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Nah. Most of those cars a tacky and ugly. It's not their price, they are completely unusable as cars. You can only drive them for showing off. It's not a real car. Why would I want a fake, impractical, loud, uncomfortable, gas-wasting car? A Volvo SUV looks more beautiful than a Ferrari.
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A chimpazee is certainly better at certain things. I do not hold myself as superior to a chimpanzee. But I am more conscious. Consider why that might be. Maybe one needs such an ambition to grow brighter. Ambition isn't just ego, it's functional for reaching high places.
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Oh come on Emerald... Yes, Leo is more conscious than the average folk. If you can't see this, that is sad. That is not to say all he says is perfect. But after listening to thousands of people, how they talk and how they formulate their ideas, how they do thier research, I can say without a doubt, Leo is among the best. Humbleness can also be toxic if taken to extremes. I am more conscious than average folk and that is okay. I don't care, that is the truth, i run circles around them. That is because certain circumstances determined me to become like this. There is no free will
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Exactly why the idea of open contact happening anytime soon is the most asinine mindset going haha
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Natasha Tori Maru replied to BlessedLion's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@BlessedLion I do think it is a classical underdetermination issue as the observed evidence for manifestation is compatible with multiple competing explanations. The observations don't tell you which explanation is actually responsible. -
It was Facebook posts with words by difference in use by gender or something
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It Takes a Village to Raise A Rapist I have been following the case with the Cornell 57 (I know a lot of people call them the Cornell 7 because 7 of the men were part of the gang rape but the group chat had like 57 people). It's a horrifying case and as a woman, I do feel impacted emotionally by the sentiments that are being shared. I have been feeling a sense of depression and hypervigilence wash over me this past week. I can't say that it's debilitating or that I'm surprised. Men are capable of committing some heinous acts. I also think that my educational background in Human Rights makes me better equipped to handle such things emotionally because I basically spent 4 years studying the worst aspects of humanity. That's where I'm at emotionally. Intellectually, as a way to make sense of something like this, I catch myself wondering how something like this could occur in the first place and how someone could think that this kind of behavior is acceptable. I also catch myself trying to make sense of other people's reactionary views around this as well and the general sense of emotional literacy some people have. Because I'm at a stage of life where I'm really thinking about the prospect of being a parent, I find myself thinking what I would do if I had a child who was gang raped like this or what I would do if my child turned out to be a rapist (and how to prevent something like this). I think what happened to Jane Doe was horrific. I remember reading an account where she was doing the ketamine hoping it would knock her out so that there would be more of a basis and a case that this was indeed rape that can be held in court as opposed to coersion that might not yield to imprisonment. It wasn't just a drug fueled orgy. I read accounts of her trying to get away and pushing people away as they made their advances towards her but not being able to fight them off because she was so heavily drugged. I read accounts of her initially consenting to a threesome but also, it's questionable if she wanted it or if she was talked into it after she was drugged up. But even if she wanted a threesome, that doesn't give consent to having 7 other people involved. And then there is all the ways that the school adminsitration and the justice system failed her. The whole thing about the university having the rapists write a fucking essay about what happened is infuriating and makes light of the situation. The way that the rapists still got their degrees from a prestigious institution while the victim couldn't even finish college because of the trauma is tragic. The way that people are trying to dox the victim or downplay what she went through is horrifying. The ways that people are slut shaming her, saying that she's lying, or victim blaming her is abhorrent and appalling. The only thing that seems a bit promising is that at least from what I gathered, her parents are supportive of her and are trying to get justice for her. I know damn well that if I was in this situation, I wouldn't be able to go to my parents for something like this. And that feels scary and depressing on a personal level. As for the boys involved, the leaked messages were absolutely disgusting. The way they referred to her as "free pussy" and the way that one of the guys was like "you can just whip your dick out" or "shop still open" was dehumanizing and nauseating. And all of these boys came from relatively well off families and look like normal people you encounter. This is why I hate the narrative that a rapist is some weirdo in a back alleyway. Most of the time, it's a relatively normal looking person you know or have considered a friend. And sexual assault isn't always something like gang raped or being raped at knife point. Most of the time, it's that guy who is being really clingy and is guilt tripping your for not putting out. It's the guy that gets a little to handsy and because he's like twice your size, you think it's easier to go along with it. It's a guy who cannot take no for an answer and instead sees it as a negotiation point. It's the guy who gets you drunk enough to where you let your guard down and you agree to things you otherwise wouldn't have agreed to. It's the girl who you cannot fight off because she's significantly smaller so any amount of self defense is going to make you look like the agressor. It's the girl who was your baby sitter or your teacher who groomed you and then when they made sexual advances towards you, people congradulated you for losing your virginity at 12 to an older chick. It's the girl who ignores your no's or takes you lack of advances personally because of the notion that all men want it all the time. It's the girl who flashes herself at a concert and throws her underwear at a performer