Leo Gura

But freedoms are taken away. Relationship requires sacrifice and compromise. This requires serious maturity and desire to compromise and surrender things for the good of the other. A selflessness is required. You two will definitely depend on each other. There are just more or less unhealthy ways to go about it. But intimacy and communion can be beautiful things. I guess you have to help him see the beauty of it and he has to start to want it more than freedom. Keeping a distance from people is actually a defense mechanism many of us have developed because dealing with people can be such a bad experience. He's probably had some bad experiences of intimacy or getting too close in the past which needs to be contemplated and re-evaluated. I don't really know if a woman can guide a man into a desire for deep intimacy. Really, the man should be guiding the woman. This situation is sorta backwards. But since this is where you're at, do the best you can with him. Maybe you could use sex to guide him towards a deeper appreciation of intimacy. Try to have more intimate sex with him. Or just explicitly tell him you'd like to deepen the intimacy of your sex. Guys tend to think with their dicks so a good way to get guys to buy into the power of intimacy is through the sex. Most guys have no idea how much better and deeper the sex can be when deep intimacy is specifically aimed for.

Game cannot be learned mindlessly. Every interaction has be to scrutinized and analyzed for points of improvement. Hundreds of very subtle distinctions must be made. Yes, I work on very specific and technical parts of my game. Not just for one night, but for weeks and months. Yes, I have gotten feedback from some of the best coaches and wings in the world. As a newbie you just want to focus on approaching consistently and hooking sets. But as you reach the intermediate level and beyond, you should start to get technical about your game. I reached a point where I would split test very minor things. For example, if I open a girl at the club using a should tap, should I tap her shoulder 2 times or 3 times? And how much pressure should I apply to her shoulder? And then when she looks me in the eyes, how big should my smile be, and should I already be smiling before she locks eyes with me, or after she locks eyes? And so I would have to split test all that to see what works best. It can get that technical. But as a newbie you should not be thinking about such things. Just approach and have fun. Game starts to become really fun when you reach intermediate level and start getting technical about it. It becomes the mastery process, like perfecting your golf swing.

Hahahahaha.... Show me a scientist who is not a metaphysical imbecile.

Of course you're not doing hardcore cold approach in school. School is more like social circle where everyone knows each other. Basically the only game you need in school is socialize with cute girls and try to be funny and flirtatious. That's it. Basically try to befriend all the cute girls.

But even when there is great resonance between you, you will still give out your number and then not reply back. I got news for ya, any guy that you sleep with was attracted to your body before he learned anything about you. To consider you holistically requires approaching you and flirting with you, which requires the guy to be attracted to your body enough to do the approach. You are expecting guys to get hard for holistic knowledge of you, but that's not how guys work. So what you really are asking for is for a guy to be attracted to your body, but then hide it from you and pretend like he isn't, talk with you for a long time, and then pretend he fell in love with your personality.

He may not sleep around, but that doesn't mean he might not desire something more. A LOT of guys have fear of intimacy. In general, men value their freedom. Women tend to value bonding and intimacy, men tend to value freedom more. Of course! Giving up independence for a guy who is habitually independent is a huge fear and source of danger. Yeah, well, the guy's probably not in touch with his feminine side and with the whole idea of communion/relationship. That would require a relatively developed and mature man -- which can be rare.

@Vzdoh Keep in mind, some people are just cheap. It's not necessarily about you as the girl. I used to be extremely cheap. Still sorta am. Simply because I had to learn to be cheap in order to start my business and survive. I used to not even pay for a girl's coffee. I'm less cheap now, but still I won't just throw money away on a girl.

How is hiring a prostitute a few times going to change anything for you? You gonna keep paying every week? For how many years? And then what?

If you are in school or college then that's where your approaching should be. It's way easier than clubs. Since you are so young you don't need to be doing high volume approaching. Just make the most of what your school offers.

And why most guys who ask for your number will never get a reply The sword cuts both ways. Many men everywhere want that. That's not the issue. The issue is, which girl will you pick? A below average girl? You'd have to be stupid to marry an average girl or the first girl you sleep with. Marriage is hard enough even with the perfect match. It's really a question of how many options do you have? If you have no options you will marry the first girl you sleep with. The more options you have the less eager you will be to marry early.

