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That is besides the point, yet at the same time it was my point all along. But I was answering your question about being a mirror to someone. The more conscious you become, the more pure you become of your lies and inner demons, and the more of a clear mirror you become to others — as you won’t play along with their bullshit.
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This is judgement
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16 year old looksmaxxer abuses arda, fucks his shit You can't tell me this isn't pathological behaviour born of this movement.
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Agreed. But then why do we want someone who is not capable of being intimate with us?
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This insight is also so significant. Changed my life years ago.
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To the extent we can meet someone face to face, yes. Otherwise, it is just an abstraction.
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Depending on your consciousness level and how much lies, biases and deceptions you see, your absolute vulnerability will expose those in others you are intimate with.
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Exactly.
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Absolute vulnerability to me. It is the lack of controlling.
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I actually have the old RSD course (I think it was Hotseat at Home), so I'm familiar with the concepts they teach. Where I think we disagree is on what self-esteem actually is. To me, genuine self-esteem isn't confidence that comes from approaching women, getting results, or being in a certain state. It's the ability to accept yourself regardless of what state you're currently in. If you wake up feeling grumpy, anxious, or mentally exhausted after a long day of work, you're still okay. You don't immediately feel the need to escape into a different emotional state before you can accept yourself. That's a much deeper issue than game. The reason I keep pushing back is that your framework still ties your sense of self to external evidence. If you're approaching, opening, in flow, and getting positive reactions, then you feel confident. If those things disappear, what happens to that confidence? That's exactly what toxic shame tends to do. It says, "I'm not enough as I am, but if I collect enough external proof, I can finally feel okay." To me, that's the same pattern you see in other areas of life. If you talked to a very Stage Orange businessman about self-love, he might say, "Show me your bank account and then I'll tell you whether self-love works." The metric simply changes—from money, to women, to status—but the underlying mechanism is the same: using external achievements to regulate your self-worth. None of this means approaching is bad. Exposure can be incredibly valuable. I just don't think it creates self-esteem. At best, it can increase confidence in a specific skill. Genuine self-esteem is something much more unconditional than that.
- Today
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Willy Phallicus replied to Emotionalmosquito's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
This dream reality does provide the possibility that will allow a human being to maintain the integrity of their individual essence beyond the veil of death. Its the promise and the miracle of the Infinite. You are the infinite. The infinite can do whatever it wants. Its one of the perks of being I Am. I remembered I was God and that came with the remembering that God can do whatever God wants to do and/or experience. If you Know Thyself to be God then you know that it's true. -
@Valach What do you think deep emotional connection and intimacy means?
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@Valach flow is what confidence is, don't misinterpret me. Flow = confidence. Nobody that is not in a flow state is 100% confident. Nobody wakes up in the morning and is 100% confident, this is literally all RSD teaching is. I don't know if you have listened to Owen's course, but it literally talks about this, where you have to warm up, get into flow and momentum, you even see how the first few approaches go shit and then later at night it goes well. If you wake up in the morning and you directly open the hardest set and it goes well, then go teach your own course on inner game, I think many guys would want it over the RSD teachings, but I simply don't believe in such fairytales, it sounds like a bunch of BS and escaping the work that is required.
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Mellowmarsh replied to ROOBIO's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
The looking is not the thing it’s looking at. And the thing looked at is not the looking. So now what? Everything is not, that’s what. Might as well just laugh out loud. 🤣 Because ultimately, nothing matters, and nothing cares. -
Most of them, yes. Obviously most of my friends are also only the people who are interested in this kind of work. But I have friends who are "normal". Like recently I started to hang out with my gym trainer. But I do not hide from him who I am - I try to present in a way that is digestible for him but I do not think that is me being inauthentic. Also I do not understand the part about becoming mirror - could you expand on that? @Miguel1 I do not think being authetic means that I go around telling people some insights or telling them how I view their inner worlds.
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@Valach When you truly become a mirror for people’s inner demons, lies and deceptions, they run very fast.
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I guess it comes down to whether you prefer looking at words or listening to sounds more. It depends for me, there are benefits to both.
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It's the worst book I've read on his booklist imo. Edit: I found it dishonest, misleading and more or less useless. If you want an autobiography the Gandhi one "My Experiments With Truth" is really good, he essentially starts off the book about talking about how he was not sure whether he should write an autobiography at all because he was scared he'd change his mind on things later or end up writing something that ends up being misleading rather than illuminating. That was a refreshing contrast when you compare it with Arnold's autobiography which is pretty much just Arnold telling glamorizing stories about his rise to success in bodybuilding, talking about doing unhealthy volumes of exercise(50-60 sets of squats in one session) in the forest(heavily steroid powered but conveniently leaves that out). With a bunch of hot models around for motivation and that they were drinking a lot of beer, it's practically just him bragging about living a rockstar life, spending time with hot models and meeting influential people. He also gives some questionable diet advice at the end of the book like that you can mix red wine & raw eggs into a shake and drink it. Spend your time on anything else imo lmao. The only value I can see from reading this book is that you get a glimpse into the mind of a person at the height of their career and how paradoxically you can be at the top while still being completely deluded in most areas of your life. In this sense it's insightful, but to me it was painful rather than illuminating to read.
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Could be. I have not lived it for so long to talk about it. But even now I have couple of friends who resonate with who I am so I am okay in this regard. Finding a partner is going to be different task though, lets see
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It’s not so black and white. Yes, in theory it is more fulfilling. But see, when nobody resonates with you deeply and you are left alone for years, it might become a serious problem really fast, as we are social animals. This works if you are a normie but if you are serious into the work we do here, you alienate 99%+ of people you meet randomly, if you were fully authentic and honest about that.
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That's actually where I think my perspective differs. Learning fundamentals like listening well, communicating clearly or respecting boundaries obviously makes sense. What I'm questioning is learning to optimise your behaviour primarily around what gets the best reactions from other people. My concern is that if the underlying motivation is "How do I get people to like me?" then repeatedly practising that may strengthen the habit of looking outside yourself for validation. From my perspective, authenticity isn't something you add after mastering performance. It's a different way of relating to people altogether.
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I agree that a middle path will probably maximise social results. My question is whether maximising social results should always be the objective. If expressing something that is genuinely true for me causes someone to like me less, I'm becoming less convinced that's necessarily a bad outcome. It may simply reveal incompatibility rather than represent a failure of social skills. In other words, I think authenticity changes the optimisation target. Instead of optimising for being liked by as many people as possible, you're optimising for expressing yourself honestly and seeing who naturally resonates with that. Not to mention it is just so much more fulfilling for your own soul.
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You have a misunderstanding what innergame is. It is not some affirmation you tell yourself. The "authentic" thought you have that tell you that you are not attractive are not yours. They have been planted there. What happens if you are out of the flow state? Do you lose your confidence? Average person is highly traumatised. Average guy who gets into pickup even more so. This is not being critical of you taking action. By any means go for it. But you seem to lack understanding what innergame or real self esteem etc is about. The real confidence is not build upon something. Not upon your looks, not upon how much money you make or how many woman want you in the moment, or what is your current flow/momentum or how much action you are taking. Flow is basically an attempt to compensate for having low self esteem. "When I am not in state I am not acceptable and worthy, but when I reach it I am okay - works quite similiar with alcohol or drugs".
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This is a weird test, but when it starts to sound like blah blah blah.
