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That doesn't really add up, as something like 50% of LTRs start via dating apps now.
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Mhm. Why is "word" a separate word if it can be used to describe multiple words? The distortion is a result of the partiality. The fact that my perception is limited distorts my perception of reality. The fact that my preference is for one thing over another distorts my relationship to those things. The fact that I hold an opinion over another distorts my relationship to either opinion. Bias just tends to be used more often in cases where the distortion is so obvious or normative that it becomes seen as negative. But bias in itself is ubiquitous and part of our limited existence.
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Some of the work I'm doing on myself has prompted me to think about the process of "getting what I want". There's a clear progression in my mind from how a child gets what they want to the ways of an adult. For children it's quite simple: you're generally not in charge and the adults determine what you get and what you don't get. But there are options open for children, mostly emotional manipulation through crying (albeit that's a natural not contrived reaction), or sustained nagging and begging, or maybe even belligerence. Looking back at myself I was more of the begging type by nature, my sister was a crier (we didn't change lol). I would get laser focused on wanting certain things and would just not let up. I got my first computer (c. 1982) that way, but I had to nag and beg for about a year on and off. I finally achieved my goal and got it as a combined birthday and Christmas present (my birthday timing sucks). Strangely enough that specific nagging has changed my life, so I was right to do so! After that point I entered a new phase, nothing else really mattered much. You have to understand that having a computer at that time was like receiving alien technology. I poured all my nerdy "wanting" energy into that alien technology. What it taught me was a certain process of wanting that was quite effective: I would visualise what I wanted, I would experiment with and program the alien technology, eventually I would learn its ways, and finally get the result I wanted. That cycle of vision, experimentation, observation, feedback, result, embedded itself into my psyche. In that small domain of life that I built for myself, I always got what I wanted. I'm an effective well paid coder because I always get the result I want. In my own small way I learned to wrest control from the adults around me, and I've been super independent ever since. The problem is I never really learned well how to get what I wanted from other areas in my life. I was a social young kid, but that stopped over night as a teenager. I remember the day clearly, I've probably journaled about it already. I think my deep introversion and relative isolation as a teenager made it difficult to get what I really wanted, and I was ensconced right of the middle of a shitty family dynamic, something which I desperately wanted to escape. I learned helplessness at that point. That even if I knew what I wanted and had vision, I didn't have the means to execute on that - and this was largely true throughout my teenage years. Despite eventually escaping into adulthood it has taken me the rest of my life to chip away at that sense of helplessness. It's still there. There's many things I've wanted that I didn't get. I had a dream as a teenager that by the year 2000 (a mythical date in my young mind) that at 28 I would be married and have at least one kid. I thought about how grown up and responsible I'd be. It never happened. One way or another I've seemed to have dodged conventionality when all those around me went hell-for-leather into it. Saying that I did get a lot of what I wanted: peace, stability, financial reward, girlfriends, pursuing my interests. But there's a lot missing. There's plenty of friction and cognitive dissonance between my conformist and non-conformist parts, I'm living in a kind of uneasy truce between the two. It's not lost on me that I have a perfectly good process for getting what I want: vision, experimentation, observation, feedback, result. It's largely how I've handled my social relationships and got people to like me and want to spend time with me. Albeit, that some relationships have been more organic and less process driven (what a yucky thought). I think applying my recipe for getting what I want from people has been good and bad. It's a perfectly valid if not autistic way to go about things given my previous lack of social awareness. To me it feels completely natural to treat people as a project. But whenever I've properly sat down and actually examined that pattern it's never sat well with me. People are not projects, or experiments or things to be observed. But it is the way I've learned to be social and it has allowed me to push through my autistic way of dealing with people, and become a lot more natural - I've leveraged my natural tacit analytical intelligence as a proxy for social intelligence. Go me! What other ways are there? I've been ruminating about this a lot recently. Synchronistically, reading The Alabaster Girl and splurging out ideas with ChatGPT (talking to the alien technology is so me), the idea of Invitation came up strongly. It's sort of new to my way of thinking. You see I'm so used to waiting for feedback on my experiments, that I have a kind of neurotic need to know now. I can see that throwing out an invitation is a lot gentler and natural way to go about things socially. The idea of an invitation has several distinct meanings to it. It could be a literal invitation: meet here at this time. It could be more like "I'm interested in XYZ, are you too?". Or it may just be "This is me warts and all, what do you think?". The crucial bit is not to wait on tenterhooks for the result of that invitation. This is the bit that will be hard for me to take on. In fact there may never be a result at all and it's ok. It's more like a game of catch, I throw to you and you can choose to throw back to me or not. It's simple and uncontrived with far less mental and emotional effort. It will stop me getting hung up on the result indefinitely. It's more mature. I don't have to throw my process away, it's good for my work. And, potentially it could be very good for the practical aspects of getting my life ship-shape - but that's a different nut to crack. How do I induce a good vision and hence motivation for stuff I don't want to care about? That's the other half of my life.