while saying vulgar things. Like another thing that pisses me off is how people assume that women cannot be abusers or rapists or that they cannot be a part of the problem as well. Men can also get sexually assaulted and women are also capable of doing fucked up things. The Ghislaine Maxwells of the world exist and there were women in part of the university administration who were also part of the problem. The Cornell 57 case is one of the more egregious versions of this. The more subtle stuff that I listed above happens all the time. And because it' s more subtle, a lot of people don't realize how wrong it was or what kind of trauma it caused until much later. I think this adds to how people don't realize how common sexual assault is. It also yields them to make excuses for victims because they don't want to come to terms with how widespread of an issue this is. Because acknowledging that a lot of drunk sexual encounters, a lot of ambiguous circumstances, a lot of pressure falls under the umbrella of assault is hard to admit as the perpetrator because you don't want to think of yourself as the creep in the back alley way and it's hard to admit as the victim because that means sitting with the gravity of the situation and any difficult emotions that may come up. A lot of people still end up dating their rapist and convince themselves that what happened was okay because they cannot cope with the trauma or the rapist emotionally manipulated them to downplay what actually happened. Even in the Cornell 57 case, one of the guys contacted Jane Doe and asked if "they were still good?" That wasn't them trying to make amends with her, that was them trying to avoid responsibility and morally justify their heinous acts to themselves. Then there is the typical ways that victims of sexual assault tend to act ranging from having a spotty memory, having their brain block certain things out, and again, being in denial of the severity of the case and as a result, not coming out with charges until much later. And I think a lot of sexual assault issues needs to be addressed at the level of prevention as opposed to handling them in court (that also needs to be addressed, but more on that later). Yes, consent education is good in the university level, especially when it comes to the normalization of more subtle / ambiguous circumstances. However, the most heinous people who are capable of doing shit like getting someone hooked on ketamine so that they can gang rape them are not going to attend such discussions. They will think that shit is stupid and go about their day. The Cornell 7 and the 57 men in the group chat didn't get to where they were due to some innocent misinformation. They were likely enabled all their lives to where, by the time they go to university age, it's too late to employ an intervention to change their behaviors and world views. It's start as early as telling little girls on the playground that if a boy is being agressive towards you, that means they like you. It starts as early as letting your boys be rowdy and agressive instead of correcting that behavior at the root. It starts as early as coddling your son and saying your little boy is "just a little misunderstood" wheras you would never use that term with a little girl who was acting out. It starts with little boys growing into their middle school age without any proper role models so they default to Andrew Tate or whatever the fuck is going on in the media and how society portrays masculinity. It starts with telling children of both genders that they should ignore their personal boundaries and hug / kiss any older relative even if they aren't comfortable with that. It starts with telling children to blindly follow authority which then ends up priming them to accept abuse later on in life. It starts with not educating your kids of both genders the difference of appropriate and inappropriate touch. It starts with your kid getting sexually assaulted or groomed by some adult in the family or community and you not handling that shit properly whether that is you accuse your kid of lying, you continuously bring their abuser around them, you reprimend them for acting out their trauma, you not getting them a mental health professional, or you say it's some how their fault because they must have made a move towards the perpetrator. Ultimately, all of the things above that could have been addressed to create prevention measures against raising rapists or victims boil down to neglect; whether that be regarding how you don't discipline your kids, how you don't pay attention to your kids and what they are watching, and how you don't teach you kids what is right and wrong in terms of the way that they are supposed to treat others or how they are supposed to treat them. And unfortunately, I don't think a lot of parents pay attention the above enough because they aren't introspective enough to address their own biases and how it might impact their parenting nor do they observe their surroundings to learn about how situations like this can occur. Thankfully, as I'm following the discussions of the Cornell 57 case, I see a lot of women calling out the "boy moms" and the ways that mothers reinforce the patriarchy and make excuses for their son's behavior. I'm also seeing a lot of mothers who have boys who are having conversations with their sons about this matter and how they are incorporating practices into their parenting so their son doesn't end up becoming a misogynist or someone who would assault someone/ get assaulted. Speaking of boys getting assaulted, I'm also seeing a lot of good discourse about Greek life as a whole and the psychological impacts of hazing that results in normalizing awful shit. I also see some men who are talking about their experiences with sexual assault, their experiences with Greek life and how it selects for people who are weird and psychologically vulnerable to mold them into monsters, and the way that this also translates into homophobia. But I don't see enough fathers joining the discussion around this matter. And I think that's telling. Don't get me wrong, I get that social media tends to skew towards more female creators so that bias already exists. I'm sure that some people are having these conversations IRL and just aren't posting about it (my boyfriend included since he just doesn't have social media). But, I still think the silence is telling because a lot of fathers are part of the problem in the way they perpetuate fucked up ideals about masculinity and consent or they don't have nearly as much of an active role in their kid's life to teach them these sort of things. Then there are other adults who are just, for a lack of a better