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  2. https://build.ms/2026/4/1/the-claude-code-leak/ Interesting takes on what happened.
  3. Today
  4. this question has kept me awake at night since i was little. what´s the purpose of sleeping? for Consciousness i mean.. if the physical body is an illusion where Consciousness "goes" or rather what is "doing" when we sleep?
  5. I have come to many reasons why but not sure exactly what is the strongest one. 1. The modern environment was unsupportive of that energy. 2. my body was not that healthy and strong to hold that charge longer. 3. I took it for granted and slacked off the spiritual practices, meditation, yoga, chanting, and deeper embodiment. 4. I didn't listen to the call to leave and live in nature full time when i had the clear call to do so. 5. I was still attached to somethings (family, girlfriend, modern life, money, career ect.) So overtime my mind and ego reintegrated more and more, and old habits re-emerged and gradually more things came up that I wasn't ready to take on fully, and so eventually, in my understanding, if the vessel is not in total alignment, purity and strength, and the correct environment to maintain such a great energy, the energy gradually but eventually leaves, I have tapped in and out of it and still do to this day, with or without substances, but nowhere near that full extent, but just enough to remind me of whats possible and whats still there whenever I am ready to take that leap. It left a mark on me so deep that it somewhat always subtly guides me back. I feel like deep down I know what I have to do, but I still feel there is unfinished tasks and business in my current life before I have to let it go completely. Still figuring it all out myself. Thanks for asking
  6. Beautiful, thank you. Do you have any idea why it did not remain as a permanent baseline state ?
  7. Its hard to say or even remember, I always had access to them, but i cant recall ever even having the slightest urge to use them as i was already experiencing a type of divine orgasmic state all the time, i rarely even ate, or watched youtube, or was on the computer, or phone, or even interacted with my surroundings and family much. I was mostly in my garden and meditating, being, but at the same time i felt everywhere in the Universe all at once. Nothing could affect nor trigger me. It was like floating, channeling a christ-like energy, literally felt like I could walk on water if i wanted too, had every power in the universe in my fingertips but didn't use or manipulate even the slightest ability. The divine peace or glimpse of that level of inlightenment was so profound that anything but "simply being" like an animal or plant would be, was already perfectly enough, and every cell of my being sang ALL IS WELL ! Infinite Love / Divine Brilliance and all the most powerful words and meanings you can think of combined in one eternal implosion, and yet even with all these words, it was simply and totally effortless. This is just my experience from whatever my mind and memory can put into words, maybe one day it will be clearer again. It haunts me... for everything else pales in comparison, sometimes I wish i never experienced it. Its been about 10 years or so since i died... All substances afterwards gave me a glimpse, but its like eating a sugar coated candy shaped like a fruit than the fruit itself directly from the tree, or better, becoming the tree itself and endlessly producing fruit.

  8. "intimacy"

