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Thanks! I'll definitely check it out.
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Wouldn't that conflict with Einstein's claim that God doesn't play dice.
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You embark on a quest of great importance on behalf of science and the universe itself. What is the perfect number of girlfriends? It's so hard to tell, no man truly has that answer. There are a specific number of atoms in the universe but the perfect number of women to have in your life? Physics can't help us here. Only the boldest will choose to go on this quest! Not for the weak.
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Well that's a different dynamic. That's actually the one I prefer and I have had several girlfriends on board with that. That is the best option in my opinion. You're getting something fresh and she's cool with it. Only certain chick's are cool with that kind of stuff. But they're great. Of course..there is always a risk. You could fall somehow for that third girl. Then what. Heartbreak for your girl. You could incorporate her into your other dynamic. But again what happens when the next girl comes.out to play.
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Ain't no pussy like new pussy
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You can bake that into your relationship and do threesomes with your woman. If you betray your woman though that ruins your chance at true love. It is important to get your needs and desires met though, I will give you that. Self-awareness and knowing what you want and what will make you snap towards unhealthy ways of getting those desires met is important.
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@LordFall The problem with guys is we are always looking for something new. Something fresh. If your goal with two girls is to give you more selection - it will never be enough.
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swing dick like no other, 😂
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I gotcha. Well. If all this is the case, then this is no different than monogamy but just plus one. To me..all this would do is complicate things. And I'll tell you why. It's because you aren't plus one on the guy. Just the women. So it opens up feuds between women on who you love more. Really think it through. For it to be fair you would have to add a guy and then for each woman to have the same love for each guy.and vice versa. Otherwise it is never an even playing field. You talk about me having no experience with polyamory but how much do you? I've been with the one girl who was in an open relationship and we went with different partners and I shared her. Turned out I didn't like it very much. So how would your two women feel sharing you. Why would you need the second girl.
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I read the last sentence of OP’s original post and then re-read the title of the post and it made me laugh when I focused on those only those two sentences
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Cubbage replied to Monster Energy's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
9000% x E=mc⬛️'d -
Someone did find out. You did. I think if you want true love you should never lie to your women. It's like one soul in multiple bodies, it shouldn't lie to itself. Another way to look at it is people holding a chain that keeps them together. If you let it go, it's over. Doesn't matter how long it takes for the relationship to unravel itself after that. That's why dating apps are so important so you can take charge of your dating life and don't feel like random girls throwing themselves at you is very valuable. Polyamory is based on high trust and high communication. So if you want to fuck someone outside of your relationship you have to voice that and let your partner work through the emotions until they give you permission or veto it. If you YOLO it and fuck people left and right it's never gonna work.
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Outstanding. The whole premise rests on everyone engaged being of the same mindset. But that's not realistic. For example..I didn't ask you if yuu encountered a third partner interested in joining the relationship. I asked you if you guys are all out partying one night and she presented herself. Would you do her. And what are the ramifications of that. You would need extreme sexual discipline to do what you are describing. And this type of lifestyle seems contradictory to that. So would you fuck her and bury it perhaps? Or would you hold true. I guess this is more of a character question. But if you already have multiple partners what's the harm if no one finds out?
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Saying a guy is responsible for what he knowingly does to someone isn't a hero complex. It's just pointing out the obvious. If anyone thinks the guy in my story was justified in continuing to use this girl for sex for 2 years, all the while knowing what she wanted, and all the while knowing he was never going to give it to her, you've got some work to do. Or I guess because she didn't have her shit together, that makes her fair game and him the adult.
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Are you saying there's a dynamic with reframing a woman's issues with codependency as something that's the fault of "bad guys"? Well, there's definitely dynamics that need to be worked on for both parties. For a codependent woman, it's important to grow some self-esteem and get better at sorting so that she doesn't end up in unsatisfying dynamics with the "bad guys". And it's also important to understand the difference between how women and men operate when they're wanting a serious relationship. She also needs to learn how to be honest with herself about WHAT she wants instead of settling for whatever because of WHO she wants. And she has to avoid the idea that a support for women's sexual autonomy means the same as 'being able to have sex without getting invested the way men can.' So, there's a lot of learning and un-learning the woman must do to avoid these situations. And it's fully within her power and responsibility to do so. And no amount of telling guys they shouldn't is going to prevent a woman from experiencing this, if she doesn't learn to sort these kinds of guys from consideration. But it's definitely important for men to not kid themselves if the woman they're regularly sleeping with is clearly lying to herself about being okay with being FWB. He also must take responsibility and cut things off if he senses that kind of power imbalance in the dynamic. So, while I'm definitely not saying "The power and responsibility all sit with the men who kid themselves and take advantage." They still have the responsibility to do right by the woman and not to delude themselves into taking advantage of the vulnerabilities that are built into women's sexuality and pair bonding drives... which may run counter to the stories that women tell themselves about how they should or shouldn't feel.