way of putting it, emotionally and socially illiterate. They might be generally functioning in society but they are incredibly stunted, lack introspection, and just plain don't know how to deal with a multitude of issues if a child came up to them. I put my parents in this category. I look back in my childhood and I think that there were some very obvious symptoms of my poor mental health. And it's not that I don't think my parents didn't notice at all. It's more of they saw the signs and they didn't know how to connect the dots, put two and two together, and realize that their child is suffering from depression and anxiety due to a strained relationship they build with their kid and how they raised the kid in a dysfunctional marriage. They just wrote me off as lazy, as antisocial, and as "the problem child." And thank god I never got sexually assaulted as a kid. Even if I acted out and showed textbook symptoms of the assault, I don't think they would be able to put two and two together and get me the help I need. Hell, given some things my parents have said to me in the past, I'm pretty sure they would have blamed me or claimed that I was lying instead of understanding how sexual abuse works. I would categorize things like not understanding how to communicate in a healthy way, not knowing how to resolve conflicts, not knowing how to identify and share emotions and regulate them, not knowing how to open up to create closeness, not knowing how to build a relationship, misusing therapy terms to weaponize them, all fall under the umbrella of being emotionally illiterate. I would also include not being able to introspect and understand how certain parenting tactics can lead to long term harm and shaping your children in a bad way as also part of being emotionally illiterate. Overall, I think being emotionally illiterate comes down to not knowing how to identify, cope with, or communicate emotions in a healthy way and how to build relationships where people feel heard and understood. I would categorize things like not knowing how sexual assault works, not knowing how teen pregnancies work, not knowing how to handle gay relationships, not knowing how to handle people from different cultures, not knowing how trauma and mental health isssues work, not knowing how eating disorders work, and not know how being neurodivergent works as being under the umbrella of being socially illiterate. I would say being socially illiterate has to do with not understanding broader social issues, how they can manifest in your personal life/ community, and how to interpersonally navigate such things. Like you cannot take something like *sexual assault is bad* and see how various mindsets can lead to someone becoming a rapist and how they originate in the way that we treat one another or raise our kids. You can love your kids and still be emotionally and socially illiterate. My parents are an example of that. There are situations where they mean well but they just poorly handly situations left and right because they don't have the skills to emotionally deal with things nor do they have the social skills to effectively address what's going on. And I think a lot of parents fall into either of these umbrellas based on what I'm seeing with the people among my peers who choose to have kids as well as the result of the types of people we have in our world today. These days, I find myself looking back at various situations in my life where I probably needed some kind of comfort or guidance from my adult figures and even though I have dealt with said issues effectively, I still think it's fucked up the ways the adults around me either failed me or set me up to fail. There are a lot of old people on this earth, but there aren't a lot of people who are elders or safe adults you can go to. I wrote about this before in the post below: And it's crazy as I'm moving into my mid-late 20s and I'm observing the early stages of people's dysfunctional marriages. I remember seeing a statistic when I was a teenager about how 50% of marriages end in divorce. At the time, that stat freaked me out because the whole thing felt like it was up to chance and I could be part of that 50%. Now that I'm in my mid-20s and I'm going to some of these weddings, I'm sitting at the table thinking *yup.... I know who that 50% is.* If anything, I hope the stat is higher because some of these relationships are ratchet as hell. And I think as a kid, you see how these relationships turn out in 10-15 years time because you're observing your parents from the standpoint of your childhood rather than observing them from the beginning of their relationship (because you simply didn't exist at the time or you were a baby who couldn't process anything). But it's freaky to see your own peers getting into their own dysfunctional dynamics and being able to think *yup, I can see how this can fuck up a kid in the future.* Going back to the preventative measures to ensure your kid doesn't end up becomeing like the Cornell 57; it baffles me how parents of rapists are like sitting there looking surprised when shit like this happens. I know a guy who is a few years younger than me in my broader community who got kicked out of university after he assaulted someone. I remember when he was in middle school, he did not understand what was and wasn't appropriate and he made a lot of other girls his age uncomfortable. I remember when this kid was in elementary school, he straight up bit another kid and left bite marks. His mom laughed it off like a little jokey joke and said "oh, poor baby was just a little hungry." And the parents at the time were like "Lady, you're crazy. That's an 8 year old boy capable of using his words, not a wild tiger." Even outside of parenting, the parents in this situation were also questionable individuals morally even though they were relatively well off and well educated. I don't know much about the dynamic between the parents, but I'm sure there is some dysfunction there as well. I know I talked a lot about general misconceptions around sexual assault, the various social factors from childhood that can become a breeding ground for things like the Cornell 57, the ways that the way that people parent, their social/ emotional skills, and their overall relationship can factor into things like this. But even if you control for a lot of these things, your kid can still get assaulted becaus other parents didn't do what they were supposed to do. I think in the state of New York, the law that says that even if you consented to taking drugs, if you engage in consensual sexual activity afterwards, it's still legal. And I think on an institutional level, that law is bullshit. I get that it's