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Unhinged levels of play
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@Rofl Because I doing these retreats I have to be much more careful than usual.
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Short scientific context from chat GPT: GLP-1 medications like tirzepatide don’t only work on the body — they also act directly on the brain. They activate receptors in the hypothalamus and reward system, which regulate hunger and behavior They reduce dopamine response to food and rewards, which lowers cravings and impulsive behavior They modulate the brain’s reward circuitry, affecting motivation, addiction patterns, and emotional responses They may also reduce inflammation and improve brain metabolism, which can support cognition and mental clarity Some early studies suggest: improved mood and cognitive function (still preliminary) reduced “food noise” and binge-related brain activity (sometimes temporary) There’s also growing evidence that these drugs may influence: addictive behaviors emotional regulation long-term brain health But important: research is still early many of these effects are not fully understood yet In simple terms: These medications don’t just make you eat less — they change how your brain experiences reward, impulse, and motivation.
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@Leo Gura Understood. However, I was getting more at what puts it over the line this time, compared to other substances you talked about in the past. But anyway, I’m sure you’ve made a very conscientious decision, so I won’t go on about it.
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Lila9 replied to Monster Energy's topic in Society, Politics, Government, Environment, Current Events
Perhaps. I’ll watch those documentaries and reflect. Though I don’t expect myself to have extraordinary levels of compassion for their desires. -
I wanted to share something I’ve been reflecting on, I saw Leo talking about GLP1s being conformity and would like to bring the topic to discussion. For context, I’ve been on the spiritual path for about 10–12 years. I come from a pretty “blue stage” background, growing up in Brazil, very conservative, very religious.. and I left the country after going through sexual abuse. That experience left a deep mark on me and led to severe eating disorders, especially binge eating, which affected my brain and behavior for many years. When I moved to the U.S., I had the opportunity to develop more into stage orange (structure, money, building a life), but I feel like I skipped that and went straight into green. For those 10–12 years, I went super deep into spirituality.. meditation retreats, lots of psychedelics, self-development work, I even lived with a nun for three years. I also created a YouTube channel in Portuguese where I talked about psychedelics and PD and worked with women from Brazil online. But I was very much in stage green. I had this idealization that I would be able to make money from that, but the reality is that the Brazilian currency is undervalued, and I wasn’t making much. So I ended up putting that project aside, thinking I might come back to it later when I’m more financially stable. Internally, I grew a lot. But externally, I didn’t build much structure, especially financially. I always say that I got lost in spirituality it’s a great place to be lost but it had its price.. About a year ago, I started taking tirzepatide (hang in there before you judge me lol) I initially took it because of my eating disorders and my relationship with food. But what surprised me was the mental and emotional effect. I became much more focused, calm, and emotionally regulated. My thoughts got very much quieter. I had less impulsivity, less emotional reactivity and much less mental noise, this had a huge impact on my life. In the past year I was able to save around $100k, I’m honestly not sure I would have done that without the level of focus and consistency I had during this time. It felt like I was finally able to prioritize and follow through without getting pulled in a hundred emotional directions. It also felt like I finally started integrating stage orange.. discipline, structure, longterm thinking, financial organization. Not in a forced way, but in a very natural, grounded way. Like my system was finally able to support it Another important piece is relationships. In the past, my relationships were very intense and often toxic. I associated intensity with love. Right now, I’m in a calm and stable relationship, and I’ve realized how different that feels. The medication helped me here too. It reduced the anxiety, the overthinking, and the need for emotional intensity. It helped me not confuse chaos with connection, for someone with my background that was huge. I watched my dad trying to kill my mom countless times and somewhere within me unconsciously that was love. Now I’m starting to see how important it is to actually integrate these stages, I don’t think I could move a bit more towards yellow without first stabilizing orange in a real way. I stopped taking tirzepatide about 2–3 months ago (I used it for around 8 months total), and I’m now feeling some of the old patterns coming back, especially with appetite and emotional eating so I’ve been looking into other options that might support me in a less invasive way, like Bupropion, Contrave, or Metformin. I don’t think tirzepatide is something I want to rely on longterm, but I also can’t ignore the level of regulation and focus it gave me. I’m curious if anyone else has experienced something similar (especially with medications that affect appetite or dopamine) where it impacted not just your body, but your thinking patterns, emotional regulation, relationships, and even your development path. I’m still trying to understand how much of this was the medication itself and how much was timing and mindset, could just be the harvest of all the time I meditated and studied etc.. but the shift has been very clear for me. Sorry for the long post! Thank you for reading ☺️
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It sounds like an addiction. All the compulsion and sense of FOMO you describe. You can get free support for recovery through SAA. There are also Zoom meetings. https://saa-recovery.org/
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The reason Jazz performances come off as so tight is because we play a set of songs called standards for years. So even though we improvise, we practice that same bag of tunes every week for years and years. So, yes improvisation is going on spontaneously, but the same tunes have been practiced, refined, and refined some more over the course of many years. Nobody plays a new tune well the first time. I have about 80 songs in my bag that I practice every week. You get deeper and deeper into the tune so your improvisation starts to sound better and more aligned with the tune and chord progression. Also you develop little things like, this is what I normally play over this part. So, it's not composed but you develop a bag of tricks sort of for each tune as a matter of habit. Some people call these licks, but they're not memorized, they develop over time when you practice.
