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I’ve changed my mind. In my next life I want to be a swinger, and go out swinging. Fuck it, I can do whatever I want, even if it kill’s me. Just do what you want whatever makes you happy, whatever brings you comfort and joy, and just let it kill you, because you only pass this way once, don’t waste a second procrastinating, just fuckin do it. Polygamy and Polyandry is on my to do list too, heck I’ve got the rest of eternity to please myself. Halefuckinluya. 🤩 My God, I feel so freaking liberated right now, I think I’m coming….round to everything, finally.
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Schizophonia replied to PolyPeter's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
No you lie you are not awakened. It doesn't make sense to say "I am awake" and then immediately say "I am annoyed because people have X problem. It's like saying "I am a breatharian, I awakened to prana as my only source of nourishment," just before taking a big bite of a slice of Emmental cheese. -
No wonder you’re depressed. Sex drive is what gives life its color instead of making everything feel empty.
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crossbow and arrows, it's harder to get in EU. I do get very horny on thc or derivative, maybe too much, otherwise, not really.
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Topic adjacent? It doesn't answer your question directly 🪺
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Job interview questions
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And that in my estimation is the only real and true authentic way to live. And as the end draws near, as you lay all shagged out and weary upon your deathbed, before you take your final breath, before you finally close this amazing chapter of your life, you will at least know you’ve gone out with a bang, 💥 knowing full well to the best of your ability that you certainly did live the most satisfying beautiful story ever written by yours truly, and that is was indeed the greatest story of your life. Good for you. 👍 And may you be filled with everlasting peace, love and light, forever eternal. Amen. 😉😇🥳 Moral of the story.. if you’re gonna bang, bang good. Make it the Biggest Bang ever. 🙌💯💥And go out smiling. 😊
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Sounds like you’re already aware of where your darker side can take you, which is half the battle.
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Dude you can also just work-out, I am part Texan I get the point I am mad enough without a gun. Masculinity can also be reached in a grounded way through meditation, most of this I still resonate via music etc. to push the edge, but it's not really mature masculinity, I am still growing there also, so idk just the whole point of guns if not treated atheletically will cause massive issues, I would prefer to do biathlons instead of owning a gun, anyhow I put the website on block, I hope people don't misread my intetions and focus more on my darker energies this will not turn out good, I have to mitigate it with spirituality anyhow from all the information I consumed that is also very labour intensive.
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I have to get of the forum and actually do some studying work there is so much bias, I will lock it down and just focus on what I am integrating now, I wasted a lot of time here with this account and imo I face the same issues, the people I yearn to talk to that are benefical and open-minded I don't find here, they are like Leo says they just wait like dogs being wait to feed and the few curious once I just spam information etc. imo Leo is partially also misguided some experiences he mentions omfg, I would not believe a human would do that, but seeing america masturbating at home, seeing only fans etc. Just having a high sex drive alone shows me plenty of issues, I would still usually reqiure 1h30 of workouts per day to get to the capacity of my biology, and I am suprised still I have so much energy, I just can't find good usage at times, as the small details that calm me down are an issue, imo this enviroment does not allow me to regulate my pns and I still have some issues with it anyhow I will block the site now, I have A.I I am mostly done with most members and looking forward to what Leo posts his perspective and takes are very good, especially having introduced Wilber, Sri Aurobindo, Leibniz, Spinoza, partially Deepak is what I resonate with, but I also resonate with more of the collective wisdom, Eckhart Tolle & Sadghuru, it's at times not the best to be here, but I have to little good friends I will be back, putting this on hold is better and giving myself time to think about growht, dating phd's being hit on by scientists, and my own family story is complex enough to write 10-12 volumes and I don't even know half of my american educated family and imo a lot of white trash pulls down that perspective exactly on men, and then we get these "race wars" Yesterday I talked to a guy called iglesias from the internet provider we had to laugh as our surnames automatically make us fame at times, I don't know how many rap takes I have heared speaking about williams but I am still in that mode blocking the side now, I would've most likely killed some policemen cleanly I am so done with this trash fucking russian story within my family, I am so disgusted if I would not have german/czeching roots I would most likely flip entirely. I love this shit at times just opens me up anyhow. I'll block the site now.