supposed to refer to things like *if you had a couple of beers and then had sex, that's not rape* but I think in practice, this section of the law can be weaponized to discredit victims of sexual assault like Jane Doe in this situation. At the same time, even in the case of having a couple of beers and having sex, I think we need to have a higher standard for what is considered consent to decrease the number of ambiguous situations. We need to normalize clear, blatant communication. That's not possible if both of you guys are under the influence. And I think a reason why a lot of people don't want to have proper explicit conversations, is due to things like purity culture which is a whole nother can of worms to unpack. Do I think having drunk sex is inherently rape? Not necessarily. But I do think it can fall under the umbrella of nonconsensual consent. Other examples of nonconsensual consent include: rape fantasies having a safe word so that you can say no in sex and still have it to play into a fantasy without it being an actual violation of consent having sex when you're half awake or waking someone up with a sexual act having sex while on drugs like weed or psychedelics engaging in bdsm in a way that would otherwise prevent you from explicitly communicating (i.e. being gagged so you can't talk, being tied up so you cannot physically communicate/ get a way, being choked etc. And I think all of these fall under the umbrella of kink so it's kind of seen as a fringe sexual practice. But the thing we can learn from this is how in situations like this, before people engage in these practices, they have very clear and explicit conversations if they are doing this in a healthy way. There are parallels between these things and having drunk sex even though the later is much more normalized in society. I was taught that in order to have sex, you need to have FRIES. That means that consent is Freely given, Reversable, Informed, Enthusiastic, and in a Safe environment. Being drunk and not having a conversation before hand disqualifies you from giving informed consent. Hell, you can't even sign contracts if you're drunk and have them be valid. So why are we treating sex in a different way? And of course, in order to handle situations regarding sexual assault effectively, it's important to believe the victim. It's very rare that people lie about things like this. It takes a lot of courage to open up about things like this because of the amount of trauma that is there, the stigma associated with victims of sexual assault, and the victim blaming. In addition to believing the victim, I think in order to do that, it's important to know how sexaul assualt works. I wrote about this earlier but it goes along with how most victims knew their assaulter before hand, that people don't typically get raped by randos in back alleyways, that the victim misremembering things is not an indication of them lying rather it's a symptom of the trauma itself, and how consent works. Like, it's crazy to me seeing how many people are trying to justify this rape by saying "oh, she's freaked out, she wanted a threesome" as if she consented to 7 men having sex with her for 8 hours straight or how people are calling her a "ket whore" and saying she brought this on to herself because she was doing drugs and she was at a frat house at 2 am. I can also understand the sentiment of wanting to protect women and trying to find ways to take control of the situation so that it could have been prevented. It's a way to try to cope with what happened. But that can turn into victim blaming so you want to be very careful about that. Hell, this is another reason why victims don't come forward, why they internalize what happened to them and blame themselves, or it takes them a while to realize what happened to them was not alright. Like I get the knee jerk reaction to not want to go out at night or to cover up, never have sex, and hide your daughters, but that's often a very reactionary take. Because women deserve to walk alone at night, wear what they want, socialize with friends at 2 am, and explore their sexuality without having the threat of gang rape hanging over their heads. Not to mention in societies where this does get implemented, they tend to have a bigger issues with rape because we're blaming victims instead of holding their perpetrators accountable. In conclusion, horrific acts like this doesn't happen in a vacuum and it's due to a culmination of personal and societal factors. And as a result, it's so important for people who could be seen as a trusted adult to be the type of person that puts preventative measures in place and also knows how to handle such cases effectively when things like this occur.
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There isn't inherently one. It's just that people often mistake arrogance for confidence. In fact, most arrogant people that I've met were lacking in the quality they were arrogant about. For example, back when I was 18, my best friend was dating this guy who was really arrogant about his level of intelligence. But he was average in intelligence. And my friend always tended to believe that she's stupid because she has dyslexia and can't spell at all. So, for the brief time they were together, he was always arrogantly bragging about how intelligent he was compared to her... and putting her down and asking her to spell things (and smugly correcting her on her spelling). He even said once when my friend asked him a question about something... "Oh. I guess she has to ask the smart one." And he was so smug about it. But it's clear to me that he might have been feeling quite anxious about his own level of intelligence.
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BlessedLion replied to BlessedLion's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Wow, i must say i thought i was going to get a lot of push back on this, but the level of nuance and insight in these responses is inspiring. Thank you all <3 -
@Leo Gura I would agree in the sense that the vehicles are deliberately overpriced to play into status games which at the end of the day, does matter in attraction. Do you not appreciate the design/aesthetics of these sorts of cars tho? & would u consider car enthusiasts like Doug demuro who purchased a vintage Lamborghini countash as perverts or it could be a legitimate passion?
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Natasha Tori Maru replied to Leo Gura's topic in Society, Politics, Government, Environment, Current Events
This is, er, my "understanding" - gained from experiences. Transmitted. Trying to not sound insane here -
I still don't see the link between excellence and arrogance.