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100% positive one It took a few reels but I see Leo finally learned to play the Instagram game by adding psycho drama to it But truly, a beautiful, positive message indeed.
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Some videos I liked:
- Today
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Israel claims that these actions are driven by security concerns: Hudreds of airstrikes to prevent weapons transfers to Hezbollah and limiting Iranian and Iranian backed presence in Syria, ground operations to create a buffer zone between the new regime in Syria and Israel. Part of the strikes are in response to rocket fire and are aimed to protect the Druze
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I have a lot in common with @Natasha Tori Maru in the mistakes I have fixed over the past few years. To add, the most prominent lesson I have learnt in the past year and half is respect towards the suffering of others. I cannot just go up to my friend and fix his problem for him unless he wants to fix it. I respect people and if they want to deal with something themselves they are free to. I will only help those who seek advice from me. Not because 'Don't throw pearls at swine' but because it's their choice if they want help or not. Respect your fellow being. By giving advice to someone who, although may need it, doesn't want it I disrespect their will. I will always be there and I'll have you cognizant of the fact that I CAN help, but not unless you ask me to. Respecting suffering has also allowed me to become a better listener and provider of emotional support rather than giving immediate advice. A lot of the times when people vent they do not seek advice but relief. They want someone to confide in. Like a scared animal they seek shelter. I know because I went through this exact phase. A surprising amount of times people know their faults, they just need emotional support to get back up. I used to think that having somebody vent their problems to me will fill me up with negativity and affect my life so it is best cut such people off. The truth is that there is a big difference between someone who genuinely vents for support and someone who vents for attention. The latter kind is what you must cut off. When humans suffer it is often like being lost in a raging sea not knowing where you will be taken. At such points in life one needs an anchor to hold on to so they can feel safe and then act to get out of that situation. I am continuously learning to become a better anchor for those around me. In periods of deep and prolonged suffering, even little islands of hope can go a long way. The only real way to mentally survive torture is finding happiness in the little things. A 5 minute walk, the way the sun shines through the window, the great taste of a burger. I have grown to love people because I learnt to love myself.
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Looking forward to it. Kriya already in the rotation.
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I like this thread idea! One mistake I made — although I wouldn't necessarily redo it now — is trying to build a business and paying for expensive, live PUA programs while already in debt. In other words, taking dumb risks. I was in my early 20s, fresh out of college, and ambitious, so I said 'fuck it'and racked up credit card debt on top of student debt. Now I'm in my late 20s and a hardcore conservative with my money. Putting everything that's not non-discretionary expenses straight to debt payments. Should be out of debt in 3 years. Then will take more calculated "risks" when the time's right. ----- Another mistake I made was dating an ex-Vegas stripper psychopath. Again, being young, stupid, and horny, I did it for the sex. Well, ended up with the best sex of any of our lifetimes, but new trauma I had to process after I got the police to drag her away. Again, I wouldn't necessarily redo this one because it taught me incredibly valuable life lessons I wouldn't learn in any other way (like the PRECISE workings of a narcissist / psychopath, not just a YouTube video about it but direct experience). But I also wouldn't relive it either. ----- @YIDIRYIDIR appreciate you sharing this. You've got some interesting ones — I resonate a little bit with the "violent communication" one.
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@Rofl When a good thing becomes too popular it gets abused, then demonized, then banned.
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integration journey replied to Nivsch's topic in Society, Politics, Government, Environment, Current Events
Just curious What’s you take on Israel’s aggression in Syria for the past year and a half? plz don’t tell me to link anything because it’s so obvious at this point and most of my resources are in Arabic. -
@Leo Gura In the past you shared openly about the specific substances and other techniques you used. I was wondering about your reasons for not disclosing the substance you will be working with this time. Did you have the impression that discussing specific substances in the past was a net-negative or is it more to protect the integrity of the project? I don’t know if you would agree, but so far I don’t see an inherent benefit in the prolonged trial and error of substances. So any knowledge about which ones work well for others, specifically in the very niche way this community tends to use them, is very valuable in order to make one‘s own search more effective. In any case, great you’re going ahead with the retreat! Wishing you much success.
