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- Past hour
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I made a wild sounding song. It’s not perfect but I felt like a captured a vibe worth sharing. https://www.bandlab.com/post/1615005c-6e03-43d2-b18b-a1088c3f2db8
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Joshe replied to Zeroguy's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
When some people answer the question "what is all this about?" they like to keep reminding themselves of the answer every day, and they like to show other people the shiny constructions they've built in their inner space, and they like to organize their life around it. This whole process allows them to build a "profound" identity. Do you know how easy it would be to take 100 people off the street and teach them the core tenants of these teachings, and to then tell them to practice solipsism until that felt experience dominates their reality? Like, this isn't difficult to do. It's how the mind works. It spins stories quite easily. The deluded ones think that the more they exclude external reality, the closer to truth they're getting - that's how they measure their success - by how much they've altered their state while cycling through their spiritual conclusions while in their altered states. This is exactly how psychosis works. It's an escape from reality, but they think it's a noble embrace. Say it's all true. When does the excitement wear off? They need it to not die off. They need to keep talking about it and to keep reminding themselves about it. Isn't that interesting? -
It takes a lot of contemplative effort to see through the illusions of science, hence why is so uncommon. Basically how science deals with generating any kind of understanding is by brute force trial and error (the so called evidence). And is not necesarily the most advanced form of understanding. So you can't trust that kind of process that much really.
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You have to like it. It has to feel important on a personal level.
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Overall, if you enjoy it even a little, then it is part of who you are, and it is completely valid to pursue it. I can clearly see that, for many people, this genuinely is the right path. That is especially true if part of you enjoys meeting someone very different from yourself, which again varies from person to person. Some nerds would absolutely enjoy being with a woman who is into skiing, because part of their personality genuinely likes being pulled outside their usual bubble. Overall, it's always case by cases. But also some people need to improve their social skills differently, PUA isn't a for everyone solution, it's one "good" strat among manies.
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Women don't think logically about attraction, making themselves easy to fool. Most women are just naive to the kind of tactics men have invented to snare them. Especially young women between 18-30. Women become more savvy with years.
- Today
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Pickup can certainly be corrupting to the mind and persona. It did corrupt me in some ways. But it was still worth it. You gotta do it with some moral standards.
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I think I should just edit the title to make it less bait-like and provocative. If you read the post without taking the title too literally, we basically agree. Overall, there is nothing wrong with learning how to cook if you are a soldier. On the contrary, cooking could help you in certain situations and improve your morale. Instead of eating shitty food, you might make something good that boosts your morale and ultimately makes you a better soldier. There is nothing inherently wrong with doing PUA. What matters in my title is the “for you” part. For most people here, it is probably not what they should primarily be doing. I never said, “Do not socialize, remain awkward, and do nothing to become more interesting because you are fine as you are.” No. Absolutely work on becoming socially skilled. Be funny. Become more attractive even physically/clothing wise if you can. Now, should you sometimes learn something outside your usual field, such as PUA, to become more comfortable in uncomfortable situations? Sure. Getting out of your comfort zone is useful. But that is not the same as saying you should build your entire dating strategy around something fundamentally disconnected from who you are, to some point, doing a lot of different things is good, especially to know that you shouldn't be doing that.
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I would like to second this. Girls are really little different than us, guys get some alien idea about girls. Just go make friends, maybe a healthy form of pick-up like education would just be about getting over social fears, it shouldn't be about dating in my opinion, it's very creepy to me. And girls should do the social fear stuff too.
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Usually online. Search for pickup in your city.
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Pickup teaches you both social skills and romantic escalation. There are plenty of men with a lot of female friends that don't get laid. It's why the friendzone and orbiters are popular terms. I got laid before then just not a girlfriend. My next girlfriend after that I met smoking weed with consistent friend group in my neighbourhood so I guess that's hobbies in common. You just spoke specifically against PUA and I agree that most of the dating coaches in that industry have flaws but it's helped me and many men I know not only sleep with a lot of women but also find relationships so I had to stand against the core premise of your post.
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@LordFall There are plenty of ways to learn how not to be socially awkward, such as simply hanging out with a group of friends that is not exclusively male. The point of my post was basically this: find your own pond, then improve what you already know and what you are capable of doing within it. I never said, “Just be yourself.” I am familiar with that criticism, but I do not think it applies here. I was not being vague. But yes, you should be yourself, meaning the best version of yourself, one that has actively worked on improving itself. I was being clear. Reducing my point to the comic you posted would have been reductive, which my post was not. Also, it is a forum post. I was not writing a book. If you have questions, I am perfectly willing to add more layers and go into greater detail through an interactive exchange. You rather proved my point by talking about the comic con, nothing really worked before that, thank you.
