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  3. Fearless Love!

    No1Here2c replied to No1Here2c's topic in Self-Actualization Journals

    Its either a Scorpion or a Snake. One pokes you once, the other, twice in one go.

  4. Finished the LP course

    Jannes replied to Jannes's topic in Self-Actualization Journals

    Dont have any time left to do the body doubling and chill.. This sucks, I made it quick in the gym but with cooking, cleaning and so on time was flying. Well tomorrow is another chance.
  5. The chemical will be a placebo, and the awakening will come for Leos proximity aura. Doh, obvious.
  6. Quoting this here. I think its a bit much to ask to click on the link and then to go back here again. But girls are partially responsible for the schemes existance. If they turned down toxic men then there would be far fewer of them. Of course men could decide not to be toxic at all .. but then they wouldnt get a partner ..

  7. Epistemic Scoundrels Mega-Thread

    UnbornTao replied to Leo Gura's topic in Personal Development -- [Main]

    Shit, not bad
  8. I've had three profound trips in my life, and each of them made me realize I don't love my job, even though I worked so that I could try psychedelics. The irony.

  9. Fearless Love!

    No1Here2c replied to No1Here2c's topic in Self-Actualization Journals

    Unfortunate to say, & yet I must, that even the things we tend to value most in life: family, good times, genuine friendship, intimate relationship, pets, etc...etc... All of that, is near complete and utter distraction. There is nothing that does not stand in the shadow of Consciousness work.
  10. These upcoming midterms are not a good time for any brand new Republican candidate in any case. If Dan Bilzerian was smart enough then he would run as a Democrat. Btw, Bilzerian is already very anti-Trump having already called him an "an extreme narcissist", and having called on Trump's cabinet to invoke the Twenty-fifth Amendment. I wonder how he will be able to win the primary if he is going to piss off too many MAGA voters in the GOP primary who still see Trump as their "God-King" no matter what Trump has done. Oh yeah, I love how Dan Bilzerian said before after Trump won in 2016, that it was a great relief that he became president, because we finally have someone "telling it like it is", his anti–political correctness stance, and how culturally masculine — exactly the kind of image Bilzerian liked. Now, Bilzerian has swung so hard against Trump that he's like: “Trump sold out America to Israel / foreign interests / warmongers.” I knew that Dan Bilzerian would turn out to be such a complete moron. I am sure that all of that coke and roids and whatever else he's been pumping into his veins for most of his life already fucking fried whatever small amount of brain cells he ever had to begin with. In fact, what are men like Dan Bilzerian without their looks, money, status, and machismo? I mean I am sure he worked hard for much of what he earned, but at the end of the day, he's fundamentally just another mindless, ego-driven, empty, worthless, corrupt, weak, soul-sucking vampire starved for attention just like Trump is. It's a damn shame that someone like him with his military service record and the body and business acumen that he built could've been a real hero or a true warrior for the people like Graham Platner is. Instead, he took the wrong path because of his fear and greed.
  11. ~shrugs~ ( how was that ? ) That's a lot of work.
  12. Wait until you fool around and find out with him like how Trump supporters/voters have been now with Trump. Just like also what happened by the end of Bush's presidency. People are then going to say: "Dan Bilzerian lied to us like Trump did. He's just turning out to be a playboy moron who doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. I regret for voting him now, just like how I regretted voting for Trump, just like how I regretted voting for Bush. This really is a fucking disaster. Shit! I should've just stayed home and not voted for anyone...."
  13. Offloading the responsibility of understanding onto another authority is an illusion. But yeah, realizing that you're not actually human, especially in your ordinary state, is something else.
  14. Fuck that knowledge. Actually not only that, fuck it all. Burn anything and everything you have.
  15. Haha, good one. You got me pegged!
  16. I dont have time to write more in-depth answer for you but your writing just made me think that I'm grateful I went through the pickup phase all the way, when my moral development was still low. If I had to do it now, it would be way fucking harder.
  17. I have been struggling with this conflict for a long time. My natural sexuality such as attraction to the opposite sex was disrupted due to internalized shame. I see conflicting messages on this subject constantly, mostly with women emphasizing respect, morality, and not acting like pigs, while men emphasize getting laid. The conflict is intensified to an extreme degree when a male has a father who was a sexual predator, and therefore had no decent role model at all. I have also been feminized due to being the only boy in a household of women who viewed me as more dangerous unless I was gender non-conforming. I probably struggle with this cognitive dissonance much more than most people, but I have some frames that might resolve the tension. Firstly, from a biological perspective, the the brain is structured such that pleasure and disgust are processed in overlapping regions such as the Insular Cortex. This may be linked to postcoital dysphoria in which there is sudden feelings of repulsion and shame following a sexual climax. On some level this makes sense if as humans beings we were not designed to do nothing but have sex all the time. Eventually we would have to get sick of it while also needing a pleasure incentive to engage in the act. In this sense, pleasure