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Used to straight bulldoze wisdom and advice into people when all they wanted to do was vent. They didn't actually want a solution. Used truth as a weapon to justify my own lack of tact and grace. Now I only bulldoze when other methods don't work huehuehue Projected my own aptitude and capability onto others. When they displayed ineptitude or weakness I refused to accept it because *I* could do it. Golden shadow. Now I accept others are limited without resentment or holding it against them. Used to overshare a lot when I went through CPTSD. Openly spoke about being assaulted, tortured and psychologically abused. Couldn't read the room when others reacted strangely. Thank fuck I have healed all these issues! Used to judge others for engaging in society and capitalism. Used to straight judge a lot more. Now I discern more and try remove my own moral feelings from matters. Work in progress 👠🚀❤️
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This journal will cease until July 1st, devoting myself to a completion of a maximum of two songs. Moving forward, all music will be about engineering accurate visions for people to provide a mirror of whats possible. I will at most release one song per month from now on reflective of the amount of time I have spent on a song. The following song below, is thus only about 65% complete. I have though, spent about 15 hours on it so far with about 15-30 hours longer needed. Every line is worth listening to already. Relative to prior past insights (as above - where I talk abiut creativity), this is about funnelling insight into solidified cathedral visions. Music was meant as ritual, ritual was meant the practising of that which was (1) true (2) created alignment (3) aided growth. "Cathedral Catharsis" is how I would encompass each atomic light (another way of saying) actually, "cathedral" implies something that was built, is holy and is in honouring of the truth and or truthful path, "catharsis" implies insight meeting emotion in its whole divorce from conflicting narrative, "Atomic Light" implies an explosion of truth slowly prepared and detonated that in our case, is in the form of a song. Together, synthesised "Visions of Sacred Light." Music has mostly, well yeah, clearly departed from that, and ritualistic behaviours corresponding, have naturally revealed themselves in the cultural outcomes we see today, with the rest of the entertainment industry nonetheless, contributing to that broken abyss. Naturally, these visions are in part departures but nevertheless, partial alignments with the direction of everyone's journey, my goal is to provide a lighthouse in the darkness, or at the very least, a resonator. As you know, PROJECT : MEANING is devoted to energy mastery, so the content of this song is defined around that tangible non-conceptual purpose (in essence), focusing primarily on exercise to prove the honesty of a system, not belief, just the energy to craft belief how one wishes to align with existence. I introduce to you, "Returning to my Lightful (Rightful) Throne". https://0ooo0ooo0.bandcamp.com/track/returning-to-my-lightful-throne I will release the final version of "Returning to my Lightful (Rightful) Throne", accompanied with one more song, July 1st. Bandcamp is just a more pure platform for me compared to YT, you of course are not by any stretch of the imagination expected to pay for this song or any thereafter, at most, the cost is on how much you can creatively leverage any one vision for your ow personal journey. Enjoy! Best wishes.
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Carl-Richard replied to Monster Energy's topic in Society, Politics, Government, Environment, Current Events
I think when somebody says they empathize with murderers or pedophiles, I think it's primarily a cognitive thing. It's mainly about how you hold them in your mind. That you don't feel them emotionally like you would a child in pain is understandable as you intuitively see them as predators and that's your gut response, big scary things to avoid rather than small fragile things to be protected. But perhaps if you watch a documentary about pedophiles describing their day-to-day experience, maybe you can get a more immediate emotional traction as well. -
Lila9 replied to Monster Energy's topic in Society, Politics, Government, Environment, Current Events
I understand where you are trying to lead me through logic. I can understand the general urge to act on desire, any desire, but especially for murder or sexual abuse of minors, I don't have emotional empathy. I can't get there through logic or abstract intellectualization. I just don't feel empathy for those desires the same way I feel empathy for abused children, for example. I can distinguish when I feel empathy from my heart and when I don't feel it at all. -
Carl-Richard replied to Monster Energy's topic in Society, Politics, Government, Environment, Current Events
I can see myself in the shoes of somebody having a desire and wanting to act on it and the various feelings and situations that might arise. I don't have strong memories of genuine homicidal or pedophilic desires, but maybe especially for homicidal thoughts, I think everybody has had those at least as a passing thought or very weak or temporary gradations of those things. If you are able to understand the concept and experience of desire, and especially if you are able to link microscopic personal experiences of specific desires to their more extreme forms, then there is little that stops you from being able to empathize with murderers and perhaps pedophiles. -
This video is very good for understanding survival. And is also a reflection on what can happen to a place where all its revenue comes from a shady(illegal) activity, with not enough regulation nor law enforcement, which makes people bent any kind of authority as soon as they think they have the "power" to do so, and that includes not just the exploitation of the land, but also the human body. This is a very good counterpoint to the discourse that radical leftists have about defunding the police, this is pretty much what can happen in remote places like that one.
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@Natasha Tori Maru ❤️🌹
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Thank you for sharing your experience and bringing to my attention other aspects that you think I may have missed. My original response was to a user who portrayed the life of attractive women as caricaturally ideal and perfect. Such beliefs among men can fuel even more hatred, resentment, and lack of empathy towards women. My intention was to share my authentic life experience, to show that not everything is bright, and to offer my own feminist perspective, which adds nuance and diversity to this forum. Without it, it can become an echo chamber of male bias. I think it is important to bring diverse life experiences of women, which may contradict or challenge common beliefs and misunderstandings men have about our lives.
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