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I’ll join as the leader
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Hahaha. There probably aren't even 1B instagram users. Edit: Monthly Active Users (MAUs): ~3 billion globally Ok so half of the world population is active on instagram? 🤔 Probably many bots in this count.
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You have the power over deciding what things mean to you. So, you get to choose whether or not to continue making your relationship with casual sex the basis of your identity or not. The meanings that you're projecting onto sex (and onto your identity) aren't something that reality is imposing on you that you're simply subject to. You have the power to make whatever meanings you want to make in life. If you want to maintain a sense of sexual shame as the foundation of your identity... you can choose to keep making the meaning that sex is shameful. But if you don't want to make sexual shame the foundation of your identity, you have the power to change that. Like, when I was a teenager, I got really ego-inflated around being someone who would only ever be with one guy. And I was very attached to that identity. And I felt all kind of superiority to specifically other young women who were more promiscuous. Then when that relationship fell through when I was 20, I was lonely and had poor boundaries... and I ended up being invited to hang out by guys. And I would say yes, and rationalize to myself that I'll just say no if they try to get physical. But whenever they'd go to escalate, I either wouldn't say no... or I'd say no and they'd keep trying and I'd eventually give in. And I ended up having quite a bit of casual sex in a short period of time... like 6 guys in a 2 month span of time. And because I had this denial/shame identity dynamic going on with sex and added all kinds of extra meanings, it created this feeling of being out of control of my sexual drive. Because of my sexual shame, I had this denial that any part of me wanted to at all (when a part of me did and a part of me didn't)... which caused me to be able to rationalize my way into situations where sex may happen whilst thinking that "I'll just say no." And every time I had casual sex during that time, I felt like I was on the chopping block of my own judgments that were forming the basis of my teenage identity... and my sense of superiority over other women (and men too, to a lesser degree). And I felt like I was permanently lessening my existential value. But that's the way shame identities of superiority tend to operate. Because I felt superior on the basis of my chastity... my chastity identity got dashed on the rocks. And it needed to be dashed on the rocks in order for me to grow past my judgements and superior identities. In fact, every single time I've built my identity on the basis of moral superiority (which is multiple times)... my morally superior identities have always been dashed on the rocks. And I'm eternally grateful for that.. even though it's a really mini-ego death in the moment. Remember... "Those who exalt themselves will be humbled" and it will be a mercy.
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+1 Also the life purpose course, of course.
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I don't need help thank you. I'm glad you don't feel offended. Take care.
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You don't need to apologise. No offense was taken. We are trying to help you.
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I'm sorry if I pushed too hard. I know I shouldn't even have started it from the beginning.
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It's the inverse. Don't blame truth for the pain that lies caused.
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Sorry can't be done. It just is what it is. I respect and appreciate your effort but it's futile for me. I'm just gonna be this way till I die.
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No worries, I can keep saying it. Most happy to oblige 😊 You are incorrect.
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hahahah would have been crazy tho
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Oh damn I saw 831M instead of 831K 😄😄😄😄
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okay he doesnt have 1 billion followers
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You're projecting a whole lot of extra baggage onto sex that need not be there... and it's creating a sense of sexual shame for you. You probably even feel guilty and ashamed when you have sexual feelings with the intensity of the meanings you project onto sex. And what worse is that you've built your entire identity and sense of superiority off of the basis of sexual shame and judgment. That means, if you ever transgress that boundary, it's game over. And you're going to be right on the chopping block of your own absolute judgments. And because you believe it to be so, you will carry sexual shame for the rest of your life... because that was an identity rule that you projected onto sex. The issue is that ironically, you make casual sex mean way too much about who you fundamentally are as a person... and your sense of existential value. And you project those same arbitrary value judgments onto other people. What I recommend is to stop projecting all these extra meanings onto sex that aren't there, like... It's a shame you carry the rest of your life (That's only true if you decide that it's true. The power of meaning sits with you) It imprints a memory on you body/mind/soul and will disrupt all future relationships (This is magical thinking) You cheated on your beloved that you haven't met yet (If your beloved sees it that way, they're immature and insecure. Don't get involved with that person.) You just have to recognize that what you're believing is truth is actually just a projection of meaning that isn't inherently there. And right now, your relationship with casual sex is serving as the foundation of your identity and sense of meaning in life. I recommend removing casual sex from your identity altogether.