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It is changing slowly but surely. I know a social circle coach that starting doing vitamin IV drip events with models and I've also done a spa village event with cold plunges/saunas. There is also coffee day parties with no alcohol. We are learning and embracing more long term thinking health based habits slowly but surely
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Pickup doesn't aim to change who you are. It aims to give you an actionabe skillset to meet women on your terms. You make some good points but all you fundamentally said is, just be yourself, which is not very helpful advice in any area of life. People learn skills, it doesn't mean they betray their core identity. It CAN mean that but that's an oversimplification. Passions are great, I met my first girlfriend by volunteering at the Comic Con at the city I lived in at the time. I was doing a bunch of cold approach on the local campus at the time and that gave me the charisma and nonchalanec to act cool and not awkward when I met my ex and she liked that and asked me out herself. I don't think I would've gotten her if I was not doing pickup as my natural self is not that extroverted and doesn't know how to naturally talk to people and be social. I think the advice you're giving is reductionist and not that helpful.
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Is not simple, but if you want it bad enough is inevitable.
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(Not for everyone, but definitely for most spiritual nerds here.) The problem with the PUA mindset is that whenever you act against who you really are, it is like swimming in a pond surrounded by frogs that are not even your species. If you are a nerd, I hate to break it to you, but the places you genuinely enjoy are probably where you are most likely to meet the right woman for you. Of course, you still need to expand your social opportunities within those fields. PUA can be useful for random encounters, but nothing lasting will come from it if you are constantly performing. You will not find someone who matches your frequency while acting in places and situations that do not match your own. I knew an intelligent, nerdy guy online who worked in financial consulting. He almost never went outside, yet he dated at least five women simply by talking shit with them online in chat rooms about crazy metascientific ideas and similar topics. So, if you are a nerd, meet women online. Forget the PUA stuff. And to be honest, I have kissed models in bars in Japan and met models in France. Okay, one of them only became a model after I met her. I do not even care that much about conventional beauty, but I assume that many of the people reading this do. I am fairly cute, and I have done plenty of “real-life” social stuff, so it is not as though I need some enormous amount of “game” either. But that lifestyle still feels completely out of step with who I am. I am chill and calm at home 98% of the time, unless I am raving once a month on a load of drugs before returning to my cave. Just be creative. Are you a tech nerd? Meet people through apps or attend events related to your actual interests: science, philosophy, meditation clubs, technology, gaming, or whatever genuinely attracts you. Do not simply approach random women in the street. Even when it works initially, it often fails in the long term for countless reasons. If you meet a woman in a nightclub, there is a relatively high chance that she genuinely enjoys clubbing. If you do not, then you may be beginning the relationship with a major incompatibility already built into it. The problem is not necessarily PUA itself. The problem is using it to become someone who is fundamentally not you. It means acting against your authentic self and attracting women to a version of yourself that you cannot sustain. If your natural lifestyle involves spending eight hours a day on your computer studying quantum physics, and you meet a woman who is obsessed with skiing because you approached her in the street, you may simply end up with someone who does not match you. Of course, if your goal is casual sex and simply getting your dick wet, go ahead. But you are unlikely to find your future wife by acting against your own passions. At best, you may gain a few skill points in street-level social interaction. But that is like learning archery when you are a computer engineer: a cool side skill, perhaps, but not your actual field.
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Nice! I am going to a retro video game convention this weekend. My first time!
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How do you even meet and get a guy to be a wingman? Is it done online or in person?
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You should care about your trauma if you've genuinely got something from your past you can't seem to get over and it keeps impacting your present experience. Otherwise, move on. You should not make it your life mission to perpetually heal your trauma. Organizing your life around trauma-healing is itself actually dysfunctional. But this is what a lot of new age types do. Healing trauma becomes a never-ending lifestyle for them. They become self-deceived that healing trauma is the most important thing and the magic bullet to solve all problems, when it's not. To be honest, I find a lot of this behavior self-indulgent and full of faux self-importance.
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Tomorrow is a badass beach festival. I really need a break from all my shitty university work, this will be cool.
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Also test if you have actual ADHD ADHD meds are a life saver if you are in some sort of rigorous academic program or university
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A little coffee is not bad my dude but everything else is spot on
- Yesterday
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Human Mint replied to Carl-Richard's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Well that's good progress. I wouldn't like that either. You can be your own worst enemy. -
Agree, running on harder surfaces fucks me up a bit. Trail, dirt, open paths much easier. Distances over 10k I refer too, shorter not so bad. These days (being 40yo) I only run max 5k and cycle or swim longer
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Leo Gura replied to Zeroguy's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Do not confuse Awakening with mental illness. If you have mental health issues, please see a therapist. Also, it's possible to have both.
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