Inviting for drinks or coffee only works if she finds the guy highly attractive. It's pointless to invite a girl who isn't into you. If you got the looks and your pics are good, you don't need any special message game. You can literally just message her, "Hi cutie" and she will eagerly reply back. On the other hand, if your looks are not up to par, you can message her with the most clever and custom-tailored stuff, and she will ignore you.

Yes, commitment is emotionally challenging because commitment only makes sense from the POV of an attractive guy with many options if the girl is exceptional. There is little desire to commit to an average girl. For commitment to make sense she has to be really amazing. But most girls are not that. Also, commitment means losing years not developing one's game. And the longer a guy wait to development one's game, the harder it becomes. Also the sex and even the relationship will start to get stale after some years unless special measures are taken. So there is a fear that commitment will lead to mediocrity. Having very high standards makes commitment very challenging. In a sense commitment requires surrendering or lowering one's standards. From the male POV, sex is a daily requirement but commitment requires something exceptional. Which is why guys tend to have sex but not commit. If a guy waited to only have sex with girls he was willing to commit to, he would be starving like a homeless dog waiting for years for the right girl to come along. And then he would fuck that up with neediness. So ironically girls are attracted to the guys who are least likely to commit. These are the guys who have so many options that commitment makes little sense. Because a guy who doesn't have all those options will be super needy and repel most girls. You girls are attracted to the most detached guys, and then you wonder why he won't commit. The guy who would commit to you, you have no interest in sleeping with. He doesn't make you wet or emotional. And your sleeping decisions are purely emotional, not logical. Hence you keep hooking up with guys who won't commit. The more arousing the guy the less likely he is to commit. That's how this game works. You have to find some sort of balancing point. You can't just chase the highest arousal. You have to make sacrifices. You can't get it all unless you are bringing massive value to the negotiating table. Sex is a value exchange. And everyone is trying to leech maximum value. Everyone is trying to get something for nothing. And then suffering ensues of course because leeching and theft are self-undermining. In a sense, when you are dating you are trying to steal sexual value. You aren't doing this consciously, but subconsciously that's exactly what all your arousal and emotions are doing. Your emotions precisely motivate behaviors which steal sexual value. This survival mechanic is so deep that you aren't even aware it's happening. To you it just feels like romance. When you get super attracted to a guy so much that you can't stop daydreaming about him, that's because you know he has more value than you, and that locking him down would be a really good deal for you. It's like walking into a car dealership and seeing your favorite car 50% off. You are giddy with joy at the bargain you just found and you want to pounce on it immediately before someone else does. But of course no quality car is ever 50% off unless there is something seriously wrong with it. Bottom line: If you want the best car in the dealership you should expect to work hard and pay a lot for it. If you don't want to pay a lot, then expect a mediocre car. Madness is expecting the best car for dirt cheap. Men's commitment phobia is their emotional way of maximizing sexual value.

It's not possible to get it without doing it. Only after a few thousand approaches does one start to understand what game is. And it's extremely counter-intuitive.

You cannot learn cold approach effectively in such a city. I would invest your energy into figuring out a way to move to a big city faster.

Be careful not to turn this thread into something vulgar, or it will be shut down. I want to avoid the toxic aspects I have seen on pickup forums.

No idea. Be extra careful. Do not give psychedelics to someone who didn't consciously choose to take it.

That's why you go out and spend 1000+ hrs learning how to be fun and chill. That's called learning game. You learn it by doing it, not by philosophy.

Good work!

If your highest doesn't include the lowest, then it's not the Highest

It's not that the universe is against you, it's that you are too lazy to do the work required to get women consistently. You will lose way more women than you sleep with. That's just how women work.

I have clubbed in totally packed clubs in Vegas post-Covid. No mask. Club packed so tight can hardly walk. Lots of makeouts with random girls. If you are vaccinated you should be fine. Of course there are risks so it's up to you what risk you wanna take.

Ironically, cold approach is amazing for building a social circle quickly. You can make dozens of new friends within a month of going out every weekend.

My teachings have never been exclusively about spirituality. And in the future I will release many practical basic materialistic self-help videos. Actualized.org is about holistic development, not just high level spirituality.

When a hot chick is grinding on your dick in the nightclub, no-mind dawns. Thoughts vanish like ashes scattered to the wind I think you could put that into Haiku form: Chick grinding on dick, Club music blaring, Thoughts nowhere to be found