared that music wasn't going to make money. I don't know if I can balance both lives because working in software/technology for 40 hours a week until I'm old sounds like a wasted life for me. But working in CS for now sounds like a good idea. Thank you. I appreciate the time you took to read my post and respond. @Roy You make a lot of good points! Idk why I feel like it has to be one or the other. As long as I don't get stuck / comfortable working at the software job, then I can definitely use that money to pay off the debt and save for the business. I do see what you're saying about letting the money get in the way of the passion, but as long as I can keep playing and performing somehow, I'll be happy. Thanks so much for the input. That was great advice.

It's really a question of motivation. Some people chase success for social status. Or because they think it will make them happy(I'm sure it does to a point). Or because of greed. Or so they can help others. Wanting and pursuing success is a stage in Spiral Dynamics too. So according to that model, it's normal and expected.

I too overthink all this material because it's super cool. I finished the course about a year ago, and it helped me find out what I generally want out of life(namely my values), but nothing specific. As it turns out my life purpose was right in front me of. My "mental masturbation" kept me from seeing the obvious. But overall, totally worth the price.

@Mount Bananas Thank you for your advice, but especially the story! Wow. That's amazing. I'll definitely refer back to that over and over again. And yeah, enlightenment/consciousness is so popular among this crowd because that's what Leo has been doing. His vision is contagious. Also consciousness is what every human being is after deep down. So in that sense, it's really no coincidence. @Ayilton You're probably right. I'll sit down and think about it more objectively. I'm always coming up with excuses and overthinking stuff lol. @Elisabeth I guess I never thought of it through music lol. I've always thought that teaching people how to be themselves in general would be more meaningful to me. But that could work as well. I'll try it. Thank you all for your advice. I haven't played saxophone in high school because I am an engineering major and have to pay for school and bills. But you guys have inspired me to register for the jazz band at my school. I'm going to give it a go.

My Impact So my whole childhood I was afraid to speak my mind and express myself. I was in constant fear and guilt which helped me stay out of trouble with parents and teachers. After taking the Life Purpose course I realized that my impact statement is : "To teach people how to free themselves of mental limitations and expectations." In other words, show/teach people how to express their true, creative selves. My Passion I've always had a talent for music since I could walk. For example, I was able to dance with the rhythm of any song since I was about 4 or 5. I picked up the alto saxophone in 5th grade. In high school, I fell in love with jazz and found that to be my means of expressing myself. Without knowing it, I went down the path of mastery. I practiced harder than everyone because the better I got, the more I could express myself and enjoy the act of playing. I've always been that way lol. The Conflict Here lies the problem. I do not see how my jazz skills could lead me to the impact that I want to make on the world. My impact leads me to believe that I should pursue enlightenment and help other people see through their mental barriers and how their lack of awareness causes their suffering. That way, they are free to be authentic to who they really are. I became really good at saxophone in high school, and I was hired out (along with some of my fellow band players) to perform at events. I have years of experience performing in front of hundreds of people. But this is where I noticed the conflict! While performing, I felt that people didn't realize the message I was trying to convey: Self-expression is key to living a good life. Many times, I felt like background music or as just someone playing a catchy tune that they would soon forget about. In short, I don't think being a musician is direct enough in me teaching people how to express themselves. I could be missing something though. So do I teach personal freedom through music or through, let's say, some kind of consciousness work? Thanks in advance for the responses!! Just for some background if it would help you My top values are: 1) Self Expression/Personal Freedom (Almost synonymous to me) 2) Mastery 3) Wisdom 4) Connection/Love etc.. My strengths are: Perspective wisdom Learning Playfulness/Humor Unique Ability: The ability to deconstruct any idea I have (in verbal language, music, etc) and to communicate it to an audience in a way that they can relate to it. In other words, I'm able to express my ideas in simple terms.

Out of 50+ books now probably 1) Letting Go by David Hawkins 2) Big Leap by Gay Hendricks