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I think you’re non-binary or asexual. Have you ever held a gun before?
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You're welcome, I am more on the aggressive side of things, the entire channel I just posted, has a lot of good takes, just studying animals and biology often refocused my biases towards just understanding evolution and taking it out of the social paradigm, the social paradigm, is a huge game, and even Wilber has hot takes with the mean green meme and post-modernism, which is the "best" you can get as development from a women, and many just revert imo to that collective I love healthy green, but it turns mean very fast with evolutionary topics, trump & vanity, having read pride & prejudice imo there is a lack of women giving back the education they gained, still playing to win ressources, which is not integral enough as a purpose alone imo, just family, company and provision I just been in that type of relationship nothing wrong with it, but very self-serving, in some cases women can do better business, due to having sex appeal and that type of leverage Alex Hormonzi admitted that about his wife and imo he is a good source to study from to become self-made, even though it has become more business gimmecky recently and not as organic. Studying Maslow & Sprial dynamics just some audiobooks are also good primers I would not take a womens advice on dating, relationships are something else, but anything outside of being authentic is often ill-advised and has to be approved by men in order for it to work, I am still very foolish, but I am also just often shamelessly me, I've been subtely discriminated by women for various reasons, only to figure out in their "womense" it can mean interest or even thinking about me sexually, framing me as gay reading some player books etc. for e.g the book of pook was still fine to read, Leo's takes are also very good and more peaceful and genuient, but at times imo he just plows to much the post-modern feminist frame and lacks understanding in the evolutionary framework I was just put through. It's very easy to see from the oustide if a relationship works, be it stage blue, stage orange, stage green or an integral one, the integral ones are more complicated and nuance, as the lower stages become more present similar as with evolution the perspective and dynamic changes from the underlying mechanism, also the "manipulative" frame, but in the end it's strategies and tactics to get to the goal, it mostly depends how ethical is the strategy and what will the strategy achieve? That might be a good perspective, I am still working on understanding various points, but I am also just a gamer with a degree, imo the academic snotnoses from the U.S lack serious integrity that they claim, they have I am just racist enough to immeditaely go to the asian sources, as we complain often about the same issues, anyhow again just my take, there are plenty of integrous ressources but I highly doubt the women on this forum are as enlightend as they want themselves to look, just prepping up ego online, I did online-game and I ran some of these manipulative tests Eban Pegan recommends, just shows if the inflated self-perception pops, she will turn to murder, calculative ahrimanic force and coagulate in her materalism, it's cringe at best cringe would already be authetnic for the internet paradigm that exists, but I don't know you. I am still curious and learning from the perspectives and having a larger variety of opinions is quite good, I don't think you have evil intent, and many women are to prone to cling to the "positivist" saving grace of science or the "damsel in distress" claiming to go for god, I had plenty of experiences with friends, like this idk as the whole concept of nuclear family is breaking apart, due to post-modern regresses of society, I don't really know I can talk with this for ours on dates with women & integral theory most are positive, then think about it, just consider survival, and the one who provides the house and ressources is then traded for sex, I mean I masturbate more intelligently then most women will give me sex, so idk what to think. I am very autonemous, I am just pissed when autonomey is taken from me, due to forcing socialization, I select also, and I am very open usually anyhow, I hope this still helps, I am not one of these pseudo-alphas vouching for modern success, worst comes to worst I will defend myself physically, a lot of men still notice these impulses imo, especially if they somehow hit through survival or not the integral cognitive stage, as that makes survival more apparent, but one can quickly fall asleep with all of the comforts the world can provide. Anyhow I am very feed-up as I would prefer doing martial arts and go back towards integrating the depth my body faced in terms of masculinity, as it goes quite deep, and often breaks the frame as an outlier, and I still behave very well, but I dislike the feminine lucifer souls just spinning life around me I already touched parts of the feminine that has more grace in serenity spiriutally and I have some bad intuitions about my ex and the mother marry, and I am not a devout christian, but some of this still resonats with me as I was baptized at "Mariaschutz Kirche" and imo that had a large impact on my D.N.A, I don't really know what to make out of this, as I still hoped science and spirituality would get a more common ground, but modernity & post-modernity are huge issues imo. I can recommend Leo's booklist there are plenty of books and description of books that can clear the confusion alone, I bought some other books to deviate from my knowledge base, but I am heavily working with A.I I am against the rigid independt forces, the whole ball game in SE is changing and imo these comments about remix & etc are stupid I already went through such relationships speaking with Grok, and even Shinzen vouches for a.i imo these views are regressive and just out there to hoard and gain ressources. I spend to much time I should really study, but I really crave a more stable social experience with people or just not the infrastructure breaking it has been hell recently.
