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It took a lot of work and it wouldn't be active without the work. I have a disagreeable and skeptical personality, but that's not so rare. What I'm talking about is much rarer and requires serious work. Frankly, I don't know anyone who has achieved what I'm talking about except Ralston. And none of his students have it. What I'm talking about is not an innate personality type. But some personality types may find it easier to do the work. If it was just a personality type, it would be quite common.
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@LoneWonderer keep floating on through life - your current path is rock solid if you ask me. There is not right or wrong. See where it takes you. My only advice would be to consider seriously all opportunities that come by, no matter how unappealing they may appear 😁
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Thank you for sharing. Sounds like it's the right role for you and like you've found your purpose in it. 🙏
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Same here. But that's just a self-awareness milestone. You may have freed yourself of conformity just a few years ago, but I'm betting you've been noticing it within yourself for most of your life. And each time you noticed it, you felt compelled to address it. Right? That's what I mean by "structural non-conformist". Someone who is structurally conformist wouldn't even want to know they were operating on conformity. Much less address it should they be made aware of it. They'd sweep it under the rug because it doesn't register to them as a violation. But for the structural non-conformist, it makes perfect sense why you'd feel compelled to address it: Because your system is built to generate its own models and evaluate by its own standards, so when it discovers it's running on something it can't trust because it didn't verify, that's a violation of one of its top values: self-verified coherence. The main point is that these types naturally reject conformity. Not out of some rebellion or epistemic standard, but as a structural cognitive bias toward self-verified coherence. Conformists don't feel the need to reject it because their cognitive bias is toward social coherence. Neither chooses their bias and neither can escape it. Regarding the autonomous stage, people such as yourself are operating on hardware that makes reaching it almost inevitable. It emerges from self-awareness after decades of running a specific architecture.
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Definitely felt like it was externally forced. I would never have chosen to engage in a business, let alone construction. Literally the opportunity came up and I just thought 'why the fuck not?'. But I had to be in a place to even want to accept the opportunity. I wouldn't have been able to do this without nepotism. Learning from someone with 40 years of commercial construction experience. But also, I am proficient at the role, and excel without feeling like I force myself. So I am not in this position without some merit. I was selected for the role because I had a mechanical problem solving mind. Resiliance. Positivity. Persistence. Combined with being a woman - I think I had a unique advantage there. So there is some luck involved. Some blessings. But I had to do the work on my end and learn on the job. And fast. No education. Sink or swim. Regardless of it being a family business, if I failed in the role I would have gotten the axe.
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Thanks for comments. I talk about hobbies. I don't talk about jobs. So far my hobby is to be good at a certain video game I like and be the best in it. This means putting many hours of playing every day for many years. I'm just not ceartain that this is what I should do. Maybe there are better things to do.
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Was this something that you forced upon yourself or was growth forced upon you eventually (like all the hens came home to roost typa deal)? I ask because I see it very difficult for me to go at it alone unless change in this domain is literally forced upon me by the hand of god himself! (Jk about the god part, but yeah I see it very difficult to change by my own will). Also in regards to business, I know you have previously mentioned on this forum that it's a family business. If it had not been for a family and strong support network, would you say you'd have had the will to go at it in business alone? Would you still have been in the place of growth today had your circumstances not have been that you started the business with people you love and that support you?
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Ziran replied to Cathy92506's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
Tension <<>> Release -
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integral replied to Rafael Thundercat's topic in Society, Politics, Government, Environment, Current Events
How is this possible? -
cistanche_enjoyer replied to Someone here's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
PSALM 103: With my whole heart, with my whole life, and with my innermost being, I bow in wonder and love before you, the holy God! Yahweh, you are my soul’s celebration. How could I ever forget the miracles of kindness you’ve done for me? You kissed my heart with forgiveness, in spite of all I’ve done. You’ve healed me inside and out from every disease. You’ve rescued me from hell and saved my life. You’ve crowned me with love and mercy. You satisfy my every desire with good things. You’ve supercharged my life so that I soar again like a flying eagle in the sky! -
@LoneWonderer I'll add that the process was slow. Very painful. Uncomfortable. Lots of emotional issues came up through it. I don't know why getting into business and making a career did this for me. I'm still trying to work it out 🥹 But it has been the best thing for me spiritually. Strangely.
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It's because it's not our full-time job, when people work on things they're in flow with, every day and night is constant new ideas and insights into it. I'm having a hard time entering that state when simply reading the blog posts or watching the videos. I'm talking about the full state of insight generation and not simply a looser form of integration when you consume the content and then integrated into into your life. Loose Integration is a lot easier then generating new insights.
