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@Judy2 @Ulax @bazera All good! I wish it had not happened, that is true Bazera: We did a session on holotropic breath work but it did nothing for me as I kept falling asleep (I do that very easily). But other people had crazy experiences where their body moved weird. It is something I am open to do, but I haven't done enough research on it Part of why I want to do more psychedelics is because it was easy and had a crazy effect (can't take the laziness out of me haha). Of course it is because it's the only thing that has made a difference I'll look for that "trauma release exercises", thanks! ---- Ulax: I downloaded a book about IFS and watched a few YT videos. It does make sense, but I can't say I've gone deep Hopefuly you solve your CPTSD too! Thanks1 -------- Ludy: It is not that I cannot share my emotions, it is as if I was a psychopath with no emotions. If I stop and look, even in quite intense situations, I don't find any body sensation ----- Everyone: I wish I could express my situation better, it is just so weird being this far detached that it is hard to find solutions
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@r0ckyreed Good answer
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@Oeaohoo A .1% increase in baseline consciousness could be the difference between depression on the brink of suicide and genuine peace, a sense of purpose, and a heart full of gratitude. I'm less than 1% higher in my baseline from when I was at my lowest. But I live in a different reality. If you're more interested in the truth angle than the liberation angle, then there's plenty of that too.
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I think it's one part, yes. I have seen people - me and others - doing stupid stuff to themselves just to make the point of "I'm in control of my body". Smoking, alcohol, drugs, bad eating habits - we all do it but beyond a certain degree it barely makes senses. IMO self-sabotage is also maintaining a coherent story. It's not about being a healthy or constructive story, it's about making sense. Example: I have been treated in way XYZ, I thus must be "bad, guilty, not loveable etc" --> information that goes against this identity cannot be processed properly. Heh? You say I'm loveable? But for 18 years, the message (or at least, my interpretation of reality) was the opposite. How can it be true that you tell me now something so different? Maybe the subconscious is very basic here. Like a traffic light, you can't jump from red to green, you need to pass yellow to have a coherent process (story) for your identity.
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A combination of mother issues and rejection in early life. It’s interesting you ask these questions. Earlier today I was discussing my broken psychology with ChatGPT and it went down a similar line. Firstly: Secondly:
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I feel like when we experience trauma, that can affect how we interpret reality. All of us have this to some degree.
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I am not going to go into details since it is private. Best not to speculate or assume too much about it. If you are worried about whether I have trauma, I don't. All my personal history is resolved and irrelevant now.
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Probably when I get to talk with other people who hear something about me she is in danger of loosing social status if I talk shit about her. So might also be a tactic. Or she thinks I am up to grab as I didn't play to hookup right away with that girl who is likely in contact with people of the old theatre club and that's also her style. .. It's always a mix of many different things.
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This one makes me wonder a little. I don't want to emphasize something uncomfortable either.
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Its SO hard to decide wether I want to write that girl who changed her profile pic. Emotionally I closed off to her and it's quite painful to reconnect. It's partially like the last time I revisited the old theatre club. My guess is that external pressure got to her. How I behave in my new social spot was communicated to her which might make me look less threatening and more in need. Or the second that different impressions of me collided and she as an opinion maker got pressured to show how she contributed to it. She was kind of last in line anyway, other people in the old theatre club already did that. Still I want to appreciate that somehow, but really she could have just written me a PM I don't know what this pretending is about.. Fucking actors ..
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Raze replied to Husseinisdoingfine's topic in Society, Politics, Government, Environment, Current Events
This guy is apparently going to consult the White House in a few weeks. He’s persuasively arguing the risks of further entanglements. So I don’t think it’ll continue long. -
What do you think broke in your case? No need to respond if you don't want to go into it. Do you think having an identity around trauma means that anything that challenges that identity is rejected in order to protect it? Maybe there are multiple identities and some are stronger than others, a "Desire" identity and a "Resenment" identity.
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Being ugly is being mean.
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I think that one also builds an identity around the traumatised part of oneself. The ego seeks to defend itself, even - especially - if it is broken.
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Interesting, thanks.
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Agreed. This resolves some of the binary tension between survival and truth-seeking.
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Self-Realization happens in an instant, but it usually doesn't stick. In Yoga it's called Nirvikalpa, vs the abiding state of Sahaja. Nirvikalpa is, in the context of serious practice, common. Sahaja is quite rare. And then beyond Sahaja there are levels of baseline consciousness which are indescribable but can be glimpsed through psychedelics- this is sometimes called Turiyatita or the God-state. If I were to give an argument against psychedelics, it would be that they might make people ambivalent about raising their baseline state (although for me it was quite the opposite). Which is a tragedy, raising the baseline is far more important than glimpses.
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It's uncanny how trauma often converts into self-sabotage. I do wonder why that is. What do you think? My reasoning is that it's connected to low self worth, and that attacking yourself is often the only form of control available.
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@Leo Gura check PM 😉
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Just watched the video. I really liked it. I love reality.
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I wonder if it works like this… Is it a mountain that you gradually climb up or is it something like a sudden rupture of levels? The teaching that the True Self is never revealed and therefore anterior to all of creation implies a disjuncture between any action one might take to raise one’s consciousness and the ultimate objective of Self-Realisation. Interesting.
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_Archangel_ replied to Cireeric's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@Oeaohoo Didn't know of this lil chant. Ty for make me notice. -
Feedback in two words: love it. I can see the structure and clarity already in your post, impossible to miss. I like the direction you create with this, including the action focus: "Find your intention, align with inner feeling, with what really matters, be flexible. Execute and stop when you notice misalignment, repeat process" Resonates a lot. The intention idea is something I also do currently, but in less structured approach. Will try the repetitions, sounds promising I often failed to execute on my intention, so I'm open to learn Blind spots potentially: 1) You don't know what you don't know. Or what you're not aware of yet. --> Double check your intention from time to time with someone else. Sme who's skilled in reading you, someone that knows you well, someone that has good intentions for you, sme you trust. 2) Check your personal "quality of life" according to your definition of it. In the medium to long term, where does your method take you? I'm saying this because for instance your idea of highest intention could be "spent time alone to recharge" but in reality someone from the outside - close friend - would say: "Bro, you need to get outside and meet new people". The other thing you already mentioned re "rigide" --> structure follows purpose, not vice versa. Other application: You didn't ask for this, but you sound like it might be something for you. The challenge of aligning your intentions with others. Dating, business, activities with friends doesn't matter. You have an approach for this? For instance I sometimes openly state my "best and worst case scenario" and ask others for theirs. By giving mine first, I give them courage to do so as well. And by giving a range, I do both 1) show openenss but also 2) define my boundaries And if they don't know their intentions, I aks if they want to find out. If yes, I ask them how they want to do it, or make a proposal how or do it. Or I state my intention in a concrete proposal and ask how they feel about it. sth like"worst idea in the world, love the idea let's do it now or something in between?" The better I know someone, the more easier the alignment. Lots of potential for misunderstandings at the beginning of any interaction. What changes is from situation to situation the tone and general vibe - I sometimes do it in a funny way, flirty, playful, focused, empathic, serious etc. What stays is the open feedback loop, approaching it as open as possible like you would in improve theater.
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It wasn't really like that. You have to be careful about you imagine. If you imagine something heinous then it doesn't make sense.