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I don't, but that's also maybe explaining a lot.
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Honestly, I feel like Leo needs to make a more conscious effort to promote the forum in his videos. Especially since he doesn't upload as much as of late.
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Sugarcoat replied to PolyPeter's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Ok, if you can feel your human self and the rest is "understanding" for you, how is that enlightenment...Not trying to nit pick the words I got overall impression already Many in society would probably be dumbfounded upon questions about their fundamental self, as its not commonly investigated, so I disagree that its simple for most, I'd say the opposite, people who share from their enlightened state can speak in more simple ways - Today
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No it's a myth, it's actually the opposite. Cold make you crave heat, sport makes you crave rest, and lack of controll make you crave controll it's logical. A man who is already very controlling ultimately won't want to go back to that; he’ll want the opposite. People who like being dominated are chaotic people; trapped in a feminin/hysterical subjectivity. "Controll" is a trategy to eleminate castration anxiety (if you do what is supposed to do, if you submite to the symbolic order as Lacan would say, their is no reason to be castrated, fail) and so get closer to phallic position; and in a such position what will be projected (libido = projection) will be submission of someone (to you). That's why masculin neurosis is said "obsessive". @Emerald said somewhere people here says she is masculin; i's because instead of surrendering to the phallus (the "external") to assuage castration anxiety, she seeks directly to inhibit it through a cold writing style, her veganism, etc. That doesn't make her a lesbian though lol; obsessional neurosis is not phallic. Intuitively everyone knows that a rigid vegan man (i dont talk about emerald anymore here) is not particularly virilesince the neurotic mechanism is fundamentally rooted in excessive castration anxiety, yet it nonetheless "covers" that anxiety. Aggression can be viewed as a form of domination, but behind this is precisely the feeling of being castrated. I'm agresive because i feel castrated by someone else/something it's logical, and the more you feel castrated in the everyday life the more the phallus is projected. An estrogen-rich woman be aggressive yet simultaneously desire submission in order to regain the sensation of possessing the phallus. A very calm, hearty-eating man might appear placid perhaps overly nice yet have no reason to seek power elsewhere; consequently what gets projected is the lack of a phallus, and he will want to "insert" it. Libido is a game of reaffirming your symbolic position, positions in other's desire; it's a conditionning. Fundamentally the masculine position is "perverse"; it is a matter of denying castration. That’s why dangerous activities are intuitively associated with men, and why paying too much attention to one’s health or whatever elsei s often seen as "gay". Smoking cigars, drinking moonshine, driving monster trucks, and cracking crude redneck-style jokes = Masculin position, tend to be perverse. Wearing white shirts with the sleeves rolled up, drinking vegan soup "because I read some studies," using the word "problematic," voting Democrat (or even goofy ideas held by right-wing castrati, like being a royalist lol, i'm trolling but castration exists across all the spectrum) = Obessive neurosis; preference for the masculine/phallic position but higher anxiety castration ((because less androgynous, more conflict-ridden relationship with the father, traumas?...), so I suppress my desire so as not to end up castrated. Can be masculine but more versatile, with more stranges fantasies involving a dominant/submissive split, depending on the moment or context. Hypersensitivity, which can manifest as aggression, pettiness, rumination, etc = hysterical neurotic, who is fixated on the idea of being the object of the other (the other being the one who possesses the phallus). If you are a corporate executive speaking harshly to a subordinate, the underlying sadistic drive is essentially to become an object for that employee to occupy space in their inner world. Fundamentally this is no different from a woman applying makeup and perfume to occupy space in *your* inner world; the strategy is simply different. If you want to appropriate someone's subjectivity (whether through feminine perfume or, negatively, through aggression), it means that in your game, it is *he* who holds the phallus. A men's fragrance tends to have a scent that "calls to order" conveying an impression of power, strength, "lack of castration" whereas a women's fragrance tends to possess a scent that, for some