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It Takes a Village to Raise A Rapist I have been following the case with the Cornell 57 (I know a lot of people call them the Cornell 7 because 7 of the men were part of the gang rape but the group chat had like 57 people). It's a horrifying case and as a woman, I do feel impacted emotionally by the sentiments that are being shared. I have been feeling a sense of depression and hypervigilence wash over me this past week. I can't say that it's debilitating or that I'm surprised. Men are capable of committing some heinous acts. I also think that my educational background in Human Rights makes me better equipped to handle such things emotionally because I basically spent 4 years studying the worst aspects of humanity. That's where I'm at emotionally. Intellectually, as a way to make sense of something like this, I catch myself wondering how something like this could occur in the first place and how someone could think that this kind of behavior is acceptable. I also catch myself trying to make sense of other people's reactionary views around this as well and the general sense of emotional literacy some people have. Because I'm at a stage of life where I'm really thinking about the prospect of being a parent, I find myself thinking what I would do if I had a child who was gang raped like this or what I would do if my child turned out to be a rapist (and how to prevent something like this). I think what happened to Jane Doe was horrific. I remember reading an account where she was doing the ketamine hoping it would knock her out so that there would be more of a basis and a case that this was indeed rape that can be held in court as opposed to coersion that might not yield to imprisonment. It wasn't just a drug fueled orgy. I read accounts of her trying to get away and pushing people away as they made their advances towards her but not being able to fight them off because she was so heavily drugged. I read accounts of her initially consenting to a threesome but also, it's questionable if she wanted it or if she was talked into it after she was drugged up. But even if she wanted a threesome, that doesn't give consent to having 7 other people involved. And then there is all the ways that the school adminsitration and the justice system failed her. The whole thing about the university having the rapists write a fucking essay about what happened is infuriating and makes light of the situation. The way that the rapists still got their degrees from a prestigious institution while the victim couldn't even finish college because of the trauma is tragic. The way that people are trying to dox the victim or downplay what she went through is horrifying. The ways that people are slut shaming her, saying that she's lying, or victim blaming her is abhorrent and appalling. The only thing that seems a bit promising is that at least from what I gathered, her parents are supportive of her and are trying to get justice for her. I know damn well that if I was in this situation, I wouldn't be able to go to my parents for something like this. And that feels scary and depressing on a personal level. As for the boys involved, the leaked messages were absolutely disgusting. The way they referred to her as "free pussy" and the way that one of the guys was like "you can just whip your dick out" or "shop still open" was dehumanizing and nauseating. And all of these boys came from relatively well off families and look like normal people you encounter. This is why I hate the narrative that a rapist is some weirdo in a back alleyway. Most of the time, it's a relatively normal looking person you know or have considered a friend. And sexual assault isn't always something like gang raped or being raped at knife point. Most of the time, it's that guy who is being really clingy and is guilt tripping your for not putting out. It's the guy that gets a little to handsy and because he's like twice your size, you think it's easier to go along with it. It's a guy who cannot take no for an answer and instead sees it as a negotiation point. It's the guy who gets you drunk enough to where you let your guard down and you agree to things you otherwise wouldn't have agreed to. It's the girl who you cannot fight off because she's significantly smaller so any amount of self defense is going to make you look like the agressor. It's the girl who was your baby sitter or your teacher who groomed you and then when they made sexual advances towards you, people congradulated you for losing your virginity at 12 to an older chick. It's the girl who ignores your no's or takes you lack of advances personally because of the notion that all men want it all the time. It's the girl who flashes herself at a concert and throws her underwear at a performer while saying vulgar things. Like another thing that pisses me off is how people assume that women cannot be abusers or rapists or that they cannot be a part of the problem as well. Men can also get sexually assaulted and women are also capable of doing fucked up things. The Ghislaine Maxwells of the world exist and there were women in part of the university administration who were also part of the problem. The Cornell 57 case is one of the more egregious versions of this. The more subtle stuff that I listed above happens all the time. And because it' s more subtle, a lot of people don't realize how wrong it was or what kind of trauma it caused until much later. I think this adds to how people don't realize how common sexual assault is. It also yields them to make excuses for victims because they don't want to come to terms with how widespread of an issue this is. Because acknowledging that a lot of drunk sexual encounters, a lot of ambiguous circumstances, a lot of pressure falls under the umbrella of assault is hard to admit as the perpetrator because you don't want to think of yourself as the creep in the back alley way and it's hard to admit as the victim because that means sitting with the gravity of the situation and any difficult emotions that may come up. A lot of people still end up dating their rapist and convince themselves that what happened was okay because they cannot cope with the trauma or the rapist emotionally manipulated them to downplay what actually happened. Even in the Cornell 57 case, one of the guys contacted Jane Doe and asked if "they were still good?" That wasn't them trying to make amends with her, that was them trying to avoid responsibility and morally justify their heinous acts to themselves. Then there is the typical ways that victims of sexual assault tend to act ranging from having a spotty memory, having their brain block certain things out, and again, being in denial of the severity of the case and as a result, not coming out with charges until much later. And I think a lot of sexual assault issues needs to be addressed at the level of prevention as opposed to handling them in court (that also needs to be addressed, but more on that later). Yes, consent education is good in the university level, especially when it comes to the normalization of more subtle / ambiguous circumstances. However, the most heinous people who are capable of doing shit like getting someone hooked on ketamine so that they can gang rape them are not going to attend such discussions. They will think that shit is stupid and go about their day. The Cornell 7 and the 57 men in the group chat didn't get to where they were due to some innocent misinformation. They were likely enabled all their lives to where, by the time they go to university age, it's too late to employ an intervention to change their