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Ziran replied to Cathy92506's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
It belongs to a category of relationships: Tension <<<>> Release. As the grass grows the tension builds. Once it's cut the tension releases. The same energetic principal can be found in many situations. It's very useful. It inspires. -
The psychic strikes again @Ramasta9 Sorry to hear about that. I hope things work out.
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Thank you for your perspective. Yes, I do wonder if it's something I'll outgrow with maturity and age...🙏
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No. You can play against others, beating them just doesn't need to be the source of happiness.
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@LoneWonderer while I can never know your experience directly as my truth - what you describe strikes in very strong alignment to how I used to be. Ask me 5 years ago, and I would NEVER have told you I would ever be in this position. Ever. And it was never something I aimed for at all. I don't view this as a failing on your part. If I did I would have to claim *I* too, have failed! I don't have much advice here, other than a natural progression to this point. I used to detest the social domain. I still dislike the unconscious nature of it. I think a huge breakthrough point for me was realising I can endure another's company and not be for it. I can operate in social domains and recognise these are not my people. Unconscious people. They don't meant any ill. They are just locked in survival and will do almost anything - including fucking anyone over - to look after themselves and those they love. I learned as long as I don't get in the way of that. I'm fine. Even better if I can make them feel and see I aid in their survival (and this is the magic of what I do in business and how it works). I also realised I am not obliged to respond to any conversation. Or questions. Some of these realisations made me sit in peace in social situations because the reframe was that I was not required to do anything. I simply chose to or not. Much of my own shit was the pressure of social CUSTOM. But when you fly in the face of social custom - it requires a profound amount of 'zero fuckd given'. Basically I am based as fuck now, whereas I wasn't before. Not sure any of this rings true to you. I think you will find you might naturally branch out as you age. Or you just might find a perfect niche that meets your survival needs. Big business and construction in particular can seem impossible and high stakes. Step by step. Little by little. I went from introverted, introspective, deep girl to intense, focussed action oriented woman. I cut through bullshit at work. What I thought were needs where just comfort and familiarity causing stasis. For me anyway. That all fell away....
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Mellowmarsh replied to James123's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
What experiences immortality without limits? -
@Ramasta9 oh yes right, I gotchu - that is heavy 🫶🙏🏻 I think some of that emotion is punctuation how you have been expressing yourself on the forum lately. Definitely take care and for sure step back from here if needed. I come here because I do enjoy being challenged for growth myself. But at the wrong moment general conversation here without expression, tone, body language and touch can feel really wrong in the face of flat text ❤️ Sleep, sometimes, is the only thing that brings me peace. When mourning and caring. You have my heart
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@Carl-Richard @Natasha Tori Maru Thanks for your responses. I can see where you both are coming from with your angles on things, and how it can appear with my choice of wording and ways of expression. I am not sure how to respond exactly right now, my last post took a lot of energy. Yes, as all animals in nature, inside we are the same, but some have more toxins, heavy metals, old-waste products, and overall (obstructions) than others, thus preventing the optimal flow of energy/chi/prana ect... and in my experience when the body is hmm... lets say more available? open, clean and clear? a higher 'charge' or 'current' came come through, a higher consciousness, higher information, access to higher intelligence ect... and so while we can access higher states of consciousness via meditation, psychedelics and spiritual / energetic work, it often does not 'stick' because our bodies are heavily polluted, damaged, deformed and modified in unnatural ways through lifetimes of abuse, that unless you clean out the inner-terrain, the old thoughts, habits, beliefs, cravings, perceptions ect.. eventually come back. Because every particle contributes to every thought / ripple effect we experience, if that makes sense, same for the environment we live in, every structure/shape/device emits its signature frequency. When i go on 100% raw and high fruit-based and living mostly in a fasted state, and live in such an environment and lifestyle that most of us live today, i feel my cells literally screaming "WTF IS THIS ENVIRONMENT" - "GET OUT ASAP" so i find at times i need to eat more dense to buffer and dampen the blow on my nervous system, because it becomes far too active, too sensitive, too psychic, too aware of every little thing, which is amazing and a blessing when the environment and lifestyle supports it, but can be chaotic and overwhelming when it does not. At the moment i am holding space here after we recently lost someone dear to us who was murdered horrifically which has shocked us all, so its been heavy on all of us, and supporting the family during the grieving process, and holding space for others spiritual and emotional needs, i find myself eating more bread, potatoes, some beans and nuts which doesn't work the best for me (I actually feel like shit in my body) but its helping me blend in with the denser energies of the people and environment here. This is also why I am probably not flowing best with my wording and expressions lately and maybe even struggling to process emotions. This has been a challenge for me for years because what works for me does not harmonize with a modern environment, so my energy often clashes and my cells rebel. The book: Mans higher consciousness speaks in depth on this. I often find when relapse back to denser foods my function and flow becomes heavily compromised and i experience more negatively. I also been more active on the politics and darker side of things which reveals my attractions and thought patterns lately. Its been wave after wave for me since early 2025 following family, betrayal, health and financial issues, and breaking up with my partner i feel i am still recovering from, and now brother in law stabbed and killed...