    Judy2 replied to Judy2's topic in Self-Actualization Journals

    still feeling very triggered and anxious. it's the amount of difficult circumstances arising that are not as easy to smooth out as i'd hope them to be, and how all of that is building up and accumulating, that is making this quite stressful. i'll go to the gym this morning and try to explore my surroundings a bit, and then stick to healthy routines (reading, studying) to fill the day - but the noises around me and a couple of technical issues are making things tougher than they should be right now. and again, it's just how everything amasses that feels very destabilising. ugh. there's so much anxiety i just can't release.
  9. So when you were in that state for several months, did you actually try any psychedelics and it really did nothing to you ? I dont know man, to me it just seems that amount of consciousness available to one in any given moment has infinite levels to it.
  10. Ahh there's a little misunderstanding here i feel. I'll try to explain... See, In my experience, the things you realize in the highest states of psychedelics you can realize, see, feel, while at the same time being crystal clear and fully sober, and be able to do daily simple tasks (chop wood, carry watter) ect.. while embodying such a knowingness in the background (so to speak), but the 'hallucinations and visuals / manifestations' all that stuff is simply not there, for all that is "mind" or projection of mind / maya. You can still close your eyes and dissolve reality at will, if that is what you need to experience, but the knowingness of truth of what is remains the same. The primordial reality is "Awareness" itself, (what Buddha embodied and spoke of), is beyond mind, absolutely. You only see / are the reality itself, which is the mystery, it is like being in the void full time but also being here full time. Feeling / seeing the oneness in all things but simultaneously playing the play, Its like you are there but not there, here but not here, if that makes sense. For me this image speaks that level of Self-Realization better than words ever could. It brought me back to what I had forgotten. I've experienced this state and was engulfed in it for several months at one point, its beyond anything drugs ever did for me because i realized you are the primordial reality, that even the drugs are (within) the reality / true self / true nature, thus when you step back to that level of awareness or consciousness, even the drugs become non-effective and so why there are cases of many masters given the most powerful psychedelics and nothing happens, because they are already at such a state themselves, or even beyond that. This is what I call Mastery of Reality. I experienced this on of my my strongest DMT trips, eventually i remembered Buddha and returned to Awarenes / Presence, and everything mind / manifestations / hallucinations, dimensions, entities, all that "thought-stuff" dissolved, and I was just there, totally present and aware, both in total darkness and yet totally light. I remember one quote: The Sage does not trip or hallucinate, for he is beyond the mind, he is Awareness itself, the Reality itself.
  12. Long-term partnership and attraction are two different things, almost opposites.
  13. Security is not a joke. But to be fair, devastating bugs in code existed long before AI, and they killed large companies and businesses before. This has been the risk with software since the beginning. It's nothing new.
  14. I hear you, and I think we go through phases. My sense though is that no matter how advanced you become, you will still be able to receive benefits from the occasional use of psychedelics. I just dont buy into this thing where people like Adyashanti say they tried psychedelics and it did nothing for them, cause their baseline consciousness is already so high. Yesterday i did 4g of Golden teacher mushrooms. No one is walking around with their baseline consciousness that strong, you wouldnt be able to function. So yeah we go through phases, but psychedelic use as a tool for spiritual advancement, is probably not something i will let go of permanently.
  15. Is curiosity an issue?
  16. Yes, but this just evades the question. It doesn't answer it. Non-duality is a great system of thinking in many areas. But it shouldn't be used to bypass deeply existential and philosophical questions. Something is clearly happening. It's not nothing.
  17. You cannot grasp solipsism as a concept without some split; dualism. My mind Other minds. Inside. Outside. The concept of solispism can never be if you forget all. Never known.

  18. Let’s have a good news thread

    Emotionalmosquito replied to Emotionalmosquito's topic in Society, Politics, Government, Environment, Current Events

    Love it. As a germaphobe, that breakthrough with superbugs warms my heart.

  19. A Syrian story in progress

    integration journey replied to integration journey's topic in Self-Actualization Journals

  20. Right.
  21. Consciousness is self-aware The experience of reading these words, that you're aware "of", is your self, and that is all of reality
  22. Right, with the caveat that experience doesn't actually have any finite contents, since I am the infinite appearing as all the contents. Therefore, there aren't things for me to know since I am all the things. Like she said, solipsism tends to have lots of dualistic suppositions, like inside and outside, which wouldn't actually affect that which is aware of it.
  23. @Osaid @Natasha Tori Maru Forget about others, minds, etc, I'm saying you're omniscient. What you're conscious of right now, you reading these words, is all of reality