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I'm going to ask a few questions to see what it might be? 1. Is there a concern that escalating to something physical is or will perceived as bad/unethical/predatory? Or is there a fear that it is bad/unethical/predatory? (This one can come up relative to the drama triangle (hero, villain, victim) when someone sees themselves as the villain and others as the victim.) 2. Is there a concern that escalating will cause her to suddenly "uno reverse" you and be like, "Wtf are you doing?" even if she's shown tons of overt interest? 3. Is there an avoidance of steps you don't have a lot of experience with? Like, you know how to approach and spark attraction? But maybe you're fuzzy on how to actually go in for a kiss? 4. Are the women you're attracting women you genuinely want something physical with? Are you avoiding getting physical because you don't actually want to? 5. Do you have body insecurities... like fears of having your body seen by a woman? Similarly, do you have performance insecurities? 6. Is there a fear of losing the shield of surface-level interactions.. and having something that gets closer to intimacy and being seen for who you are? 7. Are there fears of pregnancy or STDs? 8. Is it an identity thing? Like, "I'm not the kind of person who does this." 9. Is there a sense that you have to "earn" sex or physical affection from a woman? And maybe you feel like you haven't done enough to deserve it... or there's something undeserving about you? (Note: Earning/deserving aren't even real. Women's attractions are never earned. They just happen because feelings arise.) There are probably some others I could ask. But let me know if any of these resonate.
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mmKay replied to QandC's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
It sounds like you're going through an ego-backlash due too intense inner work. Take a little break and distract yourself with some healthy human stuff Pain and suffering is definitely a sign of becoming more conscious in your situation. The ego will kick and scream when you cast the light of awareness on it, since it's an illusion fighting to survive Truth Take it easy and try not to bite more than you can chew. Also give yourself some slack. No one is a saint. Survival is a dirty game. -
r0ckyreed replied to AtmanIsBrahman's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
But I’m also hallucinating my hands right now. So if the White House is a hallucination, if a unicorn is a hallucination, and if my hands are a hallucination, then what makes my hands more real than the White House or a unicorn since it’s all a hallucination? What makes one hallucination more real than another? If the White House is as real as my hands, then it implies that the White House is just as real as my hands even though I cannot see the White House like I can my hands. Edit: Thanks @Leo Gura for helping me with this. This is one aspect of consciousness I cannot understand. If actuality is a hallucination and if concept/imagination is a hallucination, then what is the difference? Saying the external world is a hallucination/imaginary is no more helpful to me than saying my hands are a hallucination/imaginary. My hands are the clearest perception I have; whereas the White House is a conceptual perception I am having now. If reality is imaginary, then it is also the same thing as saying reality is real since there is no other reality to compare it being “imaginary” against. Real and imaginary cancel each other out when we talk about the Absolute. I still feel like I actually went there and that I actually have a car even though I only conceive them and cannot perceive them right now. -
But how else will you improve your social skills without talking to them?
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I do get a sense of moral superiority but that's not a bug it's a feature of what just is. And I know what motivates people to do it I just think the temptation should be resisted. That being said, although I haven't had much experience in this field but I surly am guilty of doing Somethings at the very least. But here's the thing I never feel proud of any sexual activity I've done if that person was not gonna last in my life. On the contrary, it's a shame that you have to live with your entire life. There is nothing good about experiencing it with anyone that's not gonna last in your life and who is not gonna be yours. It just imprints a memory on your body and mind and soul that would be there with you forever and disrupt all of your relationships yet to come in the future. That is why it is prohibited in all the traditions of the world. It ultimately feels like cheating to your beloved whoever he or she is going to be and whenever it's going to be.
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Sounds like you believe you are not good enough for her. You gotta work that out. Or at least talk to women you are more comfortable with.
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Depends on why it is you cant seem to focus, as the cells in our body arent a computer program (Give me X name, take X medicine, result is focus), ask yourself 'What do you think you need for whatever it is you are going through, thats the supplement you might need to try, assuming you are doing some research alongside the reflection after on ""self, med., focus, etc.) What does your body need? And also, how can you know what your body needs, without anyone else guiding you on "what tou need". The best supplement is the one you think you need; Aka the needs of a body that is not run by an algorithm. Think about it.
- Today
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Hey welcome! I think everyone feels lonely, i know i do. I'm also trying to more active in forum. I think just participating in any social situation helps you 100% If you are busy like me, i usually just go the people profile i like like leo, Natasha or anyone really you like and see what post they recently posted on, then if i have an opinion i would share it and leave. That's takes like 5mins in day randomly. That's a easy way to dip your foot in. And honestly is super fun. You randomly come across perspectives that's super interesting.
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It's not a realistic scenario, the corrupt and framing part aren't realistic, especially paired with your family ever being murdered.