(who also was the kindest, most loving sweetheart i knew)... i felt i haven't got a break. Kinda like when your swimming at the beach and soon as you rise up to breathe another wave crashes you down, and its like every time i come back to mums, shit hits the fan. In fact, i think since 2020 everything (at least in this environment) is going to shit and i guess i wish i had my own patch of land in nature to escape too full time. I am planning to spend a month or so in Asia and clear my soul a bit from the chaos here and completely disconnect from the technology and socials. Sometimes after very traumatic things its what I find helps me to recover and regain myself again to know whats my next move. There's not much for me to do here but jump on my computer, other than that I do general day to day things, but its like I'm not really living and as alive as i could be here. I guess i am ranting and releasing and rambling. When you taste something greater, a richer life, a greater consciousness, a higher expression of health and living, it haunts you... Sometimes i watch those Aghoris and Sadhus in india and they look so happy all the time, living without ID, without money, without material things but a small bag or backpack, like wtf am i doing? They have less than me and feel closer to GOD.
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Mellowmarsh replied to Nemra's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
I mean that the thing that identifies must be the same for anything that is being identified with. I just wanted to come back to the above point for more clarity. When you say the thing that identifies must be the same thing as the thing identified. Can you identify what that thing is exactly, and is this identified “thing” conscious? It’s just that I’m not really sure what you’re showing me here. Thanks. -
Want to add a bit to this discussion. I don't think Bryan Johnson is someone anyone should be looking up to. Him deciding to publicize his forays into psychedelics seems very preformative to me. I've known about him for 3-4 years, and I wasn't any more impressed with him back then. Guy lives the most contrived, unnatural lifestyle in the pursuit of bolstering his ego. I haven't followed him at all since I learned about him, if he's still eating a vegan diet loaded with supplements for longevity, that's what I initially disagreed with the most about. I've been aware of his 5-MeO escapades in the past week, and to me it just looks like he's added psychedelics to his grift. Even if he is having genuine experiences, the way he's going about sharing them lacks authenticity. Woo guys, let's have some needlessly elaborate setup, a bunch of people that don't need to be there, and I want someone to stand there filming me while I trip so I can make pretentious mini documentaries. To me, psychedelic experiences are extremely intimate, best taken alone or shared with people you are close with. Of course recreational use is just as valid, however I find the former is the most effective if you want to gain tangible spiritual benefit. Trying to attach all this extra meaning, like you're doing some kind of higher scientific investigation of these experiences. Just shut up and take it, and sit quietly. It would be more authentic if he filmed it with a camera himself, laid down on the floor, then spoke to his audience 1:1 about the experience. Instead he makes it into a huge production. It's cool that he's making more people aware of psychedelics, I guess that's positive. However, I think he's far too enveloped in whatever scientific revolutionary lifestyle he thinks he's living. If you need to tattoo the chemical structure for 5-MeO-DMT on your wrist because you identify with it, I think you may have lost the plot, it seems like it's his only tattoo, lol. Maybe I'm just a hater.
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It's quite literally the impeding of movement. Notice if you ever walk on the street and somebody stops right in front of you abruptly, it's so ingrained and spontaneous to get angry. The energy essentially says "move, get out of the way", it's energy that comes when you need to push through some boundary. Even tiny single-celled organisms probably have some kind of anger response. It's so deeply primal. And it doesn't necessarily involve a feeling of hurt. It's much more surface level, like a form of physiological activation. Feeling of hurt usually comes from something else, like shame, guilt, physical hurt, where anger might be involved as a secondary response (some men especially are unable to identify deeper emotions like shame, guilt, but instead only identify it as anger, which again is a primal and kind of physiological arousal). It's a very rudimentary form of emotion, that's what's meant with "lower". Same arguably with pride (despite humans making it complicated with all the mentalistic echoing back and forth). Why place anything in a hierarchy? Why describe anything as any limited thing? Why say anything is a certain way? I don't see why you would limit the problem to emotions or just hierarchical organization. Any type of organization has problems, isn't it?
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moonawakening444 replied to Cathy92506's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
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Mellowmarsh replied to Nemra's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
So does that mean there’s an apparent demand to make what is past and dead to appear as the direct immediacy of the present moment?
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