and disgust is part of a biological process which operates independently of morality or objectifying ideologies. If in the cycle of emotional disgust, then morality would probably be given precedence compared to pleasure which prioritizes objectification in the moment, but can be generalized by an ideology. In my case, due to my association between sexuality and severe moral transgressions in childhood, my disgust response is probably much more prevalent or more intense compared to the general population. Therefore, for me especially, what is considered normal seems horrible and unacceptable. This was reinforced throughout school when boys would hit on me at the urinal, causing me to be afraid of urinals to this day and preferring stalls. I'm afraid of someone coming up right next to me, winking at me, licking their lips, and putting their hands on my shoulder. I feel vulnerable and exposed at urinals now. There were other instances of sexual assault and harassment which made the cognitive dissonance worse, including girls who insisted that I always wanted it because I was a boy. This was happening while my family disputed which sexual orientation was desirable for me to have while I was being vilified as predatory due to my father's actions. This creates a lot of cognitive dissonance that is hard to resolve in terms of morality and prowess. given that my disgust response is stronger in response to moral violations, there is probably a function to this disgust beyond just getting sick of sex so you can move on. maybe it is supposed to be protective, although in my case there was significantly more terror than moral disgust. That said, perhaps the disgust is itself rooted in fear in which case it would explain why fear amplifies disgust. If I am afraid of intimacy due to the possibility of harm, then this would amplify disgust around sexuality and especially prowess. I recall that my core fear was being unloved. This was combined with repeated exposure to the nakedness of female relatives and disgust. Given this fear of being unloved at the core of the avoidance of intimacy, what exactly would a woman want from me in order to love me? It seems that this would be closer to resolving the cognitive dissonance I have been describing. I have been under the impression that I need to be somebody different or to change my identity as there was a fear that my current self was not good enough. It would probably help to clarify what are the exact standards that women are looking for. There might even be a system available for types of women and what they want. I don't know where I would be if there were an equivalent model for men, but it seems that safety and trust needs to be prioritized in some kind of demisexual pattern of attraction. I previously did not have a problem with looking at women and walking up to them based on beautiful appearance, but now the disgust response was overwhelming to the point that it has erased this natural attraction mechanism to a woman's appearance that I previously had. I now have a hard time selecting a woman who is attractive based on appearance and then approaching as this form of beauty has become largely invisible or irrelevant to me until I first establish a person's character. It seems the only exception is massive obesity which makes me terrified of getting close. Other women are more neutral. It might also help to know how exactly to go about practicing vulnerability if women seem to emphasize that. If I have autism, then it is harder than normal for me to communicate my feelings. I tend to instead describe the surrounding circumstances and my responses to them as well as how they impacted my predisposition. The outcome is that my explanations are long because I am not sure how else to discuss my feelings without using models to help me navigate this terrain. Perhaps I am afraid that women will be disgusted with me and I therefore cannot show my full character. The outcome is more isolation instead which is kind of a silent death. What are the exact things which are categorically unacceptable about a person such that they should remain perpetually condemned without a shred of compassion extended to them, and which are the things that are bad but not that bad and therefore acceptable and loveable? Apparently people with autism struggle with dating and intimacy more than the general population in addition to being more vulnerable to abuse as a consequence of difficulty in reading social cues while assuming good faith. What do you think about resolving this cognitive dissonance? How do you square morality, terror, shame, prowess, pleasure, love, and disgust when sexuality seems to encompass all of these things simultaneously?
  18. A fair assessment. I appreciate the candor.
  19. In English, "Fuck it" indicates the individual is fed up. They've reached their tipping point, and in a final spasm of contempt, they can do nothing more than erupt. Orally.

  20. Fearless Love!

    No1Here2c replied to No1Here2c's topic in Self-Actualization Journals

    Take a Lethal dose of Truth.
  21. And you believe it is not true. Check mate.
  22. @NewKidOnTheBlock I mean, we saw what happened with MrGirl

  23. Actualized.org Awakening Retreat Coming Soon

    lostingenosmaze replied to Leo Gura's topic in Personal Development -- [Main]

    Yoooooo, I've been thinking about going to Vegas someday and this is the perfect excuse to do it! 😁
  24. Ahhh, love it! It'll keep happening no matter how many times it's said, particularly when one thinks one is already over this dynamic or understands it.
  25. Domestic violence.
  26. Email sent @Leo Gura. I messaged on the forum that I was interested when you first announced it, and have been eager to see an update from you that it was finally set and planned! Look forward to getting an invite for a Zoom interview. Thank you very much for everything
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