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- Past hour
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Fuck your ex, your ego, and your hearsay.
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I'm feeling really destabilized at the moment . I experience periods of deep peace followed by crashes, and my ocd is nagging me to do more kriya even though I told myself I was taking a break to integrate. No more kriya right now, period . Not until these ups and downs settle.
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Devilry is going down when I come around
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Someone here replied to Hojo's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Totally agree . Also ..give yourself the love .don't expect true love from others . -
feel into the different facets of your love formless expression shifting thru infinity’s mind
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The glitching is probably good for most people here. Go play outside.
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Someone here replied to Someone here's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
This argument is 100% correct ..coherent..and consistent with itself logically. However..I'm NOT contemplating solipsism logically. I'm contemplating directly by testing it against direct experience. Not logic . Logic is second order reality .direct experience can never be wrong. -
@Leo Gura I notice that even when I enable to be notified of replies, I am not getting any notifications. Why is that?
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You rock and your hits slap 🎸 Give love, even to the hardest parts of yourself.
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How easy it is to lose touch with the fragility of it all...
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Sometimes the feedback is correct but the tact isn't. I've asked myself: why care what a person across the internet thinks or gets wrong? 100% it's mostly entertainment + ego. In the grand scheme, it makes no fuck. But I'll forget about the grand scheme sometime within the next few days. Integration is continuous but slow.
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Sites running really slow for me continually, it’s saps a lot of minutes in a very busy schedule. Family emergency right now as well. Reprioritisation. Will drop #3. Meaning next wk and hopefully speeds good then too. Keep your closest truths… close. Sometimes they need us to know we still care. Stay strong.
- Today
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Ego has infinite survival mechanisms, all of which are finite.
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First trip ever. Went with 2 grams of Golden Teacher. I've read that it's a medium dose, and I expected mild effects, which I realized was arrogant of me going into the trip. I had some trips intentions going into it, particularly around resolving some issues in my life and better understand how my mind works at a subconscious level. I was trying to be more happy and positive and appreciate of things as they are. Initially, the trip seemed mild. I had some lights hallucinations - like seeing how colors are perceived differently. As I tried writing down and making sense of the experience, I started seeing myself from a different perspective. It was like I was observing someone else writing down things, but it wasn't really me. I saw my hand transform - and it reminded me of Harry Potter. Likely because I've been rewatching the movies in the days prior to the trip - it got stuck inside of me. I started imagining a whole bunch of flying creatures like in the movies too. I started wondering - if I am viewing myself from a third-person perspective - what is real? And I started wondering about existential questions - if I am not real, why am I here? Why did I choose to be in this life, in this moment? I then got a first-person experience of reality where I realized that reality does not exist obectively. Instead, reality only exists if I imagine it to be so. I then recognized that life is game. And I appreciated that it's beautiful, and I also really appreciated how stable life is - the simplicity of life. The experience was so chaotic and everything was shifting so quickly - simplicity seemed nice. I continued wondering about life - and I asked myself, why can't I go and shift into life as another person and then come back? The response I got is that it's just not how this works. Though I didn't fully understand how it actually works. I tried shifting back into the practical things I was trying to focus on for my trip - but instead, I got much deeper on the existential level. I felt that this reality exists because I want to be the person I am. Because it's interesting to be the character I am. There is an associated a "main character" energy to it. Then I started thinking about whether I imagined everything there is in life. It seemed true to me. I was imagining two states of reality. One where you "remember" that you are God, and one where you "forget". I realize that very soon the experience will end, and I felt like I need to milk the relevant insights from the experience. Then, a deep part of the experience started, around an hour an half in. At this point, I was no longer myself. I started having deep hallucinations. I was very confused on what is real and what is not. I hallucinated my pen completely breaking. And I believe I've spent above an hour trying to find a new pen, so that I could record my thoughts from this experience. Anytime I went for the search for the pen, I was instead pulled into something else that caught my attention. I also started laughing a lot and made some internal jokes about the pen. At some point I came back and concluded that God is that I imagined myself and then forgot. I started imagining how spiral dynamics and even the vocubulary I am using to write was created by me at some point. Most deeply - I profoundly realized that everything is just imaginery. This was A LOT more than I expected to reflect over in this session. And it has opened my mind to really contemplate some of the things Leo is saying not just as concepts, but as a first-hand, real experiences. The scary part for me was not necessirly the experience itself, but coming back to reality, and realizing what I have experienced. Now - it seems crazy. How do I get back to ordinary life, with people that I can't really talk about these things with, and continue living? How do I become happy, when I know it's an illusion. And if I choose to take distance from those people I love in my life - what am I going towards exactly? A deep deconstruction of all of reality and everything I know of it? I am not sure of the next steps. So I appreciate any guidance and advice.