behaviors and world views. It's start as early as telling little girls on the playground that if a boy is being agressive towards you, that means they like you. It starts as early as letting your boys be rowdy and agressive instead of correcting that behavior at the root. It starts as early as coddling your son and saying your little boy is "just a little misunderstood" wheras you would never use that term with a little girl who was acting out. It starts with little boys growing into their middle school age without any proper role models so they default to Andrew Tate or whatever the fuck is going on in the media and how society portrays masculinity. It starts with telling children of both genders that they should ignore their personal boundaries and hug / kiss any older relative even if they aren't comfortable with that. It starts with telling children to blindly follow authority which then ends up priming them to accept abuse later on in life. It starts with not educating your kids of both genders the difference of appropriate and inappropriate touch. It starts with your kid getting sexually assaulted or groomed by some adult in the family or community and you not handling that shit properly whether that is you accuse your kid of lying, you continuously bring their abuser around them, you reprimend them for acting out their trauma, you not getting them a mental health professional, or you say it's some how their fault because they must have made a move towards the perpetrator. Ultimately, all of the things above that could have been addressed to create prevention measures against raising rapists or victims boil down to neglect; whether that be regarding how you don't discipline your kids, how you don't pay attention to your kids and what they are watching, and how you don't teach you kids what is right and wrong in terms of the way that they are supposed to treat others or how they are supposed to treat them. And unfortunately, I don't think a lot of parents pay attention the above enough because they aren't introspective enough to address their own biases and how it might impact their parenting nor do they observe their surroundings to learn about how situations like this can occur. Thankfully, as I'm following the discussions of the Cornell 57 case, I see a lot of women calling out the "boy moms" and the ways that mothers reinforce the patriarchy and make excuses for their son's behavior. I'm also seeing a lot of mothers who have boys who are having conversations with their sons about this matter and how they are incorporating practices into their parenting so their son doesn't end up becoming a misogynist or someone who would assault someone/ get assaulted. Speaking of boys getting assaulted, I'm also seeing a lot of good discourse about Greek life as a whole and the psychological impacts of hazing that results in normalizing awful shit. I also see some men who are talking about their experiences with sexual assault, their experiences with Greek life and how it selects for people who are weird and psychologically vulnerable to mold them into monsters, and the way that this also translates into homophobia. But I don't see enough fathers joining the discussion around this matter. And I think that's telling. Don't get me wrong, I get that social media tends to skew towards more female creators so that bias already exists. I'm sure that some people are having these conversations IRL and just aren't posting about it (my boyfriend included since he just doesn't have social media). But, I still think the silence is telling because a lot of fathers are part of the problem in the way they perpetuate fucked up ideals about masculinity and consent or they don't have nearly as much of an active role in their kid's life to teach them these sort of things. Then there are other adults who are just, for a lack of a better way of putting it, emotionally and socially illiterate. They might be generally functioning in society but they are incredibly stunted, lack introspection, and just plain don't know how to deal with a multitude of issues if a child came up to them. I put my parents in this category. I look back in my childhood and I think that there were some very obvious symptoms of my poor mental health. And it's not that I don't think my parents didn't notice at all. It's more of they saw the signs and they didn't know how to connect the dots, put two and two together, and realize that their child is suffering from depression and anxiety due to a strained relationship they build with their kid and how they raised the kid in a dysfunctional marriage. They just wrote me off as lazy, as antisocial, and as "the problem child." And thank god I never got sexually assaulted as a kid. Even if I acted out and showed textbook symptoms of the assault, I don't think they would be able to put two and two together and get me the help I need. Hell, given some things my parents have said to me in the past, I'm pretty sure they would have blamed me or claimed that I was lying instead of understanding how sexual abuse works. I would categorize things like not understanding how to communicate in a healthy way, not knowing how to resolve conflicts, not knowing how to identify and share emotions and regulate them, not knowing how to open up to create closeness, not knowing how to build a relationship, misusing therapy terms to weaponize them, all fall under the umbrella of being emotionally illiterate. I would also include not being able to introspect and understand how certain parenting tactics can lead to long term harm and shaping your children in a bad way as also part of being emotionally illiterate. Overall, I think being emotionally illiterate comes down to not knowing how to identify, cope with, or communicate emotions in a healthy way and how to build relationships where people feel heard and understood. I would categorize things like not knowing how sexual assault works, not knowing how teen pregnancies work, not knowing how to handle gay relationships, not knowing how to handle people from different cultures, not knowing how trauma and mental health isssues work, not knowing how eating disorders work, and not know how being neurodivergent works as being under the umbrella of being socially illiterate. I would say being socially illiterate has to do with not understanding broader social issues, how they can manifest in your personal life/ community, and how to interpersonally navigate such things. Like you cannot take something like *sexual assault is bad* and see how various mindsets can lead to someone becoming a rapist and how they originate in the way that we treat one another or raise our kids. You can love your kids and still be emotionally and socially illiterate. My parents are an example of that. There are situations where they mean well but they just poorly handly situations left and right because they don't have the skills to emotionally deal with things nor do they have the social skills to effectively address what's going on. And I think a lot of parents fall into either of these umbrellas based on what I'm seeing with the people among my peers who choose to have kids as well as the result of the types of people we have in our world today. These days, I find myself looking back at various situations in my life where I probably needed some kind of comfort or guidance from my adult figures and even though I have dealt with said issues effectively, I still think it's fucked up the ways the adults around me either failed me or set me up to fail. There are a lot of old people on this earth, but there aren't a lot of people who are elders or safe adults you can go to. I wrote about this before in the post below: And it's crazy as I'm moving into my mid-late 20s and I'm observing the early stages of people's dysfunctional marriages. I remember seeing a statistic when I was a teenager about how 50% of marriages end in divorce. At the time, that stat freaked me out because the whole thing felt like it was up to chance and I could be part of that 50%. Now that I'm in my mid-20s and I'm going to some of these weddings, I'm sitting at the table thinking *yup.... I know who that 50% is.