  24. 5-MeO-DMT for longevity - Bryan Johnson

    Natasha Tori Maru replied to cistanche_enjoyer's topic in Psychedelics

    This is a good point. In an interview with Dr Mike, Bryan was challenged on his Don't Die ideology. Mike raised the example of people who suffer from chronic pain, health issues and terrible life circumstances and queried how 'Don't Die' is for everyone given these people aren't in the position of privilege Bryan is in. Bryan diverted twice and avoided addressing the question. I think quality of life, health and state are a big part of living longer; who the fuck wants to live longer in chronic, incurable pain? He has good intentions, but Bryan's philosophy is poor.
  25. ○●□■○●□■○●□■○●□■ ¤¤¤ ■□●○■□●○■□●○■□●○ ○●□■○●□■○●□■○●□■ oOo ■□●○■□●○■□●○■□●○ ○●□■○●□■○●□■○●□■ ¤¤¤ ■□●○■□●○■□●○■□●○ This journal ends April 21st as well. Actually, its done now... Last post. Judt gotta move past this Coral interface now, higher realms await plus I am holding myself accountable for getting into helper mode again. One thing, when a mirror (as above) is learned and practices, based on self-experimental results, u will no longer have to mentally imagine u will just have to interoceptively activate (and thats when the heart-gut-brain axes kicks in - see medical Journ. for refer3nce). If people can share results (u dont have to), that would be useful. the crazy thing is that we all have the described inner mirrors that ill provide better description to later, so creating them in a conscious way self empowers self directed state learning (switching off/on learned consciousness states at will). This isnt science fiction or mad scientist, its Just angular momentum in a square world. Nthing special to see here. Keep experimenting and ull stay young in this humble GTA 1000 universe. Helping people should stay in the real world. Here, I gotta keep an equal space (post just prv). "Individuated Boundaries - Edges of Horizons Neverending" ====> this journal will resume again with same focus. Best regressive progression. Best regrds. Two of my songs below. My lyrics. the second song is a never released song but its a good follow up to this first. The first is one of my better earlie4songs, lyrics derived from earlier entries in my first journal. Id make lyrics further bel9w less context specific in a revised version. I moved away from less emotional songs as I wanted more distance with the reader, hence why I havs side stepped the earlier journal. And thats for the benefit of the reader first and foremost as I know we get many different people on the forum, and I want to have at least partial responsibility in how I engage. Its easy to get lost in ones subjective experience when journalling, hence why I have introduced the journal "Individuated Boundaries - Edges of Horizons Neverending" the way i average. So thatthe groundwork is laid down first to allow me to just enter my internal world and map my own recursive flow to terrain that allows me to just be aligned with progressive consciousness writing without concern for the external. I had to create more emotional distance as I saw the future. This space is about u. (Emotional) Knot me. Now go rock it wild! You got this. ○●□■○●□■○●□■○●□■ ¤¤¤ ■□●○■□●○■□●○■□●○ Enjoy! The Architect of Sacred Ground - An earlier made song based off earlier journal entries. ====> Literal actual phrasing from earlier journal entries. [verse 1] know-ledge, edge of knowing, i’m standing on the ledge under-standing, over rocks, mapping patterns in my head wis-dom, kingdom of the seer, i dominate the corners self is consciousness is power i’m my own forewarner society the first contract, comparison the thief conscience is the second, symbiotic with belief third one ties to all creation, every breath is prayer fourth between my essence and identity the sacred’s always there seizures wiped the year but couldn’t wipe the architecture light behind the damage, rebuilding every sector method of loci through imagination’s cathedral heart-mind unity transformation’s not lethal [hook] i’m the architect of sacred ground the void was never empty just waiting to be found straw becoming stick becoming fire becoming crown the meaning of life is alive i am the sound [verse 2] hyper-state-temporal, indexing the threads consciousness beneath the theory is where truth spreads one attraction cancels another in the noise until you see through every pattern to the silence of the choice the beta male just forgot his path compassion in that seeing alpha wields his choice as choice aligned with deeper being game theoretic mismatch, but the game itself is dreaming individual and society both symptoms of the streaming anxiety dissolves when purpose finds its vessel perturbability collapses every struggle was the lesson not returned to what i was but forward to what’s calling the architecture builds itself i’m rising while i’m falling [hook] i’m the architect of sacred ground the