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It takes me a few months on average to develop feelings for a guy that are strong enough for me to want to do anything about them. And it's uncommon that these feelings arise. So, when I was single, I really didn't respond well to simply being approached out in public and jumping immediately into some romantic/sexual segue. It just pops the bubble right away and takes away any kind of tension straight away. The only exception was when I was 20 and very alone in the world and dealing with a recent eviction and traumatic break-up, as I wanted to be alone and single... and I thought I could just choose to forego my community needs. But my survival drives put me in a space where I couldn't say no to company when approached. But the most romantically and sexually satisfying dynamic is more of an acquaintances/friends to lovers dynamic, as that has a lot more meaning. And it tended to involve an element of mystery, like... "Does he feel the same for me as I feel for him?' Without that few month fermentation process, it takes all the tension and spiciness out of the dynamic... as I just can't feel that excited about a guy that I just met, regardless of who he is. So, what would probably work best for me is that, I meet a guy at an event that reflects mutual interests. And we begin talking on a purely platonic level, and he becomes someone that I chat with and correspond with platonically over a long period of time. This is especially strong if we exist in the same 2nd or 3rd spaces and see each other frequently. Then, at some point during that time, I either start having feelings for him or I don't. And if I do, the feelings are 10/10 strong... which are strong enough for me to want to do something about them. But if there's some guy that's super attractive and has the best game in the world, but I just met him... it's a max of a 5/10 attraction. And that's just not exciting enough for me to be interested in it. The intense amorous emotions have to be there... which takes time interacting platonically.
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Okay, I am curious to the woman's opinion on this. @Natasha Tori Maru@Emerald and the other woman: how would you like to be approached by a men on lets say the street or in a mall? What would he say, do, not do? etc.
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Tarot is conformity
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Passive aggressive interpersonal relation style.
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Yes. You have more time to think it through. You are still in the student stage of life.
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PolyPeter replied to PolyPeter's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
100% agree on this and also notice how even though a human can have glimpses and know directly what God is, it doesn't override an entire way of being, habits require new behavior in order for other habits to take place, and it is "orthogonal" work to Consciousness work in a certain way -
@Joseph Maynor I am planning on continuing my studies in university in Italian literature, a field I am passionate about.
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You could or you are?
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@Joseph Maynor I am not just talking about starting a business. You could become also a scholar but in a field you're passionate about. But it also applies to starting a business. Passion is core, otherwise it doesn't make sense to do the business to begin with. Most people aren't in such desperate situations that they need money at all costs; it's more of a cultural thing that we have given such importance to money instead of what truly matters which is love, passion, happiness, and fulfillment.
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Grateful Dead replied to VeganAwake's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
This is where our frameworks differ fundamentally. You argue that because the formless cannot be perceived, it does not exist on it's own. It is true that the formless cannot be perceived as an object, because it can only be known by being it. In that timeless moment, perception ceases completely, leaving only boundless reality aware of it's own existence. Yeah that's right imo. From my perspective, time, space, and form are not manifestations of Being, but constructs of perception. The fact that formless Being cannot be perceived just means that it completely transcends perception. -
@felixk_priv Go to places that are packed with girls like night clubs. I did like 15 approaches two days ago at the club, it was amazing. You just got to approach and bust through your approach anxiety. Often times we think that something terrible is going to happen if we approach, however when we approach, we realize nothing terrible happened, so here's how you do it. Also, if you don't feel comfortable approaching a girl directly, you can warm up by asking stupid contextual questions like "until when does the party goes on?" or "how is your night going?" or whatever...