* If anything, I hope the stat is higher because some of these relationships are ratchet as hell. And I think as a kid, you see how these relationships turn out in 10-15 years time because you're observing your parents from the standpoint of your childhood rather than observing them from the beginning of their relationship (because you simply didn't exist at the time or you were a baby who couldn't process anything). But it's freaky to see your own peers getting into their own dysfunctional dynamics and being able to think *yup, I can see how this can fuck up a kid in the future.* Going back to the preventative measures to ensure your kid doesn't end up becomeing like the Cornell 57; it baffles me how parents of rapists are like sitting there looking surprised when shit like this happens. I know a guy who is a few years younger than me in my broader community who got kicked out of university after he assaulted someone. I remember when he was in middle school, he did not understand what was and wasn't appropriate and he made a lot of other girls his age uncomfortable. I remember when this kid was in elementary school, he straight up bit another kid and left bite marks. His mom laughed it off like a little jokey joke and said "oh, poor baby was just a little hungry." And the parents at the time were like "Lady, you're crazy. That's an 8 year old boy capable of using his words, not a wild tiger." Even outside of parenting, the parents in this situation were also questionable individuals morally even though they were relatively well off and well educated. I don't know much about the dynamic between the parents, but I'm sure there is some dysfunction there as well. I know I talked a lot about general misconceptions around sexual assault, the various social factors from childhood that can become a breeding ground for things like the Cornell 57, the ways that the way that people parent, their social/ emotional skills, and their overall relationship can factor into things like this. But even if you control for a lot of these things, your kid can still get assaulted becaus other parents didn't do what they were supposed to do. I think in the state of New York, the law that says that even if you consented to taking drugs, if you engage in consensual sexual activity afterwards, it's still legal. And I think on an institutional level, that law is bullshit. I get that it's supposed to refer to things like *if you had a couple of beers and then had sex, that's not rape* but I think in practice, this section of the law can be weaponized to discredit victims of sexual assault like Jane Doe in this situation. At the same time, even in the case of having a couple of beers and having sex, I think we need to have a higher standard for what is considered consent to decrease the number of ambiguous situations. We need to normalize clear, blatant communication. That's not possible if both of you guys are under the influence. And I think a reason why a lot of people don't want to have proper explicit conversations, is due to things like purity culture which is a whole nother can of worms to unpack. Do I think having drunk sex is inherently rape? Not necessarily. But I do think it can fall under the umbrella of nonconsensual consent. Other examples of nonconsensual consent include: rape fantasies having a safe word so that you can say no in sex and still have it to play into a fantasy without it being an actual violation of consent having sex when you're half awake or waking someone up with a sexual act having sex while on drugs like weed or psychedelics engaging in bdsm in a way that would otherwise prevent you from explicitly communicating (i.e. being gagged so you can't talk, being tied up so you cannot physically communicate/ get a way, being choked etc. And I think all of these fall under the umbrella of kink so it's kind of seen as a fringe sexual practice. But the thing we can learn from this is how in situations like this, before people engage in these practices, they have very clear and explicit conversations if they are doing this in a healthy way. There are parallels between these things and having drunk sex even though the later is much more normalized in society. I was taught that in order to have sex, you need to have FRIES. That means that consent is Freely given, Reversable, Informed, Enthusiastic, and in a Safe environment. Being drunk and not having a conversation before hand disqualifies you from giving informed consent. Hell, you can't even sign contracts if you're drunk and have them be valid. So why are we treating sex in a different way? And of course, in order to handle situations regarding sexual assault effectively, it's important to believe the victim. It's very rare that people lie about things like this. It takes a lot of courage to open up about things like this because of the amount of trauma that is there, the stigma associated with victims of sexual assault, and the victim blaming. In addition to believing the victim, I think in order to do that, it's important to know how sexaul assualt works. I wrote about this earlier but it goes along with how most victims knew their assaulter before hand, that people don't typically get raped by randos in back alleyways, that the victim misremembering things is not an indication of them lying rather it's a symptom of the trauma itself, and how consent works. Like, it's crazy to me seeing how many people are trying to justify this rape by saying "oh, she's freaked out, she wanted a threesome" as if she consented to 7 men having sex with her for 8 hours straight or how people are calling her a "ket whore" and saying she brought this on to herself because she was doing drugs and she was at a frat house at 2 am. I can also understand the sentiment of wanting to protect women and trying to find ways to take control of the situation so that it could have been prevented. It's a way to try to cope with what happened. But that can turn into victim blaming so you want to be very careful about that. Hell, this is another reason why victims don't come forward, why they internalize what happened to them and blame themselves, or it takes them a while to realize what happened to them was not alright. Like I get the knee jerk reaction to not want to go out at night or to cover up, never have sex, and hide your daughters, but that's often a very reactionary take. Because women deserve to walk alone at night, wear what they want, socialize with friends at 2 am, and explore their sexuality without having the threat of gang rape hanging over their heads. Not to mention in societies where this does get implemented, they tend to have a bigger issues with rape because we're blaming victims instead of holding their perpetrators accountable. In conclusion, horrific acts like this doesn't happen in a vacuum and it's due to a culmination of personal and societal factors. And as a result, it's so important for people who could be seen as a trusted adult to be the type of person that puts preventative measures in place and also knows how to handle such cases effectively when things like this occur.