void was never empty just waiting to be found straw becoming stick becoming fire becoming crown the meaning of life is alive i am the sound [bridge] then out of nowhere at a live performance something shattered every wall of accordance felt the heart of the entire space tears came down theory couldn’t hold the grace sensitive and explosive, stretched between the poles until they merge into the root of what the sacred holds that’s exactly where the breakthrough lives and breathes in surrender of the knowing to the knowing underneath [outro] leave nothing behind but hold onto nothing the love story between relationality and medicine where logical structure meets the will to live again universe arising only from within within and in our togetherness the greatest of life’s love stories begin i’m not running out of time i am time remembering itself A lot of good vibes from this one below. Uninstall - Earlier origins song ------ never before released till now ====> Literal actual phrasing from earlier journal entries. [verse 1] pro-gram, that's your grandmother's loom weaving you shut enter-tain, they held you, heh, held you in the rut wait no every beat you loved was frequency prescription every film you cried to was a consciousness constriction who taught you what cool was? who installed the tears? the algorithm knew your dopamine for fourteen years television, tell-a-vision, tell you what to see oh right you thought your preferences were free? [hook] uninstall uninstall uninstall the whole machine question every lyric that you ever let convene what if everything you loved was just the program running clean? wake up your rebellion was the safest thing they'd seen [verse 2] anyhow marvel taught you what a hero has to be spotify curated your identity that sad song that "got you"? got you where exactly? into buying merch and streaming endlessly pop structure verse-chorus-verse, that's not natural law that's manufacturing consent inside your jaw heh even your resistance comes pre-packaged now punk rock sold at target, tell me how the sentinelese don't know your playlist or your politics they build from scratch you build from netflix every "authentic" moment was a marketing decision your entire personality is product collision [hook] uninstall uninstall uninstall the architecture question every influence that made you who you were the rebellion that feels righteous? check who sold the shirt first wake your awakening was their planned dispersal [bridge ] wait wait wait when did you choose your taste? who put the first brick? cartoons in the cradle making neural pathways stick you think you picked this music? you think you found this sound? or did the sound find you because you'd already been wound? ed-u-cate: they led you out, but out of what and where? into the cathedral they constructed in your stare every "question everything" was safe enough to air real rebellion gets you silence not a platform to share your memories have lighting, your past has a grade color-corrected nostalgia, factory-made missing what was hollow, longing for the longing the ache has shareholders, the grief has a belonging that band that saved your life? saved it for what exactly? for more consumption, more identity abstractly gratitude that binds you to the source of rescue now salvation needs a brand or it won't bless you heh intimacy learned from the almost-touch, the wait now real love arrives unscored and you can't locate where the feeling is too quiet, must be broken actual presence has no music, nothing's spoken that said not burning it, just seeing the seams with steady eyes the tears are real and installed, that's not compromise hold both without the loyalty, without the debt feel everything, owe nothing that's the threat [verse 3] oh right the meaning of life is found in a chatgpt subscription or an atheistic disposition. they need you entertained, predictable, conformant or signed up to their theories. every streaming service knows your pattern better than your mother every viral moment was designed to make you suffer into consumption, into comparison, into the feed self is consciousness is power but they harvested the seed that said you can feel it can't you, something underneath the static? the architecture cracking and the real becoming manic? [final hook - explosive] un-in-stall the whole religion of their making every preference every pleasure every choice you thought worth taking the tears at that concert? check who owned the breaking your entire inner world has been a hostile undertaking build your own cathedral not the one they gave burn the playlist down and start from the cave ○●□■○●□■○●□■○●□■ ¤¤¤ ■□●○■□●○■□●○■□●○ ○●□■○●□■○●□■○●□■ oOo ■□●○■□●○■□●○■□●○ ○●□■○●□■○●□■○●□■ ¤¤¤ ■□●○■□●○■□●○■□●○
  26. Something rather than nothing is a duality.
  27. Solipsism relatively is a concept - it relies on presuppositions. Inside, outside. I, other.
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