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- Past hour
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Where were you before you were born, and where will you go after you die?
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@UnbornTao I'm sure it's a good game. The issue is whether the prospect of playing it excites me. To me the feeling is missing. I have the same problem with Avatar 3. I just don't feel excited to watch it because it seems too predictable and known, regardless of how technically excellent it is. Games and films need to bring something exciting to the table.
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Ok, here is the update from today: Spoiler - there was no date eventually. Been texting her about meeting at 17:00 today (she seemed like she wanted to meet from yesterday's talk), but she ghosted it. Sent a reminder for her just to nudge one time. She didn't answer at the boundary I set for myself so in my mind I cancelled the date and didn't do the preparations I thought of doing, even though I spent some time with chatgpt thinking of the trajectory of the date and some questions to ask. At some point during this ghosting phase I was hoping she won't answer because I was kinda turned off. So yes, a bit of a let down and I was getting anxious for nothing. Not even a practice in hand. So I decided to rest a bit on my bed with the phone and fell a bit into scrolling tinder and even watching some porn gifs for some stimulation. I felt weak. This stimulation makes me more inhibited for socializing and less in the mood to approach. Felt more primal. I didn't really feel like approaching women today. I felt it strong as I went to work out near some beach at night and I was just feeling this inhibiting feeling, yet I at least tried releasing some of this blocked sexual energy by working out. At that point I really considered just going to get a happy ending massage. I first went to eat dinner. After I left the place I saw the guy that's welcoming people to come in trying to convince a woman (I believe in her 30's) to come in. I was in front of her by like a few meters and just told her "yes, I was just there. The food is actually pretty good but he doesn't really know how to sell well". It was just a one liner, nothing to expect. But then she started talking to ME, and said she's traveling alone and so am I, and she offered me to go to a bar with her, could you believe? I didn't even know exactly what was happening, because on one hand I didn't know if she was kinda flirting with me and on another hand she mentioned how she's gonna meet some guys in the bar. I told her I plan to walk this street back and forth and that's it (didn't tell her why, but the reason is because I heard there's happy ending massage there). As I was walking I kinda felt like a bitch - I could've probably just stayed with her and see where things go and practice instead of heading to the massage parlor. But I was just not really in the mood and felt like an incell. She said she lives alone and we also exchanged Instagram (I suggested). I tried making eye contact, but not so easy for me to be so playful. The mood just wasn't very much there, but the thing is that I think she was a little into me by the way she also suggested I come join her and that she was very receptive to me asking for her Instagram and also she messaged me a few hours after + sent a casual video of the ocean. Who knows. I might meet her tomorrow evening for the fireworks show. Anyways, yes, I went to the happy ending massage parlor. They are just so accessible here in Thailand. I think of it a bit like a treat for myself (it's just like 50$) and you get a massage + handjob/blowjob. It was nice but the problem is that I cum too fast. I felt a little weird telling her to relax a bit with the handjob because I was getting close to climax and in general just to kinda guide her to my needs. Felt afterwards a bit like a pussy. Going to such a thing rather than talking to women, but then again, it's all about how I frame it. After all it was a treat I thought of giving myself after those last few days of hard work going out of my comfort zone talking to women. Thing is that I am not willing to tell this to my friends (happy ending massages I got). They know me as this cool dude, but I know that if I tell them then I'll lose respect from some people and be deemed some way. I don't want this. Of course I'd like to get back into running game, but maybe I needed this little pause. So I come back to 7 11 to get a little snack. Then I see the British guy from my room coming with his motorbike here with some British girl. They are both drunk, and the guy was telling me how he plans to take her to the hostel room and fuck her. They were fucking in the room. Later there was a bit of a fiasco in the room because of that, but yes, a bit stingy. The guy went to a club and pulled a girl and fucked her, while I went to pay a 40 year old milf to suck my dick. So overall regarding approaches - I would consider that woman from Capetown a half approach because she kinda helped lead it but I was running with her for a bit and got her Instagram. So you know what? I'll consider it as one because I still was the one to say the first thing. Ok so regarding tinder I think it is quite useless if women choose stuff based on instantaneous mood. But anyways I hope to come back stronger. I'm supposed to meet this Chinese cute girl for a little excursion (she was beforehand in the hostel but moved to another place). I got the vibe that we might become just friends, but I don't really know by the way she shows excitement meeting. I'd like to meet her because she's kinda cute (even as a friend), but gosh I'll need to wake up in like 4.5 hours from now... Plus I'm gonna meet this woman from Capetown. Who knows what will happen tomorrow? Until my next update 🙃
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That’s great! I sometimes bring my arms over my head and back to release some tension in my upper body and it helps to a certain degree so I can see how that video can help. My neck/spine issue is related to compression of the spine. So the number one thing that has helped me the most is lifting my head straight up with my arms and holding for a long time (it decompresses the spine).
