Leo Gura

The best character to play is yourself

Tell them you already found you a nice girl on OnlyFans.

Superstitions like breaking a mirror, seeing a black cat, knocking over the salt shaker, knock on wood, etc.

When cops tresspass you, little do they know that time dilates and the tresspass doesn't apply into the past. Loophole found!

Genocide is a hell of a drug.

Drunk lady rams car into kids birthday party, killing 2. https://youtu.be/z0g8uyjoJXE?si=CtezJ3TfmPn7NB3Z

Man stuck in a time loop caught in Area 51: https://youtu.be/HgWjtNfyMeY?si=CwgcW2BRi4LgMi-v You must read the comment section for this one.

@ZenSwift You can use visualization to practice surrendering. This will help when the real time comes. But beyond that, just do it.

@NewKidOnTheBlock Don't strawman feminists. That is not their position.

Poor dog beaten with mallet by psycho girlfriend! https://youtu.be/l6BDKLVVeig?si=7Hr1ItfDlcg8Em9N

Clueless drunk girl runs over two people. https://youtu.be/4fQ1tZdZKTk?si=cX-reSPEmiRVdvLk

Expecting dark mode option everywhere.

Don't be sleeping with those Jesus devils

That Mormon prophet had a bucket with a toilet seat strapped onto it for his wives. The python is a tricky beast to tame.

A conservative wipes once a week.

Cops park their car on train tracks with suspect locked inside. Chooo-chooo https://youtu.be/SKPAVT09PBs?si=0-6a-8xqQCKRf6Qx

@integral I assumed you didn't wipe at all, lest you get chemicals in your hole.

One swordfish a day keeps the doctor away.

Stop with personal attacks. Let it go.

Wiping is so conformist, bro!

When I'm at the urinal I like to stand right behind the guy so he can feel my breath on the back of his neck. High IQ move.

"Bless you" for sneezing. So silly.

That's a good one.

@ZenSwift "I ain't do nuffin!" -- while commiting a crime "I'm not resisting!" -- while resisting "But I gotta pick up my kids!" "But I got kids!" "Don't touch me!" "But my house is just around the corner." "I don't got no ID." "I can't breathe!" -- while screaming "Just 1 or 2 drinks." -- while shitfaced "I don't remember my social security number." "My car smells like weed??" -- while smoking weed "I'm not driving, I'm traveling!" "I'm a FEMALE!" "I ain't even lying..." -- while lying "I'm black. Y'all make me scared. I don't trust y'all." "Okay! I'm leaving!" -- while getting handcuffed for transpassing. "I'm recording y'all!" "I'm suing yo ass! What's your badge number?!" "Call yo sergeant! Call yo supervisor!" "My phone!!!!!"

Hospital was not going to save him. They should have gave him water and made him try to throw up the drugs. That was his only hope. Once the coke is dissolved in your system, you are screwed. If that guy was swallowing bags of coke, he should have swallowed the whole bags, not torn them open. Tearing them open still leaves evidence and also kills you.