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gettoefl replied to Riccurdo's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Discipline is getting on track and staying on track. The former needs routines and the latter is beyond routines though you need reminders and refreshers else complacency can set in. You change your mind until you need no longer change your mind. Discipline is indispensable in the beginning and in the end everything is case by case, flowing flexibility freedom. -
According to Pew Research, about 12% of overall dating app users report finding a committed, long-term relationship or marriage through the platforms. Wow sounds like shit.
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@Heaven Kushner's phone was hacked, this is legit.
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If it turns out true this is huge. What do you think about James Li? Is he a real journalist or indulging in conspiracy theories?
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Yeah, some French magic.
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Wilhelm44 replied to Mellowmarsh's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
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Yes I noticed that change. I think he got an OP, full teeth protesis. its all fake. But it make look his teeths immortal at least lol.
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I am now learning Chinese Buddhism: I started with Tibetan - like a fairy tale, then Japanese - simple, 3 principles if not 1; now I study the Chinese Buddhism: they never told me a word, but I'm slowly contemplating on these things.
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https://github.com/tambetvali/tambetvali/blob/main/README.md#journalling - here, there is another suggestion to use actualized.org for my users. I basically think two things: - I cannot manage spam for all my five users every day. - They probably get lost to other discussions here, instead of waiting for half years until I get a new user.
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1000000% agreed Anybody that's serious about kriya yoga is sleeping on authentic Hatha yoga
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@Leo Gura I think you might have a blind spot when it comes to traditional Hatha Yoga. You often emphasize questioning traditions and discovering things for yourself, which I agree with. But couldn't that skepticism itself become a bias? For example, when you dismiss the importance of keeping the spine straight or following precise instructions, how do you know these details are merely traditional beliefs rather than essential parts of the technique? There is a difference between blindly following a tradition and carefully testing a sophisticated system that has been developed and refined over generations. I've been practicing Isha Hatha Yoga, and one thing I've come to appreciate is how much emphasis is placed on precision. The postures, alignment, breathing, and sequence are treated as interconnected parts of the practice. If you modify a technique before mastering it, how can you know whether you're experiencing its full potential? Maybe the real bias isn't believing too much in tradition, but assuming that your own modifications are just as effective without having properly tested the original method. I think Isha Hatha Yoga is worth exploring seriously, exactly as taught, before deciding which details are unnecessary.
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I don't think that is true. I have also met a lot of men who developed sex and validation addiction and then thought that their "nature" is to be poly or just promiscous. The men I have met who really went through a healing journey usually ended up way more solitary and either went for mono relationships or just stayed single. Well these individuals were also not really healthy, I mean some of them literally caused death of millions of people. I have no clue about ADHD thing but I would not look up to them.
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vibv replied to zakarya's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Hi! I'm very intoxicated but vibing! What are you up to? We can link minds if you'd like to connect with something real. -
Related to Leo's new post about discipline, I'm interested is discipline Truth? Is being discipline in your life and having routines, like meditation, working out, eating healthy, etc the way to Truth? So, is always changing your mind, never sticking to a routine egoic and not Truth? What if you are discipline of not being discipline? What if you try to follow your intuition? Is intuition the opposite of discipline? What if you are discipline of following your intuition? Some times I feel like having rigid routines and discipline comes from fear. Curious what you all think?
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Isn't it more than that, through? It's a seperate word, after all. Why is bias a seperate word if it is just synonymous? Unless bias is a domain word. I bias in my understanding also tends to distort judgement/discernment. So while the above forms part of a bias (or can), there's needs to be some distortion mechanism.
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Holy shit he got absolutely blasted right there. More brutal than anything on the forum even.
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bias Hence a preference is a bias, perspective-taking is a bias, opinion is a bias, perception is a bias, etc.
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Schizophonia replied to Rafael Thundercat's topic in Society, Politics, Government, Environment, Current Events
No there were “only” 3 million fewer abstentions in the second round. -
Tuesday: October 27h, 2026. Belly belonging to the abdominal area is distinct from bell ringing.
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From my lastest chapter 😁
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Tuesday: October 27h, 2026. Mnemonic as a memory aid is distinct from finding nemo.
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