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The main tool I liked using to decrapify Windows was this one: https://github.com/ChrisTitusTech/winutil
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@Basman tell me this isn't art I'm a real pain in the ass By the way, do not read the comments if you plan on playing it. In fact, don't search for anything about it.
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Sup! I've been perfecting this clean cookie recipe over the last years and just had the sudden urge to share it. I tested basically everything one can think of. They're pretty spot on (if I do say so myself haha). It's not low calorie but it actually scratches the itch of wanting to eat cookies: 80g oats (blended into flour) 20g buckwheat flour 1 egg 80g maple syrup 20g raw sugar (I tried all maple but it's worse) 120g peanut butter (100% peanuts) 1 ts baking powder 1/2 ts finely ground coffee (I use malt coffee or decaf) Pinch of cinnamon (yes!) Good pinch of salt 70g dark chocolate (I use 70-80% cocoa, if you can get your hands on some orange infused chocolate, it's an amazing combo) Handful of walnuts Combine wet first, then add dry and add walnuts and chocolate last (important). You can rest the dough overnight in the fridge if you have the patience or just bake straight away. Should make 8-9 cookies. Sprinkle a pinch of salt on top before baking at 180 Celsius convection for 8-10 minutes. They should have some crispy spots around the edges but still be pretty gooey in the center. I love to freeze them after baking and take one out in times of need. Actually, I eat them frozen as well - don't knock it till you try it haha. Always feel great afterwards, no sugar crash, nice clean energy and they taste divine. Hope you enjoy!
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This concept is also found in Islam: "The Jabriyya believed that humans are constrained to a set path, do not have a choice, and that everything that happens in society happens by God’s will and destiny."
- Today
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What is all this reality shit? Incessant questions spawned from there 😃
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RisingLane replied to RisingLane's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Beautiful! 15:28 especially. And 31:20. -
One of my favorite films is "Annihilation" (2018). Its a great movie for spiral analysis imho. I covers all stages from beige to turquoise.
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Could it be the case that I'm totally wrong? How am I deceiving myself? What am I? Could it be the case that reality is not a dumb material machine? What is Truth? What is Consciousness? How can I become more conscious? Should I cut my loses and chance paths? How do I take great decisions? What should be my daily routine? What books should I read? What is my plan for today? For this week? For this month? For this year? For the next 5 years? For the next 10 years? For the next 20 years? For the next 50 years? For my whole life? What is a question I'm afraid to ask? What am I missing here? In which ways could I love myself more? In which ways could I love others more? How can I become more mature? How can I evolve to the higher stages of cognitive development? In which country do I wanna live? Do I want to be in a couple? Do I want to marry? Do I wanna have a family? How many kids? Do I wanna have pets? Which type? How can I prepare a relative for the moment of their death? How can I prepare myself for death? What are some bad habits I have in my life? What feels off from life? What is something I love about live but I'm not exploring? If money wasn't a problem, what would I do with my life? What are the people I really trust in my life? Which wants I don't? How to ask great questions?
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I already knew that one of my best friends is a now a Nazi. In my head I’ve been shoving it under the rug. Yesterday I had a discussion with him, and the things he told me crushed me completely. I don’t understand how someone could be so heartless, act so selfish. How can someone so smart, so easily be seduced to such a backward ideology. He thinks he is a hero. I love him. I view him as my brother, but this is becoming too much for me. I feel like someone is carving the inner mass of my heart out, leaving only the outer layer. also vomiting. I feel it in my heart. Seriously. My language teacher told me: if you don’t take care of politics, politics takes care of you. I watched conscious politics episode 1. Politics is something that I never looked at. As a kid, I would deliberately stop myself from consuming anything related to the harsh realities of other people in the world, it was too painful for me to watch. I still do that. It’s time to stop doing that. For me to achieve success this year, I need to cover so much. I can’t procrastinate on politics and other important plans in my life anymore. I have to pay the price; insane amounts of emotional labour. I realise why paying the price is necessary. I need to pay the price, become financially responsible, become emotionally intelligent, fix dating and improve my political literacy. The world is changing, I have to take action, I am super ambitious, for me to do everything I want to do I have to psh the price of insane emotional labor
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But this thinking still operates from "language." It takes it for granted as an objective reality.
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RisingLane replied to RisingLane's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
There is no God but Allah! -
To me it is about the exchange and the probing themselves. Language exists and is something in its own right, so it is possible to have insight into it. Language is whatever it is, regardless of one's state. And the possibility that it is grasped through one's experience does not mean that we, as selves, are the deciding factor who can simply declare that language is x or y. As for your second paragraph, yeah, that's mostly what I was trying to allude to with the term insight. I think it is better left open-ended, in the sense that it will be known when each of us personally grasps what it is. Funnily enough, it could be spoken - using language. That's what language is for. That doesn't mean that what is expressed will be an exact representation, but something will be gotten across. As hard as it is to actually reproduce, I think pretending or imagining what life was like prior to the existence of language can help open up our inquiry. At the very least, it can be a fun little meditation exercise. Also, I like to bring up Helen Keller in these conversations. In her lessons, we may be able to appreciate how earth-shattering this whole business can be. Her case might provide a contrast to our already established "language world." She also said: Which is interesting to consider.