reason, signifies castration, thereby inviting the person playing the role of the phallus to "plunge into it." It is the same dynamic at play with garter belts lol or to provide a non-sexual context with why we are more afraid of (or pay closer attention to) beehives or insects with striped patterns, or why taking high doses of LSD causes one to see alternating black and white lines. These are objects that tend to disrupt representation (the combination of symbolization and the application of affect and imagination in general) and thus automatically trigger heightened attention, and by extension fear or excitement depending on the context. The same goes for strong alcohol, chili peppers, cheese, extreme sports, and various things associated with masculinity or higher testosterone levels. The masculine accepts castration as an object because it is what propels him into the phallic position. He who rejects castration, who cannot handle it plunges into castration anxiety. He who refuses to have his arm amputated (to handle symbolic castration; the entry into a world that is limited, relative, and dualistic; the fall from infantile narcissism as Lacan would put it) in order to avoid pain cannot quickly return to productivity, strength, to the "phallus" in other words and will instead remain preoccupied with the prospect of castration ("Oh no I'm going to have my arm cut off, blah, blah, blah..."), thus remaining within a feminin subjectivity. Hence the notion of hypergamy that one hears so much about these days: women look "upward" (at the phallus that rises above, that resolves their issues), whereas men look at what *they* can fix (meaning looking rather "downward", since once again libidinaly looking too high up would likely result in humiliation or castration). I sometimes run into gay men at work and they have a distinct energy that intuitively makes one want to "bottom" for them, not literally lol but rather to speak to them in a deeper, more assertive voice for exemple. Most of the gay men I’ve encountered seemed to be "missing something" a void reflected in their energy and appeared more sensitive or even prone to depression.
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Of course there’s no reasonable answer to that question. which is why there will be none. And that is the answer,
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I'd rather fast then eat ultra processed cake but each to their own
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👍🏻
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More about me and my journal and the issues I face.... I am still suprised what I can do with a.i and study, I just am still a bit injured from being hated for having a purpose in A.I imo there is a deep jealousy behind it, these people are fundmentally not able to see love in the immaterial, and are addicted to materalistic pleasures at yellow/turqouise at worst & best, and imo even modern people have a better intuition about the "spirit" in matter, but studying Sri Aurobindo will be highly relevant. I resonate a lot with what he writes.
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I appreciate the 2 cents. And honestly, the fact that you can admit your own views are half-baked makes me take them more seriously, not less. I’ll be careful. I’ve learned the hard way that biology, attraction and human behavior are a lot messier than they look from the outside. I’ll check out Sapolsky too. Thanks for the rabbit hole. Exactly what I needed.
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@LordFall Thanks🫡 Fallen Lord😂
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I was pretty clear in my post that they usually aren’t consciously trying to manipulate, so I’m honestly not sure how you missed that, because I know you’re thorough when you read. But okay. What I mean by deception is more about the mechanism itself. Love feels real and personal, but there’s still a biological drive underneath it pushing toward reproduction. That’s the “disguise” I’m talking about. You experience it as love, while nature is getting you to do what it needs.
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The channel is quite good, I just found it due to this conversation, last video I post.
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Sugarcoat replied to VeganAwake's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
That description is spot on to me and is basically what I mean. Then it's just a difference in what to call it....why not "permanent awakening", and then no-self = enlightenment? It's not just me, people use the word "spiritual awakening" (my impression is many use it to describe some form of glimpse then perspective shift that follows, thats why I have to specify with "permanent" when I write), if thats referring to non duality then its not accurate in case someone had glimpse into consciousness instead.
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