Leo Gura

Often the hardest part of pickup is just motivating yourself to go out consistently and to approach consistently. On the one hand it's easy, on then other hand that can be very challenging, especially for a very introverted person with social anxiety and zero friends or support group. Many hard things in life are mechanically easy but emotionally very challenging.

I have said that I have reached high peaks of awakening. That says nothing about how I feel day to day. You guys need to be more careful jumping to conclusions. I have never claimed things such as: I never get bored, I never suffer, I never feel bad, I have perfected my behavior, I will never get addicted, etc. I have never claimed emotional mastery. All those things are very different from an Awakening experience. I suggest being careful with such assumptions about your spiritual teachers. I reserve the right to act human. In many ways I am simply a normal human. I struggle with things. I don't have all of life solved. And I suggest you don't place such expectations on yourself or others because it's not realistic. A human is a finite, limited thing. And I am not going to live the rest of my life acting perfectly just to satisfy some onlooker's fantastical superhuman spiritual image. Do you see how problematic that would get? If that was the standard I had to reach to make videos, then I wouldn't have ever made any videos. Remember what else I told you long ago: that I am not immune to self-deception. I feel like you guys often forget that. I do fool myself sometimes.

You have no idea what God is.

If you think this work will make you invincible, boy, you're in for a rude surprise. One of the things I'm doing now which I wish I'd done earlier is disabusing you guys of mythical and fantastical notions about Awakening. Actual Awakening is a lot less glamorous. Consider that you've been sold a lot of fairy tales.

Have you actually tested this? Or is this just your theory? In my experience I can still get addictions if I'm not careful and I do get bored. And I think this will be true for most people. We live in an era where digitial stimulation is so pervasive that it's really hard not to get addicted to it because you can't abstain from it entirely like you could in the past. Today, even a Zen master will have a smartphone. And it's really easy to get addicted to your phone.

They are very similar. Hard to say because I don't know you. It can be done safely without one. But if you don't trust yourself then use a trip stitter. I'd say the first few trips are not the real danger. The danger comes much later as you do many trips and start to get cocky and sloppy. A few trips is unlikely to mess that up. But again, there are no guarantees.

I still have fear around it. Not so much the death part but the suffering that comes before it and the loss of the stuff I've developed. In another sense I look forward to the freedom of not having to be human any more. After a certain point your human life runs its course and you want something new. Overcoming the fear of death is especially hard because it's one of those things that you will not know how you really feel until you're in the thick of it. It is easy to say you have transcended this suffering or that suffering, but suffering can get very large and you will feel differently once you're stuck in it. I have been suffering a lot lately and what that taught me is not to underestimate suffering. Frankly, I don't believe people who claim they have transcended suffering. It's easy to say that when you are in a good state, but your state can shift in ways which you cannot forsee, in very very bad ways. Frankly, it's hard for me to even imagine what it looks like to transcended all suffering. That's such a tall order. Really appreciate how serious suffering is. I notice spiritual people tend to downplay it and I think that misleads many students. You should not expect this work to lead to a trascendence of all suffering. That is not a realistic goal and you will probably end up disappointed. I suggest you guys be very careful about filling your mind with spiritual fantasies. There are too many myths and stories out there about some magic guru transcending everything, as if that will be you. I assure you that your life will be a lot less magical and a lot more of a pain in the ass, with periods of intense pain which you will not be able to manipulate your way out of.

Well, you just gotta teach yourself to move gently. Of course that's not a guarantee. But you can train yourself to trip gently. And then lock away any weapons or dangerous objects.

29 is not too late. But also, don't delay any longer.

You can create other new meanings, however psychedelics can undermine meaning across the board, so you should be careful. You might undermine stuff that you will regret. Obviously this is a very personal matter. But undermining of meaning can be a painful and dysfunctional thing if done too hastily. You don't want to lose your passion for life. If you strip away all of life's meaning you will end up depressed with nothing to live for. This becomes more of a risk if you do a lot of psychedelics. So keep an eye out for that and dial if back if you are starting to lose too much meaning.

It's hard to say because my desire for that waa already pretty low. Psychedelics have made me less motivated to do business and to work long hours. Psychedelics tend to undermine meaning, so things that you used to find meaningful are not as meaningful any more.

@shree No one can predict how you will react. Even from trip to trip your reactions could vary. Yes, there is a chance that 5-MeO will open things up in your mind and force you to confront difficult existential material, including depression. Any deep and serious trip can leave you depressed for a while because you are confronting life, death, love, etc.

Just a heads up. The SSL certificate for Actualized.org is set to expire at the end of today. I have been trying to renew it now for a week but there has been a technical difficulty with my hosting company which they have not yet resolved, despite efforts. So it's possible the certificate will expire tonight and the website will be harder to access or lose some functionality. I am working to fix this, hopefully by the end of today but it might take a few days longer. If the SSL expires your browser will give you a security warning screen before you can access the site. There's not really any security issue, it's just a standard warning that browsers give these days. We should have this fixed within a few days. Thanks for your patience.

@Francis777 I heard such theories before. You can find 20 wack doctors with 20 different magic theories, none of which are validated by science.

If you do 5-MeO carefully nothing will happen to you. 5-MeO passes within a few hours and you are back to normal. The only thing you gotta pay attention to is not physically injuring yourself while high.

It's great. Similar to 5-MeO-DMT.

Thanks but this was a one-time thing.

The issue has been fixed. Sorry for the inconvenience.

That spiritual blood Koan for you: If a mosquito sucks the blood of a Buddha does it get woke?

What if humans came from rats?

Hard for me to say as I never had one.

I understand your concern. Let me share this story with you to cheer you up: My grandparents got married when they were around 16. They lived together into their 80s. When my grandmother died my grandfather said, I just want to die and be with her. A few years later he did. They were buried next to each other.

You'd have to be insane to make up a story like that. It sounds legit to me. Thanks for sharing your perspective.

An Egyptian Pharaoh would be something.

Maybe I would. He might be good to shake things up.