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As long as you're just focusing on hierarchy in the most practical way, that's fine. There are specialists that are better and worse at their respective crafts. And I certainly value excellence in my craft. However, my impression is that you tend to be quite attached to identities of being "the more conscious one"... or even just "the different one... who's different than the chimp-humans." And I notice that you can tend to project hierarchy in a more existential sense... rather than just in a practical sense. And that tendency may run in opposition to your goals.
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Industrial warfare has morphed into monstrous levels in modern times. The Allies and Nazis used to bomb each other's cities in Europe extracting heavy civilian casualties and destruction of industrial infrastructure. The villages were spared because they lacked the same. A nuclear war between the US, Europe and Russia would mean the total annihilation of these nations permanently reducing them into nightmarish radioactive landscapes where nothing grows. Better be a hippie or Amish or ignorant tribal living long peaceful lives rather than a hypernationalistic and technological fool who unwittingly brings about the destruction of his whole country due to materialistic greed or psychological insecurity issues, if you ask me.
- Today
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This explains everything: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DeIUzAjuq4C/
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I was never talking about superiority. I was talking about degree of consciousness. A tall person is not superior, but he is taller. And spirituality requires becoming taller.
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That's not what I'm claiming. Differentiation in quality and ability exists. There are better and worse basketball players. There are better and worse brick layers. And there are better and worse of the kind of thing that I am in terms of how I express my talents for expanded awareness, accurate perception, intellect, and teaching/guidance. What I'm saying is that that's simply my specialization.... and there's nothing special about having a specialization. It's 100% chimp stuff! Having a specialization is an ordinary human quality. And some ordinary humans happen to have the gifts that enable them to specialize in bridging the gap between the conscious and unconscious mind and between the spiritual and material world in service to other ordinary humans. But there is a reason why there are so few people specializing in this: We just don't need as many of what we specialize in compared to mechanics, brick-layers, plumbers, or even basketball players. So, I recognize that I'm excellent at my specialization and there's a practical hierarchy there (as many would not be able to do this)... BUT my specialization isn't superior to the specializations of other human beings. In fact, it isn't even superior to the chimp and the roles the chimp plays in its own social context. Ultimately, specializations exist in service to other humans, animals, and the planet at large. And a specialization is only valuable in-so-far it is providing a service to yourself or others... as specializations are communally oriented. So, while I recognize that I'm better at consciousness than the chimp... and most individuals... it doesn't mean that my specialization and place in the world is more important than theirs. That's why I don't dwell too much on identifying with divergences and hierarchical identities. Instead, I view myself as a craftsman. And I want to be excellent at my craft... no better or worse than a carpenter who seeks excellence in their craft.
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Having higher consciousness is a reason to be even more humble, not arrogant. Doesn't mean you should lose your boundaries. Arrogance does not improve boundaries. It just creates fake artificial ones.
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Great analogy
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Recursoinominado replied to gengar's topic in Society, Politics, Government, Environment, Current Events
Makes sense to me that advancing stages is linear and regressing may not be. It depends heavily on the situation. Maybe you are a green hippie but you are enlisted to a war and you become a stage red psycho in order to survive. Also, it is my understanding that no one is "pure green" or "pure blue", we stretch across a few stages, specially when you reach second tier, you may go "back" to previous stages to polish some aspects in order to become balanced. Imagine a stage yellow thinker who lacks stage blue discipline or stage orange ambition or stage red aggressive grit. I myself am going through this process. I a somewhat yellow but I have many aspects to work on that I didn't from the previous stages. Right now, my country is in the middle of an important election and I am getting triggered as a classic stage green. It's an amazing model to make sense of the world. -
You'll know once you experience God.
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I am not saying you must pursue higher consciousness. If you want to be a more normie person, that is of course your choice. My issue with your stance is that it denies that consciousness comes in many degrees. This is just a matter of fact, of how consciousness works. It is like I am saying stars glow at different brightness levels, and you are saying, no, they are all just light. If you don't want to glow any brighter, okay. But you can't deny some stars are brighter than others. And that is not egotism or arrogance.
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I don't think you understand what I'm saying. But that's okay.
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Cubbage replied to Carl-Richard's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
The fact I have only gone galaxy brain mode once versus countless cessation experiences and I still say that the one experience is more profound than any of my cessation put together says a lot. If I experience cessation nowadays, it feels very shallow by comparison. Still profound, but astonishingly shallow compared to the peak of that type of consciousness I was in.
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