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There were many warning signs. When I was still living at my father's apartment, about four to six months after coming out of Hell, I decided to try a dose of marijuana oil as a "lightweight" experiment, hoping it would be a gentle way to ease myself back into the psychedelic experience. Instead, I ended up having a full-blown psychedelic experience, especially on a psychosomatic level. At first, I was feeling pleasant sensations. I was listening to a Russian shamanic song with women singing and playing a drum, and I felt as though I was sitting in a ceremony with those women. I experienced that strange, familiar sensation that everything was being Divinely orchestrated just for me. Then suddenly, I had a flashback to my Ayahuasca ceremony in Idyllwild, where I had faced my greatest fear. It felt as though I was about to enter that terror loop again. Before anything could happen, I opened my eyes and was able to snap myself out of it, although I still experienced a powerful pang of fear as I did. But when I opened my eyes, I felt like I was right back inside the Hell dimension. Almost immediately, I started having thoughts about going to the grocery store to buy alcohol and cigarettes. I was back in a state of separation. After struggling with the fear for a while, I eventually calmed myself down and reminded myself that I would return to my normal state once the effects of the marijuana wore off. Luckily, I was right. The experience passed, and I returned to myself. I never experimented with marijuana oil again. After some time, I was able to obtain magic mushrooms because I wanted to microdose and eventually build up the confidence and courage to work with higher doses. Something strange happened even before I took my first microdose, which was about 0.10 grams. I began feeling as though I had already taken the mushrooms. I could feel myself becoming more connected, the life force awakening within me and a subtle expansion of consciousness. They were all familiar signs of being on a microdose or light dose of a psychedelic. From that point on, I began microdosing magic mushrooms almost every day, usually together with a cup of cacao. I experienced very positive effects. They gave me energy, made me feel more alive and connected, opened my creative flow and made me feel physically stronger. I enjoyed the effects while writing poetry, singing icaros and medicine songs, practicing conscious movement in the parks, swimming in the ocean, attending kirtans and song circles, and contemplating and integrating everything that had happened during my journey. My first ceremony with magic mushrooms, which I believe was about 1.5 grams, took place at a private house in La Mesa, California, with two young women named Kaitlyn and Maheena, whom I would later call "Vladi's angels," and their friend Adam. The ceremony cost $555. Both women were on a medicine path. Kaitlyn was a breathwork facilitator who worked at a yoga studio and openly talked about magic mushroom ceremonies in her yoga classes. Maheena was a young woman of extraordinary beauty with an equally beautiful voice. I couldn't help feeling what I called the "love tickles" around her, and I began fantasizing and contemplating the possibility of a romantic relationship with her. With time, however, I learned to let that possibility go. I was moving toward what I understood as a position of power, where I could embody the Truth I knew, and I felt that I needed to keep moving. A relationship would introduce an entirely new set of challenges and complexities into my path. I wanted to remain independent and free from the power games that can become part of romantic relationships, especially when both people are walking a spiritual path. I had already learned that lesson in the hardest way possible. I also wanted to remain loyal to Victoria, knowing that she was my True Love, although I wasn't completely closed off to the possibility of another romantic relationship if circumstances ever felt truly aligned. That first mushroom ceremony was amazing. It felt like a celebration of life, a homecoming and a return to the medicine and ceremonies. At one point, a song came spontaneously to all of us: "We are hey ya, hey ya, home!" During the ceremony, I saw a vision of the Divine Mother Wolf, similar to the artwork of the wolf's face with different colors that was on the shirt I wore most of the time and still wear to this day. Adam and Maheena also sang an Ayahuasca song during the ceremony, and I felt deeply connected with the spirit of Madrecita. I cried tears of gratitude and overwhelming joy at being reunited with the medicine in such a beautiful way. The next medicine ceremony was a mushroom ceremony for the Spring Equinox at Dragon's Nest, facilitated by Melissa June, who lived there. Some time before that ceremony I have come to Dragon's Nest for another event called "Conscious Relating." I came with an Indian man named Bobby, a doctor who was also on a path with sacred plants. I had nicknamed him "Señor Octopus" because of his remarkable ability to have his "tentacles" reach everywhere when it came to making connections with people. When Bobby and I were at that event, I approached the place where I had seen the painting of a "dark angel holding up a man" when I first came to Dragon's Nest during my Hell state. This time, however, I saw Jesus holding up the same man. I asked Melissa where the other painting had gone. She told me that this was the only painting they had ever had and that it had never been changed. I was shocked. I even found an old message and showed it to Melissa that I had sent to Spirit, another woman who had facilitated the ceremony when I first came to Dragon's Nest. In that message, I had asked her what the name of the artist was and where I could find the painting of the "angel of darkness holding a man." The cost of the ceremony was $444, a number I had come to associate with angels on my path. I asked for 3.33 grams of mushrooms. We also drank cacao without any sweeteners, which made it extremely bitter. The medicine opened up very powerfully and deeply. At one point, I found myself caught in a negative thought loop and was trying to find my center. When I came back from the bathroom, I noticed that Melissa's chair was empty, the chair where she had been sitting in her facilitator's position. Something inside me told me to sit there. I felt like the boss, the person who should be facilitating and leading the ceremony. It took considerable effort for them to get me to leave the chair and return to my own place. When I finally returned to my spot, I sat with my back facing everyone else so that I could look directly at my wolf shirt, which I had hung over my meditation chair before the ceremony began. As I stared at the image of the wolf's head looking