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I'm not describing pedestalizing women or submitting to her in some way. That's also not good. It's more like, during the dating phase, a dynamic where a man is taking the initiative to add to her life and is showing that he values her and is serious about pursuing a relationship with her. But he's not worshipping her... or disrespecting himself to do it, and he has self-respect and boundaries also. He's just consistently showing her that he's invested and doing the legwork to bring the relationship to a deeper and more committed level. And men tend to develop deeper feelings when they are investing in the woman. So, if he's serious about the woman, he's setting most of the dates, and he's the one spear-heading the direction of the relationship. And if he's not being proactive like that... it's purely because he doesn't want to. And no amount of wooing, chasing, and cajoling will get him to want to.
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Codependent fixing gets reframed into saving women from the bad guys.
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In polyamory there is a concept called poly saturation which is the point where a polyamororous relationship reaches its limit with additional partners in terms of the time or emotional bandwidth to manage new relationships. I think if you engage in ethical non monogamy you will naturally hit that point where sleeping with new women causes no net benefit and starts to hinder your relationship even if you have two girlfriends at home that are genuinely okay with you sleeping with new women. The cool thing is that each person and couple has their own polysaturation quota. For monogamous people it's 1 and for some polyamorous people it's 2 partners and for some it's 6 partners. It's beautiful quest to find that out IMO and I have no fucking clue what mine will be. I quite like the idea of a quad and having 3 girlfriends. I came to that idea before I truly embraced my bisexuality though so perhaps I will add 2 boyfriends to that and predict that my ideal polycule will feature 6 people total. Who knows will it hold up or will it be lower or higher? Find out on the next episode of LordFall's love life! Also people don't like talking about this but your material abundance plays a massive role in this. If you are broke and financially stressed then it'll be much harder to handle multiple partners. If you are rich and stressed and working all the time it'll be equally as hard. If you have a fat stack of cash and don't have to work for the rest of your life then I imagine it'll be much easier to focus on your dating life and just build a thriving household with multiple partners. So each person has to account for their financial and career realities and what that looks like for them over the next 30 years. For me I have been obsessed with building multiple streams of income and financial leverage for about 10 years now mostly for that reason but also for my own peace of mind and independence. It's finally starting to bear fruits so in the next few years I should be set to prioritize dating and have my personal finances taken care of. AI is also a blessing for people in terms of work life balance and mastering it is a key to have a truly high quality dating life. I think that's a stage yellow insight that most will miss especially stage green folks that demonize AI.
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It's definitely codependency. But how did you mean that the people on the thread are turning it into a hero complex? That's the part that I didn't understand.
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@Emerald For example, this is textbook codependency.
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I find what you're saying very fascinating because it's power dynamics 101. I think your advice is probably correct for most women. I don't know if this is fully accurate but it's worth exploring deeper. I think what you're describing is close to putting women on a pedestal and submitting to the divine feminine ideal. I think this can work sometimes for men but it can also spectacularly backfire. This is actually quite high level in terms of dating dynamics because I don't think any science that mankind has done so far can conclusively answer this one way or another. The best I can say is that self-awareness and knowing what your wants and needs is very mandatory for a peak dating life. If I was paid to do dating coaching for women I don't think I would deviate from the advice you've given in terms of female POV. In terms of consulting for men though I don't think that being in the chasing dynamic is optimal. You are also correct though that if you are the one being chased it can lead to being indifferent or jaded. So it's a tough nut to crack. It also boils down to what this falling in love means and often times from the male POV it does mean submitting to the woman and being at her mercy so to speak. I will say that I do truly believe this is a weak form of love and there is a more powerful one that can be achieved that benefits both the man and the woman but I will need to test that for myself and report back in a few years instead of speculating. Me and @Inliytened1 were just talking about this in the other thread though. It truly is a fascinating discussion and I think its good to deconstruct love and relationships as much as we can.
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@enchanted Why do you think it will be a couple hundred thousand years rather than about 5 to 10 thousand years?
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