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Yimpa replied to theleelajoker's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
The drama ends when the ego bends. -
Spending time in a Dark Place. I love it here :)) Now we have moved to a Neon Place. Chill vibez. Music so powerful, I had to take a breather.
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kavaris replied to James123's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
i still like T'woh-nes As its that which has our attention , Like u might think i mean "attentiveness", but its a little different, as when you are attentive, theres a sortve *floating aer- And you have the option to change the flow of~Or follow attentiveness *with, or to think of it in terms of like say "Not-Attentive to" (in the next phase), or maybe "day dreaming... like the epitome of ^^^^ " But in the case of t'wohnes, you are locked into *That which draws your attention. Like, in other words it speaks to something as a constant in our lives, and those constants are hints at whats goin on—Almost like realizing "the hard rules of perception or psychology" (the deeply felt, and hard rules that hit you on lsd, is wat i meant to evoke. i guess it was more difficult to describe than i thought) -
Maya He! Maya Whoo?
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Natasha Tori Maru replied to theleelajoker's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
I know the feeling. I don't have the answer. This sentiment you speak of - I feel swamped by it when I am around people who take themselves SO SERIOUSLY. We create these personas to slap over our eyes - we create little egos to survive - all because of fear. Fear is the ultimate deception. All division comes from it - it is the opposite of loving unity behind it all. But that fear is more real to people than love. That's where I see most getting caught. Acceptance and judgement. Most bullshit comes from this axis. They cannot even see their 'self' is different from one year to the next. That it is not fixed. But they act like it is... Hell. I am not even vaguely the same self I was 6 months ago! We fail from the start because we believe in separation. -
Yimpa replied to James123's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Love Moo’s You. Meow, free biscuits for all! -
kavaris replied to Ramasta9's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Hey, think of it as~Its all an experiment, right? So its all jus throwin things at the wall to see wat sticks. And we came out of a psychedelic era, or watever the 60s/70s would be~Then we had 80s to 2000s, whatever that was. And then we get to where we are at now, where its like "How do u differentiate yourself in {insert whatever year actualized dot org started}"and so, if we take actualized (the process/action) as a type of inclination of what it *is to be, then we sortve get the next obvious thing, which is where we are sortve like, in mid-conversation about god realization. And it makes it seem like it started there now. Though i myself am always writing about it from the perspective of Beingness first. I cant speak to others, if others are doing the same, but i can say, for myself, God realization is more of like an advanced lvl, or layer upon the more simpler layers that are antecedant (to me, that is—As i view it all as having a very distinct order to these things, but thats jus me maybe, iuno) (Or maybe not an order, but like, a distinct *sequence that we follow, that we later reorder to better suite the new download of things, nd things like this) -
They are called Automatons.
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I think we should keep discussions like this around content and not competence. We cannot keep approaching topics as if things are self-evident. Assuming error without demonstration or that discernment is simple or objective. Lines of questioning or statements that place us in an elevated positioning of 'knowing which is which', or positioning ourselves as the 'competent discerner' are sly egoic manipulations of status. Goes for everyone on this forum. I have seen Leo do this. I am guilty of this. It goes against open inquiry. Against truth. Integrity. And above all, steers away from unity. We should be attempting to breach the barriers between us all. Barriers that are illusory. This is the only way to truly understand what we are each speaking about. Anything else is ego. Unity, infinity. The collapse of all distinction. Love 🤍
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This?
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But seriously, Leo seems to have fallen into a trap he once pointed out himself — starting too many projects at once. And when he said he's done making promises, which in itself is a promise of sorts, several promises have been made and also not delivered since then. Maybe a rewatch of "How to get shit done" is in order, where Leo says that talk is cheap — first go do it then come talk about it. I understand there's a business to run, so some hype/marketing has to be generated, but when nothing ends up delivered it's a bad look; not announcing anything at all would've been preferable. "Corruption of Actualized.org" would be an interesting meta-addition. There's endless examples of the abyss between the teachings and how 99% of users apply them. Plus more of Leo's own corruption; the personal exposé in Psychology of Being Wrong was a good start, but not enough. Where's the list of all the evil stuff? Wrong and evil are somewhat different. When I was the only one to post that list publicly it got deleted, probably for being too explicit. But if we profess to care about truth so much, that goes against the spirit of the work. Drag all the filth out, no matter how painful; that's the best way to combat corruption. Though at a certain point, it's understood that corruption is an absolute metaphysical necessity, and giving up or continuing to fight after that realization are both corruption in their own unique ways. But even if Leo doesn't deliver, there's always DIY contemplation & learning to test how much you truly understand the other lessons.