back at me, I was suddenly able to concentrate. I felt the negative thoughts being cleansed and purified from my mind. I began experiencing the fear from my previous Ayahuasca ceremonies again, but this time I was laughing ecstatically. I felt as though I was alchemizing the fear into joy because the Mother Wolf was with me. I felt like I was literally looking at a sanctuary. At one point, I could hear a young woman experiencing what seemed to be ecstatic joy alongside me. I was laughing with what felt like the most genuine laughter in the world, experiencing the purification of previously accumulated fear through the ecstasy of love and laughter. After the ceremony, this same young woman approached me. She brought me strawberries, gave me a hug and kissed me on the cheek. She told me how amazing the ceremony had been for her and said, "I am such a gift." Throughout the ceremony, I had been doing everything I could to concentrate on the Mother Wolf portal, using it as a focal point through which I could alchemize my deepest fear into love and embody the power I felt awakening within me. But Melissa and her helpers repeatedly told me that I was being too intense and too loud. They kept asking me to dial down my intensity because my energy was too much for some of the other people in the ceremony. From my perspective at the time, Melissa wasn't communicating this in a sufficiently gentle or loving way. It felt more like a demand than an invitation. I interpreted her reaction as fear of my power. Whatever the reason, the repeated interruptions made it extremely difficult for me to remain focused on what I experienced as one of the most sacred processes of my life: alchemizing darkness into light. The conflict continued for about an hour until the ceremony ended. I was deeply upset by the way Melissa had handled the situation, so I asked for a refund. She gave me back the full $444. The next ceremony with magic mushrooms was something I decided to do as a gift to myself for my fortieth birthday. It was again with Kaitlyn and Maheena, my "Vladi's angels," at a private house somewhere in the serene California desert. They charged me $888 for the ceremony. I mention the amounts because people on spiritual paths often associate repeating three-digit numbers with angel numbers and attach spiritual or numerological meaning to them. I had not studied numerology particularly deeply myself, but I had read that numerology was one of the most powerful languages of the Universe, and I believed it. So even though these ceremonies were expensive, I viewed them as investments in my ability to embody the Truth I knew. Not much happened during that ceremony. Maheena was sick, and instead of singing, they mostly played a music playlist. At one point, I was asked to share a song, so I sang one of my icaro songs dedicated to Dana, the Slavic Goddess of Water. I didn't yet have much experience singing in front of other people, and afterward I felt that the song hadn't come out very well. The last medicine ceremony I would have in San Diego was with an organization called Munay, facilitated by a singer and musician named Lisa "Little Bird" and her helper Larisa. The same pattern that had happened with Melissa happened again. I felt an ecstatic liberation of my power and a profound opening of my repressed voice, while the facilitators repeatedly tried to make me quieter. They were not going to allow me to drink the medicine on the second night, but I had brought my friend Samson with me. Samson could outtalk almost anybody, so I had brought him partly as a precaution in case something like this happened. He spoke on my behalf, and eventually they agreed to let me drink the medicine. During the ceremony, I experienced many colorful visions. At one point, however, I saw what felt like an intrusive visual presence. It appeared dark brown, and as it flowed into the colorful visions, it seemed to obscure them. When I returned home after the two Ayahuasca ceremonies with Munay, I closed my eyes and tried to go to sleep. Almost immediately, I began seeing hellish visions similar to those I had experienced during my original state of Hell. I turned the light back on. As I contemplated what was happening, I became afraid that I was back in Hell and that I would not be able to sleep again. I went outside and smoked a cigarette of Mapacho, setting the intention that it would purify me of the negative energy and disturbing visions. Eventually, the distorted visions disappeared and I was able to sleep normally. I had a conversation with Lisa "little bird" before I left to Peru, I told her that I was planning on going back to Peru to work with Ayahuasca, and I also shared that I have spent about 18 months in a very dark state during which I have suffered tremendously. She told me to - make sure the person who I'm going to be working with knows my history, she told me - there is a possibility of the old trauma resurfacing.
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Over-analysis of basic things. Getting too much in your head about things where that runs tangential to the subject area.
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hundreth replied to Husseinisdoingfine's topic in Society, Politics, Government, Environment, Current Events
What a piece of shit this guy is.... -
SpongeBob
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Breakingthewall replied to VeganAwake's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
It's the fact of knowing that you are. It's real, because you are, so the self is the fact of being self conscious of being, and being as an human form, what is absolutely real. Those masters would say: it's an illusion, nobody is knowing that nobody is nothing. Well, nice, but why that mess when reality is very simple? The process that is happening and that we call human is self conscious of itself. Period. -
So, two people with the same range of models and cognition can differ in their orientation to them. For example, person A could care about efficiency and utility and thus want to discard more, and person B could care about exploration and want to collect more. You're smuggling in a value judgement.
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Nivsch replied to Husseinisdoingfine's topic in Society, Politics, Government, Environment, Current Events
@Husseinisdoingfine I meant to the page's post. -
Husseinisdoingfine replied to Husseinisdoingfine's topic in Society, Politics, Government, Environment, Current Events
I don't speak Hebrew, is that what was actually said in the ad? -
Yimpa replied to Loveeee's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Cartoon Awakening is a helluva trip. What happens when we temporarily step outside ordinary logic and allow a different kind of reality to reveal itself? Who or what is intelligent enough to do that? -