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@Dazgwny You can just start practicing Pranayama for 10-20 minutes, and build onto that some other practices if you want after 6-12 months. You can find very practical instructions of Pranayama breathing here in the books: https://realyoga.info/ And here in articles: https://realyoga.info/posts/ You can also ask ChatGPT to give you super detailed no-bullshit instructions of how to do it, and then just do it for couple months straight as an experiment.
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RisingLane replied to RisingLane's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Allah is the greatest! -
My dad was always creating enemies. Always thinking someone was plotting against him. He built these stories in his head and turned people into enemies. He was constructing the entire thing. He thought people were sitting around thinking about him and how to get him. I always had to tell him, "dad, these people are not sitting around thinking about you. Do you really think they're sitting around in their favorite chair, spending their time thinking about how to fuck you over?" Over the years, he came to realize the absurdity of his enemy creation and is much more peaceful now that he doesn't do it anymore. You create enemies because you're getting something from it. It's about self-worth and emotional pain. There are certain insights or facts that you can use to show you the entire enemy creation thing you're doing doesn't make logical sense. You can deconstruct the entire thing relatively easily if you want to. Just ask.
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Ulax replied to caspex's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
I disagree that it is magnetic. I think sometimes it is and sometimes it is not. In many dysfunctional families, being authentic will get you punished, and can bring upon abuse. For example, expressing anger towards a tyrannical father, or being open about being gay in high school. But in more mature communities, authenticity is more welcomed and doesn't get punished so much. For example, AA meeting. -
You're right, they are categorical opposites. That’s exactly why the synthesis is useful. If I'm herding cattle (managing a complex system) with dogma (stage Blue/Orange), I get frustrated when the cattle don't follow my rules. I waste energy fighting reality. If I inject Pyrrhonism (stage Yellow's immune system), I drop the shoulds. I stop fighting the cattle's nature. I just observe the appearances (the cow is moving left) and respond. Pyrrhonism doesn't tell me where to herd the cattle, but it cleans the windshield so I can see where they are actually going. It turns herding from a struggle into a flow.
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I just don't see much connection between these different things. Seems like you are trying to shoehorn them together. How is pyrrhonism related to herding cattle?
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Most people are not hardcore fans. I am one, and it's hard to stomach Leo for so many hours. He really has to go write a book and have some professional actor read it. It's hard to listen to Leo, just hard. Not because of content but because of delivery. Sometimes the content, too, but not because it's too difficult, but quite the opposite, too simple and redundant, like, I hate the "you are God" contemplation episode, forgot the title, it's full of this, could be shortened to 30 minutes of powerful contemplation material. It's impossible to listen to the full version more than once.
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UnbornTao replied to caspex's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
I like the way you put it. To add a bit to it, it might turn out that, more often than not, the truth is unknown, and so, in order to be authentic, an opening or a search has to occur - if becoming increasingly real with yourself is the goal. In your example, are you disappointed or not? If you are, but you express something that's inconsistent with your internal state, we might call that being inauthentic - with oneself and/or with others. Even in that example, is that the whole story? If you were to look into the disappointment, you might find deeper doorways to authenticity by uncovering what's behind it. If you discover that there's a sense of hurt behind the disappointment, then being authentic would require experiencing the hurt rather than the disappointment. And maybe, at some point, you find that the pain isn't true in itself, but something that's activity-generated. But this is speculation - we'll find whatever we find. -
You can frame it this way: Pyrrhonism is the immune system; Yellow is the muscle. If you only have Pyrrhonism, you end up in a state of passive observation. You might be peaceful, but you cannot build a hospital, design a transit system, or write a constitution. You are paralyzed by the equal weight of all arguments. If you only have Yellow (without the skepticism of Pyrrhonism), you risk becoming a "system builder" who falls in love with their own models and turns into a tyrant (sliding back into Blue/Orange rigidity) When a stage Yellow thinker sees a blocked system (e.g., a political deadlock), they use Pyrrhonism to deconstruct the dogmas holding it back (neither side is absolutely right). Once the debris is cleared, they switch to systems thinking to build a functional solution (given the constraints, this path yields the highest integration). @Leo Gura The strange juxtaposition you mentioned resolves when you realize they answer different questions: Pyrrhonism answers: How do I find peace? Yellow answers: How do I get things done? TL;DR Relax in Pyrrhonism. Act in Yellow
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